More Layers: Book Two Layers Series (7 page)

He continues to stare into his empty glass.

“You obviously think that empty glass is more interesting than anything I have to say. And I’m running out of things that I want to say, so...”

He remains silent.

Okay, I’m done. I walk over to the bar, put my glass down, then take his glass out of his hand, and put it on the bar.

“Talk or leave.”

He takes my hand and pulls me into him. He puts his arms around me and holds me tight. I try to push away, but he squeezes me tighter. I give in, and let him hold me. I hate to admit it, but damn, it feels wonderful to be in his arms. It feels like it always did—like home.

He pulls away. “Alexia, I’m trying to process...everything, and I’m finding it...I can’t process it—it’s impossible. You thinking that I deceived you, lied to you, cheated on you, and that you weren’t enough—destroys me. I told you I would never stop loving you, and I meant it. I won’t deny that Mia was in my hotel room that night, but what you think happened...you’ve got that all wrong. I never slept with the bitch.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to have gotten it wrong.”

“Lex, you have to believe me. Remember I told you when my parents were killed and I took over Ryan? It was a mess.”

I nod.

“I found out that my father had been in the middle of a billion-dollar pharmaceutical liability nondisclosure suit. The suit had put Ryan in financial trouble, and him in trouble with the feds. According to his records, he reached out to his friend, the late former senator Michel Stephens—Mia’s father. Long story short, my dad borrowed millions from Stephens and asked for his help with the feds.”

“What the hell does this have to do with Mia being in a bed sheet, in your hotel room?”

He pours himself another drink, downs half of it and stares down at the other half. After a minute, he looks up at me. “I’m getting to that. A couple of months after my parents died, Stephens contacted me. He told me that he was sorry for my loss, and that my father would be missed. Then he told me he’d warned my father about getting involved with the pharmaceutical company. He’d feared that it would turn in to a financial and legal nightmare. But my father didn’t heed his warning and ended up asking for his help. Stephens wanted to know if I intended to honor my father’s agreement. I told him yes, and that I was putting together a plan for paying him back. But I soon realized that even after I took on partners and gave him all my inheritance, it was a losing battle. So we met again, and I told him that I had no choice but to sign over Ryan. He agreed that it was a lost battle, but he said that he’d come up with a way for me to hang on to Ryan. He proposed, that if I married his daughter Mia, and made her a partner, he would clear all debt and sign over Ryan.”

“So that’s why you married her?”

“Yes. Mia had gotten herself into some kind of trouble, and he wanted her married. I’d met her before, and although she was a few years older, and I wasn’t attracted to her—I thought how bad could it be? We married and I soon realized that I’d made a huge mistake. Mia was impossible to live with, and impossible to please. And she...she was fucking insane at times. I signed a contract and didn’t want to lose Ryan, but there was no reasoning or compromising with her. She began to scare me. After six months I’d had it and was ready to call the deal off, when she got pregnant.

“How could that be? You were...”

“Sterile. Yes, I was, but I didn’t know at the time. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I didn’t want the baby. Our marriage was a disaster and bringing a baby into it was crazy. But soon I resigned to the fact that I was going to be a father, whether I wanted to be or not. So I stepped up and became an expectant dad. I put my feelings aside and supported Mia. I never missed a doctor’s appointment; and when I got to see her for the first time...God Lex, it was the most surreal and happiest moment of my life. I carried around that ultrasound picture...”

“Jaxson, what happened?”

“She was born with a congenital heart disorder. She went through four surgeries...her little weak heart just couldn’t take it.”

Tears cloud my eyes. “Jaxson, I’m so sorry.”

He looks away for a few seconds, takes a deep breath, and then looks back up at me. The look in his eyes—fuck me. I’m going to hell for keeping his sons from him. What was I thinking?

“A couple of months later I told Mia I was going to file for divorce and sign Ryan over to her father. She begged me to give our marriage another chance. She wanted another baby and asked me to take some time to think about it. I told her I would think about it, even though I had no intentions of going through with it. But one thing I wanted, and intended to go through with, was finding out more about the congenital heart disorder. I wanted to find out if I was the carrier, and if I was, what or if anything could be done about it. Losing a baby...well let’s just say, it’s not something I’d ever want to go through again.”

