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Authors: Heidi Marshall

BOOK: More
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“Where are Rick and Amy?” asked Brooke.

“Oh, I think they’re down the beach somewhere, taking a walk.”

“So they’re making out down by the pier again?”

“Yeah, most likely.” Kate let out a long sigh.

“What’s wrong?” asked Brooke.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I totally admire Rick and Amy’s relationship. As much as we tease them and even though their newlywed love-fest can get to be a bit much at times, I just look to them as a wonderful example of a solid relationship. They just love each other and care for each other so much.”

“I know. It really is sweet. Even though it makes me want to throw up sometimes.”

“I can’t wait until I have that with someone.”

Brooke propped herself up on her elbow facing the chair where Kate lay. “Okay, tell me what you’re looking for in a guy.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Kate, shifting in her chair to look at Brooke.

“Come on! It’s just for fun. And sometimes it helps you figure out what you want when you talk through stuff like this.”

“Okay, fine,” said Kate. “Well, for starters, he’s got to be smart. I don’t think I could respect someone who wasn’t smart.”

“Okay…smart…check,” said Brooke. “Next?”

“And funny. He has got to be funny.”

“Okay, smart and funny. These are really unique qualities, Kate. Come on. What do you want?”

She thought for a moment, suddenly determined to come up with the perfect words to answer her friend’s question. “What do I want? Okay. I want loyalty, first and foremost. When I get married, I don’t want to have to worry for a single minute that my husband will ever leave me. I’m not naïve enough to think that we’ll never face struggles in our marriage, but I want to have complete faith that he is mine and I am his forever. I want someone who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable with me. I think so many men try and put on such a tough front, but I want to be able to play an active support role, and I don’t think I can do that unless my husband is real with me. I want him to do all the small things that I love, like bringing home flowers or kissing me before he goes to work simply because he loves to make me happy. And I want someone who just cannot live without me. I want him to love me not because he feels obligated to, but because he literally could not imagine his life without me in it. That’s what I want in my heart of hearts.”

Brooke looked out at the ocean. “Yeah,” she said softly.

“Yeah,” said Kate with a sigh. The friends both watched the waves crash on the shore in silence, dreaming about the perfect man.

“Your heart of hearts, huh? Is that the scientific name?” asked Brooke, the mood suddenly lightening.

“Yes,” said Kate stubbornly. “It’s where all of your specialest wants are stored.”

“Of course it is. You’re a little bit ridiculous. You know that, right?”

“It’s part of my charm.” Kate got up from her lounge chair.

“You up for a swim?”

“Always.”

“Okay, but let’s try to cartwheel all the way down to the water. Ready, set, GO!” The women didn’t care how crazy they must have looked to all the tourists as they flipped and turned down to the shore all the way into the ocean. “I won!” cried Kate, pushing her drenched hair out of her eyes. “Now you have to buy me ice cream later.”

