Mixed Feelings (Empathy in the PPNW Book 1) (16 page)

The kitchen looke
d like it was dressed for a
TV crew to
crowd
in and
shoot a culinary school commercial. I was pretty impressed
,
but rather than boost his ego by mentioning it, I sat at the counter
and reach
ed
across to grab a handful of
mushrooms. Any port in a storm.
Ignoring my rudeness, Mel
started opening paper-wrapped bundles of cubed meat. I jerked my chin
toward them when he did a sliding dance toward the stove.

“What are those?”

“The different kinds of meat
you claim you don’
t want.
I
’ve got venison and
rabbit—very fresh—but if you prefer, I can pull some chicken, pork,
or beef out.”

It took me a moment to catch
on to what he meant by fresh and I sat up straight when I did
.

“Fresh? Like, you killed
them?” I asked.

He nodded, still at the
stove. The pizza oven made a crackling sound.
“That’s
why I’m in the forest.”

“There are chickens and cows
in the forest?” I asked.

Mel took a second to throw me
an annoyed glance.
“
I don
’
t kill
those
myself, but I like variety
.
I have family all over; some of them have farms. Not all werewolves are
as city-loving as I am.”

“Yeah, you’re a real Carrie
Bradshaw out here in the dark of the forest, killing your own deer.”

“
You mock,
but once you taste it
...
” he trailed off, grabbing a handful of the dark red meat and dumping
the cubes into a pan that smelled like spices and wine.

I took a second to question
my
situation
again, shaking my head.
“I'm not kidding; this is weird. You haven’t once tried to stick it in
me in the last hour
.
”

Mel shrugged. “How do you
know that’s not exactly what I’m doing now?”

I blinked, frowning.

“This seems a bit elegant for
you.”

“Give me some credit, Arthur.”
Content with the way the meat in the pan was handling itself, he turned to me
and leaned against the counter. “If it can somehow be used to seduce a woman, I
am great at it.”

“Really?”
I asked, nabbing
a few spinach leaves this
time. I ate them quickly, leaning back in my chair. “Like what?”

“Oh, various
instruments—though drums and bass are the top sellers. Cooking,
singing—no, I will not demonstrate that for you. Yoga.”

I was more taken aback by the
yoga comment than the rest, but I vowed then and there to one day hear Mel belt
out a cheesy love ballad. In my mind, he would don a long blond wig and
possibly weep at the end of the song, before—of course—being pelted
with panties.

“
Yoga?
”

“Oh, you have no idea.
Especially out here.” He whistled, looking at me like he’d just cracked the
biggest secret in vagina history.

“
You are...
” I trailed off, unsure of what I could call him that
I hadn’t already called him a million times. “Actually,
w
here is the wine? I need to talk to some wine about this.” With
Mel
wearing the necklace, I could get as drunk as I
wanted and I wouldn’t have to worry about how my empathy might react.
I hadn
’t gotten drunk around another person since I’d been
dating my ex-husband and I liked the idea of company that couldn’
t fry my brain.

When he brought out a bottle
of red and two glasses, I considered how the next hour might go and how
different it was likely to be from the rest of our relationship.

“This isn’t weird to you?” I
asked.

Mel shrugged.
“
It
’s fun. Aren’t you having
fun?”

“I suppose. But this isn’t
how we do things. Your fun usually comes at my expense.”

“
True,
” he said, sipping his own wine and checking the meat
in the pan. “
But
this is better. Why are you
complaining
?
”

“
I
’m not complaining, I’m confused.
I
’m not
used to being able to stand you. Generally just being in the same room with you
makes me want to tear my—no, tear
your
hair out.
”

When he turned to unwrap one
of the balls of dough he had on the counter, he was smiling.

“And that is exactly why I
spend so much time in the same room as you. It’s like a game where winning just
requires me to stand there.”

“
You
’re an asshole.”

He shrugged. “You just play
hard to get really well.”

“
I
’m not playing. And I’m not just hard to get, I’m impossible. At least
for you.”

“Never say never. With this
necklace, who knows what might happen.”

“I know what will happen and
it’s not sex. From the second we met, you’ve been insufferable and grating. And
not just your emotions. You, as a person, tend to be
a jerk
. And besides, there’s a world full of other women out
there. Why is fucking me on your bucket list?”

“
Wow,
” he said, his eyebrows shooting up as he worked the dough. “
Lang
uage.”

I went quiet, unsure if I’d
offended him. After some contemplation, I realized that was unlikely.
I watched him work, wondering why he wasn’t addressing my comments about
his jerkishness. He didn’t look bothered but I couldn’t be sure without being
able to feel his emotions. For a brief moment, I kind of wished I could feel
what was going on in his psyche. Deciding that way definitely lay not only
madness but also rolling around on the floor clutching my skull and crying, I
pressed on.

“So why me? From what I can
tell, you don’t have a type, so it’s not that. You’ve, somehow, got no shortage
of options and paying a prostitute would be way less work than you put into
going after me.” I took another drink of wine and a thought occurred to me.
“Is it really just that I’
m
a woman?
”

“Pretty much.”

