More Than Once (10 page)

“Thanks for letting me spend Christmas with your family,” he said as I moved to stand beside him. “They’re a lot of fun.”

I nodded and trailed a finger along the icy railing. “A white Christmas. I can’t believe it. Haven’t seen one of those in a while.”

“No, I suppose not, especially not in LA.” He turned toward me, leaning against the railing. “Do you ever miss it?”

“Every damn day,” I whispered. I’d never admitted that to anyone. Not even Trish.

“Why don’t you go back?”

“There’s nothing for me there.”

“You’re happy here in Dallas?”

“I don’t know. I have my family and…” I bit my lip to stop the next word. Because I didn’t have Andrew, not in the slightest, and I had no idea why I’d almost just said that. “I’ve lived here since I was eleven and I love it—I really do. But LA…” I sighed, closing my eyes, remembering the feel of being on stage, of playing bass in front of a crowd. “LA is full of dreams.”

“You miss playing music.”

It was a statement, not a question. He already knew the answer from our long talk that one night, all those months ago. “Yes. I always will.”

“Do you ever think you’ll go back to it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe someday.” I tried to change the subject before my thoughts went down that dark path. “What about you? Do you like it here in Dallas?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I like my job, and the city is great. But I have no friends or family here, and sometimes I wonder if I belong somewhere else.”

“Where? Back in Boston? Or with your family in Michigan?”

“No. Somewhere new, maybe.” His thumb brushed across my lower lip. “Although now that I’ve found you again, Dallas is looking even better.”

He lowered his mouth to mine for a kiss, his fingers sliding into the back of my hair. I loved the way he kissed, how he always cradled my head in his hand like I was precious to him. Like he didn’t want to ever let me go.

But now I was more confused than ever. This morning he’d said he didn’t want anything serious between us, and now he was making it sound like he
did
want something more. Which was it?

Dad called out that brunch was ready, and we reluctantly broke apart and headed inside. We all found our places around the table, taking the same seats as last night. Trish gave Matt a kiss as she sat, so I figured the two of them must have been having a better day today. Good. I hated seeing them upset with each other.

Trish and Mom had prepared a feast, with leftovers from last night, plus waffles, eggs, and bacon. While we ate and drank mimosas, my parents asked Andrew about his family back in Michigan, and I discovered he was the middle child—older brother, younger sister. He’d gone to college in Boston and had double majored in communications and English. Like my sister, he loved to read, especially mysteries. He used to play hockey and he liked to watch football, but wasn’t into basketball or baseball. I filed away all these facts about him, greedy to know more. For once in my life, I found myself thankful for nosy parents.

As we finished up our huge meal, my parents shared a meaningful look and my father nodded. “There’s one more thing, Rebecca,” Mom said. She got up and retrieved a red envelope from the kitchen, then handed it to me. “Here. Your other present.”

I wasn’t sure what else they could be giving me, but I ripped through the envelope with my nail and pulled out a card with a snowman on it. Inside, my parents had written me a short note.

Rebecca,

We’re so proud of the woman you’ve become and we know you have a bright future ahead of you. We can tell you’ve really changed and would be delighted to help you to go to college again.

Love,

Mom and Dad

My eyes teared up reading the note and my chest filled with warmth. I was so happy they’d realized how hard I’d worked to get my life back on track and that they were willing to help me take the next step.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice catching.

Dad cleared his throat. “We were going to wait until you moved into your own apartment, but after seeing you with Brett, we changed our minds and decided to do it now.”

Mom practically beamed at me and Andrew. “Ya’ll are such a perfect couple. We want you to have a beautiful future together, and we know that going back to college will help with that.”

My gut twisted, guilt and unease slamming into me like a freight train. They were giving this to me because of Andrew, because they thought the two of us were actually dating, because they believed we were going to settle down and get married—not because of anything
I’d
done.

For a second I was tempted to smile and go along with it. This was what I’d wanted all along—for my parents to be so impressed by “Brett” that they’d decide to help me out. But now it felt…wrong.

