Molon Labe! (36 page)

An Internet reporter pipes up. "How do you explain the bloodshed in the Logan raid? We hear from a neighbor that the SWAT team did not identify themselves and were fired upon by Mr. Swan as intruders."

The FBI spokesman replies with an indignant wave of dismissal. "That is simply not true. The raid was lawfully executed and Mr. Swan knew that law enforcement were present. He blocked his front door in order to delay entry, and then chose to fire upon federal agents with a deadly assault rifle rather than peaceably surrender. It was a bloody and unsolicited attack on law enforcement officers legitimately performing their sworn duties."

"How did Swan manage to kill four agents and wound two others?" asks another reporter.

Just like the FBI at Rosebud, North Dakota and Miami, just like the US Marshals at Ruby Ridge, and just like the ATF at Waco, whenever any federal agency takes a licking, two old excuses are always trotted out.

They knew we were coming. We were outgunned
.

"Do you mean to say that the FBI suspects a leak from local law enforcement in Logan?"

"We are investigating that possibility, yes," replies the Bureau suit.

The Bradfords are not charged with any crime, and their case becomes a new cause
célebre
amongst the civil rights groups. At a national press conference with their attorney, they speak for the first time.

In a steady, acidic voice, Kyle explains, "Without any provocation or probable cause, the
Waffen
FBI surrounded the home of my childhood friend Frank Swan who was asleep. They never called him on the phone. They chose not to wait until he was driving to work. No, they surrounded a harm less, slumbering man at 4:30 in the morning like hyenas. As the FBI burst into his home, Frank woke up and began to defend himself from what he no doubt thought was a pre dawn home invasion by assailants.

"While his dog, Otto, was dying on the living room floor after protect ing his master, Frank fought his way out of the house and nearly made it to safety when FBI Special Agent Donald Hoyt shot him five times in the back with a submachine gun. The FBI have expressed no apology for their obscene display of naked power. The FBI have expressed no remorse over my friend's needless death. Instead, they remain defensive and arrogant over the public outrage, and insist that the four agents 'died for their country.' I profoundly disagree. These agents are the type of government thugs that Americans fought over two hundred years ago on the road between Concord and Boston. Every 'dynamic entry' raid is meant to say, 'We are all powerful; you are noth ing.' How many more innocent people must be cut down by machinegun fire in the middle of the night before we admit that federal law enforcement is at war with the American people?!

"At precisely the same time, my wife and I were also raided by the FBI, though fortunately by agents less trigger happy than those who killed Frank. In that raid we lost a member of our family. My wife Susan would like to tell you about it. Honey?"

Susan Bradford steps up to the microphone. She is a trim, fresh faced brunette about 35 years old. "During their search of our farmhouse, one of the Cheyenne FBI agents, Michael Tipton, intentionally put our tame, caged parrot outside to freeze to death. We raised Bondo from a chick, taught him to sing, do chin-ups with his beak, and many other cute tricks. Agent Tipton killed a harmless family pet in a cowardly and despicable act. When we demanded that the FBI buy us another bird out of simple decency, they laughed in our face! So, if you have a dog, cat, hamster, parrot, or goldfish, beware agencies of federal law enforcement!"

Their press conference revives the story with new life. They repeatedly air a video of Bondo singing "I Left My Heart in San Francisco," and his cruel death strikes a chord with the public.

The Cheyenne FBI SAC is furious. "Tipton, you killed their
parrot
?"

"Uh, well, not on purpose, sir. We just forgot to bring it back in." "
'We'
? What's this 'we' shit? You mean 'you'!
You
forgot to bring it back in! Hell, 'forgot' my
ass
! 'Parrotsicle'? You just had to teach Mrs. Bradford a lesson, didn't you?"

"No, sir! I was busy conducting a search of the premises and forgot to return the bird indoors."

