Mortal Desire (9 page)

How could I not help her?

I wrapped my arms around her as she leaned into me, closed my eyes and intensified my focus onto visualizing my blue energy field and pulling it inside of me, away from her as much as I could.

I felt her relax in my arms, and then tighten her grip around me. I placed my hand on her head and lowered my lips and kissed her temple. I had visions of our lips touching in a sensuous lingering way. I had never kissed a woman before, and I had never desired it. But I craved for it now.

Forbidden fruit ...

I felt that I could not win, stuck on this Earth as an immortal, feeling the desires of the flesh, and the desires of my higher spirit which did not need the physical passions of the human body at the same time. It was a bad mix to have, stuck in between the two worlds.

‘Sarah, we are at the sixteenth floor. I’ll walk you to your door,’ I whispered into her sweet smelling hair and released my arms from around her.

‘Mmmm,’ she hummed like she was high on something.

It was my blue energy. That is what it does to mortals. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid. At least she didn’t get the full force of it because then she would have had a fatal addiction.

She linked her arm with mine and we fell into step and walked to her apartment door. She didn’t knock or get her key out. Instead, she turned to me and drank in my eyes, connecting us again.

I should have looked away or knocked on the door for her, but I didn’t want to. The chemical reaction to her in my human body was of pure elation. I needed more of her.

She moved her hand up to the side of my face and touched me with a lightness that ignited my being. ‘Thank-you Liam,’ she whispered. She moved so close to me that I was sure that she was in my blue energy zone. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel her lips on mine. My body was aroused and I had never felt this awareness before. It was like a drug.

She tilted her head and closed her eyes, our lips almost touching. I blinked hard to break my heightened sense of arousal.

What was I doing? She and I could never be a ‘we’.

‘Good night Sarah. Thank-you for coming to Selena’s funeral with me ... sleep well,’ I whispered against her lips while I ran my fingers down the length of her hair and stepped back from her.

She breathed in, deeply gazing at me like a girl crazy in love, in a dreamy state, and smiled before she opened her door and disappeared into her mother’s apartment.

I turned and headed to the elevator in a brisk walk. The night mist would be coming soon, along with the mysterious seen and unseen creatures of the night. I had to get to the safety of my home.

Within ten minutes I had arrived at my apartment by cab. The apartment door opened without me touching it.

Bad news … a reprimand was coming my way.

Negative vibes flowed from the door like a deep resonating double bass infiltrating the air with sound waves of doom.

‘Sit,’ Albert commanded as I hung my coat in the closet.

I stilled when I heard his voice, steeling myself for words, accusations and rebukes coming my way. At once I sat in the wing chair by the glowing fire and waited for my Protector to talk.

‘Albert is an ancient one, and he is there to protect and

guide you Liam. You must listen to what he has to say, or

he  will be taken away from you ...’

‘Yes mother ...’

‘You have two problems Liam. One is a menace, and one will be irretrievably fatal for you or me, I do not know which is which yet. I have been given permission only to warn you of the path that you are on, and to think about the consequences of your actions, not only to yourself but others involved. I cannot stress enough that you will not be given your mortality on a silver plate. You have to work for it, unlike the humans who can be saved by Grace alone.’

Albert had never spoken to me like this before. Our history of communications had always been to mix the serious with jokes, teasing each other affectionately about our misgivings here on the Earth. I expected him to do a post mortem on today’s events, which were numerous, and scold me about the girl. But he did none of those things.

I could feel a sense of foreboding coming from the man that I had come to love. Something that I was doing had to change.

I remained in front of the fire place with Matisse curled up beside me, purring each time that I touched her. As the flames of the fire mesmerized me, I went deeper into my conscious thought.

Was my job the problem, the three immortals, or Sarah?

My mother had warned me before I left the spiritual realm about the physical realm of the Earth.

I closed my eyes and allowed the memories of my mother’s advice come to the forefront of my vision. I could see her violet spiritual colour clearly, and the pure love that she folded around me like the wings of an angel.

