Mistress Pat (24 page)

For a year things went beautifully at Silver Bush. Everybody was happy. Mother was better than she had been for a long time. Sid seemed to have recovered his good spirits and was taking a keen interest in everything again. Gossip no longer coupled his name with any girl's and Pat saw her old dream of living always at Silver Bush with Sid taking vague shape again. It was just like it used to be. They planned and joked and walked in faint blue twilights and Sid told her everything, and together they bullied Long Alec and Tillytuck when any difference of opinion came up. Between them they managed to get Silver Bush repainted, although Long Alec hated any extra expense as long as there was a mortgage on it. But Silver Bush looked beautiful…so white and trig and prosperous with its green shutters and trim. It warmed the cockles of Pat's heart just to look at it. And to hear Sid say once, gruffly, on their return one winter evening from a long prowl back to their Secret Field,

“You're a good old scout, Pat. I don't know what I'd have done without you these past two years.”

“Oh, Sid!” Pat could only say that as she rubbed her face against his shoulder. This was one of life's good moments. They had had such a wonderful walk. It had been lovely back in the woods. It was after the first snowfall and the woods were at peace in a white transfiguration, placidly still and calm, where the thick ranks of the young saplings were snow-laden and an occasional warm golden shaft of light from the low-hanging sun pierced through, tingeing the dark bronze-green of the spruces and the grayish-green streams of moss with vivid beauty. They had come home by way of Happiness, where Jordan was crooning to itself under the ice. The old pastures, which had been so beautiful and flowery in June, were cold and white now, but Pat loved them, as she loved them in all moods.

She lingered at the gate to taste her happiness after Sid had gone on to the barn. It was going to be a night of frost and silver. To her right the garden was hooding itself in the shadows of dusk. Pat loved to think of all her staunch old flowers under the banks of snow, waiting for spring. Far away a dim hill came out darkly against a winter sunset. Beyond the dyke was a group of old spruces which Long Alec often said should be cut down. But Pat pleaded for them. Seen in daylight they
were
old and uncomely, dead almost to the top, with withered branches. But seen in this enchanted light, against a sky that began by being rosy-saffron and continued in silver green, and ended in crystal blue, they were like tall, slender witch women weaving spells of necromancy in a rune of olden days. Pat felt a stirring of her childish desire to share in their gramarye…to have fellowship in their twilight sorceries.

Off to her left the orchard was white and still, heaped with drifts along the fences. Over it all was a delicate tracery of shadow where the trees stood up lifeless in seeming death and sorrow. But it was only seeming. The life-blood was in their hearts and by and by it would stir and they would clothe themselves in bridal garments of young green leaves and pink blossoms, and lush grass would wave where the snow was now lying and golden buttercups dance among it. Spring always came again…she must never forget that.

Silver Bush looked very beautiful in the faint beginning moonlight…her own dear Silver Bush. It still welcomed her…it was still hers, no matter what changes came and went. Life seemed to have put on a new meaning now that Sid had come back to her in their old companionship. She pulled his love about her like a cloak and felt warm and satisfied.

Rae had settled down to filling a hope chest and writing daily letters of portentous length to Brook Hamilton. She was changed…more gentle, thoughtful, womanly. There was no more pretending to be hard-boiled. Love, Sid told her teasingly, did mellow people remarkably. The old flippancy was gone, though she laughed as much as ever and never had her laughter, thought adoring Pat, been so exquisite.

Pat had resigned herself to the fact of Rae's engagement. But she would not be getting married for at least three years. They had those years to look forward to…years, dreamed Pat, of companionship and plans and all the dear intimacies of home.

Winter slipped away…spring and summer passed. September wore a golden moon like a ring and again autumn brewed a cup of magic and held it to your lips. Only Tillytuck secretly thought it rather slow. The beaus came no longer, since Rae was known to be bespoken and Pat, so it was said, thought no one good enough for her.

“Life is getting a bit tedious here, Judy,” he said, mournfully. “There doesn't seem to be as much glamour, romantically speaking.”

