Read Miss Impractical Pants Online
Authors: Katie Thayne
He nodded, taking a step closer. Her eyes now fixed at his waist, she silently applauded him for being one of few men able to look hot in man-pris. Her stomach turned a somersault as his clean, soapy scent enveloped her.
Wordlessly, he took her face in both his hands and forced her to look at him. There was a disquieting intensity in his eyes. She struggled unsuccessfully against his firm hold to turn her head away. Her imagination ran wild as groin electrodes whizzed around, tickling her pee region into
a frenzy
. Her skin rippled with a deluge of sinful sensations.
Deliberate to the point of excruciating, he drew her to him and parted her lips with his. Eyes drifting
closed,
she melted into the minty, warm mouth massage. One arm slid down, wrapping her waist, while his other hand traced along her jawline, making its way to the top of her neck. Splaying his fingers through her hair, he supported the back of her head. Straightening to full height, he lifted her off her feet and walked to the side of the flat-fronted hotel for more privacy than the desolate street offered, his lips never leaving hers.
He clutched and released fistfuls of cascading hair, kneading her scalp to the spiking rhythm of his erratic heart as the kiss crescendoed with intensity. A low guttural moan escaped her as she surrendered herself to his passion. As if he could make them one, he pressed her body tighter against him. She shared his mutual desire to meld into the same frame, and felt the muscles of his forearms and biceps tighten against her. The groin electrodes were whirring at an unprecedented rate. When she was sure she was about to explode, his
arms slackened. His hands returned to cupping her face and his mouth relinquished hers. Leaving behind three soft, warm kisses, he pulled completely away. He turned his back to her and ran his hand through his disheveled hair with a groan.
She only stared at the outline of his back, dumbfounded and unfulfilled for a second, before she had to silence the groin electrodes. She turned away, staggering a few steps before holding herself in an agonizing crouch.
Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!
She bounced on both feet,
then
hopped from one foot to the other. Once the tingly-pee feeling had simmered down, she gathered up her pride and turned to face what she suspected in the absence of light was Lucas’s curious stare.
The outline of his rugged contours aggravated that darn peeing sensation again, and she had to cross her legs in order to make her mind function. Turning an abrupt about-face, she speedily recited her latest mantra under her breath: “Kissing cousins cause catastrophic confusion and create colossal consequences.”
“Sorry?” he questioned, straining to hear her words.
She stiffened at his sound. Flipping her hair casually over her shoulder, she answered, “Oh nothing.” Then, gaining her composure, she said, “What the hell what was that about?”
He shrugged unabashedly. “I couldn’t help myself. It might have been my last opportunity.” His gaze was fixed to the ground. “Have you made a decision yet?”
“I can’t believe that Mrs. Albright is such a blabbermouth! Is there
anybody
who doesn’t know what’s going on in my personal life?” She threw her hands up in embarrassment as much as annoyance.
“Don’t—don’t blame Mrs. Albright, please. She feels horrible. It was Mum who tricked it out of her.”
It wasn’t hard to believe that the guileless housekeeper could be duped by the artful Lottie.
“Fair enough, I can see how that could happen…but still.”
A tense silence hovered over them while his eyes searched hers for an answer to his question.
“Yes, I’ve made my decision.” Her face bore no expression. “I should go call Jared now to give him my answer.”
“Which is…?”
“I’ll tell you after I’ve made the call.”
***
“What time is it in Thailand?” Katie asked Andrew as she rifled through her bag for her pajamas.
“How the shit should I know?” He was only pretending to be aloof. “Quite late, I imagine.”
A single lock of hair had fallen over her eyes. Tucking it behind her ear, she tossed her pajamas onto the bed and slipped onto the veranda, cell phone in hand.
Before Andrew had time
to
reposition himself into a non-eavesdropping, nonchalant position, she was back.
She stormed past him, scooping up her pajamas along the way. “He didn’t answer.” She slammed the bathroom door shut before he could reply. Fifteen seconds later, she poked her head out the door. “It’s late here—it’s probably later in Thailand! What could he be doing that he couldn’t answer his phone?” Again she slammed the door, not allowing Andrew a response. Thirty seconds later, hair twisted into an exploding bun, toothbrush dangling from her mouth, she opened the
door again. “I
mean,
heesh shupposed to have a girlfriend! We’re practically promished! There should no reashon he wouldn’t anshwer my call sho late at night.” Her striped cotton pajamas hung loosely at her hips, allowing her semi-fitted tank to expose her torso as she wielded her arms about frantically. A foamy drool of toothpaste slithered down her chin, sending her back to the bathroom—slamming the door again.