“That’s when you found out about your sterility?”

“Yes. The genetics doctor took blood and sperm samples, and that’s when I found out that not only was I not a carrier of the heart condition, but I was also sterile. When I got home that afternoon Mia wasn’t home, she’d gone out of town for a few days so I went to see Stephens. I told him what I’d found out, that the baby wasn’t mine, and that I wanted out of the deal. To my surprise, he readily agreed to our divorce and even agreed to clear all my debt. All he asked for in return was that I let her retain her shares, promise to never deny that the baby was mine and to keep the details of our agreement private and to let him deal with Mia.”

“Jaxson, I’m...really sorry for what you went through, and I don’t want to sound insensitive, but again, what does this have to do with why she was in your hotel room, in a sheet?”

“I’m sure you remember that she had gotten most of the partners to sell her their shares of Ryan.”

I nod.

“She managed to do this by finding dirt on all of them.”

“She blackmailed them?”

“Oh, yeah. I had my suspicions that something wasn’t right, but none of the partners confided in me even when I asked them. But after you left and went back to London, they contacted me. Mia was no longer satisfied with just Ryan shares, especially since their value was sure to fall with the Harris situation. So she began to press them for money. That’s when they came to me for help.”

“Why didn’t they go to the authorities or the DA?”

“For the same reason they sold her their shares in the first place. They wanted whatever she knew, or had of them to remain private. And unfortunately she had connections to the former DA.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“They wanted dirt on her and the only dirt I had was her pregnancy. Her father had paid millions to keep it a secret, so I thought it might be something that she’d want and even pay to keep hidden as well. And I was right; she agreed to stop her blackmailing, and to sell me back the Ryan shares. The night that you came to the Eventi, we were supposed to meet at the hotel restaurant and sign the contract. She’d shown up early and came to my room just as I was about to get into the shower, so I invited her in and told her that I would only be a few minutes. So when you had the front desk call up, she must have answered it and...well, you know the rest. I had no idea, Lex. When I got out of the shower she had her clothes on, and nothing seemed amiss. I don’t recall looking at the bed but I’m pretty sure it was made up. Her lawyer came up to the room a few minutes later and we when down to the restaurant and signed the contract. They stayed for dinner and I went back to my room and celebrated with Dom Perignon.”

“Why were you staying in a hotel and why did you lie to Lane about being in LA?”

“I was staying at the Eventi because my studio was being painted. Lane must have talked to my PA’s temp. My PA, Joan, had a family emergency and called a temp service. She must not have told the temp about my office and that being the reason I was staying in a hotel.”

“For hell.”

“And I told Lane I was in LA because if he knew I had meeting with Mia he’d never let it go. I didn’t want him ticking her off again and messing things up.”

“Ticking her off?”

“The week prior to us signing our agreement, I had Lane pick her up and drop her off at my office so we could go over the fine details. I didn’t want her making any last- minute changes, which is typical Mia. When he picked her up, they exchanged a few words and it took me over an hour to calm her down. You know how much he dislikes Mia. Even when we were married and he was just a kid, they avoided each other. That night when he picked me up he was all over me about her. I told him to bud out, that he didn’t understand what was going on. The next thing I knew he was moving from the estate. He wouldn’t even tell Mary what was going on. He said he’d made a promise and unlike others he was loyal. He hasn’t spoken three words to me in over a year. I don’t blame him or any of your friends for that matter. But it hurts to think that they all believe that I’m...”

“A lying, cheating, bastard.”

“Yeah.”

“God, this is so fucked. I don’t know what to say, other than, I’m sorry...for everything. I should have known Mia was lying.”

“I thought that you’d gone on with your life. I didn’t want to believe that you’d given up on us, but that was the only thing that made any sense. No one said anything to me about you coming back to New York. It never even crossed my mind that Mia had played us.”

“Two and a half years. We could have been together all this time.”

I think about all the lonely days and nights. Then the tears come, and they come hard.

“Lex, please don’t cry, baby. We both lost faith, we both messed up.”

He wipes my tears but they keep on coming.

“I should have trusted you; I should have told you I loved you. But I’ve been at that door before, Jax. Zane fucked my best friend just days after we returned from our honeymoon. I knew he was a manwhore but he convinced me that he’d changed. But he used me, like everyone used me. No one wanted me; they only wanted my money, or my connections. I never believed in Cinderella. No glass slipper for this girl.”

