Miss Match (27 page)

I am impressed. "Very observant, Stephen. And well, she was, but
we've, uh, I mean they've hit sort of a block as far as moving forward, and
so I'm attempting to push them back together."

"With a blind date."

"Yep,

"Why?"

"Well, remember when you played the Cowardly Lion in high
school?"

He moans. "I had almost gotten that image out of my mind, Laurie.
Thanks."

"I need you to act as boring or disgusting as you possibly can on this
date."

"I don't know, Laurie." Skepticism is reigning in his voice. Hannah
raises her eyebrows at me, wanting to know what's happening. I roll
my eyes.

"Stephen," I say soothingly. "Just one date. You get to be absolutely
revolting so Ruby will go running to Nick as fast as her Slim Fast-filled
legs can carry her. If you don't want to do it, I understand. I'll just have
to find someone else who may not act as well as you do and she might
fall in love with him instead and he'll fall for her because she's officially
beautiful and Nick's poor heart will be crushed into a quadrillion pieces
and he'll move to a lone lake in the middle of Minnesota and spend his
days crying into a root beer and staring at cod."

He's laughing again. "Okay, Laurie, okay! I'll do it." He sighs. "Good
grief, girl, did you not ever take punctuation classes?"

"Thanks, Stephen." I grin and give Hannah the thumbs-up.

"When? Where?"

"Vizzini's. Five o'clock on Wednesday."

"I'll be there."

I have to make sure. "And you'll come revolting?"

"Yes indeed."

I smile again. "Great! I owe you."

"Just start using commas, and I'll consider myself paid off." He hangs up.

Hannah's laughing as I push the off button. "Oh, Laurie, you're
terrible."

I smile and dial again.

"Nick Amery."

"Hey, Nick. It's Laurie."

"Hiya, Laurie. I was actually just thinking about calling you. Bible
study for the junior high girls starts next week."

"Ruby told me. It's on my calendar."

"Well, that's Ruby for you." I don't miss the way his voice warms
slightly when he mentions her name. "So what can I do for you?"

"Well." I clear my throat. "I have been thinking."

"Could be good or bad."

"Funny. Anyway, I decided that you've been single way too long and
I'm going to send you on a blind date."

"Whoa, Laurie. . ."

"Wednesday night," I continue. "Before Bible study."

"Laurie."

"Don't worry, Nick. No strings attached. Just a casual dinner."

"Yeah, but-"

"If you hate it, I won't hold it against you."

"Well, who's it with?"

"Thus the term blind date, Nicky. So. Wednesday, five o'clock at
Vizzini's work for you?"

"I don't know."

I let my voice soften, a sad lull to it. "Nick, I think you need to find
someone who complements you-you know, who has different strengths
and weaknesses. It's just one date. One date. Think about everything I've
done for you, Nick. I brought brownies, I come to your Bible study every
week without fail, I let you rope me into teaching middle school girls, which is something I'm completely nervous about, by the way. Can't you
do one thing for me?" If I were any more pathetic, I'd be whimpering.

He lets out a long breath. "Fine."

"Good! Bye now." I hang up and turn to Hannah. "I am so good at
guilt trips."

She applauds.

Ruby comes through the door. "Hey, girls."

"Hi, Ruby," Hannah and I chime together. I send Hannah a sidelong grin.

Ruby sighs at Hannah. "When's my next appointment?"

"In twenty minutes."

"Okay." She's back to staring out the window.

I look outside. It's dark, dark, dark with low-riding clouds. The snow
that fell all morning has let up for a moment, and black ice streaks across
the parking lot. The trees are bony, and the grass is brown and covered
with icy frost.

It's a gorgeous day to me, but Ruby has always been a summeroriented person. Maybe this is a another reason she's so depressed.

Hannah makes a face at me behind Ruby's back.

"Ruby," I say businesslike. "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh boy," she says, rolling her eyes.

"A little more enthusiasm would be appreciated."

"Oh boy!"

"Thank you." I launch in. "I think you've been single too long."

Ruby lowers her chin and gives me the classic look I got all through
elementary school from my teachers. It's the look that says, Lauren
Holbrook, you have an ace of spades up your sleeve.

"I'd like to send you on a blind date," I continue, pushing my sleeves
up to my elbows to prove her wrong.

Her eyebrows angle toward each other. "Laurie . .

"We met this great guy at Bible study on Wednesday, and we think
you'd be a perfect match." Sure, let's give Hannah half the blame.

Ruby frowns. "Oh?" I can tell she's replaying the last two dates in her
mind. I must establish doubt about Nick.

"Oh," I affirm. "We're setting it up for Wednesday night at five at
Vizzini's."

"Laurie, no. I don't want to go on a date." She shakes her head vehemently. "The last two dates may not have been good, but at least they
were with Nick."

I watch her still shaking her head for a few minutes. The time
has come to play dirty. "Ruby," I say slowly, drawing out her name. "I
think. . ." I sigh here. "I think just based on what you told me about the
dates, ... probably you and Nick have ... well, nothing in common, to
put it bluntly. You said it yourself."

She nods miserably.

"I know you like him and all, but don't you think communication is
kind of an important thing to have?"

Her expression is pitiful. "Yes."

"So see if maybe you have it with someone else. Nick's not the last
guy in the world, you know. And it's not like you couldn't go on the date
and then go back to Nick."

