Moments of Julian (20 page)

Kale doesn’t say a word when I go home
the next morning. He just wraps his arms around my shoulders and
hugs me for a very long time. For once, I finally don’t cry. I just
push out all the bad and let myself be in this moment.

There are many people in my life who
love me. Sometimes I just need to remember that.

I pack my bags and Kale carries them
out to the car. I sit in the passenger seat and let him drive to
the airport. Our drive is silent but everything in his presence
emanates support. A few minutes before we get to the airport, I
reach across and take his hand in mine.

When we get to the drop off zone at
the airport, he takes my bags out of the back of the car. Once
again he gives me a long hug and presses a kiss to the side of my
head.

“
Be safe,” he
says.

“
Thanks,” I reply as he
lets go. I give him a thin lipped smile before I grab my bags and
walk into the check in area.

The flight to China feels much longer
than I expect. I finish an entire book on the flight. I don’t read
often, but there is little else to do on an airplane besides that
and sleep. And I do end up sleeping for about five
hours.

Finally, we land and I collect my bags
and find the taxi Gretchen arranged without issue. Thankfully the
check in person at the hotel understands English and I get to my
room without a communication problem.

I take a hot shower and try to
mentally convince my brain that it is time for bed instead of being
time to wake up.

As I slip into pajamas, I vow that
tomorrow morning, I will put this all behind me. I won’t let it eat
up one more second of my life.

I may not yet be ready to let any man
back into my life just yet, Julian or anyone outside of my family,
but I’ll get there.

CHAPTER
SIXTEEN

I keep my outfit simple and no
nonsense. White button up shirt, black blazer, black pencil skirt,
black pumps. Hair goes in a simple bun. I gather my briefcase and
purse and head for the elevator.

As Gretch promised, the translator is
waiting for me in the lobby.

“
Good morning,” he says as
he extends a hand to me. “My name is Di. Nice to meet you Miss
McCain.” His black hair is cut nicely, he is clean shaven and is
wearing a nicely pressed suit. He’s also quite easy on the
eyes.

“
Good morning,” I say as I
shake his hand. “Thank you for meeting me here. I have to admit, I
don’t know a single word of Mandarin.”

He chuckles and smiles. “That’s what
I’m here for. Shall we get to our meeting?”

I nod and he holds the front door open
for me.

The streets are crowded and busy and I
am constantly bumped into. Thankfully, we are only walking next
door. I can’t imagine trying to navigate through the entire
city.

What had Julian called fear of driving
in an unfamiliar place? Mazeophobia?

Before my heart can begin to ache, I
push those thoughts aside and enter the building behind
Di.

He leads us to an elevator and I
intentionally check to see how many floors there are, considering I
nearly had to lay on the sidewalk to see the top of the building.
One hundred and one floors. Di pushes the button for the
ninety-eighth.

It takes a while to get to our floor,
considering there are ninety-seven floors that someone might
possibly push the up button before we get there. The doors open and
close no less than nine times before we finally reach our
floor.

The doors open to reveal a black
marble floor and sleek black and silver walls and décor.

“
Right this way,” Di says
and I follow him down the hall. “Mr. Wang has been very excited to
hear about your new technology. He’s a man who has always been on
the forefront of every modern revolution in the past two decades.
He expects this one will be a great money saver. Money is very
important to him.”

“
That is understandable,”
I say with a smile. “Money is very important to a lot of
people.”

“
And here we are,” Di says
with a smile as he holds a door open.

My pulse skyrockets then and for the
first time in my career, I feel myself start to freeze.

Take them by storm, Sage
McCain,
I say to myself. I can’t afford to
choke now.

I step through the door. There are
twelve Asian men around the table, all staring directly at me. And
unexplainably seated at the front of the table, one empty chair for
me just to the side of him, is Julian.

——

“
We are very excited to be
the first to test your new technology,” Mr. Wang says with his
heavy accent as he signs his name on the contract. “This is truly
revolutionary.”

“
I can personally
guarantee you will be very happy with the Red Door,” Julian says
with a smile. He’s sitting in his chair, his back straight, his
fingers laced together, and his arms resting on the table. He’s
dressed in an expensive black suit and a blue tie striped with
silver. It’s the other one he bought in Toronto.

“
The Red Door,” Mr. Wang
chuckles. “First the Blue Wall, then replaced with the Red Door. I
love the creativity some of you American’s have.”

Julian and I give the obligatory
laughs. Most everyone else in the room is staring at us stony faced
and silent. Di waits at the far end of the table, standing silent
and sentient, waiting for any important conversation he might have
to translate.

“
Our IT department will be
getting in touch in the next two weeks to get the beta program
installed in your systems,” Julian says. “I will be handing the
technology over to Digit at the end of next week for installation
and then we can get moving forward with things.”

Di launches into Mandarin and
translates Julian’s words.

“
It is quite an honor to
meet the inventor of such sophisticated technology,” Mr. Wang says
with a nod of his head. “Everything we have heard about your Blue
Wall has been nothing but complimentary. You are a brilliant
man.”

“
Thank you, Mr. Wang,”
Julian says with a nod of his own head. “That means a lot to
me.”

“
And I will get you copies
of all of the contracts as soon as I get back to the states,” I
jump in. Mr. Wang hands me the last contract and I slip it into my
briefcase. “Digit Securities very much looks forward to serving
you.”

