Monkey Suits (27 page)

“The way these PATH trains are, we’ll be late for the party. C’mon,” he said as he yanked on Lee’s dick. His last stream sprayed over the toilet.

“Hey! Save that stuff for later!”

Billy Heath’s birthday celebration was a simple enough affair. Despite his declarative NO GIFTS on his copied invite, a pile of cards and wrapped boxes sat on his dresser. People chatted amicably, mostly handsome cater waiters. Some dished those who’d slept with others, a few more shared dirt from private parties.

In Billy’s kitchen, a few giggled and peered at a taped-up clipping from the latest Evening Hours page of the
New York Times
. Between large Bill Cunningham photos of Susan Gutfreund and Mick Flick dancing at the Pierre, and another of Carol Wasserman holding a drink aloft while she grinned with the Ambassador to France, a third smaller photo from a Tiffany’s Save Venice benefit featured, far in the background, a trio of young black-tied men standing at attention. A red-penned arrow pointed to Billy’s blurred image, captured for posterity in the paper of record.

“Is that really him?” someone asked as they sipped drinks and munched on chips.

The party bubbled with chatter and occasional bursts of laughter until Billy played a dance tape made especially for him by Marcos. The small living room was quickly cleared of furniture and almost everybody danced.

When Lee and Cal arrived, half a dozen guys stood around the food table munching hungrily. Billy greeted them cheerfully and took their coats to his room, setting them atop a growing pile on his bed.

“What have you brought?” he looked at the plastic tub curiously. “Oh, a lovely salad. So healthy. Put it on the table, dears. It’ll be gone in a minute.”

“Looks like things are underway,” Lee said loudly over the booming dance music. He removed his glasses to wipe off the fog caused by the humid warmth of the apartment.

“Yes, yes! Oh, you must be Calvin!” Billy extended his small hand in front of Lee, forcing him to back up.

“Hi,” Cal shook hands.

“You better put a chain on this one,” Billy smiled catlike to Lee. “Somebody might steal him and take him home for dessert.”

“I’ll do my best,” Lee assured him.

“Oh, your best may not be good enough for this crowd,” Billy glanced around in suspicion. Already several men were looking in their direction, eyeing Cal. “Man eaters, all of them.”

“I’ll be very careful,” Cal put his arm protectively around Lee’s shoulder.

“Have to be, these days,” Billy stated. “Now get yourselves a beer from the tub, or whatever you desire.” He scooted off to greet another pair of arriving guests.

“That’s quite a creature,” Cal murmured into Lee’s ear.

“Yes, he’s seen it all,” Lee said. He was about to ask Cal to get him a beer when Cal’s name was called out over the party noise.

A tall, incredibly handsome man with silver, tiger-like eyes and a wide grin embraced Cal. The two obviously knew each other well.

Lee waited to be introduced.

He wasn’t.

The large man swept Cal away. Cal turned around a second, nodding a silent, “See ya,” before disappearing down the hall. Lee turned away, determined to have a good time, despite his thought that the chain would have been a good idea.

“Do you want to go with me or not?” Ed called to Brian from the shower.

“Sure, babe!” Brian lied.

“You know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to!” Ed yelled.

“I want to!” he yelled back, stirring an overdone pot of soup. The thick mixture had boiled over onto the white enamel stove top. Brian poured it into two bowls.

“It’s okay if you don’t,” Ed turned off the shower water.

Between the kitchen doorway and the open bathroom door, Brain saw Ed, naked and wet, grabbing for a towel. He looked like an Olympic swimmer, his wide lats and smooth body dripping wet. “I want to.” He approached Ed, taking the towel from him. He scrubbed his body dry, dabbing at his legs and groin. Ed’s skin blushed pink.

“I know you don’t exactly believe in the teachings, but if you read more of–”

“Look,” Brian interrupted. “My family only went to church on Christmas Eve and Easter to show off our clothes. We weren’t even WASPy. We were WASes.”

Ed giggled.

“Church was just an extension of the country club.” He knelt down on the bathroom tile and rubbed Ed’s legs, his penis dangling precariously close to Brian’s face.

“I know, but I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“Or you just don’t want to be too far away from me for a night.”

“It’s not that.”

“You know I always come home to you.”

“I know. You still wanna go to Billy’s party after?”

“Maybe.” Brian dropped the towel to the floor. Ed stood over him, his cock growing, his hair damp, the air in the bathroom misty. Brian dropped his eyes to Ed’s crotch.

“We’ll be late.”

“Aren’t you hungry? I just burnt dinner.”

After inhaling sage and listening to three tearful coming out experiences, Brian was itching to leave the Healing Circle. As the meeting drew to a close, members of the group hugged and chatted, wiped their eyes of tears, and held hands.

“Hey babe.” Brian pulled Ed away from the others as they milled about in the dim candlelight. “Wanna go to Billy’s now?”

