Missing (30 page)

‘Here,’ her mother said, coming out to hand her another box, ‘I’m not sure where you’re going to put it …’

‘I can always come back next weekend for more,’ Vivienne told her. ‘I’ll just take the important stuff for now.’

Linda was still looking as miserable as she obviously felt. ‘I wish you’d reconsider,’ she said. ‘Caroline shouldn’t have said what she did …’

‘Mum, look at you,’ Vivienne said, glancing over her shoulder and trying to keep her voice down. ‘You’ve been a nervous wreck ever since that detective came, and the press being out here all day has made you worse.’

Linda’s complexion turned even paler.

‘Go to Italy with David,’ Vivienne said firmly. ‘When are you supposed to leave?’

‘Nothing’s actually booked yet,’ Linda replied, ‘but he wants to go soon, he says.’

Feeling too many eyes watching them, Vivienne linked her arm and began walking her up the path. ‘Get out of here for a while,’ she said. ‘It’ll be much easier for you, and frankly for me too. I won’t have to worry about anyone harassing or stressing you.’

‘But how am I going to stop worrying about you?’ Linda wanted to know. ‘And you,’ she added, her face softening with love as a bleary-eyed Rufus came crawling out of the sitting room to find them.

‘Mum mum,’ he said, treating them to a toothy grin.

Vivienne’s heart folded at how happy he always seemed. Please God it would stay that way once he was away from her mother.

‘You’re going to be a good boy for Mummy, aren’t you?’ Linda smiled tearfully as she swung him up in her arms. ‘You’re going to show her how clever you are, and how …’ Her voice wavered and she swallowed. ‘I’m going to miss you, sweetheart,’ she said hoarsely into his neck.

‘Mum, don’t,’ Vivienne protested, as a lump rose in her throat. ‘You’re making it sound as though this is the last time you’ll see him.’

Linda’s watery eyes came to hers. ‘I feel so afraid, Vivi,’ she confessed in a whisper.

Irritation flashed like a pain in Vivienne’s brain. ‘What of?’ she snapped angrily. ‘If Jacqueline’s dead, which is what everyone seems to think, then there’s no reason to be, is there?’

Linda shook her head, but the anguish didn’t fade from her eyes, and Vivienne was still haunted by it an hour and a half later as she steered the Polo into Thames Street towards home.

All the street lamps were on by now, and she noticed several cars parked outside the City Barge as she passed. There didn’t seem to be anyone around though, not even a dog-walker, or anyone on their way to the pub. For some odd reason she started to find the darkness between the street lamps unnerving, as though someone might be standing in the shadows watching her drive by.

Glancing in the rear-view mirror to where Rufus was asleep in his car seat, she felt around the passenger seat for the garage remote and indicated to start pulling in. As the up-and-over door yawned open it let a flood of light into the street that fell over the car like a beacon. A moment later it was as though the light had gone mad as it began flicking and flashing, blinding her with its brightness, dazzling her with its glare.

She wasn’t sure how many photographers had lain in wait, because they’d gone long before the white mass had faded from her eyes. She guessed it was probably only two or three, but what did it matter how many? They’d got what they’d come for – the elusive shot of Miles Avery’s fifteen-month-old son, to feature alongside the one of his missing eleven-month-old half-brother that had made most of the Sundays.

She could only hope now that when Miles saw it, he
would
finally pick up the phone and call, not only to check that she and Rufus were OK, but to let her know how he was too.

The sun hadn’t risen when Justine’s mobile rang on the nightstand next to her, waking her up. After taking a moment to remember where she was, she snaked out an arm and brought the phone back under the bedclothes.

‘This better be good,’ she warned.

‘Justine. It’s Kelsey.’

Justine blinked, then pushed back the blankets. ‘Kelsey?’ she said. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Yes. No. I mean …’ The girl’s voice was broken and nasal. ‘I want to see you,’ she said, sounding angry.

‘Yes, yes, of course,’ Justine responded, starting to get up. ‘When would—’

‘I want you to make my mum come back.’

Justine hesitated, not sure how to reply. ‘Well, I …’

‘You said you could,’ Kelsey cried. ‘You did it before.’

‘Yes, but … Well, that was …’

‘I want her to come back so that everything can be the way it was.’