“Great,” I said, shaking my
head. “
You
’re even simpler than I am.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he
said, lifting the dough and tossing it like a pro. “
I don
’t think anyone’s as simple as you. Maybe a dung
beetle.”

“
Hey
.”

“That’s not half as insulting
as some of the things you’ve said to me,” Mel pointed out, his tone gone harder
than I’d been expecting.

“
Well
… you deserve it.”

“And you deserve me driving
you home without giving you any pizza
.
”

I buttoned up
,
cowed by the idea that I wouldn’t get to eat any of
the spiced, boozy venison or the fresh
mozzarella
floating
in cloudy water waiting to be made into delicious pizza
.
After another sip of wine and an internal admonishment at my growling
stomach, I let my annoyance go.

“
Well. I
’
m sorry,
” I offered. Mel nodded my way, ignoring the fact that
my tone hadn’t been entirely sincere.

“I appreciate that.”

Trusting that he was back on
the feeding-me train, I got back on topic. “If I looked like a rumpled bed
sheet and weighed as much as a small horse, would you still try to have sex
with me?”

“
Yep.
” He nodded without hesitation.

“
Well
,
that’s something
,
at least.”

“
Meaning?
”

“
Meaning
… you’re actually less of a dick than I thought.”

“My dick is less than no man’
s.
”

“Why does everything end up
being about your dick?

“You’d understand if you’d
just take a shot.”

I wrinkled my nose. “It would
take so much more than one shot to get me to have sex with you. I’d need the
entire bottle.” I glared at the wine as if it was conspiring against me. Mel
caught my look and laughed.

As he moved on to adding
sauce to the dough, I got up and
went
to the other side of the counter. Eyeing the options, I waited for him
to finish with the sauce.

“Do I get to choose the
toppings?”

“For one pizza, yes. I choose
the second for you.”

“
I
’ll allow it,”
I said
, risking my dignity and
pouring another glass of wine
.

***

By midnight, I was stretched
out on the floor of Mel’s living room, making undoubtedly sexual sounds. Both
pizzas were divine, though I did cheerfully admit that the one Mel had crafted
was better than the one I’d slapped together. At some point in the evening I’d
lost my shoes and my socks and taken up residence on the floor next to the
free-standing fireplace. The window at my back was impressively insulated; all
I felt was the wine in my bloodstream and the heat from the fire.

Mel was on the floor across
the coffee table from me, one long leg outstretched, one bent, his back to the
part of his sectional that divided the living room from the kitchen. He was
laughing at me. I couldn’
t
recall the number of things
we’d discussed, but none had been too personal. I wondered if skirting around
subjects
like
siblings and life
experiences was just his way of avoiding getting close to a woman.

Grabbing another slice of
pizza, I chomped into it,
moaning
again.

“If I didn’t have a year of
experience warning me against it, I would
actually
be seduced by this.
Come on, Somerset, let’s hear you sing.”

He
laughed and
shook his head,
grabbing
for a slice of the pizza I’d made—which I’d
barely touched.

“Your experience is wrong. I
could give you some better, though.”

“No, no, despite your cooking
prowess—which is impressiv
e
—
I
’m not interested. You’re still an asshole.”

“So are most of the men out
there.”

“I haven’t slept with them,
either,” I mused, trying to decide if I wanted another glass of wine or another
slice of pizza.

“Maybe you should give us all
a chance.”

“Each and every one of you?”
I asked, feigning a childlike excitement. When he rolled his eyes
,
I let my tone fall flat. “That would probably just
end in disappointment.”

“
Man,
” he said, finishing off
his
slice and shaking his head. “You
have no faith in my gender.”

“
Eh,
” I shrugged, deciding against any more food. While I wasn’t trying to
impress Mel, I also
wasn
’t
really interested in barfing all over his house because I’d eaten and drank too
much. “
It
’s less a lack of faith and
more a… discerning taste.”

“
Wel
l, you should discern that
I’m worth a taste.”

I squinted his way.”Do you
have a porn script writer in your ear, or something?
You
’
re like Cyrano de Blow
Job.
”

Laughing, Mel got up,
grabbing
for the pizza pans. Winking at me, he padded into the
kitchen.
“
I
don
’t need
anybody else; all this sexual cleverness is me and me alone. Unless you’d like
to get a friend involved.”

“
I don
’t say it enough, but
ugh
.
” Grabbing the ceramic squares he’d set out for the formerly hot pizza
pans, I followed him.
“Besides, just because you’ve
slept with a lot of women doesn’t mean you’re good at it.”

“How does
that
logic
work?”

“
You
’
re pretty, I
’ll give you that. Women are
just as shallow as men and if I saw a picture of you, I’d probably want to
bang
you.” Oops, that last bit had been the wine talking.
Mel didn’t seem to notice, which I thought spoke to how often he got told he
was attractive.