“No, I’m feeling really rested. I just wanna go home. You go ahead, though.”

“But ...”

“No, look. We have to realize our differences, even day to day. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or I want you to go mess around with somebody else. I need to talk about boring herbal stuff and things like that. It just means we’re spending the evening apart. Okay?”

Brian looked curiously into Ed’s eyes. He felt like a panther, pacing about in a cage, despite the fact that the door was wide open.

“Okay.”

They kissed. Brian glanced back at Ed before hopping down the stairs of the Chelsea loft. Ed was already chatting with a bearded man in a tie-dye shirt and harem pants.

He walked no more than three blocks toward Billy’s apartment when he saw a familiar face that made him want to turn around. But it was too late. They’d made eye contact.

“Hey, how ya doin?” the familiar face said. It was the other escort Brian had met at Tony’s, still wearing jeans and boots, still sporting a closely cropped haircut.

“Uh, good, how are you?”

“Good, good. Listen, I’m kind of late for a ...”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Good to see ya.”

“Yeah, take care.”

“Right.” And he was gone.

Brian sighed and walked on, wondering what face from the past would pop up around the next corner. Meeting a fellow ex-escort wasn’t half as bad as pretending to ignore an old trick or client in a bar or restaurant. Like strangers in an elevator, civil inattention was mutually agreed upon with ease. It was those milliseconds of eye contact before the abrupt turning away that made his stomach turn and his fists clench.

Billy tried to keep his eye on the party while he talked with Lee, who was rambling a bit after two beers. His glasses slid from his nose.

“It’s so different now,” Lee slurred.

“How is it different?”

Lee paused a moment, looking over the crowd of flirting partying young men and a few women.

“It used to be I saw the world and the people in it were just the moving parts of the scenery, things to grab, use, to take, to ... to fill up my time. But now I see these heads and I think, what’s in there? What’s under that beautiful head of hair or those deep blue eyes? Just because a guy’s outgoing or gets a lot of dates. I mean, what’re we doing for ourselves, for others? There’s all these other things going on in our heads, entire movies running. When you meet someone and talk and look at each other, it comes together sometimes, like, y’know, these circular pie charts in math?”

“Un-hunh.” Billy nodded, glancing back at the room full of people. Someone had set a dripping bottle of beer on one of his new speakers. A guy with a cigarette was gesturing a bit too close to his unframed
Dark Victory movie
poster.

“Where they overlap each other,” Lee continued. “That’s where the divisible numbers are, where the blue and red come together and make purple.”

Billy’s attention returned to Lee. “Now you’re talking art!” They giggled. Billy patted his shoulder. “Are you in love?”

“Yes.”

“Oohh.”

“But you know what I mean. It’s not finding someone you can admire or worship. It’s getting a balance, trusting someone to lose yourself in, and when you’re laying on him or under him and you’re close enough to count eyelashes, you can lose yourself, because you’re holding on. You take each other there, where all the numbers divide. It’s a special power, not like the power we envy.”

“Like that possessed by those we serve?”

“Right.”

“It’s too bad it doesn’t happen more often.” Billy led Lee through the apartment to the kitchen. Kevin Rook and Carissa Morgan were huddled together, leaning against the counter, discussing something private.

Billy leaned to Lee. “Ya wanna get stoned?”

Before he could answer, Brian wheeled around the kitchen doorway and hugged Lee.

“Hey!”

“You finally made it!” Billy said before leaving the kitchen. Kevin and Carissa moved out to the hall.

“Yeah, left the husband at the guru’s place.” Brian took Lee’s beer and swigged from the bottle. He looked at Lee, and nodded his head back toward the hallway, where Cal and his friend were talking. Brian’s Bennington sweatshirt echoed the fresh college look he convincingly sported. “So,” he leered. “Are you and that guy an item?”

“Maybe,” Lee said. “What do you care?”

“Aw, c’mon. I’m just interested in your well-being. I know you’ve been quite the monk these past few months. Have you ever done a threeway?”

“Are you keeping my score card?”

“Offering a menu. Is he nice?”

“Yes.”

“Are you getting serious?”

“Dunno.” Lee looked away. The refrigerator was crowded with Herb Ritts post cards. “I’d like to, but I don’t know about him.”

“Give him time,” Brian burped. “Didn’t take you long to snag me.” He grinned mischievously, recalling older times.

“Didn’t take you long to dump me, either.”

Brian didn’t reply. His eyes glistened.

“Don’t give me that look,” Lee warned, turning away to get another beer from the fridge.

“I miss you,” Brian whispered over his shoulder.

“How are things with Ed?” Lee slammed the fridge shut and snapped open the bottle, catching the erupting foam in his mouth.

“Ed’s different. He understands me.”

“Addiction,” Lee muttered.

“What?”

“An addiction. You weren’t love, just a porn video that wouldn’t stop.” He gulped more beer. It nearly froze his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re happy.”