Mistaken Identity (20 page)

“Twenty years ago, my dad started the business,” he begins. “Mom would take me there to work when I was fifteen. I’d clean the floors and take out the trash, eventually, through the years, he moved me from one position to the next. When I said I worked my butt off saving pennies, I wasn’t lying. Dad started me at the bottom, making me learn the ins and outs of the entire company, always telling me that a good manager, a good owner, knows every detail and can do anyone’s job. I wasn’t handed this job, I worked my ass off to earn it.” He shakes his head then continues, “As for my house, I was given the land as a present for graduating high school. It sat there for about five years before I decided to build a house on it. I knew it would be where I spent the rest of my life, so I worked with architects designing it. Planning it and building it, that all came out of my pocket.”

“Right before I built the house, I was in a serious relationship with a girl named Kayla. I thought I was going to marry that girl,” he chuckles shaking his head again, “but we grew apart. I worked a lot, secretly trying to save money to buy her a ring. Apparently I didn’t give her one fast enough and she didn’t like that Dad wasn’t just handing out money to me to keep up with her needs. We mutually decided that it wasn’t working out and we split. I knew after that, I never wanted to get that close to anyone again. That pain was unbearable for a while. She caught wind that I was building a house and she came back. I knew why, and she had already burned me, so I told her to leave even though it hurt.” He pauses and takes a slow sip of his beer. “The rumor mill in this town is horrible. After Kayla, it seemed like every woman was out for my money. It got worse when dad named me CEO. I had women basically falling at my feet. They all wanted fancy things, the jewelry, the money, I’m not an idiot, I knew they wanted it. If I didn’t drive my car some wouldn’t go on dates, so it became routine. I was in my twenties with raging hormones, so I took advantage of the situation.”

When he said he wanted to clear the air, I didn’t know he wanted to take me through Whore-mone Lane. My stomach is heavy, my heart pounding. I feel disgusted at the thought that I was one of those “situations” he took advantage of. The overwhelming urge to puke or cry hits me like a ton of bricks and I become fidgety, shaking my leg trying to focus on anything but.

“My retreat isn’t so relaxing now,” he continues, “it’s a constant reminder of you. My bed smells of you. The images of you standing in my living room, sitting in the hot tub, sprawled across the bed hugging a pillow—they’re etched in my brain. This is why I got the apartment. I didn’t want to share my house with anyone in fear of ruining my retreat. I don’t mean you ruined it, but I’m saying it’s a constant reminder of you.”

I focus on my beer label, sitting in silence and having a complete emotional sensory overload. To know he’s been miserable does something evil inside of my mind. I’m happy he’s hurt. Glad he can’t sleep. Now he knows how I feel.

“How did someone get all those pictures of you and the women?” I ask. The thought of them makes my skin crawl.

“I think it was about five years ago, someone suspected me of illegal actions within the company and they hired a PI. He followed me around and unfortunately they caught what they caught. I assure you I wasn’t doing anything illegal. Dad caught wind through the rumor mill and we hired our own detective. It ended up being the man who was replaced by Adam. We settled outside of court and were repaid about a quarter of what he stole from us. I had no part of it. The company is Dad’s love, outside of Mom, and I won’t let anything happen to it. Now who still has access to those pictures is unbeknownst to be. I thought they were sealed up inside a cardboard box somewhere.”

“Is that why you didn’t seem worried about them?”

“I was more worried about the damage it caused between us. The events around the time when the pictures were taken are old news to me.”

Pushing my mind for more, I rack my brain of everything I’ve ever wanted to know. I have a mental filing cabinet that is overflowing.

“Did you move Jeff?” Since he told me about his
new
position, I’ve wondered if Tanner had something to do with it.

He closes his eyes and lets out a short puff of air. “Busted on that one. You confessed to me how creepy the guy was and how uncomfortable he made you, so I pulled some strings and moved him, which actually seems to be working better for him. He wouldn’t have lasted long in the position HR hired him for because you have your own way of doing things and he would’ve gotten in your way. After he was moved, HR reviewed everything you were doing and questioned Adam about your performance, that’s when they decided to let you handle all of his affairs yourself. Before you jump to conclusions, Adam has a reputation of running off assistants with his overwhelming workload. They didn’t want the chance of another turnover and you handle him with ease.”

I had thousands of questions for him when we were on the way here, but now after the unload he just gave me, I’m at a loss for words. His house, the women, the pictures, how he became CEO, Jeff…it’s a lot to take in.

“I didn’t set up the meeting either,” he adds to the scramble in my mind. “I knew Adam was coming, but he rarely brings you with him. When you walked in the room, I died a thousand times.”

“I couldn’t tell it,” I say.

“Samantha, in business, you learn to keep your composure in any situation, but I had an extremely hard time focusing because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.” He smirks.

“You stared at me the whole meeting.”

“I did. It’s been weeks since I’ve laid eyes on you, and not knowing when I would see you again, I was soaking it up.”

“Why me, Tanner?” I blurt out, surprising us both. I have nothing to offer him. He’s completely out of my league.

“I’ve told you already, there’s something about you. I knew I wanted to be with you on the first night standing on your doorstep when you told me you didn’t do fancy. I knew you were different. For a woman to say that outright, it speaks magnitudes to me. Then you confirmed my feelings more when you stopped me on the couch.” He looks down at the table. With the glow in his eye, I know he’s reminiscing about that day. If he only knew just how badly I wanted him, but I do have more respect for myself. I’m not wired to be easy. “Have I answered all your questions?” he yanks me out of my imaginary frolic on the couch.

“I have so many I don’t know,” I mumble.

“If you think of any more, just ask. Now may I ask you something?”

“I didn’t come here to answer any of your questions,” I retort.