‘Kelsey, I understand why you’re upset, but …’

‘You said I could call,’ she shouted. ‘Any time, day or night. You said I could talk to you.’

‘Yes, of course. It’s not a problem. Uh, when do you want to meet?’

‘Now. As soon as you can.’

‘Where are you?’

‘In my room, but I can meet you somewhere. There’s a road that goes through the top woods. I can give you directions and meet you there.’

‘But aren’t the woods cordoned off?’

‘That’s a different part,’ Kelsey snapped. ‘Have you got a pen?’

Automatically Justine reached for one. ‘OK, go ahead,’ she said, poised over a phone pad.

After jotting down Kelsey’s instructions, she promised to leave right away, then still feeling vaguely uneasy she rang off.

For several minutes she sat on the edge of the bed staring at the directions, as she tried to think what to do. Something about the girl’s voice, or maybe it was her words – in fact it was both – was bothering her. She’d sounded overwrought and panicky, which was understandable with her mother’s clothes being found, and everything … But the way she’d asked Justine to bring her mother back … Well, it was like she was expecting some kind of resurrection or something.

Quickly turning on the news to find out if there had been more developments overnight, she learned there were none, and went to check her computer. The email she’d forwarded the day before was there in her inbox, complete with attachment, so actually, all things considered, great as an exclusive with Kelsey might be …

She glanced at the time. This was a hard one. A private chat with Miles’s daughter wasn’t an opportunity to be passed up lightly. On the other hand, a delusional teenager with issues raging from the past, and a mother who might turn up dead any minute, probably wasn’t a species to be messed with. She needed to make a decision, though, the email or Kelsey, because it really couldn’t be both.

After the storms through the night the morning had dawned crisply sunny and clear, with a filmy haze
rising
from the wet earth and sparkling shards of light glinting from the branches of russet and brown leaves. Kelsey’s feet were squelching over a slimy ground-sheet of leaves as she paced up and down the lay-by where she’d told Justine to meet her. She’d said eight, but it was now eight thirty and Justine still hadn’t come. She carried on pacing, her heart full of fear, her mind reeling with images too horrible to bear. They’d found her mum’s clothes. Her bag, even her wallet. She couldn’t go anywhere without them, so what had happened to her?

A bolt of panic suddenly sent her sprinting along the road as though she could outrun her worst fear. There were no cars around; the track was so narrow that it was hardly ever used. She didn’t care where she was going, she only wanted to run and run until no one could find her.

‘Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,’ she said over and over, until hearing herself she bunched her hands at her mouth as though to push any more words back. He only wanted Vivienne, and if Kelsey didn’t get away he might try and do the same to her as— ‘No!’ she cried, wrapping her head in her arms. ‘No, no. He didn’t do it. He didn’t.’

On she ran, wanting to escape the memory of her dad telling her about the clothes, and the way he’d said she shouldn’t be afraid, because it didn’t necessarily mean the worst. His voice had been rough and shaky, and his eyes looked sore and dry and full of fear, as though he knew he wasn’t telling the truth. But he wouldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t have done anything wrong, because he was her dad and he didn’t do things like that. But what if he had? Her breath caught on a sob. There was no one she could trust. No one in the
whole
wide world. She wished her brother Sam would come back, because she was sure she’d be able to trust him. It would be just the two of them against the world. He’d take care of her, and she’d never have to be frightened again, because it wouldn’t matter about Vivienne or Rufus or anyone else. It would be just them.

After a while, trembling and panting for breath, she began walking along a woodland trail where mulchy puddles edged the path and sunlight streamed in bright misty bands through the trees. She kept her head down, her blonde hair swinging forward masking her face, her hands tucked tightly into the pockets of her parka.

She had to think what to do. She needed to find her mum and Sam and then she could make everything all right again. Her dad would be happy and not want anyone else. They could be a family, the way her mum had always wanted. Just the four of them.

She walked on and on, faster and faster, not hearing the drip of rain in the trees, or the creaks and cracks of branches. She just kept going, because somewhere at the end was an answer. But then there was nowhere else to go. The path had run out, there were no more trees, and she was staring down at the massive gulf of the estuary. The water glimmered and sparkled like a night of fireworks, the wooded valley in front dipping and swelling around wispy shreds of clouds that drifted like gauze across the treetops.

