Monkey (6 page)

‘It’s the heaviest weapon we’ve got in the palace,’ said the Dragon King. ‘I have nothing else I can show you.’

‘The proverb says “It’s no use the Dragon King pretending he’s got no treasures,”‘said Monkey. ‘Just look again, and if you succeed in finding something suitable, I’ll give you a good price.’

‘I warn you I haven’t got anything else,’ said the Dragon King.

At this point the Dragon Mother and her daughter slipped out from the back rooms of the palace and said,’ Great King, we can see that this Monkey Sage is of no common capacities. In our treasury is the magic iron with which the bed of the Milky Way was pounded flat. For several days past it has been glowing with a strange light. Was this not perhaps an omen that it should be given to the Sage who has just arrived ?’

‘This,’ said the Dragon King, ‘is the thing that was used by the Great Yii, when he subdued the Flood, to fix the depth of the rivers and seas. It’s only a piece of holy iron. What use could it be to him ?’

‘Don’t worry about whether he uses it or not,’ said the Dragon Mother. ‘Just give it to him, and if he can cope with it, let him take it away with him.’

The Dragon King agreed, and told Monkey.

‘Bring it to me and I’ll have a look at it,’ said Monkey.

‘Out of the question!’ said the Dragon King. ‘It’s too heavy to move. You’ll have to go and look at it.’

‘Where is it ?’ asked Monkey.’ Show me the way.’

The Dragon King accordingly brought him to the Sea Treasury, where he at once saw something shining with innumerable beams of golden light. ‘There it is,’ said the Dragon King. Monkey respectfully tidied himself and approached the object. It turned out to be a thick iron pillar, about twenty feet long. Monkey took one end in both hands and raised it a little. ‘A trifle too long and too thick!’ he said. The pillar at once became several feet shorter and one layer thinner. Monkey felt it. ‘A little smaller still wouldn’t do any harm,’ he said. The pillar at once shrunk again. Monkey was delighted. Taking it out into the daylight he found that at each end was a golden clasp, while in between all was black iron. On the near end was the inscription ‘Golden Clasped Wishing Staff. Weight, thirteen thousand five hundred pounds’. ‘Splendid!’ thought Monkey. ‘One couldn’t wish for a better treasure than this.’ But as he went along, he thought to himself, fingering the staff, ‘If only it were a little smaller, it would be marvellous.’ And sure enough, by the time he got outside it was not much more than two feet long. Look at him, how he displays its magic, making sudden
thrusts and passes on his way back to the palace. The Dragon King trembled at the sight, and the Dragon Princes were all in a flutter. Tortoises and turtles drew in their heads; fishes, crabs, and shrimps all hid themselves away. Monkey, with the treasure in his hand, sat down by the Dragon King.

‘I am deeply grateful for my honoured neighbour’s kindness,’ he said.

‘Pray don’t mention it,’ said the Dragon King.

‘Yes, it’s a useful bit of iron,’ said Monkey, ‘but there is just one more thing I should like to say.’

‘Great Immortal,’ said the Dragon King, ‘what else have you to say?’

‘Before I had this iron,’ said Monkey, ‘it was another matter, but with a thing like this in my hand, I begin to feel the lack of anything suitable to wear with it. If you have got anything in that line, please let me have it. I should really be grateful.’

‘I have nothing at all,’ said the Dragon King.

‘You know the old saying,’ said Monkey, ‘ “one guest should not trouble two hosts”. You won’t get rid of me by pretending you haven’t got any.’

‘You might try another sea,’ said the Dragon King, ‘it’s just possible they would be able to help you.’

‘ “Better sit in one house than run to three,”’ said Monkey. ‘I insist on your finding me something.’

‘I assure you I don’t possess anything of that sort,’ said the Dragon King.’ If I did you should have it.’

‘All right,’ said Monkey. ‘I’ll try my iron on you, and we shall soon see whether you can give me one.’

‘Steady, steady, Great Immortal,’ said the Dragon King. ‘Don’t strike! Just let me find out whether my brothers haven’t got anything that you could have.’

‘Where do they live ?’ asked Monkey.’ They are the dragons of the southern, northern, and western seas,’ said the Dragon King.