She doesn't answer for a minute, looking out the window, eyes big
and sad. "Okay, I guess. I guess I'll go."

"Good!" I grin brightly.

"What's the guy's name?" She's chewing her bottom lip.

I shake my head. "Can't tell."

"Have I met him before?"

"Maybe," I say mysteriously.

"Wait a second." She freezes. "Who's we?"

"What?"

"You said 'we' met a guy at Bible study," she points out. "Who's
we?"

"Me and Hannah." Hannah waves from behind me.

"Oh dear."

"More enthusiasm, Ruby," I remind her.

"Oh dear!"

Hannah laughs.

"You'll have fun, I promise." I cross my fingers behind my back.

She's pinning me with a stare. "And if I don't?"

"Then I'll make it up to you."

"Oh really?" She leans against the wall and crosses her arms over her
chest. "Now I'm curious. How would you make it up to me?"

"Another blind date?"

"Laurie!"

I hold my hands in a peace gesture. "I don't know. Something
nice."

"Nice," she says dubiously.

"Perfume. Flowers. Those little gourmet chocolates. A puppy."

She walks past me to Studio One, shaking her head. "I just don't
know what to do with you two."

"Love us and hug us and give us Twinkies and take us shopping,"
Hannah bursts out in a little-girl voice.

"Yeah, right!" Ruby yells from inside the studio.

I grin at Hannah.

Brandon comes out of his office and storms to the desk, not looking
at either of us.

"Home wreckers," he mutters, grabbing a chunk of sticky notes from Hannah's desk.

"That's a little harsh," I say.

He narrows his eyes at me. "In my office. Now."

"But-

"No excuses. Get in there."

I sigh. "Hannah, when they get here, tell the Macys I might come
back, and if I don't, I'd like a walnut coffin because I'm allergic to pine."

"Uh ... okay."

I amble down the hall, Brandon close on my heels, into his messy
office.

He closes the door behind him with a vengeance.

I'm flinching. "Is there going to be bloodshed? Because I'd rather not
watch if it's okay with you."

"What is the matter with you? You scheme and scheme and scheme
for weeks to get Ruby and Nick together. You even bake doctored brownies, and you hate to cook!"

"Brandon?"

"You trick them into eating together and talking to each other. You
even have Ruby bake something against her will!"

"Brandon?"

"You've meddled with their emotions and their lives, and I have held
my tongue long enough!"

"Brandon?"

"What!" he yells.

"It's a ploy."

He lowers his hands and looks at me. "What is?"

"The blind date. It's all to get Ruby and Nick serious about each
other." I say this in the nice, soothing, "Okay, kids, time for bed" tone of
voice that Mary Poppins perfected.

He closes his eyes and leans back against his desk. "A ploy." He rubs his hands over his face.

I nod. "Yep."

"Lauren Holbrook. . ."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to die earlier because of you."

I step over and put my arm around his shoulders. "Ah, no you won't.
Just think what great shape your heart is in now." I pat his chest.

He shakes his head as he stares at me. "You've got to stop it,
Laurie."

"Stop what?"

"Matchmaking. You're wrecking my employee's life."

My mouth opens in protest. "I am not!"

"You are too!" He pokes a finger in my face. "You're meddling!"

I smack his finger. "I'm helping. There's a difference. Ruby and Nick
are positively perfect for each other, but they're so awkward that neither
of them is ever going to make the second move, obviously, since she's
thirty-three and he's thirty-four and they've known they liked each other
for this long!"

He frowns at me. "That was quite a run-on sentence."

"So see? Without me, none of this would be happening."

"You promise you won't cause mental problems in either one of
them?"

"Scout's honor."

"You were never a scout, Laurie."

"But I ate the cookies, so that sort of counts." I smile at him. "Don't
tell, please, Brandon? Believe me, it's under control."

He puts his arm around my shoulder. "Remind me why I keep
you around."

"Because you love me."

"Mmm.

"Because you can't live without me."

He rolls his eyes.

"Because life would be boring, gray, and dull, and you'd sit in this
office every day twiddling your thumbs."

He straightens and walks me to the door. "You've got a client
waiting, Laurie."

"Promise you'll keep your hands out of it?" I ask as he shoves me out
the door.

"Fine."

Slam!

"Hey," Hannah greets me when I turn from waving at my clients as they
leave.

"Hey."

"What are you doing for lunch?"

"I don't know. Can you hand me my wallet?"

She digs around in my backpack and emerges with it.

I open it. Three dollars. Wow. All the money I have to my name. At
least in cash.

"I only have three dollars," I tell her.

"`Are we very poor, Lizzie?"' she asks, opening her purse.

"`With Father's estate entailed away from the female line, we've little
but our charms to recommend us,"' I reply, tucking the bills back in my
wallet.

Brandon walks up, making a face. "What?"

"Can I have a raise?" I ask.

"No."

"Oh. Well, can I have five dollars?"

"Why?" He pulls his billfold from his back pocket.

"Because I'm poor." I sniff sadly. Blink a few times.

"`Poor and perfect. With eyes like the sea after a storm . . . Hannah quotes.

Brandon hands me a five-dollar bill. "You guys watch too many
movies."

"Thanks." I tuck the money in my back pocket.

Hannah grins at him. "You can learn a lot about life from
movies."

"Like what?" His voice is filled with unbelief.

"Like how to survive the Fire Swamp." She grabs her purse. "Bud's,
Laurie?"