ModelLove (10 page)

As the kiss ended, Temaru whispered against Ian’s lips, “You
were incredible.”

Ian cupped Temaru’s cheek in his hand. “Thanks to you.”

Mitch stepped up behind Ian, wiping sand off him with a
towel. “So how did it feel getting in front of the camera again?”

“Not too bad, actually.” Ian turned a teasing smirk on
Rodney. “Even if toward the end it was the most unprofessional shoot I’ve ever
been on.”

Rodney held up both hands in a gesture of nonchalance. “For
the sake of my art, I must use whatever techniques and tools I have available.”

“Right. And on that note, we’re out of here.” Ian took
Temaru’s hand.

Mitch draped his arm around Rodney’s shoulders and waved to
them. “Have fun acting out your thoughts.”

“We will,” Ian called back.

Temaru steered him toward the blanket, where he’d left a
small duffel bag he’d brought. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be hungry or how long
this would last, so I brought you something to eat.”

Ian kissed him on the cheek. “Perfection personified. That’s
you.”

“You must have low standards for perfection if all it takes
is a sandwich and some mixed fruit.”

“It’s the thought behind it that makes you perfect.” Ian
picked up the bag and unzipped it. Along with the food and a couple bottles of
water, there were condoms and lube. He looked up to Temaru. “And the fact that
you think ahead is a nice quality.”

“Actually, bringing the other items was a purely selfish
act.”

“To me, even your selfishness is perfect.”

Laughing, Temaru took Ian’s hand and led him up the beach.
Where he wanted to take him wasn’t far from the shoot. A grove of palm trees grew
down from the forest to the water’s edge, shading the sand. Temaru snapped out
the blanket, letting it float down to the ground.

Ian sat next to him, so close their bodies touched. “So
what’d you think of the shoot?”

Temaru pulled the food and drinks from the bag. “It was fun
to watch. I thought you looked very comfortable with it most of the time.” He
leaned into him. “Especially toward the end.”

“I had a good reason for that.” Ian picked up a sandwich,
though he didn’t look as if he had much interest in eating. “I was nervous as
hell before we started and for the first few shots. I wasn’t sure about showing
so much skin, but my old instincts started kicking in and it started to feel
natural for me.”

“That’s a good sign. But I know you showed even more when
you were younger.”

Ian smirked at him. “You searched for my old editorials and
shots, didn’t you?”

“I did, like you asked me to, a couple of days ago before
our first dinner. They were impressive.”

Ian picked at the crust of his sandwich. “So you see now
what I meant how I’m no longer that man.”

“I do.”

Ian nodded and fell silent.

Even with Ian’s gaze turned away from him, in his profile
Temaru saw the worry and sadness shadowing Ian’s eyes. He leaned into him.
“None of us stay the same we were years ago. We’re always changing, always
evolving, in our thoughts, how we do things and yes, our physical appearance.
Some people change for the better, some people don’t.”

Before he could finish his thought, Ian cut him off. “I’ll
bet you wish you knew me back then.”

Temaru brought his face close to him, nuzzling into Ian’s
hair near his ear, hushing his voice. “No, I don’t. Because you changed for the
better.”

Ian tensed. A hint of anger edged his voice. “No, I
haven’t.”

“Let me ask you something. Take physical appearance out of
it. What were you like back when you were ruling the modeling world?”

“I was cocky, vain, selfish. If I’m going to be totally
honest, I was kind of a douche.”

“And now you’re none of those things.” Temaru bumped
playfully against him. “And most definitely not a douche. You’ve
changed
.”

Ian stared at him for a moment longer before slowly looking
away. “Yeah, well, losing someone you love tends to do that.”

“But sometimes it’s those tragedies that bring out our
strengths. As hard as it is for us going through it to see it.”

Ian nodded but stayed quiet.

Temaru set his sandwich aside, his appetite faded with
feeling he’d said more than Ian wanted to hear. “I’m sorry. I was talking too
much again.”

Ian gave him a glance and a grin. “No, you’re just making me
think
again.”

“Have you decided yet if that’s a good or bad thing?”

Ian discarded his sandwich and moved to kiss him. “It’s a
very good thing.”

As their lips touched, Ian wrapped one arm around him,
caressing along Temaru’s jaw. He moved his hand to the back of Temaru’s head,
under his long hair, and deepened the kiss. He drifted his fingers down
Temaru’s chest. “Just how private is this little spot?”

“Private enough.” Temaru eased to his back, bringing Ian
down with him. He slipped his hands under Ian’s shirt, caressing Ian’s back.
His thighs on either side of Ian’s hips, he rocked up to him, grinding his cock
against him. The slick material of their swim shorts was a thin barrier between
them. For Temaru it was still too much. He wanted to feel Ian’s skin rubbing
across his own.

