Moondance of Stonewylde (5 page)

The willows whispered all around him, offering their sympathy and comfort. The waxing moon shone brightly again, fuller than last night. Everything gleamed in the moonlight. Fish came up to the surface by the silver reeds of the river bank, their mouths circles as they gulped at the gnats just above the water. There was a movement upstream. Yul saw the glossy head of an otter, its blunt skull clear against the water as it headed in a V-shaped ripple towards the fish. It dived smoothly, long body sinuous and slick in the moonlit water, and disappeared. Yul stood up and gazed at the stars, the noise and merriment from the Village seeming very distant. He felt, as ever, alone and on the outside. The only one who’d broken through his isolation to touch his soul was forbidden to him. Alwyn might have fallen, but happiness seemed no closer.

A week later, the holiday now over, Miranda had just finished teaching her class when Magus walked into the schoolroom.

‘Are you free for a while?’

‘Yes!’ Miranda said breathlessly, standing up from her desk. He smiled and led her out through the French windows onto the stone terrace. They stood looking over the lawns, watching swallows soar and swoop in the blue skies. She leant against him and he put an arm around her, holding her close. She closed her eyes in bliss, unaware that Magus was surreptitiously looking at his watch on the other wrist. A group of blond children ran onto the lawn breaking the silence.

‘Let’s go into the formal garden,’ he suggested. ‘We can be more private there.’

She nodded eagerly, and as they strolled along the raked gravel paths, Magus took her hand.

‘Did you enjoy the Midsummer Holiday?’

‘Oh yes, it was lovely.’

‘And still no sign of your period?’

She looked up at him quickly.

‘No. I’m never usually late. I really think I am pregnant.’

‘That’s wonderful, Miranda. Hazel can do a test, if you like.’

‘Yes, I’d like to know for sure. I’m a little worried, and …’

He stopped and turned her to face him, tilting her chin so she had no choice but to look straight into his dark eyes as he held her shoulders.

‘Why? Do you think I won’t take care of you? You know how it is at Stonewylde, Miranda. Babies are considered a blessing, something to celebrate.’

She tried to look away.

‘What?’

‘It’s just … what about us? Our relationship? I don’t know where I stand with you. I know you like me and when we’re together it’s wonderful. But then you don’t come near me for days on end, and—’

‘Oh Miranda,’ he sighed, ‘you must understand – I can’t have normal relationships like other people.’

‘But why not?’

‘Because I’m the magus and you know what that means. I have to look after everyone in the community and there are hundreds of people here. I can’t commit myself to one person – it wouldn’t be fair.’

‘But I still don’t see why not. Don’t you want a partner by your side to help you? I could—’

‘If that’s a proposal, Miranda, I’m sorry but the answer’s no. I won’t—’

‘No!’ she said, cheeks flaming scarlet. ‘I didn’t mean marriage. I just thought perhaps as partners …’

She stopped, hating herself for being so desperate, for making herself so vulnerable. Magus let his hands drop and continued walking, so she had to fall in by his side.

‘I apologise if I’ve led you to think I’m free or indeed willing to commit myself to a monogamous relationship. I’m not, and I’m afraid that’s how it is and always will be. I could never be tied to one woman. I don’t think I ever promised you that, did I?’

‘No,’ she said in a small voice. ‘You never promised me anything.’

‘But we can be together sometimes, Miranda, and I do promise that when we are, I’m all yours. This baby will be loved and wanted, and will grow up lacking nothing. Of course, you’re free to terminate the pregnancy if …’

‘Oh no – I want your baby!’ she said. ‘As long as I know you care for me, I’ll just have to accept that I must share you with the community. I suppose I have no other option really. But, Magus, I am special to you, aren’t I?’

He hugged her, taking the opportunity to check the time again, and chuckled.

‘Of course you are. But, Miranda, don’t get possessive with me, will you?’

‘No, of course not. Our relationship will be special because of the baby and your feelings for me, but it’ll be fun and lighthearted too, if that’s what you want.’