Perhaps Judy thought so, too. She sighed…it was not like Judy to sigh. Pat would have another birthday in a week…and not a beau in sight. Even David, Judy had decided, had really no serious intentions, and she hated him for it as sincerely as if she had never disapproved of him. She did not want Pat to marry him, but that was for Pat to decide, not for him. As for Jingle, there never was any word of his coming home for a visit.

“He's grown away from us, Judy. We're only memories to him now. He has his own work and his own ambitions. Even his letters aren't just what they used to be.”

Pat hadn't seemed to care. She was more taken up with Silver Bush than ever and she and Sid were “thick as thieves” again. Which was all to the good, as far as it went. To be sure, of late weeks, Sid had taken to gallivanting again. Nobody could find out where he was going although Judy had certain uneasy suspicions she never breathed to anyone. Judy sighed again as she clapped her baked beans and bacon in the oven. Then she brightened up. Every one needed a liddle bite once in so often and as long as she, Judy Plum, could provide it there was balm in Gilead.

A week later Judy looked back to that day and wondered if what had happened had been a judgment on her for thinking life had got a bit dull. For Pat's birthday had come and that evening Sid had brought May Binnie in and announced, curtly and defiantly, and yet with such a pitiful, beaten look on his face, that they had been married that day in Charlottetown.

“We thought we'd surprise you,” said May, glancing archly about her out of bold, brilliant eyes. “Birthday surprise for you, Pat.”

Pat sat up all that night, looking out over the quiet, unchanged fields of the farm, trying to look this hideous fact in the face. She was in the Poet's room and she had locked the door. She would not even have Rae with her.

She could not yet believe that this had happened. At first one cannot believe in a monstrous thing. Can one ever believe it? It was a dream…a nightmare. She would waken presently. She must…or go mad.

She had been so happy that evening at twilight…so unusually, inexplicably happy, as if the gods were going to give her some wonderful gift…and now she would never be happy again. Pat was still young enough to think that when a thing like this happened you could never be happy again. Everything…
everything…
had changed in the twinkling of an eye. Sid was lost to her forever. The very fields she had loved now looked strange and hostile as she gazed on them. “Our inheritance is turned to strangers and our house to aliens.” She had read that verse in her Bible chapter two nights ago and shivered over the picture of desolation it presented. And now it had come true in her own life…her life that a few hours ago had seemed so full and beautiful and was now so ugly and empty.

It had been such a ghastly hour. Nobody knew what to say or do. Pat's face seemed to wither as she looked at them…at May, flushed and triumphant under all her uneasiness, at Sid, sullen and defiant. May tried to carry the situation off brazenly, after the true Binnie fashion.

“Come, Pat, don't look so snooty,
I'm
willing to let bygones be bygones, even if you and I
have
hated each other all our lives.”

This was only too true but it was terrible to have the feeling dragged into light as nakedly as this. Pat could not answer. She turned away as if she had neither seen nor heard May and walked blindly out of the room. The only feeling she was keenly conscious of just then was a sick desire to get away from the light into a dark place where no one could see her…where she could hide like a wounded animal. May looked after her and her bold handsome face flushed crimson under Pat's utter disregard. Her black eyes held a flame that was not good to see. But she laughed as she turned to Sid.

“She'll get over it, honey-boy. I never expected a warm welcome from Pat, you know.”

Rae alone kept her head. Neither mother nor father must be told till morning, she reflected. As for Judy and Tillytuck, they seemed stricken dumb. Tillytuck slipped off to his granary shaking his head and Judy climbed to her kitchen chamber, feeling, for the time at least, more crushed and cowed than ever in her life before.

“I've felt it coming,” she muttered, as she crept into bed forlornly. “I've been hearing he was going wid the bold young hussy. And Gintleman Tom knew it was coming, that he did. That was why he lit out like the knowing baste he was. He knew he cud niver be standing a Binnie. Oh, oh, if I did be knowing as much av magic as me grandmother I'd change her into a toad that I wud. What'll be coming av it the Good Man Above only knows. One does be thinking the world cud be run a bit better. I'm fearing this will break Patsy's heart.”