Temaru floated both hands down Ian’s back and pushed them
into Ian’s swimsuit, gripping his ass. Ian groaned and pressed down harder on
him. Temaru pulled his hands out but only to take hold of the suit and push it
down.

As it passed over his ass, Ian lifted himself off Temaru and
stood to finish taking them off. Temaru wiggled his down, kicking them to land
at the bottom of the blanket. He reached for Ian. Ian took his hand and tugged
to get him on his feet.

Temaru stood, his arms going around him. He brought their
lips together again, driving his tongue deep into Ian’s mouth. Ian took control
of the kiss next, sucking Temaru’s tongue.

Temaru held tight to Ian, needing his strength for support
with the kiss taking away his breath and strength. His head felt light. He
could only think how he wanted so many more kisses like this from Ian. Still
dizzy from it, he was hardly aware of Ian turning him around.

Standing behind him, Ian directed him toward a palm tree
near the blanket. He gently pressed between Temaru’s shoulder blades.
Understanding what Ian wanted him to do, Temaru leaned slightly forward,
resting his hands on the tree trunk.

Ian lowered to his knees, brushing his lips along Temaru’s
back. He ran his hands over Temaru’s ass, squeezed and released the muscled
cheeks. Temaru groaned low and bent forward more, pushing his ass toward him.

Ian parted the ass cheeks farther to bare Temaru’s hole and
gave it a long, slow lick.

Temaru’s breath rushed from him. He dug his fingers into the
tree’s rough bark. Ian dragged his tongue across his hole again, then flicked
the outside of it with the tip. Temaru rocked back, wanting more of Ian’s hot
mouth, more of his wet, soft tongue. Ian closed his mouth over it, sucking and licking
with more force.

Temaru heard himself moaning on each panting breath, but
couldn’t control himself. Ian’s hunger in rimming him made his entire body
radiate with pleasure. When Ian sat back, he let out a soft whimper, reaching
behind to guide Ian’s head to him again. He stopped as he felt a saliva-soaked
finger touch his hole and a heartbeat later, Ian was sinking it into him.

A rough moan left him. He placed his hand back on the palm
tree. In the past two days together, he hadn’t yet gotten to have Ian inside
him. He craved for Ian to take him, but when they’d start getting heavy and Ian
would press and grind his ass against him, he couldn’t resist burying his cock
deep inside him. But now, Ian taking control with so much confidence, he felt
like he could melt into him.

Ian thrust his finger in and out of him, kissing and lightly
nipping at Temaru’s ass cheeks while working him open. After a few thrusts, he
drew his finger out and replaced it with his mouth. Temaru gasped at the change
in sensation. As he started to succumb to Ian’s tongue again, once more Ian
pulled away to enter him with two fingers.

Temaru closed his eyes. Pre-cum leaked from his cock to drip
on the sand below. One more time, Ian pulled his fingers out of him. He
returned with his mouth and pushed the tip of his tongue into Temaru’s
stretched hole.

A loud moan escaped Temaru. He slapped a hand over Ian’s
that held his hip. He squeezed it, trying to find his voice. “You’re going
to…make me come.”

Ian licked down from Temaru’s hole toward his sac, pausing
and speaking with his lips still on the sensitive strip of skin. “Isn’t that
what you want?”

“When you’re inside me. Fuck me, Ian.”

Ian moaned at Temaru’s words. He took another moment to lick
and suck the back of Temaru’s sac, then stood.

Temaru glanced back to see him rummaging in the duffel bag,
coming out with the lube and a condom. Opening the condom on his way back to
him, Ian stood behind him. He put the condom on and swiped lube over it, wiping
the excess on Temaru’s hole and slipping his fingers into him to further line
him.

Ian gripped Temaru’s hips in both hands, giving him a sharp
jerk back. A short groan left Temaru at the rough movement. He parted his legs
wider, doing all he could to hurry Ian to get inside him. He felt the pressure
of Ian’s cock on his hole as Ian sought to enter him and pushed back to take
it. The head moved in and Ian took over, slowly going deeper. As soon as Ian
was in all the way, he drew back, setting a smooth rhythm to his thrusts.

Temaru concentrated on the feel of their connection. For how
much he had craved to have Ian’s cock inside him, actually having it surpassed
what he’d imagined. His emotions intensified the physical pleasure. This man,
who the moment he saw him had captivated him, was owning his body. Ian was
making it his, giving them both so much pleasure as he did.