I flashed back to Andrew in the parking lot, telling me he thought I should be honest with my parents. He’d been right all along, and I couldn’t keep up this act any longer. If I was trying to be a different person, a
better
person, then I had to be truthful with them. And if there was even the slightest chance of a future with Andrew, I didn’t want it to be based around a lie.

I set the card on the table, taking a deep breath. “This is very generous and kind of you. I am so, so grateful, but…I can’t accept this.”

My parents exchanged a startled look. “Why not?” Dad asked.

“Because I haven’t been entirely truthful with you.” I met Andrew’s eyes. He looked shocked, but he nodded like he wanted me to go on. “Brett isn’t really my boyfriend. His name isn’t even Brett. It’s Andrew.”

“I don’t understand,” Dad said, glancing at Andrew, who bowed his head.

“What do you mean, he’s not your boyfriend?” Mom asked. “Not Brett?”

“I was dating a guy named Brett, but he dumped me yesterday. I knew you wanted me to have a perfect boyfriend like him, and I was scared to tell you that we’d broken up. Then I ran into Andrew and asked him to help me out at dinner by pretending to be Brett. The story about us meeting at a party was real. We just never started dating after that.”

Trish and Matt watched with wide eyes, while Hannah focused on her new iPad. I was so thankful for whatever game she was playing that made her completely oblivious to all of this.

“Is this true?” my mother asked, turning to Andrew, like she believed him more than me. “Why would you pretend to be Brett?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting her eyes. “I’m really sorry about the deception. I didn’t have anywhere to go on Christmas, and when Becca asked me to help her, I couldn’t say no, especially since she’d just gotten fired because of me and—”

“You got
fired,
too? Oh, Rebecca,” Mom said, in that disappointed voice I’d heard so many times before, her forehead pinching together. I wanted to shrink down and disappear into the gaps in the hardwood floor.

Andrew gave me an apologetic look, but it didn’t matter at this point if they knew about my job. I’d already ruined everything with my parents, reminding them why they couldn’t trust me, why I would never ever make them proud.

“We really thought you had changed,” Dad said. “But you’re still lying to us and can’t seem to hold down a job.”

“Was it
all
a lie?” my mom asked. “Everything you’ve told us over the last few months?”

“No, not all of it—” I started.

“So who are you, then?” Dad asked Andrew. “Do you really work for Statewide Airlines? What about everything else you told us?”

Andrew opened his mouth to respond, but my mom cut him off. “I thought for sure my baby had finally found a nice guy, but it was all a ruse,” she said, taking a swig of her mimosa.

Dad shook his head. “Rebecca, this is really disappointing. We thought, with Brett, that you were changing your life and finally settling down. But now…I don’t think we can help you with college after all.”

I was almost in tears, but at the same time, I was kind of pissed off, too. I understood why they were turning me down and why they were upset, and I didn’t blame them at all. Yes, I had seriously fucked up by lying to them, which is why I’d confessed and turned down the money. But it was like they cared more about the fact that “Brett” wasn’t my boyfriend than anything else I’d done in the last few months to show them I had changed.

I slammed my napkin down on the table and stood up quickly, rattling the silverware. “I already said I was turning down the money. I know I messed up, and I don’t deserve your help. But really, if the only measure of how I’ve changed is who I’m dating and whether I’m on my way to marriage and babies, then I’m not sure I want your help anyway.”

I left the table and ran outside, slamming the front door behind me. The snow had stopped coming down but it was still frosty, although I was so upset I didn’t care if I froze. I just needed to get away from them.

Ten seconds out on the front porch, I changed my mind. My sweater wasn’t nearly thick enough for this weather. I really wished I had brought a jacket. Or a blanket. Or a space heater. But I wasn’t going back in there, no way in hell.

I rubbed my hands on my arms, my breath misting the air as my parents’ words replayed in my head. They didn’t understand me, and it was becoming more and more clear that they never would. They wanted me to be Trish, to settle down and live a quiet, content life as a wife and mother. But that would never be me. Sure, I wanted to get married and have kids someday, but not anytime soon.