"Aww,
bullshit
! Look, I don't give a fuck about their parrot, either, but the damn bird has become some kind of
martyr.
The entire country is talking about it and we look like assholes. Even Leno made a joke about it last night. The audience actually
booed!
Booed the FBI! You remember the first commandment from the Academy, don't you, Tipton?"

"Uh, don't embarrass the Bureau?" Tipton ventures.

"That's right, don't embarrass the Bureau! You stepped in shit and now we
all
stink! Devereaux himself called me about this."

Tipton blanches. "The AD of CID?"

"The same. And the Director's
pissed.
So, guess what, my bird-hating friend you're buying the Bradfords a new parrot. And try to act real sorry in front of the media. Get out; go home!"

Tipton leaves the SAC in a huff and stalks through the office to the elevators. A lone voice from a cubicle sings out in mock-parrot style, "Go get 'em, Feathers!
Bwarrk!
" The room erupts in laughter.

Special Agent Michael Tipton groans. He now has his Bureau nickname, and it's nothing as macho as "Speed" or "Hammer." The more he resists being called "Feathers" the more his colleagues will use it. He'll never live it down. He knows FBI culture well enough to understand that tattoos are less permanent.

He pictures his future clearly: He will come to work and find his desk drawers filled with goose down. He will get anonymous Tweety Bird cards in the mail. Fellow agents will learn the Monty Python "Dead Parrot" sketch by heart and recite it just within earshot. An application to the Audubon Society will be filled out in Tipton's name.

It will never end. No humor was as vicious as cop humor.

Fucking parrot!
He stabs the elevator button with sufficient force to fold his fingernail painfully in half. He swears loudly.

A fellow agent walks past and tosses out, "Going . . .
down
, Tipton?"

Just before the elevator doors close, from deep within the Cheyenne FBI offices comes a raucous
Bwarrk!
As he descends Tipton can still hear the laughter a floor and a half above through the elevator shaft.

After nine weeks of investigations of the Swan and Bradford raids, several things finally became known. First, Frank Swan and Kyle Bradford
did
independently travel through Denver, but the purpose of their trips was to look at a fishing cabin near Fairplay that they were considering buying. Second, all attempts to link the two men to terrorist activity failed. They weren't even members of any militias. Finally, no evidence could be found that the men had anything to do with the Denver kidnappings. Although they had read the Krassny posts online, so had hundreds of thousands of other Americans.

The FBI had barked up the wrong pair of trees, resulting in the death of five men, a dog, and a parrot. It is an unmitigated public relations disaster. Howls of protest rain on the Bureau, and Gore Vidal comes out of retirement in Italy to pen a scorching article on the
"eerie and persistent incompetence"
of the FBI. Animal rights groups make a particularly ugly stink. There is even talk in Congress of merging the FBI with the Department of Homeland Security, and that
really
gets the Bureau's attention.

The brother and parents of Frank Swan sued, as did the Bradfords. The Justice Department quickly settled out of court as a
"humanitarian gesture"
though without admitting any fault. They had done the same thing regarding Ruby Ridge, tossing out $3.1 million to the surviving Weaver family to shut down their $200 million civil suit.

2010 USA political news

Vice President Wiedermann heads off possible impeachment and resigns. Melvin Connor is sworn in as the new VP.

The 2010 Census has nearly 150 questions and is met with massive noncompliance. Hundreds of censustakers are roughed up. Despite dire threats of imprisonment, many Americans learn that they are not required to answer the questionnaire beyond the number of citizens in their household.

2010 USA economic news

Gold is $2,573 and the Dow is 3409.

Wyoming General Election

November 2010

The US Government and most states had, through their increasingly draconian actions, boosted the "market" for freedom. Hence, many Americans were fleeing Kalifornia, Neu Jersey, Taxachusetts, Maryland, etc. This migration was like the electrical potential of voltage; it was looking for some-where to go. Only one state was a "closed circuit" with little impedance. Libertarian leaning Americans continued to pour into Wyoming, especially when they heard good reports from friends and family who had been there since 2006.

Freedom there was maintaining itself and not shrinking.