Ian leaned over Temaru’s back and wrapped one arm around his
chest. He caressed along the inside of Temaru’s hip with his other hand. His
fingers grazed the side of Temaru’s sac. He turned his hand and cupped it,
gently fondling it as he continued his thrusts.

Temaru breathed faster. Ian’s hand was so close to his cock.
He wanted him,
needed
him to grab it. “Stroke my dick. I need to come. I
need it so bad.”

Ian moved his hand to Temaru’s cock and closed his fingers
around the hard shaft. “Fuck, you’re going to make me come just saying things
like that.”

Temaru humped back toward him, faster than Ian’s pace. “Do
it. Come with me.”

Ian responded with his body instead of words. He thrust
harder, faster, his hand moving at the same speed on Temaru’s cock. He released
his hold around Temaru’s chest and took a fistful of Temaru’s hair. Giving it a
sharp pull, he put his lips to Temaru’s neck. Ian closed his lips around the
tender spot where Temaru’s neck and shoulder met, sucking hard and giving him a
firm nip.

The pain jolted through Temaru, intensifying the pleasure
swirling through his balls. He bumped back hard into Ian, encouraging more
force, more dominance. The low growling moan of Ian’s response drove Temaru
desperate with lust. This assertiveness was a side of Ian he hadn’t seen
yet…and he loved it.

Ian let go of Temaru’s hair to wrap his arm around him
again. Temaru could feel the tightness in Ian’s body and knew Ian was fighting
back his release. Electric pleasure raced through him. He couldn’t hold back
his own pleasure any longer. Temaru let out a loud moan as his climax took hold
of him, not caring if anyone was close enough to hear him. Ian’s hips slammed
against him, his arm constricted around Temaru. Ian’s body shuddered, he called
out with the same abandon and Temaru knew Ian had come with him.

They stayed still for several moments, each trying to catch
his breath. Slowly, Ian staggered back a step, letting his cock slip out.
Temaru instantly missed him, but his legs also felt too weak to hold him much
longer. He made it to the center of the blanket before collapsing down, having
just enough presence of mind left to wipe himself off with a towel and tug his
swim shorts back on.

Ian took off the condom and tied it, wrapping it in the
napkins Temaru had brought to discard it later. He managed to step into his
swimsuit and dropped down beside him.

Temaru shifted close to him and placed a soft, tender kiss
on Ian’s lips. “I’ve thought about that since I first saw you, but my thoughts
didn’t even come close to how good you were. You feel amazing inside me.”

Ian gave him another gentle kiss. “And you feel so good
inside.” He sucked Temaru’s bottom lip. A soft groan hummed in his throat. He
closed his eyes, exhaling a contented sigh. “I could spend the rest of my life
like this.”

Temaru brushed Ian’s cheek with the backs of his fingers,
his voice soft as he spoke. “So could I.”

Ian opened his eyes to him.

Temaru saw he looked startled for a moment, as if he hadn’t
realized what he’d said. Or maybe Ian was surprised by his response. Or perhaps
both. But the look faded as warmth replaced it.

Ian took Temaru’s hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing
Temaru’s fingers. He rested Temaru’s hand on his chest, holding it over his
heart. Temaru snuggled in closer to him, smiling as they rested in each other’s
arms.

“Watch yourself,” Temaru said, holding back the green branch
of a tree.

Ian ducked around it, only to get attacked at the shins by a
giant fern. He jumped away from the offending plant, bumping into Temaru.
“Everywhere I turn, something’s trying to bite me.”

“But don’t worry. Ferns don’t have much in the way of
teeth.”

Ian lifted the leaf with his foot. “It’s not the plant
itself that worries me. It’s what could be hiding underneath it.”

“You don’t even have to worry about that. Other than birds
and a few wild pigs, we don’t have much in wildlife, unless you count all the
dogs and cats running around. But they’re sort of community pets, so I’m not
sure you could call them
wild
.”

Ian followed Temaru as he started weaving through the jungle
again. “I don’t get that. It’s a jungle. There’re supposed to be lizards and
snakes and jaguars and all kinds of ferocious things.”

As Temaru spoke again, Ian could hear the barely restrained
laughter in his voice. “But you have to think of how these islands were formed.
They’re volcanic. They rose out of the ocean and formed over thousands of years
from lava. They didn’t break off from larger continents, so they didn’t inherit
another land’s animals. Only things with wings or that were brought here by
people live here.”

“That’s kind of disappointing.”

“A moment ago, you were dancing away from a ferocious fern
plant. Now you sound like you want dangerous things here.”