‘I am not going as far as that,’ said Monkey. ‘ “Two in hand is better than three in bond.” You must find me something here and now. I don’t mind where you get it from.’

‘I never suggested that you should go,’ said the Dragon
King. ‘We’ve got an iron drum and a bronze gong here. If anything important happens, I have them sounded, and my brothers come immediately.’

‘Very well,’ said Monkey. ‘Look sharp and sound the drum and gong.’

A crocodile accordingly beat the drum and a turtle sounded the gong, and in a twinkling the three dragons arrived.

‘Brother,’ said the Dragon of the South, ‘what urgent business has made you beat the drum and sound the gong?’

‘You may well ask,’ said the Dragon King. ‘A neighbour of mine, the Sage of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit, came to me today asking for a magic weapon. I gave him the iron with which the Milky Way was pounded. Now he says he must have clothes. We have nothing of that sort here. Couldn’t one of you find me something, so that we can get rid of him?’

The Dragon of the South was furious. ‘Brothers,’ he cried, ‘let us summon men-at-arms and arrest the rascal.’

‘Out of the question!’ said the Dragon King.’ The slightest touch of that iron is deadly.’

‘It would be better not to tamper with him,’ said the Dragon of the West. ‘We’ll give him some clothes, just to get rid of him, and then we’ll complain to Heaven, and Heaven will punish him.’

‘That’s a good idea,’ said the Dragon of the North. ‘I’ve got a pair of cloud-stepping shoes made of lotus-fibre.’

‘I’ve got a cap of phoenix-plume and red gold,’ said the Dragon of the South.

‘I’ve got a jerkin of chain-mail, made of yellow gold,’ said the Dragon of the West.

The Dragon King was delighted and brought them in to see Monkey and offer their gifts. Monkey put the things on and, with his wishing-staff in his hand, strode out. ‘Dirty old sneaks,’ he called out to the dragons as he passed. In great indignation they consulted together about reporting him to the powers above.

The four old monkeys and all the rest were waiting for their king beside the bridge. Suddenly they saw him spring out of the waves, without a drop of water on him, all shining
and golden, and run up the bridge. They all knelt down, crying ‘Great King, what splendours !’ With the spring wind full in his face, Monkey mounted the throne and set up the iron staff in front of him. The monkeys all rushed at the treasure and tried to lift it. As well might a dragon-fly try to shake an ironwood-tree; they could not move it an inch.

‘Father,’ they cried, ‘you’re the only person that could lift a thing as heavy as that.’

‘There’s nothing but has its master,’ said Monkey, lifting it with one hand. ‘This iron lay in the Sea Treasury for I don’t know how many hundred thousand years, and only recently began to shine. The Dragon King thought it was nothing but black iron and said it was used to flatten out the Milky Way. None of them could lift it, and they asked me to go and take it myself. When I first saw it, it was twenty feet long. I thought that was a bit too big, so I gradually made it smaller and smaller. Now just you watch while I change it again.’ He cried ‘Smaller, smaller, smaller!’ and immediately it became exactly like an embroidery needle, and could comfortably be worn behind the ear.

‘Take it out and do another trick with it,’ the monkeys begged. He took it from behind his ear and set it upright on the palm of his hand, crying ‘Larger, larger!’ It at once became twenty feet long, whereupon he carried it up on to the bridge, employed a cosmic magic, and bent at the waist, crying’ Tall!’ At which he at once became a hundred thousand feet high, his head was on a level with the highest mountains, his waist with the ridges, his eye blazed like lightning, his mouth was like a blood-bowl, his teeth like sword-blades. The iron staff in his hand reached up to the thirty-third Heaven, and down to the eighteenth pit of Hell. Tigers, panthers, wolves, all the evil spirits of the hill and the demons of the seventy-two caves did homage to him in awe and trembling. Presently he withdrew his cosmic manifestation, and the staff again became an embroidery needle. He put it behind his ear and came back to the cave.

One day when Monkey had been giving a great banquet to the beast-monarchs of the neighbourhood, after seeing them
off and giving presents to the leaders great and small, he lay down under a pine-tree at the side of the iron bridge, and fell asleep. In his sleep he saw two men coming towards him, bearing a document on which was his name. Without giving him time to say a word, they brought out a rope and binding Monkey’s dream-body, they marched him away, presently bringing him to the outskirts of a walled city. Coming to himself and looking up, he saw that on the wall of this city was an iron placard saying’ Land of Darkness’.