Mid-spit, her phone “Jitterbugged” along the countertop. She quickly rinsed, wiped her mouth with the back of her arm, and ran out to Andrew, waving her hands in front of her as she jumped around.
“It’s him, it’s him! What should I do? What should I do?” she whisper-yelped as if Jared might hear her.
“Breathe,” Andrew instructed, halting her with the pressure of his hands on her shoulders.
She did as she was directed, bringing a long inhale through her nostrils.
“Now, pick up the phone.”
The spastic hopping commenced again. “What should I say? What should I say?” Her neck and chest were beginning to blotch with nervousness.
“
Crikey
Duchess, tell him whatever you planned on saying in the first place.”
The phone chirped a series of chimes indicating the call had been dropped. She stared at the “one missed call” message, stupefied.
Andrew pried the phone from her clutch. “Pull
yourself
together,” he ordered. “Whatever you’re planning on telling him, remember you still only have lukewarm feelings for this bloke—that gives you the upper hand.”
Katie put in to argue, then closed her mouth over her words and nodded.
He pressed the phone back into the palm of her hand and slapped her on the behind as she headed for the veranda.
“Jared, hi.
Sorry, I was brushing my teeth and couldn’t get to the phone in time.” Her stomach churned with nerves, prompting her to push her head into the room and beckon Andrew out for moral support. He ran over to share the earpiece with her.
“Katie, what do you want? You woke Natalie up.”
Woke Natalie up? Are they sleeping together?!
Katie was prodded by Andrew’s annoyed scowl. “Are you and Natalie in the same bed?” She didn’t want to sound like a jealous girlfriend, but she couldn’t help it. She also didn’t want to consider her hypocrisy. She’d shared a bed with Lucas…and would be sharing one with Andrew as well.
“Relax. We’re sharing a room, but we have double beds. Is that why you called—to check up on me?” He sounded pleased.
Katie was losing control of the conversation. She knew it because Andrew elbowed her sharply in the ribs. “No. I…I called because I just found the ring.”
“Oh yeah, about that, I wasn’t thinking clear when I asked you to come with me.”
Clear-
ly
! You weren’t thinking clear-
ly
!
She pondered his answer and suddenly felt a hundred pounds lighter. “Whew! I can’t tell you how glad I am you’ve changed your mind.”
“Huh?”
She prattled on. “
It’s
funny how things always seem to work out, don’t you think? I’ve been so nervous to call and break up with
you. Turns out I didn’t need to be—you were thinking the exact same thing!”
“Break up with me? What? I haven’t changed my mind at all,” Jared spluttered. “I was only going to say that while I’m in training I wouldn’t be able to see you anyway, so you don’t need to quit your internship early.”
Andrew rolled his eyes and began making a crude gesture as he mouthed “Wanker.”
“Katie, I love you. I don’t want to break up—I want to marry you.”
Katie turned a frightening shade of puce and Andrew began massaging her shoulders encouragingly.
She managed to utter a feeble “You want to marry me?”
“Of course I do.”
“What about Natalie?”
“What about Natalie? We’re just friends.”
“Then why did you take her on
our
trip to Thailand?”
“Because you’re always telling me I need to be more spontaneous.”
“Spontaneous with
me,
dummy.
I didn’t want you to be spontaneous with other women!”
He gave a short frustrated breath. “Well, how was I supposed to know what you wanted?”
Prodded by Andrew, who had resumed his crude gesturing as a silent description of Jared’s mentality, she collected enough pluck to say what she should have said a long time ago. “I guess that’s the point, Jared. You don’t understand me well enough.”
If she would have thought him capable, she would have given him credit for being witty when he asked, “What do you mean?”
“I mean…it’s not going to work between us,” she answered with an unapologetic note of finality.
And that was that.
Katie took a slow, calming, deep breath. Looking at how still and peaceful the water was under the moonlight, it was hard to believe her day—no, her life—was so crazy. She glanced at her watch. She had been walking for nearly an hour, and Andrew would probably be worried about her by now. She hadn’t told him where she was
going,
just that she had to clear her head after her breakup call with Jared.
As she walked down the hallway to her room, she saw Lucas ahead, about to knock on her door.
“Hey,” she called softly.
He turned around. “Are you okay? Did you and Andrew have a row?”
Katie shook her head. “I just went for a walk.”
“I got you something.” He pulled a small object wrapped in pink tissue from behind his back.
“What is it?” Her fingers wiggled of their own volition to hold the package that looked so light it could float away.
“Open it and find out.” His grin was mischievous.