All the rest of her life Pat knew she had left girlhood behind her on that dreadful night. Hope seemed to be blotted out entirely. Already the hours that had passed seemed like an eternity and tomorrow…all the tomorrows…would be just as bad. Her mind went round and round in a miserable circle and got nowhere. May Binnie living at Silver Bush…Silver Bush overrun with Binnies…they were a clannish crew in their way. Old Mr. Binnie who ate peas with his knife and old Mrs. Binnie who always sopped her bread in her gravy. And all the slangy, loud-voiced crew of them, the kind of people before whom you must always say everything over to yourself beforehand to be sure it was safe. What a crowd for Sid to have got himself mixed up with! No, it could not be faced.

Pat wouldn't go down when morning came…couldn't. For the first time in her life she was a shirker. She could hear them talking beneath her at the breakfast-table. She could hear May's desecrating laugh. She clenched her hands in fury and wretchedness. She pulled down the blind and shut out a world that was too glad with its early sunshine and its purple mists.

Presently Rae came in…trim, alert, competent. Her blue eyes showed no traces of the tears she had shed in the night.

“Pat, I left you alone last night because I realized that a thing like this had much better be talked over in the morning.”

“What is the use of talking it over any time?” asked Pat listlessly.

“We must talk it over because we have to face the situation, Pat. There is no use in turning our back on it or squinting at it out of the corners of our eyes…or ignoring it. Let's just get down to real things and look to the future.”

“But I can't face it…Rae, I
can't
,” cried poor Pat desperately. “Talk about the future! There isn't any future! If it had been anybody but May Binnie! I'm not the little fool I once was. I've known for long that Sid would marry sometime. Even when I couldn't help hoping he wouldn't I knew he would. But May Binnie!”

“I know. I know as well as you do that Sid has made a dreadful mistake and will realize it all too clearly someday. I know May is cheap and common and has no background…kitchen-bred, as Judy would say…but…”

“How could he do it? How could he like
her…
after Bets…even after poor Dorothy?”

“May is alluring in her own way, Pat.
We
can't see it but the men do. And she has always meant to get Sid. We've just got to make the best of it and take things as they come.”

“I won't,” said Pat rebelliously. “They may
have
to come but I haven't got to take them without protest. I'll never reconcile myself to this…never.”

“‘Today that seems so long, so strange, so bitter

Will soon be some forgotten yesterday,'”

quoted Rae softly.

“It won't,” said Pat dismally.

“I've been doing some talking already this morning,” went on Rae. “For one thing I broke the news to dad.”

“And he…what did he…”

“Oh, there were fireworks. The Gardiner temper flared up. But I know how to manage dad. I told him he had to take a reasonable view of it for mother's sake. When he calmed down he and I worked it out. Sid and May will have to live here for a year or two, until the mortgage is cleared. Then dad will build a house for them on the other place and they can live there.”

“And in the meantime,” said Pat passionately, “life will be unlivable at Silver Bush…you know it will.”

“I don't know anything of the sort. Of course it won't be as pleasant as it has been. But, Pat, you know as well as I do that we've got to make the best of it for mother's sake.”

“Does she know?”

“Yes. Dad told her. I funked
that
.”

“And how…how did she take it?”

“How does mother take anything? Just like the gallant lady she is! We mustn't fail her, Pat.”

Pat groped out a hand, found Rae's and squeezed it. Somehow their ages seemed reversed. It was as if Rae were the older sister.

“I'll do my best,” she choked. “There's a verse in the Bible somewhere…‘be of good courage'…I've always thought it a wonderful phrase. I suppose it was meant just for times like this. But oh, Rae, how
can
we live with May? Her habits…her ideals…her point of view about everything…are so different from ours.”

“She must have some good points,” said Rae reasonably. “She's really popular in her own set. Everybody says she is a good worker.”

“We have no work for her to do here,” said Pat bitterly.

“You know, Pat, nothing is ever quite so dreadful in reality as in anticipation. We must just look
around
this. It's blocking up our view at present because we are too close to it.”

“We can never be ourselves…our real selves…when she is about, Rae.”

