Missing Rose (9781101603864) (10 page)

28

D
IANA SAT DOWN
on one of the stools. There were still five minutes left until the time set by Zeynep Hanim for the lesson. The wooden fence around the garden was taller than Diana, preventing her from seeing over it. In contrast to the high fence, the door to the garden was exceptionally low.

Her eyes were fixed on the minute hand of her watch, her mind busy wondering what the mathematics of hearing roses could mean. However far she stretched her imagination, she had no idea what the content of this bizarre mathematics lesson might be.

The moment the hand of her watch touched eleven minutes past the hour, she heard Zeynep Hanim's voice:

“It's not something you can grasp with your intellect.”

Diana smiled to conceal her feeling of surprise. Despite the way it appeared, she didn't think Zeynep Hanim could have read her mind. What else would a person be wondering about other than the lesson, waiting here at this crazy hour, counting the minutes before being taught how to hear roses?

“If it's something my intellect can't grasp, then you tell me what hearing roses is all about.”

“Have you ever eaten an olive?” Zeynep Hanim asked.

“Of course. Why?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could explain to me what an olive tastes like. Let's make a deal: if you can describe to me the taste of an olive, I'll describe to you what it's like to hear a rose.”

“Very well,” Diana said. “An olive . . . it's . . . it's salty . . . Well . . . it's like . . . oily . . . tastes like . . . Well . . . it's kind of strong . . . It's like . . .”

Zeynep Hanim wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, I've got a salty, oily, strong taste in my mouth. Fortunately I've eaten olives before, otherwise, after your description, I would never try them.”

“Okay, okay, you win,” Diana said.

“Well, let's put the taste of an olive or hearing roses aside for now, and before we step into the garden, let's get this math lesson out of the way, shall we?”

“Please, go ahead. I'm listening.”

“The Mathematics of Hearing Roses is a lesson that must certainly be studied by everyone, whether one believes in the art of hearing roses or not. Simply because the equation you'll learn in this lesson is applicable to any question that has an innumerable number of possible answers but that can't be answered by any of our five senses. Say, for example, a question such as ‘What happens after death?'

“Now, before we're tempted to give an answer to such a question, we should bear this equation in mind: one divided by infinity (1/
). I'll take that up in a minute. But first, tell me, do you hear the song the roses are singing right now?”

“You know perfectly well that I can't hear any such thing.”

“Which song are they singing, Diana?”

“I told you, I don't hear anything.”

“Come on, just make a guess. Perhaps you'll hit on the right one.”

Realizing that Zeynep Hanim wasn't going to let it go, Diana said, “All right, fine. They're singing ‘Purple Rain.'”

“Do you think you guessed the right answer?”

“Of course not.”

“I'll give you one more chance. Take another shot.”

“Fine. ‘Ya Rayah' by Rachid Taha?”

“Do you think you have it right this time?”

“Of course not. May I ask what you're getting at?”

“Now, let's test your knowledge of statistics a little. So, tell me, what are the chances of you ever guessing the right song?”

“Next to nothing.”

“Exactly. Dividing the number of songs being sung by the number of possible answers gives us the probability of arriving at the correct song by means of guessing. The number of songs being sung is one. If you think of the songs which have been written all over the world for thousands of years, in hundreds of languages, by millions of songwriters, the number of possibilities can be counted in the trillions. And if we add to that number the songs which haven't yet been written but which are known to the roses, then we can say that we have an infinite number of possible answers. In that case, the probability of arriving at the correct song is the number one divided by infinity. And that's the equation we have to know before we can learn how to hear roses. So, what's one divided by infinity?”

“Zero, as far as I remember.”

“Right, but if it were the usual zero, this would mean there was absolutely no chance that anyone could know which song the roses were singing. So, one over infinity equals a special zero.”

“Special zero?”

“I'm sure your knowledge of mathematics is greater than mine, Diana. But I'd still like to briefly go over the mathematical value of this equation with you.

“Let's take any equation, one over some number . . . As the number by which one is divided increases, the number of zeros preceding one also increases in the answer to the equation. If we divide one by infinity, in the answer there will be an infinite number of zeros in front of one. So, the answer would read as zero point zero zero zero, all the way to infinity. But even if we don't see it, there's always a one remaining at the far end of the answer. It's zero, yet a special zero that ends with a one, even if it's concealed in infinity.

“Now, this is very important. While the equation tells us that the probability of knowing the correct song by means of guessing is zero, it hints that it's not impossible to arrive at the correct answer, because there's a one at the end.

“When I asked you what song the roses were singing, you responded in the best way by saying you didn't know. Why? Because you knew that you couldn't know. You were able to see that, by means of guessing, it would be pointless to try to answer a question which has innumerable possible answers and which can't be answered by using the five senses.

“So the Real Song can't be arrived at by the mere guesses of the intellect, but only by way of
witnessing
. First, we have to understand that we hear roses not with our ears but with our hearts.

“At birth, everyone's heart has this ability. But hearts grow deaf as time goes by. Those who wish to witness roses singing must first regain this ability, which we lose when we are being taught to become a grown-up. And the only way to regain this is by maintaining a constant interest in the roses and caring for them.

“Perhaps we may not hear the roses on our first visits to the garden. But we must never lose hope. First and foremost, a lack of certitude, along with any other negative thoughts or feelings, are our enemies in the garden.