“Well, it would make me feel a lot tougher jumping at
everything that touched me if I knew there really was a chance of getting
eaten.”

Temaru’s laughter echoed through the jungle.

Ian smiled at the sound. He’d heard Temaru’s laugh many
times in their past week together and every time it either made him laugh with
him or at the very least, brought him a smile.

But with those smiles and laughs came underlying guilt and
whispers of self-deprecation that he didn’t deserve this happiness. He
shouldn’t be letting himself feeling it. He most
definitely
shouldn’t be
feeling what he was already for Temaru.

The thing was, he didn’t know how
not
to feel happy
when he was with him. He couldn’t control it. He couldn’t make himself be sad,
depressed, hurt. Temaru acted like a shield to those things, something he was
sure Temaru didn’t even know he did. He felt it, though. Where before he wanted
the happiness for just one night, now he wanted it for much, much longer. He
might not deserve it, but damn if he wasn’t enjoying every minute of it.

It was probably his old selfishness resurfacing with him
grabbing hold of this happiness. If it was, it was a hell of a lot better than
the booze and partying he used to think made him happy. They all made him happy
while he was in the middle of it all, but it never lasted when he was alone.

He wanted happiness that would last.

His last thought brought his gaze to Temaru. Even as he
looked at him, he could feel a tendril of guilt snaking through him. Unlike
before, when he’d let his guilt take hold of him, drag him down, he pushed
back.

He didn’t know what that meant. Did it mean he was getting
over losing Aiden? No. No, he’d never get over losing him. But maybe it meant
he was taking the first real steps to learning to live without him.

He was afraid what would happen when he left here, though.
Going back to his life in Chicago…his chest tightened with anxiety at the
thought. Would he fall back into his rut? Would being alone give his depression
strength to pull him down again? He didn’t want to think about it and he didn’t
want to go back. For him it was deeper than knowing he would miss the beautiful
scenery. He had meant what he’d said to Temaru a few days ago. He didn’t want
to leave him.

Fighting down his guilt was a hell of a lot easier than
fighting what he was feeling for Temaru. Probably because didn’t want to fight
those feelings. If anything, he wanted them to become stronger. There was only
one way to give them that chance and it was more daunting and intimidating than
the great mountain they were hiking around the base of.

Temaru ducked under a low-hanging vine. “Now that you’ve
been attacked by the native plant life and I’m dragging you through the jungle,
are you still enjoying the island?”

Ian came out of his thoughts with hearing Temaru’s question.
“I’m loving it even more. And
I
was the one who suggested we hike Mount
Otemanu.”

“You were, and I was surprised and pleased. You’re really
getting deep into the island.”

“I am.” Ian quickened his steps to catch up to Temaru. He
hooked a finger over the back of Temaru’s pants. “But there’s one place on this
island that I really love being deep into.”

Temaru pressed back into him. “That part of the island loves
that too.”

Ian placed a kiss on Temaru’s neck, his skin damp with
sweat. They had hiked since early that morning and the way was far from easy.
Temaru said the trail was hardly used by locals and not on any tourist maps.
Ian’s question had been, “What trail?” which had earned him Temaru’s beautiful
laugh. The exertion of the hike felt so good to him, reminding him how much he
loved pushing his body. And one thing was for sure, this was a lot better
scenery than a gym.

Ian lifted his head, gazing around the forest, dark and
thick with foliage. He breathed deep the heavy scent of vegetation and moist
earth. Now that he and Temaru were standing still, he was better able to
concentrate on the birdsongs. Under the water, now here in the forest, lying in
Temaru’s bed listening to the waves and wind, everything about this place made
him feel…peaceful. That sense of peace was something he hadn’t felt in a long
time, if he’d ever truly known it.

Temaru exhaled a contented sigh. “It’s nice not hiking this
trail alone for once.”

Ian brought his gaze to him. “So this isn’t how you test all
your boyfriends’ courage?”

Temaru chuckled softly. “No. Not that I’ve had all that many
to be able to test.”

Ian gave him a playful nudge. “Right. I’m pretty sure with
your looks, you have the men lining up at the clubs to offer you blowjobs.”

“Well, back when I was at university, I didn’t lack for
company, but that’s not the same. I dated one guy for some months, but we were
too different to make it last and he had no desire to live on the island. He
enjoyed city life and the faster pace. In the years since moving back to the
islands, the intimate side of my social life is much slower.”

Ian stepped around him to see him better. “Why’s that?”

“Lack of opportunity’s part of it. The island is small and
not exactly overflowing with gay men.”

Hurt tightened in Ian’s chest. “So is that why you’re with
me? I’m just an opportunity that you stumbled across?”