‘Why,’ said Monkey to himself, suddenly realizing with an unpleasant shock where he had got to, ‘that’s where Yama, the King of Death, lives. How did I get here ?’

‘Your time in the World of Life is up,’ said the two men, ‘and we were sent to arrest you.’

‘But I have got beyond all that’ said Monkey. ‘I am no longer compounded of the Five Elements, and do not come under Death’s jurisdiction. What’s all this nonsense about arresting me?’

The two men took no notice, and continued to drag him along. Monkey now became very angry, snatched the needle from behind his ear, changed it to a formidable size, and pounded the two messengers into mincemeat. Then he freed himself from his bonds, and swinging his staff strode into the city. Bull-headed demons and horse-faced demons fled before him in terror. A mass of ghosts rushed to the palace, announcing that a furry-faced thunder-god was advancing to the attack. In great consternation the Ten Judges of the Dead tidied themselves and came to see what was afoot. Seeing Monkey’s ferocious appearance, they lined up and accosted him in a loud voice:’ Your name, please!’

‘If you don’t know who I am, why did you send two men to arrest me ?’ asked Monkey.

‘How can you accuse us of such a thing?’ they said. ‘No doubt the messengers made a mistake.’

‘I am the Sage from the Water Curtain Cave,’ said Monkey. ‘Who are you?’

‘We are the Ten Judges of the Emperor of Death,’ they said.

‘In that case,’ said Monkey, ‘you are concerned with
retribution and rewards, and ought not to let such mistakes occur. I would have you know that by my exertions I have become an Immortal and am no longer subject to your jurisdiction. Why did you order my arrest ?’

‘There’s no need to lose your temper,’ they said. ‘It’s a case of mistaken identity. The world is a big place, and there are bound to be cases of several people having the same name. No doubt our officers have made a mistake.’

‘Nonsense,’ said Monkey. ‘The proverb says “Magistrates err, clerks err, the man with the warrant never errs.” Be quick and bring out the registers of the quick and the dead, and we’ll soon see!’

‘Come this way, please,’ they said, and took him to the great hall, where they ordered the official in charge of the record to bring out his files. The official dived into a side room and came out with five or six ledgers, divided into ten files and began going through them one by one – Bald Insects, Furry Insects, Winged Insects, Scaly Insects… He gave up in despair and tried Monkeys. But the Monkey King, having human characteristics, was not there. Not however being subject to the unicorn, he did not come into any animal category, and as he was not subject to the phoenix, he could not be classed as a bird. But there was a separate file which Monkey insisted on examining himself, and there, under the heading ‘Soul 3150’, he found his own name, followed by the words ‘Parentage: natural product. Description: Stone Monkey. Life-span: 342 years. A peaceful end.’ ‘I haven’t got a life-span at all,’ said Monkey. ‘I’m eternal. I shall cross my name out. Give me a brush!’ The official hastened to provide a brush, soaked in heavy ink, and Monkey put a stroke not only through his own name, but through those of all the monkeys named in the Monkey File. Then throwing down the ledger, ‘There’s an end of the matter,’ he exclaimed. ‘Now at any rate you’ve got no hold over us!’

So saying he picked up his staff and forced his way out of the Palace of Darkness. The Ten Judges dared not protest; but all went off at once to the Kshitigarbha, Guide of the Dead, and discussed with him the advisability of laying a complaint about the matter before the Jade Emperor in Heaven. As
Monkey rushed naked out of the city, his foot caught in a coil of creeper and he stumbled. He woke with a start, and found that it had all been a dream. Sitting up, he heard the four old monkeys and the others who were mounting guard over him saying, ‘Great King, isn’t it time you woke up? You drank so heavily that you’ve been sleeping here all night.’ ‘I must have dozed off for a time,’ said Monkey, ‘for I dreamt that two men came to arrest me.’ And he told them his dream. ‘I crossed off all our names,’ he said, ‘so the fellows won’t be able to interfere with us any more.’ The monkeys kow-towed and thanked him. From that time onward it has been noticed that many mountain monkeys never grow old. It is because their names were crossed out from the registers of the King of Death.