Moonlight Menage (11 page)

But she couldn’t.

And Nic hadn’t seemed to mind.

He’d sprawled on the couch afterward with a smile on his face before his eyes had drifted shut. She swore it only took him seconds to fall asleep.

Duke had kept her wrapped in his arms, her back to his front, until he, too, had fallen into a deep sleep on the chair.

She hadn’t been able to find that same oblivion. As Duke’s arms finally loosened, she got up, dressed and, without really knowing what she was doing, grabbed Duke’s keys off the table and snuck out the front door.

Where should she go?

Home? Where it was safe?

She remembered her talk with Margie. Hell, she couldn’t go home.

Then she realized the only home she wanted she’d left back with Duke and Nic.

Tears threatened to spill but she blinked them away as she started the Jeep, put it in gear and headed down the lane. She wasn’t a child. She was a grown woman. Time she started acting like one.

With a check in the rearview to make sure the guys hadn’t run out after her, she set off down the lane.

If Nica was home, she’d go talk to her. But Nica was off enjoying her two men. Lucky girl.

Her hands tightened around the steering wheel, her knuckles cracking with the pressure.

Pain slashed through her chest like a dull blade and she took a deep breath to try to dissipate it.

By the time she reached the closest rural highway, her foot was pretty well plastered to the floor and Duke’s favorite metal blared from the speakers. Slipknot suited her mood perfectly. Heavy drums, wailing guitars, Corey Taylor’s raspy screaming vocals.

She played it loud enough to drown out her own thoughts and the dark night around her forced her to concentrate on driving.

But she still had no destination in mind. It was close to two in the morning. The
eteri
bars would be closed—

Howling Moon.

Howling Moon never shut its doors.

And maybe the Lady of the Silver Light would have some advice. At least Lusna, the Etruscan Moon Goddess, would have oblivion by the name of mojitos.

Only miles from Tira’s village of New Tarquin, Lusna’s home sat in a small valley in Oley Township, surrounded by old-growth woods, not farmland like most of the rest of the township.

Since she’d never actually driven to Howling Moon, Tira made a couple of wrong turns before she found the unmarked lane that led to Lusna’s. She’d always walked the few times she’d visited. She knew she was on the right lane when she drove past a cluster of small, one-story stone and plaster structures with gabled roofs.

Any
eteri
wandering by would think them quaint. Of course, if they knew they were inhabited by
lucani
, they wouldn’t stop to ooh and aah. Then again, no
eteri
would find their way back here. Tira was only able to discern the lane because the magic that kept it hidden from
eteri
made it visible to her Etruscan eyes.

Past the tiny village of eight homes, she turned a bend and caught sight of the two-hundred-year-old stone farmhouse, built in a time when the second and third floors had housed the humans and the first floor had held the animals.

Today, the ground floor was a bar. The sign at the door showed a cartoon wolf sitting on a stool holding a mug. Lusna had a somewhat twisted sense of humor.

When Tira parked in the small gravel parking lot a few hundred yards from the building, she didn’t give herself time to second-guess. She got out of the car and headed straight for the door.

This late, she didn’t think there would be too many people in the bar. There was only one other car in the lot. Of course, most of the patrons didn’t drive here. They ran. On four paws. All of the
lucani
she knew kept a change of clothes in the back room.

A cold wind smelling of snow whipped around her just as she got to the door. She looked up at the sky. No stars or moon tonight. Billowy clouds blocked them from sight.

Yeah, there’d be snow soon enough.

Yanking open the heavy wooden door, wide enough and tall enough to accommodate a horse, she stepped into the warm, fragrant comfort of Howling Wolf.

Like a weight had lifted off her shoulders, Tira took a deep breath, scented with fir and wood smoke. No cigarette smoke. But beneath everything, the glaze of magic.

This was the home of a goddess, after all.

The mellow sound of an acoustic guitar caught her attention first. Looking around, she found Caeles, an Etruscan elemental
fauni
who never strayed far from Lusna’s side, picking at the strings, the tune an old Etruscan ritual song, ancient and full of power. Tira figured that’s what was fueling the calming spell.