Temaru laid his hands on Ian’s chest. “No, no. That’s not
what I meant toward you. I might not have a lot of opportunities, but that
doesn’t mean I’m not discriminating. That was what I was going to say about the
other part of why I haven’t had many boyfriends in recent years. I’ve become
picky. Too picky, probably. But sleeping with so many jerks can do that to a person,
I think.”

Ian took Temaru’s hands in his. “No, that makes sense. Sorry
for getting tense over what you said.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry for.” Temaru grinned. “I’ll blame
it on English not being my first language again. I don’t think I said things
right.”

“No, you did. It was all me.” Ian released Temaru’s hands
and stepped to the side of a downed tree. He sat on the mossy trunk, looking up
at him. “So why are you wasting your time with me?”

Temaru shook his head slightly in confusion. “
Wasting
my time? I don’t look at it that way.”

Ian let out a rough snort. “I’m not exactly a catch. I’ve
wondered about it a couple of times, if maybe you regret talking to me that
first time. If now you’re finding yourself stuck in a situation you’re not sure
how to get out of, so you’re just being nice and dealing with me until I’m
gone.”

Temaru stood silent, his expression revealing so much. He
stood with his lips agape, his slender eyebrows drawn closer. He looked
genuinely confused and hurt. Ian lowered his gaze. Damn it. Why did he have to
let his own fucked-up issues mess with everyone who came close to him?

“Have I made you feel that way?” Temaru asked.

Ian shook his head. “No, it’s nothing you did. Like I said,
it’s me. I guess I’m still finding it a little hard to believe that you’d
actually
want
to hang out with me.”

Temaru took a step toward him. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“The brief version? I’m a fucked-up head case that manages
to drive people and happiness away.”

Temaru walked the last few steps and squatted down in front
of him, resting his hands on Ian’s thighs. “You’re not any of those things.
You’re a man who’s lived with grief for a long time. That kind of loss can
change a person. I know. It changed me when I lost my grandfather. I started to
live my life with more of his spirit of kindness and caring. Losing him humbled
me and opened my eyes to appreciating what’s around me. But everyone handles
grief differently and none of those ways make someone a head case. It makes
them human.”

Ian stared into Temaru’s tawny-colored eyes. Emotion rose
inside him. He’d never met anyone who could make him feel as not alone as
Temaru.

Temaru gave him a bright smile. “And you don’t drive people
and happiness away. I’m still here, aren’t I? And you make me happy. That’s why
I’ve been spending my time with you. And I like you. You’re intelligent and
interesting and yes, you’re a little high-strung…”

Ian chuckled with Temaru’s last word.

“But I like that.” Temaru squeezed Ian’s legs lightly. “So
don’t think again that I’m
wasting
my time with you. I’m
enjoying
every minute with you. And I think you’re giving me too much credit for being
nice. Trust me, if I didn’t want to spend time with you, I would tell you to
fuck off.”

Ian laughed harder. “Then I guess I am worrying for
nothing.”

“Yes, you were. So stop it.”

“Will do.” Ian cupped Temaru’s face in both hands, leaning
forward and whispering, “Thank you.” He sealed his words with a soft kiss to
Temaru’s lips. He eased back, caressing Temaru’s cheek. Lifting his gaze, he
scanned the height of Mount Otemanu towering above them, green and jagged.
“Will we be able to make it to the top?”

“We won’t be able to make it to the top at all. Just part of
the way up. The rock is too fragile. It crumbles under a person’s weight. No
one’s ever made it to the top, unless dropped there by a helicopter and I think
that’s cheating.”

“I agree.” Ian continued to gaze up at the mountain.
“Amazing how something so big, that looks so formidable from a distance, can’t
support a person climbing it.”

“Proof that things aren’t always what they appear, no?”

Ian nodded slowly. How true that was and how much he’d
experienced it in his life.

Temaru stood and held his hands out to Ian. “But all those
weaker rocks make up this mountain, the greatest feature of the island.”

Ian took Temaru’s hands and rose to his feet. “I guess
sometimes what you think of as a weakness is really a strength. Or can become
one.”

“Exactly.” Temaru brought his lips to Ian’s in another
gentle kiss.

As Temaru drew back, Ian kept his eyes closed a moment
longer. He took a deep breath. “Ready to keep going?”

“Absolutely.” Temaru turned, extending a hand back to him.

Ian curled his fingers around Temaru’s, following close
behind him. Maybe he didn’t deserve this happiness. Maybe it was wrong of him
to fight his guilt. But he wanted it. Even more, he wanted the source of it,
Temaru, and for far longer than when this trip ended.