Montana Mavericks Weddings (16 page)

 

Later, when they'd recovered, made love again and dozed for a couple of hours, Sierra glanced out the window. “It must be close to noon,” she told him. “When is Rory due back from his sleepover?”

“Not until dinnertime,” Dylan said. “You up for another round?”

She laughed. “You're not that impressive, cowboy. I doubt you could—” Something hard nudged her leg. She felt under the covers and laughed. “Okay, so maybe you could. Obviously I was wrong.”

“Damn right you were. I have a lot of time to make up for.” He grinned. “I've been thinking about this for years, Sierra. I think you're going to enjoy some of the things I've been planning.”

Her arousal was as quick as his. “I can't wait.”

He pulled her on top of him. “What would you like to start with?”

“Well, how about a conversation?”

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

She bit her lower lip, then figured she didn't have a whole lot to lose. After all, Dylan had finally convinced her that he cared about her. She wanted to be with him. Although their lives were heading in different directions and something permanent wasn't possible, they could still work out a compromise. Assuming he wanted one.

“Is the foreman job still open?” she asked.

“Of course. Are you willing to consider it?”

She nodded. “I'd like that. I can make this ranch successful for you. I'll be close enough so that we can be lovers when you're around and no one has to know. It's the perfect solution. We both get what we want without worrying about a permanent commitment.”

D
ylan sat up and stared at her. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “I want people to know that we're together. And what's all this about being with me when I'm around? Do you think I expect you to be my mistress, at my beck and call whenever the urge strikes?”

Sierra pushed her hair out of her face and smiled. “You're overreacting. I'm not going to be your mistress, in the traditional sense of the word. I would like a shot at running the ranch and I think we can be happy together.”

“But not on a permanent basis?”

“Well, not really. No.”

He couldn't believe it. He'd finally gotten her to admit she cared about him; she was willing to work
for him but she didn't want anything permanent. What the hell was going on? How had he failed?

He glared at her. “Damn it, Sierra, I want to marry you.”

She didn't even blink. “Don't be ridiculous. It would never work.”

He'd spent a lot of time in the past few weeks thinking about proposing to Sierra. He'd imagined her saying a lot of things—everything from throwing herself into his arms to telling him she would never forgive him for the past and slapping him across the face. But he hadn't imagined she would say he was ridiculous.

“I just asked you to marry me.”

“I know. It's very sweet, but completely impractical.” She slid out of bed and reached for her underwear. “I'm not a politician's wife, Dylan, and we both know it. This is my world.” She motioned toward the window. “I understand ranching. I'm good at it. I fit in. Where you want to go—” She shook her head. “I'd be a joke.”

“You'd be wonderful.” He forced himself to focus on her words and not the sight of her beautiful bare breasts. Then she slipped on her bra and the distraction was covered, although he could still see the shape and imagine what they felt and tasted like.

He shook his head to clear away the erotic images. “We belong together.”

“No, you have plans that don't include me.” She
pulled on her shirt and jeans, then began to fasten the buttons. “You've already started. I didn't realize you were running a practice that specialized in helping those in need. I really admire and respect that.”

“So what's the problem?”

“You're going into politics. You're going to move to Washington. I don't think I could do that.”

“Of course you could. You're just afraid.”

She bristled slightly. “Fear has nothing to do with it. I don't want to get in your way.” She tucked in her shirt, then sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand. “I'm not stupid. I sat in your dining room and listened to those men talk. They have plans for you. Important plans that don't include some hick from Montana.”

He didn't like the way this conversation was going. “You're not a hick. You're a smart, funny, wonderful woman and I want you at my side.”

She touched his cheek. “It's very sweet of you to say so, and I'm sure you believe it right now, but in time you'll see that I'm right. You need someone who understands where you're going. Besides, you have to think of Rory.”

“I
am
thinking of Rory. You'll be a great mother to him. He already adores you.”

“I don't know anything about raising children.”

“You've done terrific so far.”

“I've given him a couple of riding lessons and
helped with a birthday party. That does not qualify me for mother of the year.”

