Moonlight and Ashes (44 page)

His lip trembled as he tried to be brave. Just twenty more minutes or so and they would be home. But could they make it? Lifting his head, he peered up at the sky through his fingers, and the sight that he saw made him suck his breath in. Multi-coloured incendiary bombs were drifting gracefully to earth on tiny parachutes, but the second they hit the ground the sound of the explosions they made was deafening.

‘On second thoughts, we’d ’ave bin better off to wait back there wiv the train,’ Gus shouted to him above the noise.

Danny nodded, but it was too late to do anything about it now. Bombs were dropping all around them, so they would be in as much danger if they tried to retrace their steps as go forward.

‘I’m so sorry I dropped you in all this mess, Gus,’ he muttered miserably. Gus’s cold fingers snaked across the ground to squeeze his hand encouragingly.

‘Don’t be daft. We’re best mates, ain’t we? An’ mates stick together through thick an’ thin.’

Danny felt his heart swell, but now was not the time for expressing their feelings so they rose and started off again. They found themselves tramping across piles of rubble, and now the plaintive cries of people who had been hurt could be heard. They saw a terrified woman clutching a baby in her arms suddenly run out of a house into the street ahead of them, and even as they watched in horrified fascination, a bomb landed within feet of her, and tossed her into the air as if she weighed no more than a feather. The baby was thrown from her arms and landed like a little rag doll on a heap of broken bricks that had once been someone’s home.

Danny’s hand flew to his mouth as he stopped in his tracks, unable to take in the sight he had just seen. Fires were springing up all around them, and the streets were full of terrified people running this way and that.

He turned to say something to Gus, who was no more than a few yards behind him, just in time to see a bomb hurtling towards him. Panic set in. He opened his mouth to scream a warning but the words stuck in his throat, and suddenly everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

Gus smiled at him then suddenly the bomb exploded and he seemed to be flying into the air. Albert fell from his top pocket and Danny watched in horror as the little creature plummeted towards the ground, to land with his head at an unnatural angle. Gus fell within feet of him and Danny raced across the debris to kneel beside him.

‘A . . . Albert . . .’

With tears streaming down his dirty face, Danny scurried over to the tiny creature and carried his lifeless little body back to his master. Laying him on Soho Gus’s chest, he sobbed as he saw a single tear slide from the corner of Gus’s eye.

‘Oh, Soho Gus, I’m so sorry I got you into this.’

Gus struggled to say something, but instead of words, blood spurted from his mouth when he opened it to speak. As Danny clutched his hand, the other boy tried to smile, but then his eyes suddenly became frantic as he stared at something behind Danny. Turning, Danny saw yet another bomb plummeting towards him and then suddenly the pain in his heart was gone and a comforting darkness enclosed him.

 

Earlier in the night, when the sounds of the sirens had pierced the air, Beryl had cursed, ‘Oh, God love us! Not
another
bloody raid.’ She’d almost fallen out of her brass bed and fumbled in the dark for her faded old dressing-gown.

Doors opening and shutting on the landing told her that the siren had woken the others too. Emerging from her bedroom, she’d found Jo propped against the landing wall. Her face was ashen and she looked as if she were about to throw up at any minute. Beryl had ushered her towards the top of the stairs. ‘Go on down, love,’ she’d urged. ‘Get yerself as comfortable as yer can in the cupboard under the stairs. I’ll be down to join yer when I’ve rounded Maggie an’ David up.’

Jo had lurched away, gripping her stomach as David stumbled from his room, swiping the sleep from his eyes with his one good hand. He’d shot her a withering glance as she’d stepped past him and then she was gone, her footsteps making almost no sound at all on the worn stair-runners. Beryl had been concerned to see that he didn’t look much better than Jo, and she cursed the Jerries under her breath. Why did they have to choose tonight of all nights? Her poor son looked as if a good night’s sleep would have done him a power of good. Within seconds, Maggie had appeared too and Beryl had begun to push them along the landing.

They had only gone a few steps when David suddenly stopped dead, causing Maggie to bump into the back of him.