Mr. Wang nods his head again and with
that, Julian and I are dismissed. We gather our things and silently
head for the elevator.

“
I trust you two can make
it back without my assistance?” Di says quietly as he steps out the
door.

“
Yes, thank you,” Julian
says as he adjusts his tie.

Di nods and says his
goodbyes.

My mind still feels half frozen as
Julian and I head to the elevator. I keep glancing at him when he
pushes the down button. He simply stares straight ahead at the
elevator doors. Twenty seconds later, they slide open.

“
I wrote the coding for
the Blue Wall my sophomore year at New Mexico State,” Julian says
as soon as the door slides closed. “I told you I dropped out
because I got bored. That is true, but I also knew I had something
revolutionary. It wasn’t more than two weeks later that I was
approached by Gideon Maxwell and we entered into an
agreement.

“
Digit was small then,
just trying to get off the ground with a technology that only
worked against inexperienced hackers. The Blue Wall made Digit into
a name, but you already know that.”

Julian’s eyes finally flick to my face
and I’m not sure I’ve breathed since we stepped foot in here. I can
only stare at Julian right now.

Because the inventor of
the Blue Wall is a legend. I never once gave a second thought to
the
actual
man
who created it, but the invention itself changed the financial
security industry.

Julian is brilliant.

And I had no clue as to how much
so.

“
You know I’ve been very
busy the last month or so,” Julian says, holding my eyes. “I’ve
been working on the Red Door for the past year and have been
finishing it up recently, getting it ready to test in the market.
Mr. Maxwell is a dictator, he’s been pushing me to get it ready
quicker and quicker, but he’s about to become a
very
rich man with this tech. If it
works. Well, it will work. But once it’s been proven.”

I blink once and just keep staring at
Julian.

“
How are you?” he finally
says when I cannot seem to find my voice. “I’ve…I’ve missed
you.”

I blink once more at Julian. I lick my
lips. My brain starts to flicker back into
functionality.

“
You created the Blue
Wall?” I say.

“
Yes,” he says, his eyes
dead serious and uncertain as to what my reaction is going to
be.

“
You were twenty when you
created it,” I state. “And now the Red Door. You’re about to
revolutionize the entire industry. Again.”

“
I think so,” he says.
“Yes.”

“
Why didn’t you ever say
anything?” I ask. I’m not angry. I’m really not feeling much of
anything yet. But I do want to know.

“
Because when I saw you at
the banquet, I didn’t want what was between us to have anything to
do with work or the company. I never have. I’ve wanted what’s
between us to just be us. One hundred percent, pure and
simple.”

I give a little numb nod.

It’s actually a relief. Had I known
Julian had such a heavy tie to my work, I never could have been
with him the way I have. Julian is tied to Mr. Maxwell and I am
nothing if not professional with him. Knowing that Julian answered
to Mr. Maxwell, and that he’d helped create the company I worked so
hard for would have forever kept me back from Julian.

The elevator doors slide open. We’ve
miraculously made it to the ground level without anyone else
getting on the elevator.

I follow him into the lobby and then
out to the sidewalk on instinct.

My brain still can’t quite process
what Julian has just told me.

Julian practically invented my
company.

“
Can we go somewhere and
talk?” Julian is standing right in front of me. His eyes are locked
on mine and there’s sadness in them and desperation. And
finally
seeing
Julian shatters me out of my frozen state.

I can’t keep myself away any
longer.

A sharp breath catches itself in my
throat as I rush him and hug myself to him as if he is the last
gasp of air I will ever have. My body is so full of need and ache
and other emotions I am scared to put words to I am sure I will
drown in them.

One of Julian’s arms wrap around me
and he places a hand on the back of my head.

“
You have no idea how much
I’ve missed you,” he breathes into my hair. “The distance has been
killing me.”

“
I want to tell you what
happened last week,” I say. The words coming out my mouth shock me,
but they are one hundred percent true. “You deserve to
know.”

Julian just looks at me for a long
moment and I can see how much he’s been hurting the last week. He
never did anything wrong and he’s probably been thinking all of
this was somehow his fault.

“
Okay,” he
breathes.

“
Come on,” I say, starting
for the doors to the hotel. “There’s no way I’m going anywhere
outside this hotel and the airport.”

A tiny bit of a smile breaks onto
Julian’s face, but it’s gone in just a second.

We enter the elevator and my heart
starts fluttering faster and faster.

I know as soon as I say the words I
will not be able to take them back.

But the alternative of keeping them
secret and in and letting them destroy me is so much
worse.

We enter my room and I immediately go
into the bathroom and lock the door.

I stare at myself in the mirror for a
long minute.

A total of two people know what I am
about tell Julian, and those are my parents. My brothers know vague
details, but I’ve never had the strength to tell them the full
truth.

I’ve modeled my entire life around
what happened. Everything I’ve done in the past ten years has been
because of what I am about to tell the one man who has seen past my
pride and walls.

An epic shift is about to
happen.

I take a deep breath, look myself in
the eye one more time, and walk out of the bathroom.

Julian is sitting on one of the two
lounge chairs. His eyes tell me he is scared as hell to hear
whatever I am about to say.

I walk over to the other chair and
slide it close to Julian. I sink into it and lean forward, resting
my elbows on my knees. I link my fingers together and stare at
them.