“As you wish.” He throws his hands up giving me a shit eating grin.

He’s smiling because he knows curiosity is going to control me. I turn my attention back to my empty beer bottle, but there’s no use. “What did you want to ask?”

He laughs softly but straightens up quick when he sees I’m not excited about his victory. “Do you still love me, or is that botched up too?”

“You’re not someone I can get over quickly,” I mumble.

“Samantha, that wasn’t the question,” he gruffs.

“That’s putting me on the spot!” I snap.

His head tilts to the side obviously annoyed at my roundabout answer, “And?” he adds.
What the hell?

Knowing that to tear out the stitches on my heart and openly admit I still love him is a bad idea, I make a hasty try to change the subject. “Have you seen any of those women, or added to your list?”

He jerks back surprised I asked, hurt swelling in his eyes, “No, I haven’t. I haven’t dated or been with anyone since I saw you at the club.”

“You were watching me that night at the club weren’t you?” I continue to deflect the seriousness of all this.

I just witnessed his well-defined cheeks turn red. Tanner—confident, composed Tanner—blushes. Who would have thought it?

“I spotted you and Jess the moment you walked in the door. Of course I can’t dance to that type of music without looking like a damned idiot, so I waited patiently. I saw you head for the bar, and I took the opportunity to see how you were outside of work. I only knew the shy girl who couldn’t look at me in the elevator. I was determined to be with you that night.”

“Why?”

“If I could explain it, I would. It’s not something I, myself, can even understand. Look, I feel we’re trailing on a vicious cycle right now. I wanted you from day one, you won me over, you have my heart, I’ve not seen anyone else, and I want to be with you.”

“I have one more question and I’ll be done.” He nods, clearly annoyed but I don’t care. I continue anyway, “That Sunday you left me at your house telling me you had things to take care of, what did you do?”

“Two things actually. One of them included eliminating the apartment. The second was playing golf with a prospective client.”

I accept the elimination of the apartment without asking questions, but I begin laughing picturing him swing a golf club, “You play golf?”

“If you want to call it that,” he laughs at himself.

We laugh for a few moments. It feels good to laugh, even better that it’s with him. He studies my expression, then drops his eyes to my fidgeting hand. “I do.” I finally answer his question from earlier.

Excitement washes over his face, then he falters back into a collected manner. “Samantha, please tell me what I can do to make everything right.”

“I don’t know, Tanner. You’ve belittled me by not trusting me, assuming I was like all the other women, when you, yourself have said multiple times that I’m different. We moved forward in our relationship, and still you continued to lie. Tell me how I could ever learn to trust you again.”

“Do you believe everything I’ve said tonight?” I nod. “Well, it seems you’re learning then.” There’s hope in his voice.

“You’re an ass,” I roll my eyes at him. “I need to get home.”

“You have a day off tomorrow,” he reminds me.

“Oh, and that’s another thing. I’m not comfortable with that, I can’t date the boss.”

He throws his hands up shaking his head, “Why not?”

“Because it’s wrong. People will start to talk and assume I have an advantage.” I state the obvious. I can see people heckling me, whispering and pointing as I walk past them, calling me a whore because I’m the boss’ girlfriend assuming I’m sleeping my way to the top.

“I’ll find you another job then.” He snaps me out of my vicious thoughts.

“No! I love my job.”

“Can we just deal with that when it comes?” He grins ear to ear and his eyes widen, “Does this mean—”

“No. We’re not.” I wash away his excitement, but it becomes replaced with the knowing smile.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” He asks and I raise my eyebrow at him. “Nothing involved. I won’t try anything, I promise. I just want to hold you. I miss the feeling and it will help you think.” His crystal blues darken with mischief.

I know this is a bad idea, but I can’t refuse it. I’ve missed him. “You won’t try anything?”

“Not at all.” That smile right there is why he makes me weak.

Chapter 32

The sunlight blinds me and I scrunch my face when I open my eyes. By how bright my room is, I know it’s later in the morning. Crap! I’m late for work. I jerk around to wake Tanner, but I’m surprised that where he laid with me wrapped in his arms is cold and bodiless. His pillow, where he rested his head as we talked into the early hours of morning, has a note on it.

You look too peaceful to wake. Enjoy your day off. I’ll leave you to think about things and I won’t bother you. There’s coffee in the pot, just warm it up.

I’m mixed with emotions. I told him I was going to work today, even repeated myself before I fell asleep allowing his heartbeat to lull me away. But how can I be mad at him when he’s made me coffee? A man after my heart…literally.

My apartment that usually holds Jess and Marty since our split now seems empty, too empty, leaving my thoughts to intrude. He was so open and sincere last night, telling me things I know had to make him uncomfortable. Shit they made me uncomfortable to hear them. Confused at what I should do, I call Jess hoping to have lunch with her.

“Tanner stayed with me last night,” I tell her.

“I know. He was up before I left. He talked to me some about you, even apologized to me. Felt strange getting an apology from the boss,” she whispers.

“He apologized to you?”

“He said because you and I are so close, he knew he hurt me too. It took everything I had not to hug his neck. It was so sweet.”

“Wanna do lunch and I tell you about everything last night?”

“Sounds good, where at?”

We decide on a place and I head to my room to make up my bed and get ready. I pull my covers up to the pillows and something small and black catches my eyes. I gasp at the box that holds the necklace he gave me while we dated. I find another note when I open it, this one folded and tucked neatly inside.

I bought this for you. Whether or not I ever see you again, what you’re doing right this moment is the reason why you have it. You hold the key to my heart. I can’t take back what I’ve done, but I would like to begin new. I’m leaving that up to you. You know where I stand, but I won’t blame you if you decide not to. Think about it on your day off. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you, Samantha Beckman.