He wipes more tears away. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I should have listened to Marco.”

“Marco?”

“He’s been telling me for months that something was off, that we didn’t have all the facts. I have so much to tell you. So much has happened in the time that we’ve been apart. Now is not the time to get into things, but after we get settled in New York, will you meet with me?”

“Yes, of course.”

He looks at his watch. “I guess I’d better get going. Your party is in four hours.”

We walk to the door. “Jax?”

He turns.

“Can, I ask you something?”

“Ask me anything.”

“Why are you with Mia?”

He frowns. “It’s...complicated. One of the things we’ll need to talk about later. Like you said, now is not the time.”

“After everything she did to you, to us, I...I just don’t want her around you or our friends.”

“I get that, but like I said, it’s complicated.”

“Okay, we’ll talk in a couple of weeks.”

He opens the door. “I guess this is good-bye, for now. I’ll see you at the party.”

“Jaxson, there is one thing I want you to know, and one more thing I want to ask you.”

“All right.”

“My marriage to Zane ended long before I divorced him. I know this will sound crazy to you, but I supported him financially to keep him away from me. He knew about Alexia Keith and Gram thought it best to remain married and support his lifestyle until I took over as CEO.”

“He’s a wanker, he never deserved you.”

I tear up again despite my best effort, and Jaxson wipes them off my cheek. “Sorry, I cry a lot.”

“It’s okay.”

I clear my throat. “The other thing...I wanted to ask you...well, I need you to hear me out and think about it before you give me your answer.”

“Okay.”

“I want to help you fix Ryan. I want to give you financial support so you don’t have to file for bankruptcy. You can pay me back or not, I don’t care, I just want to help.”

“No, I won’t take your money.”

“Please take some time and think about it.”

“My answer won’t change.”

“Jaxson, I know what Ryan means to you. I know how hard you’ve worked to keep it up and running. I don’t want to see you lose it, especially after all that’s happened.”

“Lex, I don’t want to lose the company my grandfather started. But if I do, it will be on my terms. I’m the CEO, and it’s my fault that it’s in the state that it’s in, and it will be me that either turns it around or loses it. You, of all people should understand this.”

“I do, I get it.”

“I know you, Lex, and I know how you think. Promise me that you won’t interfere or intervene.”

“It pains me to do so, but I promise.”

“Thank you, Lex.” He steps out the door. “Can...I kiss you goodbye?”

“Jaxson...I don’t think...”

He places a finger over my lips, to silence me. “Please, just one kiss? You don’t have to kiss me back.”

Yeah, right. Like that’s going to happen. I nod because I can’t form the word “no.” Okay, that’s a lie...I can, I just don’t want to. I want him to kiss me even though I know it’s a very bad idea. I’ve never wanted it more.

He pulls me into him.

“Lex, relax, it’s just a kiss.”

“I am relaxed,” I croak out.

He laughs. “Yeah, right.”

We stand and look into each other’s eyes for a minute, afraid to move, afraid to touch. Then he cups my chin in his hands and brings my lips toward his. Our lips hover less than an inch apart—then they touch—then crash into each other. Dear mother of all that is holy. It’s the most needed, wanted, and feared kiss of my life. Everything melts away. All that I know is this kiss; all I feel is his lips pressing into mine. I become dizzy from want, need, and lack of oxygen. Our lips, our bodies, our souls, have always fit perfectly together—like two pieces of a puzzle. Two pieces with too many sides and weird angles—two pieces that are lost and lonely, until they join and become one. I know you’ll agree with me when I say that you would consider yourself lucky to find a piece that isn’t perfect, but fills in most of the big gaps. So, girlfriend, when you find someone that fits perfectly, you don’t know if it’s a gift from God or Satan. Because when you’re together, you feel like you’re touching heaven; but when you’re apart, it feels like you’re burning in hell. I’ve been burning in hell for over two years, and now I feel Jaxson begin to pull me toward heaven and it scares me, so I push him away. My heart is still too fragile to leave hell. I’d rather stay in hell, because if I touch heaven, and it’s taken from me again, I won’t survive.