Moondance (35 page)

“Yes she is, and it’s not that simple. At the time, I would have done anything to make her happy. I knew what she wanted. I also knew I could help out, but that helping out would mean I would have to reconcile with my family. And it would mean bendin’ the rules.”

“Your family in New Orleans. Your mother.”

“She left New Orleans, a scandal, had to do with my natural father, but that’s another story. But what Sophie did, was to help me do right by my mother, brothers and sister, while she learned some things she wanted to learn. My mother adored Sophie, took her under her wing. And Sophie was like a sponge, single-minded.”

“So she learned. How to bend the rules.”

“Right. She learned the Chauncy magic. She was determined that she and Gregory would be together. If not in this life, then in the next.”

“She got pregnant with me.”

“That came later. When Sophie learned what she needed to learn, I had second thoughts. I tried talking her out of it. We were split up for a while. During that time, Sophie had an affair, Harlan, a buddy of mine. He used to hang around sometimes, traveled around, sort of a drifter.”

With every step Althea took, the past as she knew it seemed further away. Yet one image, an
impression
, that had always been fleeting, at this moment, never seemed more real.

“When I was a little girl, I used to dream about my father and brother, imagine what they looked like. Sometimes, I’d dream about a man with long legs and red hair. Sometimes, I still do.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Harlan,” Albert chuckled. “Way back in the beginning, I liked him, he was well read, hell of a drummer,
just —”

“A bit of a drifter.”

“Yeah, a lost soul. Not mean, but completely irresponsible. He came around the house a couple of times after you were born, and after Sophie and I got back together. He never knew for sure about you. He never knew I knew about the two of them. Lost track of him after that. Didn’t encourage much. Just let him go.”
Harlan
, Althea thought.
My father
.

“That must have been hard for you.”

She looked at Albert’s face, which she expected to be sad. He met her gaze, and his eyes were shining, his eyebrows raised.
You’re not on earth, honey chile
. Althea smiled back at him.

“It wasn’t easy,” Albert said. “Some days, I didn’t know whether I was comin’ or goin’. I was drinkin’ again for a while. Then I saw you and it became clear. Sophie wanted me to stay. So eventually, I stayed for good.”

“Is Harlan alive?”

“Yes he is.” Althea’s heart sped up.
Her father. Alive
.

“Can I see him?” Albert’s eyes flashed up as if consulting someone, and nodded. “That will be up to you.”

“Where is Sophie now? Is she dead?”

“Well, that’s hard to explain chile, but I’ll do the best I can. When we die physically, our spirits or energy or whatever you want to call it, lives on. We can stay on this side in order to learn, or, depending on what we need, we can return to earth.” Althea was confused.

“Let’s say it this way. Sophie and my mother cooked up the monster of all love spells. In order to put her plans into action, Sophie believed she had to coordinate her own death, at an exact moment, in an exact way.”

“What happened to Gregory?”

“The soul known as Gregory is back on earth and Sophie found him.”
We were bendin’ the rules
. Althea still didn’t understand. She had so many questions.

“And that’s okay, my dear. I’m not here to provide you with all the answers. As a matter of fact, I can’t supply all the answers. There’s still some work for you to do. In time, you may understand. Right now, all you have to do is trust yourself. And deep down, I know you’re ready. That’s what brought you here.”

Albert had shared as much as he was going to share. At least for now. The sun was now lower in the sky, cushioned by clouds of warm lavender. She could feel the moon close by and felt a twinge of excitement.

“Will I see you again?”

“Yes. Even if you can’t see me, I’ll be there. That’s what I do. All you have to do is be open and I’ll try my best to help you, though it’s not always through words. Understand?”

Althea did. They got up from the bench and she took his hand. He walked her to the edge of the clearing, which contracted around them as they moved. He stopped, and he walked her in a circle as if they were dancing, his smile wide and hand outstretched. Althea smiled back at him and then closed her eyes, letting Albert guide her. She caught a fragment of his thoughts.

“I am being granted a choice.”

“Now you’re getting’ it, li’l miss. You’re heading off to the place where you’ll choose. It’s close, right next door.” Althea walked, her circle becoming smaller, Albert’s hand squeezing hers
Walk one two
. She squeezed back
Walk
.

He was gone.

chapter 56

WALK ONE TWO WALK crunch walk. Her eyes were still closed. She was alone. A breeze cooled her face.

In her mind’s eye, she could see what she was wearing — practical walking shoes, thick white socks. She had lightly tanned legs, and she was walking over fine-packed white sand, which shimmered like ground diamonds, crunching with each step she took. She opened her eyes. The path was similar to the one on which she and Albert walked, but different, more open somehow.
Just next door
.

She took some time to absorb what was around her. There was forest, thick with shrubs, and flowering plants of all kinds. When she was with Albert, they had been alone. On this path, there were others. Families passed by looking at her with the same secret look she received from bikers, joggers and dog-walkers behind Sophie’s house. A young man sat on a bench, with a dog at his side, engrossed in conversation. A woman with bleached hair, black sunglasses and red lips walked, her hips rolling, glancing at Althea briefly.

Brown-haired twin boys biked with their father, balloons trailing behind them. Two women a generation apart walked arm in arm. They smiled at her as if to confirm that, though they were walking the opposite way, she was going in the right direction.

She felt a tingling energy. She recognized it as the anticipation that she sometimes experienced at the cusp of change — the day she got into the
MBA
program, the day she decided to move into Sophie’s apartment, the day she started at White Light. Even the day she went to visit Kevin in Kingston. It was like that, but tenfold — not a change in
life
but a change in destiny — a high-spirited sweet-bursting exhilaration.