‘Good! I’m so glad you understand and we’ve got that sorted out. So, how’s Sylvie taking the news that you might be expecting a baby? She obviously realises it’s mine?’

‘Oh yes. She seems fine about it – not bothered at all. She’s quite distracted at the moment.’

They’d come to one of the alcoves in the clipped hedging and Magus took her in to sit on the wooden seat. He put his arm around her, his long fingers brushing her breast idly. She closed her eyes and sighed, every nerve ending jangling at his touch.

‘Are you keeping a close watch on her to make sure she doesn’t see that boy?’

‘Yes I am, and she hasn’t.’

‘Mmn. I still want her watched. I’m going away in a few days’ time and you must ensure they stay apart while I’m gone.’

‘How long for? Where are you going?’

‘Just business. And for less than a month.’

‘A month?’ she squeaked.

‘I have a company in London to run, remember. But I’ll be popping back now and again. You must promise you’ll watch Sylvie and keep her well away from Yul.’

‘Of course, although I think you’re worrying needlessly.’

‘Let’s hope so. The other thing I need to talk to you about is this full moon business. Tell me, has she always been affected by it?’

Miranda shrugged, wanting to talk about the baby and their relationship, not Sylvie and her moon madness.

‘More or less. But it was getting worse as she grew older. I didn’t realise it was happening here. I thought it was all part of her illness in London and that she’d got over it. I thought she was fine here.’

‘Well she clearly isn’t, and we can’t have her wandering around Stonewylde in the dark meeting up with unsuitable boys in the woods, like she did last month. Anything could happen, couldn’t it? So tonight I’ll keep an eye on her myself.’

‘Yes, of course, Magus. It’s a full moon tonight then?’

‘Yes, and I want you to leave her alone. Come up to the Hall for dinner and stay here till after the moon rise so she’s on her own in the cottage. I promise I won’t let her come to any harm. I just need to see how she behaves, what she does. I might be able to help her, of course, as I did with her other illnesses. I also want to see if she’ll try to meet the boy in secret behind our backs, despite her promises.’ He stood up briskly. ‘I must be off. That’s settled then, about tonight? You’re not to worry, Miranda. You know I’ll look after her.’

‘Of course, Magus,’ she said trustingly.

‘Sylvie will always be safe with me,’ he said softly, leading her back up the garden path.

All day the tension rose within her until by early evening Sylvie thought she’d explode with it. She felt the familiar tingling inside; the increasing sense of being trapped indoors and needing to get outside and up somewhere high. She was also excited at the prospect of seeing Yul alone; it was so long since they’d been together. She was relieved when, at six o’clock, Miranda announced she was leaving for the Hall for dinner and wouldn’t be around that evening.

‘Are you coming too, darling?’ Miranda asked innocently.

‘No, I’m not hungry. I’ll have a sandwich and stay here.’

‘Sure you’ll be alright?’

‘Yes!’

‘You know it’s the full moon tonight?’

‘Do you really think I’d be unaware of that?’

‘No need to be rude, Sylvie. And I want to make sure you understand you’re not to go out gallivanting with that boy.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

‘Magus wanted me to remind you that you’re forbidden to see each other.’

‘That man makes me sick! Who does he think he is – dictating who I can and can’t see!’

‘Sylvie! Anyway, I’m your mother and
I’m
telling you not to see Yul. You’re only just fifteen and he’s not suitable company for you – running around the woods and getting up to goodness knows what. It’s not just Magus telling you, it’s me too and I have every right.’

Sylvie glared sullenly at her mother, hating her at that moment. She was being so unfair, judging Yul only by what Magus had told her. The Miranda from the old days would’ve made up her own mind – and would’ve liked Yul very much.

‘Actually, I’m quite surprised you’re not off gallivanting yourself up at that horrible rock on the cliff with your picnics and incense and tent-pegs.’

‘Sylvie! I—’

‘You’re such a hypocrite, Mum! All
I
want to do is watch the moon rise in the company of a very sweet boy I like.
You’re
the one going off having sex with a man you barely know and getting yourself pregnant!’