The growing ache in his heart made it difficult to do anything but gasp for his next breath. He couldn't have come all this way only to lose her now. He had to make her see. “Sierra, I—”

She cut him off with a quick smile. “Don't try to convince me otherwise. I know what I'm saying. For now, for as long as it's convenient, I'll run your ranch and be your lover. When you get to the point where it's important for you to marry, I'll step aside.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it's the right thing to do.”

“No.” He stood up and glared down at her. “You're taking the coward's way out. You don't love me. If you did, you couldn't stand for me to be married to someone else.”

Her eyes darkened with sadness. “It's because I love you I want you to be with the right person. Someone like Claire.”

He swore. “I've been married to someone
exactly
like Claire and it was hell. I don't want an arm-piece or a decoration. I don't even want a politically correct wife. I want a partner, someone I can love and respect and want to wake up next to for the rest of my life. I want you, Sierra. I want to tell the world that we love each other. I want everyone to know that we belong together. I love you and I want to marry you.”

She turned away, her loose hair shielding her
face from his gaze. “Don't,” she murmured. “You're making this difficult.”

“Good. I want it to be damned difficult for you to leave me.”

“I'm not leaving.”

“It looks that way from here.”

“I'm offering you everything but marriage. What else do you want from me?”

He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. Tears swam in her eyes. “I want it all,” he said quietly.

She jerked free. “You don't get it all. It's my way or forget it.”

He felt as if she'd slapped him. “Just like that?”

“Exactly like that.” She turned to leave.

Dylan watched her go because he couldn't think of any words to keep her at his side. But he would. He hadn't gotten where he was by accepting defeat. One way or the other he was going to convince Sierra that they'd been given the miracle of a second chance and neither their past, nor her fears were going to interfere with that. There was a reason he was the best in the business and Sierra was about to have that fact proven to her.

 

Sierra shoveled the smelly straw into the wheel-barrow. She didn't normally spend her day cleaning the stables, but a couple of the cowboys were down with the flu and there was extra work for everyone.
Actually she'd volunteered for this detail. If nothing else, it gave her time to think.

Her body still ached pleasurably from Dylan's lovemaking the day before. If she moved a certain way, or stiffened her legs, she felt the muscles protest and that was a wonderful and tangible reminder of what they'd done together. Who would have thought they could find each other after all this time? It was, in its own way, a miracle.

Maybe it was a mistake to love and trust him again. This time, when he left her, she wasn't sure she was going to survive. But it would be worth it, she reminded herself. After all, she hadn't been alive all this time without him. Even though it was only temporary, she would enjoy their weeks or even months. She would have a chance at making his ranch one of the most successful in the country and she would get to feel that she belonged.

She pitched fresh straw into the stall and then smoothed it. Last night, before she'd fallen asleep, she'd allowed herself to pretend. For a few minutes, she daydreamed about what her life would be like if she'd chosen to believe Dylan's proposal and had accepted it. Idle dreams that had made her smile.

But reality was very different. She wouldn't fit in where he was going. He needed someone who understood the workings of that world. She would just be a liability to him. It was love that made her refuse his proposal. Love, not fear.

A voice in the back of her mind whispered a single word. “Liar.”

She straightened. “I'm not lying,” she said aloud. “This is better for Dylan. I don't belong there.”

But even she couldn't bring herself to believe that…not completely. If she let herself trust him enough to marry him, then she would have no control over the future. She would have to take a step of faith, with nothing but his promise standing between her and certain emotional destruction. A promise that he'd broken once, so many years ago. If she refused him and forced him into a relationship on her terms, then she was still going to get hurt, but she got to say when and how much. She could control her emotional involvement and therefore her pain. The whole concept didn't make her feel very good about herself, but it offered sure survival. The other way—She shook her head. She couldn't even think about what might happen that way.

She wiped the sweat off her brow and knew it was going to take more than one shower to wash away the smell of horse manure. She moved to the next stall and reached for the shovel.

“You're looking mighty fierce about something,” a man said.

Sierra jumped and turned toward the doorway. Ben Radisson stood silhouetted in the morning sun.

“This is high concentration work,” she said and smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” He took a couple of steps closer and nodded toward the stall. “This is how I paid for my car when I was in high school,” he said. “I was hell on wheels.”