‘You two go on down,’ he told them, as sweat stood out on his brow. ‘I’m going to take my chances up here.’ He was too ashamed to admit that he couldn’t face the close confines of the cupboard under the stairs.

Sensing his panic, Maggie turned to Beryl and told her, ‘You go down to Jo. I’ll stay here for a while with David.’

Beryl had opened her mouth to protest but something about the set of Maggie’s mouth made her shuffle away to do as she was told. She had barely disappeared down the steep stairwell when David had begun to shake like a leaf.

Taking his good arm, Maggie calmly led him back to his room where she pressed him down onto the bed and sat close beside him. ‘It’s all right,’ she muttered soothingly. ‘I’ll stay with you.’

His face when he turned it to her had brought tears stinging to her eyes. He’d looked so old suddenly, and nothing like the handsome man who had gone away to war.

Deeply ashamed, he’d hung his head as the sound of the first bombs dropping reached them through the walls of the house. It was almost pitch black with the blackout curtains closely drawn, but even so Maggie sensed that he was crying and her heart went out to him. What terrible sights he must have seen, she’d thought to herself as she gently stroked his hand and uttered words of comfort. They’d sounded inadequate even to her own ears, so eventually she fell silent and they sat shoulder to shoulder listening to the devastation that was going on all around them. Very soon the smell of burning reached them and Maggie had to suppress a shudder. What would they find when they emerged from the house this time?
If
they emerged, that was.

 

Downstairs, crouched in the cupboard under the stairs, Jo hadn’t been feeling much better as she saw in her mind over and over again the way David had looked at her on the landing. As if she were nothing more than something dirty stuck to the sole of his shoes. But then, could she really blame him? She
was
dirty, to all intents and purposes. An unmarried mother; a former prostitute not even aware of who the father of her unborn child was. Feeling her shudder, Beryl had wrapped an arm about her slim shoulders.

‘Don’t worry, love. It’ll all be over again soon, an’ then happen we can get back to us beds.’

Her sympathy had the opposite effect to what she’d intended, for Jo had suddenly burst into heartbroken sobs.

‘Do yer know somethin’, Beryl, I ain’t much bothered one way or the other at the minute. I mean,
look
at me . . . David thinks I’m scum, an’ happen he’s right.’

Beryl had been appalled as she rocked her to and fro. ‘My son doesn’t know the half of why yer did what yer did, me gel, so let’s hear no more o’ that silly talk, eh?’

Jo had fallen silent. The bottle of castor oil she had drunk earlier that night was beginning to make her feel even queasier than usual now. She could still taste the grease on her lips, imagine the sliminess as it had slipped down her throat, but would it have the desired effect?

Up until the last couple of weeks when she had started to show a little she’d thought she could go through with it, but now she wasn’t so sure. After all, what life would she have after it was born - or the child, for that matter? She would always be known as a loose woman then, and the child would be branded a bastard. No, it would be far better if the castor oil worked and she lost it. At least then she would have some chance of living a normal life. Only the week before, she’d boiled some copper pennies up in a saucepan and then somehow managed to drink the water. She had heard somewhere that this was a surefire way to get rid of unwanted pregnancies, but all it had done was make her be twice as sick as she normally was.

Just the thought of it now made vomit rise in her throat, and pushing Beryl aside, she had crawled towards the door.

‘Where the bloody ’ell do yer think
you’re
goin’?’ Beryl had gasped as Jo thrust the door open. Jo’s only answer had been a strangled groan as she clamped her hand across her mouth and made a dash for the yard.

 

Once again, the bombing had seemed to go on forever. Somehow, Maggie found herself curled into David’s side as the pair of them finally lay down on the bed. And yet, for all their closeness they were both aware that nothing was as it had been between them. The old attraction had gone. Perhaps it’s because neither of us are the people we were any more, Maggie pondered. Far too much had happened, and they both knew it. Sam was dead now, and yet strangely, they could both feel his presence far more strongly than they ever had when he’d been alive. He was still there between them, and Maggie suspected that he always would be.

David had thought of his twin brother too, and his heart was breaking. How would Maggie feel if he were ever to tell her that Sam was the cause of him losing part of his arm? He’d stared up at the ceiling, his eyes heavy with unshed tears. She must never know, even though he had longed for moments of closeness like this.