“Imagine a mountain . . . From the top of this mountain, the view is wonderful. You want to be there, but the summit seems so far away that you lose hope of reaching it. You give up, saying, ‘I'll never get there.'

“The truth is, the footsteps of those who reached the top were no bigger than yours. But they'd just gone on putting those small footsteps one after the other. It's not miracles that make the impossible happen, it's perseverance. This is how water wears away rocks, and this is how people of the twenty-first century hear roses sing.

“If we believe we're capable of hearing them, and if we persevere, then sooner or later we will. It is possible because there's always a one hidden at the end of the zeros. And if we follow the path of nothingness till infinity, we'll definitely reach that One.”

“What if the roses don't talk at all?” Diana said. “Or they don't sing any songs? Let me tell you the probability of that. If the number of songs the roses sing is zero, the equation becomes zero divided by infinity, and that is equal to zero. And this time, it isn't a special zero but a simple fat zero. Which means there's no song and no possibility of hearing roses.”

“True,” Zeynep Hanim said. “Two paths. One begins and ends here and now, the other stretches out into infinity. In answering the question, ‘Do roses sing?' or ‘Can I hear roses?' we choose one of these two paths. These questions have only two possible answers: ‘Yes' or ‘No.' There isn't a third answer. For those who say ‘Yes,' the solution to the equation is the special zero; whereas for those who say ‘No,' it's—as you said—a simple fat zero. That's why there's no possibility for those who say ‘No' to ever hear roses sing. This isn't what they're aiming for anyway. For them, it's enough that they hear the sound frequencies picked up by the ear. Any sound beyond that is of no interest to them.”

“But who's to decide which answer is right?” Diana asked.

“It doesn't matter which answer is right, Diana. What's important is what you yourself believe in. Ask yourself; say, ‘Which do I believe in?' It's as easy as that. If your answer is ‘I can't hear roses,' well, that's okay. Nobody can blame you for that. There have to be those who don't believe in order for there to be those who do believe. Day exists because there's night, and night exists because there's day. Instead of asking, ‘Which one is more beautiful, day or night?' ask yourself which one you live in. Ask yourself, ‘Do I believe I can hear roses?'

“But you must ask yourself this question. Because if you're sure the answer is ‘No,' then you don't ever need to enter the garden. You'll be spared from the difficulties, disappointments and failures you'll face there. To begin with, you won't have to listen to me. You'll not have to spend days, months, maybe years, waiting in front of a rose, hoping to hear it speak. Everything will be much easier, much more comfortable. For example, instead of getting up early to come to the garden, you can stay in bed sleeping for as long as you wish. What do you think, wouldn't that be much more enjoyable?”

Zeynep Hanim paused for a second before she added, “Actually, that would depend on whether you believe you can hear roses or not. Just imagine, for someone who believes that roses can be heard, which would be more enjoyable: sleeping, or awakening with the hope of hearing the roses sing?

“So, Diana, are you one of those who say, ‘Yes, I can hear roses'?”

Zeynep Hanim waited some time for Diana's answer, which never came.

“I knew it,” Zeynep Hanim said. “The answer you gave is the reason why you're here.”

“But I didn't give an answer.”

“I heard the answer I needed to hear. Sometimes silence is more convincing than a hundred spoken promises.”

Diana remained silent.

“However, believing that roses sing isn't sufficient to know the song they are singing. There are only two ways of knowing what the actual song is. Either you hear it yourself or learn it from someone who does.

“It's much better to hear it yourself, though. Roses have a divine voice. They draw you out of yourself, take you to their world and bring you back permeated with rose scent. This scent then no longer originates from the roses but from within yourself; because you have finally come to realize what it means to be responsible for your rose.”

“Wait a minute,” Diana said. “That's just the phrase Mary used in the farewell letter to her father. She wrote that she was leaving home because she'd finally understood what it meant to be responsible for a rose. She must have been thinking of coming to you when she wrote that letter. That's why she must have left home.”

“I don't think so,” Zeynep Hanim said. “Mary would know that she didn't need to leave home, even for the sake of the rose garden.”

For a moment, Diana sat lost in thought. Then she said, “In her letters, Mary described you as ‘Someone Who Knows.' There's something I want to know, Zeynep Hanim. It's something beyond the scope of the five senses, but it has nothing to do with roses.”

“It's about your mother, isn't it?”

“How did you know?”

“Mary wanted to know the same thing. Do as Mary did. While she was here, she prayed to God to give her news of her mother. Even if no one else does, God knows what happened to your mother. Ask and He will answer. Even if you don't hear God, He hears you.”

Diana looked unconvinced.

“God doesn't leave us unanswered, Diana, especially not someone who's sincerely and wholeheartedly waiting for news of her mother. God's greatness will not allow those He has created to remain uninformed of themselves or of God Himself. Some people believe God is too great and too exalted to involve Himself in our daily lives. On the contrary, it's because He is so great and exalted that He is involved in even the least of our affairs.”

Zeynep Hanim's eyes shone. “He does concern Himself with us, Diana, He does. And in the best way. He takes an interest in Diana, in Mary, in Zeynep. In each of us, personally and individually. He is always with us, but to realize this, we, too, have to be with Him. Mary felt God was always taking care of her, that's why she asked Him about her mother.”

“I also asked,” Diana said. “I prayed to God so many times for news of my mother. I pleaded with Him, but I never received a reply. I'm sorry, but God does leave us unanswered.”