Three
lucani
, two in wolf form, sat around him. They barely glanced at Tira as she made her way to the wide plank bar on the far side of the room from the front door.

No one tended bar but Tira knew it wouldn’t be long before Lusna walked out to take her order.

Which had always struck Tira as strange. The Etruscan Goddess of the Moon serving her subjects instead of the other way around.

But Lusna loved it.

As if on cue, the door to the kitchen swung open and the Lady of the Silver Light stepped out with a smile on her beautiful face, her midnight-black hair loose around her shoulders and her gray eyes bright.

Lusna had the kind of soft beauty that made men want her and women
not
want to rip her hair out for being so beautiful. A fine line, but she walked it gracefully.

“Tira, sweetheart. It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you here. Come sit down and I’ll get you a drink. You look like you could use something nice and warm. One café amaretto coming up.”

Until Lusna had mentioned that particular drink, it wouldn’t have entered Tira’s mind. Now she knew it was perfect for her mood.

As Lusna poured amaretto and coffee and topped it off with a huge dollop of whipped cream, Tira slid onto a barstool and propped her chin on her hand. Taking a sip of her drink after Lusna set it in front of her, she sighed. Exactly what she needed.

As the warmth of the coffee and liquor seeped into her, Tira felt herself loosening her tightly held control. She’d been holding back her tears but she’d reached the breaking point.

She’d never been a noisy crier. She didn’t sob and wail but her tears were just as real. They coursed down her cheeks in rivers.

Lusna said nothing as she moved around the bar and took Tira by the elbow, leading her to a table in the corner, away from Caeles and the three
lucani
. Producing a box of tissues from Goddess only knew where, Lusna waited while Tira wept.

And when she finished, Tira realized her café amaretto was sitting in front of her, still piping hot.

“Now,” Lusna said. “Spill.”

“I love them so much, Lady. I want them both but I can’t bear to see Nic’s death every time I touch him. Mamma isn’t doing well and I’m terrified I’m going to end up like her. I’m terrified of what will happen to Duke when…if anything happens to Nic. And I’m sick of being weak.”

Lusna’s head cocked to the side, a slight frown making tiny Vs between her eyes. “Why do you think you’re weak?”

“Because I feel like my life is out of my control. That I have no say in anything I do. If I was a stronger person, I’d be able to handle it. I’d know how to act. I’d know how to handle my Gift. I wouldn’t be so damn…” She stopped, reaching for the right word, the right combination of words to explain her feelings. “Inadequate. Unworthy.”

Lusna reached across the table and took her hand. Tira automatically recoiled before she remembered deities were typically immune to her Gift as well.

Lusna’s cool, slim hand pressed against her own overheated, too-tight skin, sparking no images. “Then do something about it. If you truly feel that way, then make changes in your life.”

Tira’s gaze narrowed as she tried to understand what the Lady was saying. “Are you telling me I should give up my Gift?”

Lusna shook her head. “I’m not telling you what to do. I’m only trying to help you see all the options.”

Tears pricked Tira’s eyes. “There are none, Lady. At least none that make any sense. If I give up my Gift, someone else would bear my burden. This is
my
Gift. I was born to serve my people, to take my mother’s place. If I pass my Gift to another, the
boschetta
may never be the same.”

“That’s true but there are always options, sweetheart. Sometimes we just don’t recognize them, at first.” When Tira started to shake her head, Lusna just smiled. “And sometimes we need something to take our mind off our troubles.” She pointedly looked over Tira’s shoulder. Following her gaze, Tira saw the baby grand piano Lusna herself sometimes played for her guests.

It had been weeks since Tira had touched her own piano at home. She’d been so worried about disturbing her mother. Music had always been the one thing sure to calm her nerves and, at that moment, she realized she missed it. Desperately.

“Go ahead, Tira. Play. Caeles loves the company.”

Her emotions still jumbled, her mind cluttered with too many thoughts, Tira actually tingled with anticipation.

“Go on,” Lusna encouraged her when she hesitated. “Music always helps me to think more clearly.”

With a nod and a distracted smile for the Lady, Tira slid off the stool and walked to the piano. The instrument was sleek, the bench padded and the keys gleaming white and smoky black.