Looking around, she remembered this was where she used to come with her dad when she was small. They used to bring picnics and tell each other their secrets. Sometimes Grandma and Grandpa would come too. She wished they were here now, because she
really,
really didn’t know what to do, and Grandma always used to know the answer to everything.

In the end, as the sky started to blacken overhead, and sharp swathes of light slanted like fans down to the sea, she sank to her knees, sobbing and retching and hating herself for not having the courage to jump.

‘Kelsey!’

She froze. Then, terrified, she spun round to find a man coming towards her. The sun was blinding her – she couldn’t see who it was.

‘It’s all right, me old love,’ he said, ‘it’s just me. Tom. No need to be afraid.’

Kelsey blinked, but though she recognised their gardener’s voice, she still couldn’t make herself register who it was.

She watched him come closer, thinking it might be her grandpa about to emerge from the light, but then she saw who it was and looked up into Tom’s crinkly old face.

‘There, there,’ he said, edging close enough to take her in his arms. ‘No need to cry like that now. Old Tom has got you.’

Kelsey was too distraught to speak. She could only let him hold her tight to his earthy-smelling coat and rock her from side to side. It felt good, and safe, and she wanted to stay with him for ever.

‘There, you’m all right now,’ Tom said, in his throaty burr. ‘Wondered where on earth you was off to, I did. That time of the morning. Thought I’d better foller.’

Kelsey tried to reply, but her chest was racked with sobs and her throat was too tight.

‘Come on,’ he said, starting to lead her back along the trail. ‘You’m nice and safe now. Old Tom’s got you,
so
we’ll just give yer dad a ring, shall we, and let him know you’re all right.’

Miles was waiting at the gate behind the house, barely noticing the icy cut to the wind as he watched Tom bringing Kelsey down through the back field. His failure to shield her from the worst of what was happening was almost tearing him apart. He understood the depths of her fear, he could almost feel it as his own, but while he wanted to rage against a world that was recklessly planting such terrible suspicions, he knew that his anger would only frighten her more.

As they drew closer he could see her face, blotched and swollen and so heart-rendingly unsure. Her eyes were wide and haunted, and as she looked at him he doubted he’d ever felt more impotent or anxious in his life. What was he going to say to try and put her fears to rest? How was he going to explain, or soothe, or make any difference to the dreadful turmoil inside her? He needed desperately to reach her, to return somehow to the place he’d always held in her trust, but if her barriers were still up, if she was still bent on protecting herself …

Pushing open the gate he kept his eyes on hers, then to his unutterable relief she broke free of Tom and ran into his arms.

‘Daddy,’ she sobbed, as he scooped her up and buried his face in her hair. ‘Daddy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to run away. I just got so frightened …’

‘Sssh, it’s all right,’ he told her softly, holding her tight and struggling to prevent his own tears. ‘Just as long as you’re here.’

Her arms and legs stayed round him, clinging to
him
the way she had as a child, and not wanting to let her go he clung to her too.

After a while his eyes met Tom’s and he nodded his thanks for the old man’s quick thinking when he’d spotted Kelsey running along the top lane. Wasting no time he’d gone after her, calling Miles on his mobile to let him know what was happening. At that point Miles hadn’t even known she’d left her room.

When finally they were back in the house warming themselves next to the Aga, he smoothed the hair back from her face as he said, ‘I won’t ask where you were going, or what you were doing, I’m just going to swear to you that none of the rumours are true.’

Her shoulders jerked on a sob. ‘I know,’ she said shakily. ‘I mean, in here,’ she touched her chest, ‘I know, but sometimes I get really scared. It’s like everyone’s going to leave me, or no one really cares about me …’

‘Don’t
ever
think that,’ he said, wrapping her in his arms again. ‘You’re my world, and if anything should happen to you …’ His voice cracked with emotion as the mere thought of it overwhelmed him.

She stayed close to him, holding him tight, as though afraid to let go. In the end, with her face still buried in his shoulder she said, ‘Can it be just us, Dad? Please. I mean, if Mum’s—’ She broke off and he felt her tensing ready for his reply.