Much had been learned about relocation logistics from the "dress rehearsal" of 2006, and 2010 went more smoothly. Besides the counties of Weston, Big Horn, Washakie, Park, Converse, and Lincoln, a hoped for overflow made Goshen County possible as well. Twelve of Wyoming's 23 counties were to be under
laissez-faire
government in January. Except for the counties of Sheridan and Campbell (slated for 2014), the entire northern band of the state was in libertarian hands.

Continued advances in the legislature had been planned and achieved. Senate Districts 3, 16, 19, and 23, and House Districts 4, 6, 21, 24, 25, 51, and 54 were won by new candidates embracing liberty.

Washington,D.C.                         FBIHQ

November 2010

"Bleth, nice to see you again," Director Klein says.

"Thank you, sir."

"Lots of news from Wyoming, I hear."

"Yes, sir. It was a very successful election for the newcomers. I'm now positive that they'll be going for the entire state government in 2014."

"Really? What makes you so sure?"

"It's pretty simple: why have only
half
a state? Especially when their formula and their organization have been so effective for the past four years? It'd be like Hitler being satisfied with Poland after the success of blitzkrieg."

Director Klein nods and says, "Yes, that makes sense. Only at the state level would they have any
real
power. How much are those Free State Project people involved in this?"

"Back in 2006, perhaps a bit as a splinter faction. Today, not at all. I've concluded that the FSP has nothing to do with the Wyoming operation. They're still trying to make a go of their New Hampshire choice up in Coos County, though the Quebec secession two years ago increased FSP numbers. However, since the Wyoming operation has given libertarians a
second
choice of state, it seems to have drawn a lot of interest away from New Hampshire. There are some grumblings about that among the original FSP cadre. Several discussion groups have called the Wyoming faction 'splitters.' I find that amusing coming from people supposedly dedicated to competition and free choice."

"Why has a splinter Wyoming group been more successful than the chosen New Hampshire?"

"Primarily because Wyoming has 40% the population and twenty-five times less density. Any large group of newcomers risks being alienated by the indigenous citizens, but that hasn't happened in Wyoming because there is
so
much room. New Hampshire, however, is one of the oldest and most established states. And New Englanders aren't well-known for being overly gregarious to outsiders. They've an entrenched nativist attitude.

"So, for the purposes of a free state idea, I think that Wyoming was clearly the better choice. It's surrounded by sympathetic allies versus antagonists. It has 23 counties versus 10. Its people are western and independent and naturally distrustful of government. Its energy resources are fourth only to Alaska, Texas, and California. And, finally, whoever is behind the Wyoming operation is
really
marshalling his people. I'd bet he is or was either a military officer or a CEO of a fairly large corporation. The efficiency of their progress is remarkable."

"Well why did the FSP choose New Hampshire then?"

"For several faulty reasons. They overemphasized the importance of a coastline, as if 18 miles of seashore truly increases New Hampshire autonomy. A half-dozen Coast Guard cutters could blockade the entire stretch. They focused too much on a state's current reality rather than its
potential
. Wyoming was a shirt they could grow into, but they chose New Hampshire because they thought the shirt already fit. And they got all gooey when the 2003 governor said 'Come on up; we'd be glad to have you!' In my view, the FSP got suckered in by too many superficialities. Wyoming always had the
real
potential and somebody else clearly figured that out.

"If populations had been equal, then New Hampshire would have been tenable. But a free state initiative is, first and foremost, a
numbers
game. FSPers must maximize their voting leverage to push through their political agenda, so they require a sparsely populated state. That's Wyoming, but they instead chose the
third most
populated state on their list, with the second most voters. As I said, they got suckered in by the superficial advantages of New Hampshire and forgot all about the most
important
criterion low county population. It's the key factor to electoral success. Once in office, they can
change
the political environment to their liking but only once they're
in
. They must
first
win elections, and it's 5 to 15 times more difficult in New Hampshire even with fusion candidates."