Sitting on a stool to the left of the piano, Caeles finished his song as she sat down.

“Are you going to grace us with your playing?” he asked, his golden eyes and soft smile welcoming. His curly hair was pushed behind his distinctly pointed ears. Here, he didn’t have to hide those ears.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘grace’.” She forced a smile for the three
lucani
males sitting in front of Caeles. She didn’t recognize them but she didn’t know all of the
lucani
who lived in this small village. They were exempt from serving in the legion because they directly served the Lady of the Silver Light.

“You’re too modest,” Caeles said. “I’ve had the pleasure of playing with you before. You have a true gift.”

His choice of words made her smile slip. Her “true gift” brought her much more pain than this. Occasionally, she’d let herself wonder what her life would have been like without her Gift. But she didn’t let herself think about that anywhere but in the privacy of her room and only then late at night, when her mother was asleep.

“Thank you, Caeles. What should we play?”

“Your choice for the first song.”

She thought about it as she slid onto the bench, letting her fingers get the feel of the ivory.

Without conscious thought, she began to pick out the opening notes to
Heaven Help My Heart
from the Broadway show,
Chess
.

She stopped when she realized Caeles probably wouldn’t know a song from a show that never really hit the big time. But he immediately picked up the melody.

With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and released her brain.

And let the music take her away.

Chapter Six

“Gods damn it, Nic, wake the fuck up. She’s gone.”

Nic’s eyes flew open and he sat straight up, only to gasp in pain as his broken ribs protested.

“Shit.
Fuck
, that hurt.” Shaking his head, Nic tried to make sense of Duke’s words. “
Vaffanculo
, what do you mean she’s gone?”

“My Jeep’s gone and so is she, that’s what I fucking mean.”

“Is her stuff gone?”

Duke stopped pacing the living room and practically ran for the bedroom where he’d stowed her bag— Yesterday?

Nic turned to look at the clock on the microwave in the kitchen and winced again at the pain in his side. Not as bad as earlier, which was good.

“Stuff’s still there.” Duke stalked back into the room, running his hand through his hair, a sure sign he was scared. And Duke didn’t do scared.

Nic had to admit he was a little freaked as well but the fact that she hadn’t taken her stuff was a point in their favor.

If she’d abandoned them, she would have taken her bag. Unless she’d been too freaked to even remember she had brought a bag.

“Shit, Nic. Where the hell’d she go? Damn it, we shouldn’t have pushed her.”

Nic felt a momentary twinge that had nothing to do with pain and everything to do with guilt. Yeah, he’d pushed her. But she hadn’t been unwilling. They’d given her more than enough chances to say no.

And he didn’t regret it. Not one fucking bit.

Tinia’s teat, it was the best sex he’d ever had. And he’d only touched himself.

Watching her had been amazing. He swore he’d been able to feel her pleasure in his body.

“
Ceffo
, stop pacing for two seconds and think about this. It’s almost three in the morning. Where could she go?”

Duke gave him the finger for calling him an asshole but he paused long enough to take a breath, his unfocused gaze staring out the window. “Nica.”

Nic shook his head, his own mind shifting through possibilities. “Away for the week. Home?”

“She would have taken her stuff. And she wouldn’t disturb her mom in the middle of the night. Tam and Kyle.”

Nic nodded. “Possible, yeah.

“I’ll take a run over—”

“I’m coming too.”

Duke snorted as he headed for the front door. “Yeah, right. You can barely move. I don’t want to have to be dragging your sorry ass again. Just stay the fuck here.”

Nic felt his blood pressure start to soar at Duke’s dismissal. He wasn’t a scraggly little kid anymore, trailing in Duke’s sturdy, athletic wake. And he wasn’t a gods damn invalid.

Knowing he’d actually be speeding his healing process by shifting into his wolf, but also knowing it was going to hurt like hell, Nic pushed off the chair and stood. He refused to look at Duke and refused to show any sign of pain.

Already naked, Nic didn’t have to do anything other than reach inside himself for his pelt.

He almost stopped when his injured ribs broadcast their agony through his body but he needed to go with Duke. He needed to be there when he found Tira. They were meant to be in this together. He wasn’t fucking dead yet.