 

~~~~~

 

Kate woke up the next morning, still distressed from Ian’s visit. She had called both Amy and Brooke immediately and told them what had happened, and they agreed that she had done the right thing. And even though Kate was proud of herself for standing up to Ian, she was shaken by the emotional exchange.

She started to get ready for the day, feeling as though she was moving in slow motion. She stared at a bowl of oatmeal (with raisins and walnuts, her favorite) before realizing she had no appetite and threw it away, untouched. Kate decided to open the front door to take a peek at the weather before picking out an outfit for the day. There was something on her doorstep that hadn’t been there the night before. She bent down, and couldn’t help but laugh when she recognized a familiar frog lounging on her stoop. “Hello, Bernard. Long time, no see.” She picked up an envelope that was tucked into his thick bristles labeled with her name. Pulling out a note, Kate sat down on her front stoop in her robe and stocking feet and began to read.

Kate,

I want you to know that I heard everything you said today at the bookstore. I planned on going home after I left and not bothering you again, but as soon as I opened the door to my apartment, I was completely overwhelmed with how much I miss you. You’re everywhere in my apartment, Kate. Every piece of furniture, every painted wall, every piece of artwork – yes, even this ridiculous frog. Even though we haven’t spoken in months, and it seems like you don’t ever want to talk to me again, you are still a part of my life, and I don’t want to go another day without doing all that I can to win my friend back. I turned around and got right back in my car to drive here and leave you this note. We’ve known each other too long to allow this friendship to slip away. Let’s do this right. Let’s be honest with each other and learn how to be friends again.

Ian

Kate threw her hands up in the air. “Men!” In less than a year’s time she had fallen for her best friend, been rejected by him, fell in love with someone new, had her heart broken by that someone, and now her best friend wanted to be friends again?!

There are times in a woman’s life when she needs her best friend. Her best girl friend, that is. Meredith would dispense wonderful wisdom; her mother would listen empathetically; Rick and Amy would shake their heads at how hard it is to be a single adult, which neither of them ever had to experience; Darren would be a good friend, but wouldn’t really be able to give constructive comments in response to random outbursts of “I hate men!” and “What is their problem?”

Kate grabbed her purse, jumped in her car (robe and all), and drove to see her friend Brooke. She walked up to the front door of Brooke’s small house (getting her socks extremely dirty along the way) and knocked on the door. It opened within seconds, and Brooke took one look at her friend and said, “Come on in.”

After the coffee was brewed and the friends were settled into the living room wrapped in matching plaid chenille throws, Kate held up the note. “What is
this
?”

Brooke took the note and read it carefully. Kate saw her eyebrows raise several times.

“I hate men! What is their problem?”

“I have no idea, friend. Why did it take Ian so long to figure out that he was wrong? Why didn’t he miss you sooner?”

Kate sighed dramatically. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I mean, if we become friends again, how do I know that we won’t find ourselves in the same place again? Why would this time be any different? It happened in college, it happened last year, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep it from happening again.”

“I hear you. I would be saying the same thing. But you have to remember that there is one important difference this time.”

“What? What could possibly be different?”

“Truth,” said Brooke. “The truth is out on the table. And now you don’t have to be afraid about being honest with him. I mean, the worst has already happened. You lost him. And now that he’s back, he can be back on your terms. With your boundaries.”

Kate thought about her friend’s astute observation. “I never thought about it that way.”

“Think about it, Kate. You have the upper hand now. Take this chance to turn this into a solid, healthy friendship. It sounds like he’s willing to work for it.”

“I do miss him. I miss him a lot, if I’m being honest with myself. We’ve never gone this long without talking before. I really think we were meant to be friends with each other, you know? We’re so much alike in so many ways. I mean, remember how we first met?”

“I think I remember. You joined the marching band your freshman year of college because for some reason you thought that would be cool, right? To this day, I still don’t understand why.” Kate hit Brooke in the face with a throw pillow. “Oh come on. Marching band?”

“Okay, I know! But I liked it in high school, and besides, I got a scholarship!”

“You’re still a dork. Remind me how it happened, exactly?”

“It was the first week of rehearsal, and we were learning our halftime show. Ian was in the saxophone section, and he was standing right behind me on the 40 yard line in this particular part of the song. The director yelled out ‘Bells to the box!’, which means that everyone is supposed to point the bells of their instrument to the top of the stands.”

“Oh that’s right!” said Brooke, giggling. “And since you play French horn, your bell points to the back instead of in front of you like all the other instruments.”

“Yes, so I thought I’d take things literally! I turned around, bent over, and pointed my bell to the box! Ian told me years later that as soon as he saw me do that, he thought ‘Now that girl has a sense of humor. I’ve got to get to know her.’”

“He’s a rare breed. You two just get each other, you know? Would it be such a bad thing to give it another shot?”

“I guess I should,” replied Kate, shrugging her shoulders as if there was no other choice. She grabbed her phone and dialed a familiar number. “Meredith? It’s Kate. I know this is late notice, but I was hoping I could take the day off. There’s something I need to do.”

Chapter 22
 

 

Ian came walking out of his office with his tie loosened and his dark brown hair slightly disheveled. He looked like he was in the middle of another stressful day at the office. His secretary had told him that someone was in the lobby to see him, but didn’t mention who his visitor was.

When Ian saw Kate standing in the lobby, the tension that was in his face seemed to melt away in an instant. She stood there, in a lavender sundress and denim jacket, holding Bernard the frog. Ian smiled, and for the next few moments a lot was communicated between the friends without words. “Greta?” he yelled back towards his office. “I’m taking my lunch now.”

They walked out of the building and down the block to a familiar coffee shop. Ian bought Kate her favorite drink without having to ask what she wanted, and they sat down at a small table on the patio.

“I’ll start,” she said. “You really shocked me when you walked into the store yesterday. I mean, you haven’t said a word to me since our fight that night. You abandoned me, Ian. When things got rough and I found the courage to be honest with you, you gave up. And that scares me. Relationships are hard. I don’t care what kind of relationship it is – a friendship, a marriage, a business partner – it’s all hard. It all takes work. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to be your friend after what happened between us even if you had tried. But you didn’t even try. And that really hurt me.”

“I was stupid, Kate. I was foolish and scared and immature and it took me far too long to figure out how wrong I was. But I’m here now. Does that count for anything?”

“It does. As hurt as I was by you, the fact remains that we have a very special bond and I think our friendship is worth fighting for. But I think you’re in my life for a reason. I’m not willing to give up on us. I think now that the truth is out on the table, I can do this. I can be a friend to you. But if I’m getting uncomfortable and think that boundaries are being crossed, I’m going to tell you. And if you think I’m getting too attached to you, you need to do the right thing and talk to me about it.”

“I can do that.”

“Promise me, Ian.
Promise
me that truth will come first. We can’t do this if we’re afraid to be honest with each other.”

Ian put down his coffee cup and looked Kate in the eyes, with determination and openness in his eyes. “I promise. Truth comes first.”

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