“I'll bet you were. And I'll bet you still are.”

He winked. “Could be.” He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Little lady, we've got ourselves a problem.”

Her heart sank. Had Dylan told them about her going to work for him? Was a single woman living on his ranch going to be trouble for the campaign? “What's that?”

“Dylan told me about the arrangement you two had come to. I don't think the voters will object to a man hiring a woman as his foreman, what with this being the nineties and all, but the cohabitation is another matter.”

She swallowed. “I see.” She managed to get out the words without stumbling over them, but it was hard. She'd hoped that she would have a little time with him before she had to give him up again. “You want me to step aside.”

“No, I want you to think about marrying the boy.”

Her mouth dropped open but she couldn't speak.

“I know what you're thinking. He's a sorry excuse for a fellow, what with him being such a bleeding heart about some things.”

“He's not,” she said quickly. “He's wonderful and idealistic. He's damn good at what he does, and you
know it. If he wasn't, you wouldn't be interested. You people are lucky a man like Dylan is interested in running for office at all. You don't deserve him.”

“But you do?”

That knowing gaze warned her she'd fallen neatly into a trap. Sierra leaned the shovel against the stall wall and pulled off her gloves. “I don't know what I deserve. Everything is a little confusing right now.”

Ben touched her arm. “I know what you're thinking, Sierra. You think Dylan needs some senator's daughter to smooth his way. For most candidates, I'd agree with you, but not Dylan. He'll do things however he wants to because that's how he's always done them. Did you know I met Claire once?”

Great. She glanced down at her stained shirt and grimaced. So much for impressing anyone. “No, I didn't.”

“She's an attractive woman. On the outside. But on the inside, she's cold and self-centered. Marrying Dylan means wading in some horse manure a lot deeper than this.” He motioned to the stall. “He needs someone who isn't afraid of hard work. You're smart and you learn fast. You're exactly what he needs. So why are you so afraid to be a part of the one thing you've always wanted?”

She looked into those wise brown eyes and knew she couldn't answer the question. She was just afraid. Of being hurt, of not surviving it this time, of losing the dream. But was keeping the dream alive better
than taking a chance on making it real? It shouldn't be, and yet she was acting as if it was.

“I'll think about what you said,” she told him. “That's the best I can offer right now.”

“I can't ask for more than that.” He winked. “Okay, I can ask for it, but I know to quit while I'm ahead.”

He walked out of the barn and Sierra was left alone to try to figure out if she had the courage to take another chance on love.

 

Kirk stalked into her bedroom without knocking and planted his hands on his hips. “You're not living with him. You got that?”

Sierra looked up from the book she'd been pretending to read. “I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about,” she said, even though she knew exactly what Kirk meant.

“I just spoke with Dylan. He told me about your plan. I think you'd be a great foreman, but no sister of mine is going to shack up with some guy. Not unless you marry him.”

She rose to her feet and stood toe-to-toe with her brother. Unfortunately he topped her by several inches and didn't seem the least bit impressed by her angry stance.

“You want me to marry Dylan? I don't think so.”

Kirk had the grace to look uncomfortable. “I'm willing to admit I might have misjudged the guy.”

“How did that happen? You get a message in a dream?”

“We talked.” He said the words grudgingly.

She raised her eyebrows. “You mean he talked and you listened.”

“Yeah, something like that. Look, Sierra, it's been a long time and things have changed. At first I wasn't sure he was right for you, but maybe he is, you know? The guy is a mess. I think he really needs you in his life.”

She turned away and crossed to the small window. “I feel as if I'm being maneuvered into making a decision before I'm ready,” she said. “I don't think I like that.”

“I thought you'd already decided that you weren't going to marry Dylan.”

“I have.”

“So he's just trying to change your mind. Is that so bad?”

Was it? Did she mind that Dylan wanted to be with her so much he would mount a calculated campaign to win her? Did that mean he really cared about her? Was that so horrible?

“I don't know,” she admitted. “I don't know what to think.”

Kirk came up behind her and hugged her close. “It can be scary, but it's worth it. I know. When love finally caught me, I didn't know what hit me. You deserve this, Sierra. Don't let him get away again.”