“Perhaps not. But she won't be always around. And she isn't going to rule here whatever she may think. ‘I'm master here,' said dad, at the end of our talk, ‘and your mother is mistress of Silver Bush and will remain so.' So that's that. I must be off to school now. You won't have to face May this morning. Sid has taken her home for the day.”

Judy, who, for the first time in her life, had been a coward, crept in now and Pat flew to her old arms.

“Judy…Judy…help me to bear it.”

“Oh, oh, bearing is it? We'll bear it together, Patsy darling, to the last turn av the screw, wid a grin for the honor av Silver Bush. And just be renumbering, Patsy, what the Good Book says…about happiness being inside av ye and not outside. Thim mayn't just be the words but it's what I'm belaving it manes.”

“All very well if things outside would stop poking at you,” said Pat, rather less forlornly.

“We've got to be saving Silver Bush from her,” said Judy slyly. “She'll be trying to spile it while she do be here and we'll have our liddle bit av fun heading her off, Patsy darlint…diplomatic-like and widout ructions for the honor av the fam'ly. Ye'd have had a laugh this morning if ye'd been down, Patsy, to see Bould-and-Bad turning his back on her, aven if she did be making a fuss over him. She's rale fond av the animiles so we nadn't worry over that.”

To Pat it was almost another count against May that she was fond of cats. She hated to admit a good point in her.

“How was Sid, Judy?”

“Oh, oh, looking like innything but a happy bridegroom. And just a bit under her thumb already, as I cud be seeing. Her wid her ‘honey-boy' and telling av the way his hair curled over his forrid! As if I hadn't been knowing it all his life. But I was as smooth as crame, darlint, and that rispictful ye'd have died and niver did I be aven glancing at her stockings all in rolls round her ankles. Sure and it was a comfort to me to be knowing Long Alec wasn't intinding to hand Silver Bush over to Sid, as the Binnies hoped. Long Alec's not taking off his boots afore he goes to bed. ‘You and yer wife can stay here till I can afford to build a house for ye,' sez he…and me fine May wasn't liking it. She's been telling round what she would do when she got to Silver Bush. ‘I can be getting Sid Gardiner back whin I crook me finger,' sez she. Oh, oh, she's got him, worse luck, but she hasn't got Silver Bush and niver will. A year or two will soon pass, Patsy dear, and thin we'll be free av her. Maybe aven sooner wid a bit av luck.”

“She has gone home for the day, Rae said.”

“To be getting her boxes and breaking the news to the Binnies. I'm thinking they'll bear up well under it. She did be insisting on washing the dishes first and I did be letting her for pace' sake. She did be making as much commotion as a cat in a fit, finding where iverything shud go, and smashed the ould blue plate be way av showing what she cud do. But I'll not be denying she washed thim clane and didn't be laving a grasey sink.”

Pat had always washed the dishes. She began to be sorry she hadn't gone down for breakfast after all. It would have been more dignified…more Silver Bushish.

“Now, come ye down, Patsy darlint, and have a liddle bite,” said Judy wheedlingly. “I've been after frying a bit av the new ham and an egg in butter. A cup av tay will restore yer balance like. And we'll be having our liddle laugh now and agin behind her back, Patsy.”

Pat pulled up the blind again. There was a little chill at her heart which had never been there before and which she felt would always be there henceforth. But afar the Hill of the Mist was lovely in the September sunshine. When she looked at it it gave her some of its own pride and calm and faint austerity.

She went up to see mother after she had had her breakfast and found her, as always, serene and clear and pale, like a star seen through the rifts of storm-cloud.

“Darling, it's hard, I know. I'm sorry for Sid…he
has
made a great mistake, poor boy. But if we all do our best things will work out somehow. They always do.”

Poor brave darling mother!

“We'll be all right when we get our second wind,” said Pat staunchly. “I'm going to be decent to May, mother, and there won't be any bickering….I won't have that here. But Silver Bush
is
going to be saved from the Binnies, mother, and no mistake about it.”

Mother laughed.

“Trust you for that, Pat.”