He was no longer the man he had once been, and never would be again. Maggie deserved someone better than him. Not half a man; a helpless cripple who would never even be able to hold down a proper job.

The tears had spilled silently down his cheeks then, at the injustice of it all. He had loved Maggie for as far back as he could remember, yet now their beloved daughter was dead, and it seemed they were destined never to be together.

Silently they lay, a breath apart, each locked in their own secret agony.

 

The next morning, after the all clear had sounded, the people of Coventry emerged from their homes to survey the damage. Bewildered and tired, they looked at the latest devastation the bombs had caused, and their hearts broke a little bit more. Flames licked up into the sky, and many more homes were gone, changing the landscape yet again. But still they were not defeated and the rescue operations began all over again as Union Jacks appeared amongst the rubble.

‘Eeh! I don’t know. It makes yer wonder what will become of us,’ Beryl muttered as she pushed the kettle into the heart of the fire. Once more the gas and electric were off, but that was the least of their worries. At least their home was still standing, which was a lot more than could be said for other unfortunate souls.

‘What are yer goin’ to do now, about goin’ to see the twins, I mean?’ she asked as she wiped the dust from the cups. The windows had blown in yet again with the force of the blasts during the night, and everywhere was coated with thick, unwholesome dust.

‘I’m still going. That’s if the station hasn’t taken a hit and the trains are still running,’ Maggie declared with quiet determination.

David opened his mouth to speak but then changed his mind and hung his head as his mother stared at her admiringly.

‘Well, yer’ve got guts. I’ll say that fer yer, gel.’

‘I need to see my children,’ Maggie told her quietly. ‘But are you quite sure you’ll all manage without me?’

‘Course we will. You go an’ do what needs to be done. Lizzie an’ Danny need to know what’s gone on,’ Beryl told her with a tremor in her voice. She certainly wouldn’t have fancied having to tell the children that their father, grandma, baby sister and home were all gone.

Maggie glanced across at Jo, who was huddled in a chair at the side of the fireplace with a look of abject misery on her face. Despite all her endeavours to rid herself of her problem, the child was still growing within her and Jo was now having to face up to the fact that it would soon be too late to do anything about it. The only option left open to her now was a visit to Old Lady Moon on Temple Road, and Maggie shuddered at the thought. It was a well-known fact that many of the girls who had gone to her had ended up in hospital after she’d done her worst on them with a knitting needle, and not always a clean one at that.

Feeling Maggie’s eyes burning into her, Jo flashed her a weak smile. ‘We’ll be fine, Maggie. I ain’t goin’ into work today. I might not be goin’ into work ever again if the shop ain’t still there. I’ll go an’ have a look after dinner. I could walk part of the way to the station wi’ yer then.’

The sound of men hammering pieces of wood across the broken windows stopped the conversation from going any further and turning about, Maggie dragged herself upstairs to start packing a small suitcase.

 

After lunch, which was bread and dripping due to the fact that there was still no power to cook with, Maggie said her goodbyes. She’d decided to walk to the station as word had it that yet more of the buses had been destroyed in the bombing the night before, and a lot of the roads were closed. Beryl hugged her tightly, with tears in her eyes.

‘Now you mind how yer go, eh? This family has seen enough grief in the last few weeks to last it a lifetime, so we don’t want nothin’ happenin’ to you.’

‘I will.’ Maggie returned the hug and planted an affectionate kiss on her mother-in-law’s wrinkled brow. ‘I shouldn’t be gone for more than a few days at most.’

Turning her attention to David, she felt colour warm her cheeks. ‘I’ll er . . . see you soon, then,’ she said awkwardly.

‘Yes. As Mam said, mind how you go and give the twins my love.’ He seemed as ill-at-ease as she was, and Beryl’s heart broke as she observed the distance between them. The woman had been forced to stand back and watch them over the years, knowing all the time, deep inside, that they should have been together. She’d hoped that once David returned and there was no longer an obstacle between them, that they would get back together, but up to now there was no sign of that happening. Still, she consoled herself, it was early days yet and they still had a lot of grieving to do before they could look to the future.