‘How dare you, Sylvie! You make it sound so sordid.’

‘Well it is sordid!’

‘No it’s not! Magus cares for me and he’s really pleased there might be a baby. I have a special relationship with him. We were talking about it today, in fact. Anyway, we don’t know yet for sure that I’m expecting.’

‘So why isn’t he seeing you tonight if he cares for you so
much? What happened to the moonlight picnics in the tent? The rugs and cushions on the rock? Maybe he doesn’t want you so much now he’s made you pregnant.’

Miranda picked up her jacket and gave her daughter a cold glance.

‘Magus has already explained to me that he has business to attend to this evening, so he won’t be free to see me. I’ll speak to you tomorrow about your behaviour, when you’ve calmed down. I won’t have you talking like this, Sylvie. You must stop being so hostile and rebellious towards Magus. You liked him when we first came here and I don’t see why your opinion has changed so much.’

‘Because now I know the truth about him,’ Sylvie muttered.

‘If I’m to be the mother of his baby, Magus will be a major part of our lives and you’ll just have to get used to it. Have a nice evening, Sylvie, and remember to stay away from that boy. Or there’ll be serious consequences.’

‘Good riddance!’ snapped Sylvie as the door closed behind her mother. But she cheered up at the news that Magus was busy for the evening. She could now enjoy Yul’s company without fear of being found out. She decided to change into the beautiful moongazy dress as Yul had suggested; she wanted to look lovely for him.

By eight o’clock Sylvie was ready. She felt a sharp thrill of excitement deep inside that was nothing to do with the lunar cycle. Half an hour later she could barely sit down. She paced the room, her feet padding up and down the floorboards, the gauzy grey and silver dress floating out around her in soft webs. It was a warm evening, the sky clear but for a few small clouds melting to gold as the sun began its descent. Sylvie was frantic to get outside and finally could stand it no longer. She opened the front door and stepped into the evening, breathing in the balmy golden air.

I shall dance with the hares and sparkle like quicksilver. Yul is the darkness to my brightness, the earth magic and moon magic joined as one!

She skipped to the gate, her feet hardly touching the ground. Her hair flowed around her bare arms and shoulders like a veil of silvery-white silk. She fumbled with the gate and then she was free, speeding up the path towards the woods. But something loomed ahead blocking her way; a tall shape that grabbed her by the arms, smiling grimly into her face as she tried to wriggle away.

‘Going somewhere, Sylvie?’ asked Magus.

Y
ul sat under a tree listening to the soft call of wood pigeons, the peace of the golden evening like a mantle around him. He thrilled with anticipation. She’d be here soon, dancing up the path on light feet, hair rippling about her. He smiled to himself and felt a knot of excitement in the pit of his stomach. It seemed ages since they’d been alone together properly; not since the eve of the Summer Solstice under the yew tree. He wondered if their new intimacy would make tonight any different from the other Moon Fullnesses they’d spent together. Maybe afterwards, when she’d danced and sung and the desperation had calmed, they’d be able to talk. He wanted so much to hold her tight and kiss her again. He’d spent the past week dreaming about kissing her. He closed his eyes at the thought of it and sighed deeply. Not long now.

Sylvie tried to free herself from the iron grip, her hair flying about her face as she pulled and wriggled.

‘Not so fast, Sylvie! I think you’ve forgotten our deal, haven’t you? You’re off to meet up with a certain young man whom you’ve been forbidden to see, aren’t you?’

‘Let me go! I must go!’

‘Oh no you don’t! You’re staying with me, young lady.’

‘No, no, I can’t stay here! I must be up there! You let me go, you let me go—’

Magus lifted her bodily and clamped a hand over her mouth as
she struggled and shrieked. He hauled her back to the gate and in through the open front door of the cottage, kicking it shut behind him, and dumped her on the sofa. She sprang up immediately so he pushed her down and sat next to her. He turned to face her, his strong hands clamped around her wrists like manacles.