Momentary Marriage (38 page)

He got up and came around the desk, his gaze intent on her, the expression on his face hovering between hope and caution.

“I hate you,” she blurted out, the muscles in her body vibrating with the intensity of a lifetime of fear.

“I…know,” he said, compassion and regret in the words.

She took several hasty steps into the room, turning to face him across the space in front of his desk. “You’ve ruined everything. Deliberately tried to make this happen.”

There was no denial in his eyes as he somberly met her angry glare.

He turned, going to the door and shutting it before facing her.

“I…wanted you. All of you, not just your body or your company for the night,” he said as if trying to explain his transgressions.

“No matter how I felt about it?” she gasped out. “Even if I didn’t want to fall in love?”

Jared was silent for a long moment. “I guess I never thought that loving someone could be a bad thing.”

“Well, it is a bad thing,” she shot back instantly. “My mother has—“

“Your mother,” he interrupted in a deliberate voice, “is a troubled woman. Emotionally unstable and completely disinterested in a long-term relationship.”

“That’s not true!” gasped Kelsey. “All her adult life, she’s tried to find the right man—“

“The right man for the next wedding,” Jared said, leaning back against his huge desk. “I’ve noticed something about Chloe that has apparently escaped yours and Amy’s attention.”

“Oh, you have. And what, may I ask, is that?” Kelsey asked with heavy sarcasm.

“She doesn’t seem all that upset about her marriages and divorces. Chloe’s gotten used to an ever-changing rotation of husbands. It’s like divorcing has become comfortable to her,” he concluded dispassionately.

Listening to him in growing indignation and disbelief, Kelsey declared, “That’s crazy!”

“Maybe,” he acknowledged. “It’s certainly dysfunctional and her marital habits definitely had horrible effects on you. I’m not sure, however, that she’s distressed by them.”

“But,” Kelsey faltered, her mind grappling to assess any validity his observation might have, “she gets terribly upset when each one falls apart.”

“For a while,” he agreed. “But not long. You told me yourself that she’ll have a new guy lined up within months. If she were really in love with her husbands, could she
transition
so easily?”

He waited, his gaze intent on her face. Lowering his voice, he asked steadily, “Will you be hooked up with some new guy so quickly?”

“No!” The word was out of her mouth before she knew it. Kelsey tried to ignore the glowing warmth that sprang into his eyes. Her gaze falling away from his, she stumbled, “I’m different. I don’t want to fall in love.”

“Exactly,” he said, moving toward her so quickly he had her hand in his before she realized it. “You
are
different. Gloriously, wonderfully, completely different from your mother. You and I, we can do what your mother can’t—make love last.”

A sob escaped from her lips and she pressed them together more tightly.

“Kelsey,” he said softly, drawing her closer. “You are nothing like your mother, and I am sure as hell not your father.”

She trembled, her hand caught fast in his, her heart snared tight. If only she could believe him, could let herself believe in the hope burgeoning in her chest.

“We can make this work,” he said urgently. “We can make a life together and, unlike your mother, we can work through our conflicts and learn to love each other even more.”

Tears tracking down her face, she let him pull her into his arms. God, how wonderful he felt, all wrapped around her. Kelsey leaned her head against his shoulder and let his body muffle her sobs.

“I love you, I love you,” he said with urgent intensity. “Please let yourself love me back.”

Sniffling back the tears clogging her throat, she croaked, “I do, damn you. I do love you, no matter h-how h-hard I’ve tried not to.”

“Thank God,” he breathed, relief and elation rolling through him. “Please live with me. Stay married to me. I can’t live without you. I’ve just been existing, waiting for you to come to me. To give me a chance to prove I can be straight with you.”

“I didn’t know you loved me,” she said breathlessly as she tried unsuccessfully to disentangle herself from his embrace. “I didn’t know.”

He kissed her then, the caress filled with the intensity of his emotion. When he lifted his mouth from hers and drew her in tight against his body, he said again, “I love you so much. I sometimes think about what might have happened if you’d found someone else to marry in your efforts to shake Doug loose….”

“I wouldn’t have,” she told him, realizing the truth of the words as they left her mouth. “I-I wouldn’t have married anyone else.”

“Give us a chance, at least,” he pleaded. “Come back to me and, I promise, every day I’ll give our marriage my best. We’ll both give it our very best. What more can we do?”

“I don’t know,” she said, her voice breaking. “How does anyone make it last?”

“Well, according to my parents,” he told her, “you never forget that the other person has the right to walk away at any time. “Give us a chance, at least,” he pleaded. “Come back to me and, I promise, every day I’ll give our marriage my best. We’ll both give it our very best. What more can we do?”

“I don’t know,” she said, her voice breaking. “How does anyone make it last?”

“Well, according to my parents,” he told her, “you never forget that the other person has the right to walk away at any time. You never just assume it’s going to last. That way, everyone puts their best into it, every day.”

“Sounds…good,” she said, her resistance weakening.

“Come back to me,” Jared urged her. “We can make it work.”

Burying her head in his shoulder, she drew in a breath and held it. As if she were standing at a precipice she’d spent her life avoiding, Kelsey took her courage in her hands and said, “Okay, I’ll…come back. We can…do our best.”

“You will?” he ask, incredulous joy in his voice as he brushed her hair back, tilting her face up till their gazes locked. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Thank God!” Wrapping his powerful arms around her, Jared kissed her again, his touch tender and thankful, promising her his heart for eternity.

When he lifted his mouth from hers, Kelsey snuggled in his arms.

Brushing a kiss against the shell of her ear, Jared asked in a teasing voice, “So you wanted me all along? Like I wanted you?”

“Maybe,” she admitted with a rueful chuckle. “I think I’ve wanted you quite a while.”

“So,” he said, “this thing with Doug and Amy was…kind of an excuse?”

“Well,” she hesitated, “I wouldn’t say that—“

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said with a smile. “After all the string-pulling I’ve done, you owe me a little manipulation.”

Still locked in his arms, Kelsey had to laugh. “How about we just say we’re both getting what we deserve?”

“No,” he said softly. “If you love me, I’m getting much more than I deserve.”

“I do love you,” she whispered fervently.

“Sweet Kelsey,” he said, his voice rough, his arms tightening on her. “You’re too precious to lose. If you’ll give us a chance, we can make magic last.”

“Yes,” she whispered, raising her lips to his. “Yes, Jared, let’s make it last.”