To her left, there was a small break in the trees, an offshoot of the path, curving out of sight. She walked by. A granite boulder with glowing veins of orange and green caught her eye. She stopped. The stone was warm to the touch. Affixed to its flat, polished surface was a crystal topaz plate. In the crystal, was an inscription which read “Welcome to The Walk. This mile is sponsored by the Samson family.”

Curious, she kept walking, her eyes staring comfortably into the sun. Heeding a nudge of intuition, she stopped suddenly, looking to the left, then to the right. She smiled when she realized what she had sensed. This place had no shadows.

Each glassy crunch of her step lulled her into a heightened state of relaxation and acceptance. Althea tilted her head back, buoyed by the sun and the simple exhilaration of being in the present.

• • •

AT FIRST, SHE NOTICED that her own steps had gained depth, like the subwoofer of her stereo. The sound split, and another set of footsteps settled in behind her. The air was now thicker, floral, heady and warm, and she knew. Her senses were immediately awake.

“It’s me, Al.” The voice was soft, slightly musical. “Thought I should
stop by so I can make sure you don’t get lost.” Hot tears stung her eyes and she smiled.

“Soooo whaddyaa say? Want some company?”

She nodded. In this place, she didn’t need to speak.
Sound was too limiting
. Even his voice wasn’t really a voice. It was more like intuitive understanding. His arm looped casually around her waist, as if they had walked this way a thousand times before. Leaning into him, Althea was overwhelmed with how warm he was, how familiar he was to her. Remembering how it felt to look at him, she opened her eyes, and gazed straight ahead.

“You’re the reason I’m here?”

“You’re the reason, as I understand it. You think I’ve come to you, but really, I’ve always been here. I became stronger as your desire grew. You sort of willed me to life. Even when you were fighting me, you were asking for me. All I did was accept your invitation.”

“I’m confused. I thought —”

“That I was your soul mate, the one you wished for, the love of your life?”

“Yes, I —” she stopped, suddenly embarrassed.

“Oh, Al, I’m sorry, I keep forgetting how new this is to you. I have something to do with that, of course. But not only that.”

“But you’re the same. You seduced me, you overwhelmed me. I can tell it was you. But it hurt to look at you.”

“I wanted you to look. But you weren’t ready. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“And now?”

“Now you’re ready to know.”

His voice slowed, all irreverence gone. He stopped and turned her toward him. For the first time Althea looked into his eyes, and her heart was infused, not with pain, but recognition. When he spoke, it was like coming home.

“I am you.”

The face she gazed into was unlike any face she had ever seen. Eyes that were sparkling jewel green, with white skin and dark hair, pulled back so the length was indistinct. He had a full mouth, not unlike her own, high cheekbones and a familiar mischievous smile. His face was striking, androgynous, smooth as silk. He was beautiful. Part of her. And not human.

“Labels don’t matter here. I don’t always take on a human shape. You created how I’d look, so here I am. Like you created this place.”

“You’re a spirit, then.”

“Not that simple. In your reality, I’m ... how can I describe it. The manifestation of your desire. The part of you that you hid from yourself.”

“I pushed you away.”

“Did I say that?” He laughed. “I suppose I did. As for your soul mate, he does exist, there’s more than one for you, actually, but it’s not because of him that we’re here. It was your desire which invited me to take a more active role in your life.”

“My wish?”

“That started some things in motion, yes. But go back further. Think about the anger you had for Sophie about your father. I was there when you first chose to forgive her. Then later, remember the devastation you felt after you lost Tori and Kevin. And what happened right after.”

“The first time I saw you. Outside of myself.”

“Right. But you’re here today, not because of those experiences, but because in the end, you desired the truth.”

“So you represent something in me.”

“Yes. But boundaries are not cut and dry here.”

“I’m figuring that out.”

“You catch on fast. You already know that you’re closely connected to other souls — like Celia, for instance, and of course, like Sophie. And karmic relationships, like Tori, or Kevin. And others —”

“Like Michelle.”

“Right. And many, many more.”

“It sounds complicated.”

“It is, and it’s also the simplest thing. In this plane, we continue to grow, we never stop, really. I don’t think that I could describe how it all works to you ... even if I could, this isn’t what I am supposed to do for you.

So you see, when you had the desire, first to understand
why
, then for a soul mate, even when it was unconscious in the beginning, I came to you. I am the missing part of yourself, the part you were hiding from, your greatest fears and your greatest potential, and until you were prepared to face me, you would have been stuck in the circle of your present reality.”

“What about him, the one I wished for. You said he exists?”

“Yes he does. While I’ve been coming to you, at times, he’s also asked me to come. Me and others. We could be called his inspiration. He hasn’t always been open to us. His is another story. Today, it’s all about you.”

They walked for some time in silence. Althea was feeling a bit dazed. She rested her head on his shoulder, and his arm crossed gently across her back and clasped her hand. She looked up and into his eyes. He looked more and more familiar to her. The green was less intense now, his skin tanned. He was changing.

“You notice everything, don’t you, Al.” His voice had the lightness back. His hair was longer and lighter than she remembered. He didn’t look as tired. She recognized him.

“I fucked up.”

“You both had choices.”

“I didn’t see.”

“True, you weren’t always receptive. But the biggest part was that you didn’t understand yourself. And when people engage each other without understanding their own truth, whatever that is, intimacy becomes impossible. Well,” he chuckled, “Sex can happen. But having
sex isn’t the same as being intimate. Neither is marriage, for that matter.
Do you understand?”