Maybe they were right and I hadn’t really changed. Maybe I was still the exact same girl who had dropped out of college to become a rock star and then managed to fuck that up, too.

God, I really wanted a cigarette.

My phone beeped in my pocket, and I groaned and pulled it out. Shit, what now?

A text from Hector this time
. We need your help. Call me.

No other words, but Hector was always succinct and to the point. One of my favorite things about him.

If they were contacting me this much, and on Christmas morning, it had to be important. I’d call them back later if only to get them to stop bugging me. But worrying about my former band members’ problems was the last thing I cared about right now.

I had enough problems of my own to deal with.

B
ecca rushed out of the room, leaving her parents staring after her with shocked expressions. I should probably leave, too, but I didn’t want them to think I was a complete liar. Or that I cared nothing for Becca and was just using her for free food or something.

“Mr. and Mrs. Collins, please know that everything I told you about myself was true, other than my name. Well, that and the fact that I’m not actually dating your daughter.” I paused and added, “Yet.”

“So you
are
together?” Evelyn asked, sounding hopeful.

“No, but she’s agreed to one date with me. After that…I’m not sure.”

“She’d be a fool to only want one,” Trish said, and I couldn’t hide my smile.

“But why would you do this?” Matt asked. He was a quiet one, but he watched me now with suspicious eyes. “We let you spend Christmas with us. You even stayed in our house. Under the same roof as our daughter. Why?”

“I did it because I care about Becca and—”

“It’s okay,” Trish said, taking Matt’s hand. “I knew who he was when I asked him to stay. He and Becca met back in California before she moved here. They have a…history.”

“Patricia, you knew about this, too?” David asked as Evelyn drained her mimosa, her hand shaking.

Trish shifted in her seat. “I did, but cut Becca some slack. She’s worked hard since moving to Dallas to show you that she’s changed.”

“But has she changed?” Evelyn asked, waving her empty glass. “She can’t seem to keep a steady job
or
a steady boyfriend!”

"Her job was the worst," Trish said. “And why does it matter who she’s dating? Her entire worth isn’t wrapped up in the man she’s with.”

“Well, of course not,” David said.

Trish’s face took on the fierceness I’d glimpsed before in her sister. “Is it any wonder she lied when you’ve put so much pressure on her to find the perfect guy and settle down? She’s completely changed herself to be exactly what you want, and yet she still can’t get you to help her go after her dreams.”

“Trish,” Matt said, his voice uneasy.

She glanced at her husband and yanked her hand from his, and I got the feeling she was speaking about more than just Becca. “It doesn’t matter who she’s dating. You should help her because she’s your daughter and she’s trying to make her life better and she can’t do it without your support.”

Trish stood and walked out of the room, and Matt sighed and followed her a moment later. Hannah continued to play her game, completely lost in her own world. David and Evelyn just looked horrified and confused by both of their daughters’ actions.

Probably time for me to get out of here as well. I scooted my chair back and stood. “I’m sorry that I lied to you both, and I’m very thankful for your gracious hospitality. For what it’s worth, I think Becca is an amazing woman, and I know she just wants you to be proud of her. I’ll see myself out, but I hope you have a merry Christmas.” I gave them all a quick nod, then gathered up my things from the guest room before letting myself out.

Becca was outside, curled up on a bench on the front porch, shivering and staring off into space. With her knees drawn up to her chest, she didn’t look like she wanted company, but I couldn’t leave her like this. I ducked back inside and grabbed a white, fuzzy blanket off the guest bed we’d both slept in. When I returned to the front porch, I draped the blanket over her shoulders, tucking it around her. She barely seemed to notice.

As I sat beside her, I saw she was gripping her phone tightly. I rested my hand on her knee and gave her a slight, reassuring squeeze. “I’m sorry your parents are upset, but it was good that you told them the truth.”

“Yeah.” She sighed, finally registering that I was there. “You were right all along. I should have been honest with them from the beginning.”

“Maybe, but you did the right thing in the end. I think they’ll come around soon.”