‘... Be careful, don’t get caught in the realm of the perceived

physical dimension of the Earthly realm as an immortal

human, unable to return to the Light. The Light is your

rightful place. You must return to the Light.

Heed this warning ...

... The humans have two types of love Liam. One is true

and deep, the other is purely physical. They are also known

as love and lust. You cannot have any lust physical

relationships with the mortal humans Liam. You will fall

in true love with a mortal, but you cannot know her in an

intimate way. It is forbidden for immortal bodies to sow

their seed with mortal bodies. You do not own the human

body that you inhabit. It is simply a vessel in which to learn

your lessons. A mortal body and an immortal body must

never connect reproductive DNA. Do you understand this

clearly Liam? This is the law of the universe ...

... However Liam, when you become a mortal body, the

physical side of love will come naturally with true love ...

But only when you become a mortal being ... you must be sure..
’

So the problem was Sarah? She was mortal, I was not. She was forbidden. But I knew that, so what was the problem ... the three immortals? Are they good or bad—I have no idea until I make contact with them, but then that is a risk in itself ... my job? I was good at it. I worked by the code.

I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair. The word frustrated came to mind, but that was an understatement. Best if I head off for my nightly ritual of preparation for the delta zone of ministering.

After the cleansing of my borrowed body I lay in my bed and snapped off the light. At once my room was illuminated by the blue energy mass. But it now had a companion; a glowing spherical mass of soft red. It was sent as a reminder that caution is necessary.

Pushing my own energies towards the blue mass of light, I drew it back towards me until it rested in the firm hold of my hand. Its force travelled through my borrowed body’s electrical system to the centre of my spiritual being, humming and pulsating.

I looked forward to this time every night.

The blue mass of light freed me from the cage of the human body in which I dwelt. It gave me the most amazing sense of euphoria, which was a glimpse into the spiritual realm reminding me of my origin, and my rightful place to return to.

I placed my other hand around it and held it above my head directly in line with my eyes allowing it to absorb me. I concentrated on the energy of the blue light until it felt that it had entered my mind, or perhaps my mind had entered it.

I was bathed in the pureness of white Light too bright to look at, but I could feel its powerful energy, filling me with a deep awareness beyond the physical realms of the world. I wanted to fuse with it forever, but I knew that within moments it would be gone. It was a glimpse, a reminder of my home, that’s what it was.

As the return journey back into my physical body took hold, I became heavy with the burden of my immortal life—my spirit trapped in this heavy, cumbersome shell of flesh, blood and bones.

Not long now,
I told myself,
not long now ...

‘Il coraggio, la temperanza, la saggezza, la giustizia, la pazienza—courage, temperance, wisdom, justice, patience,’ I repeated into the depths of my consciousness, until the darkness of the unconscious mind embraced me, except for dreams ... vivid dreams of colour and life.

CHAPTER TEN

‘Buongiorno Liam!’

‘Good morning Albert,’ I replied.

‘Hai guardato nella sfera rossa di cautela?’ he asked.

‘No. I did not look into the red ball of caution,’ I replied and studied his face. He was withholding information from me. ‘How do you know that I have a red ball of caution?’

‘Because I have one also, Liam,’ he said, not making eye contact with me.

‘And you glimpsed into it?’ I asked.

He looked at me, raised his left eyebrow and shook his head, his double chin flapping in the process. ‘It is not time yet. When it pulsates it will be time,’ he said matter-of-factly.

‘The red mass of caution makes me feel uncomfortable Albert.’

‘So it should. They are concerned for us. The fact that we both have a red ball of caution means that both of us are in danger.’

‘Si prega di accettare le mie scuse Albert. I have brought you to this,’ I said, unable to eat my cooked breakfast this morning.

‘I accept your apology Liam. And we both know that we are in continual danger walking the Earth as we are. We must be more diligent with each step that we make. Hopefully we will be able to diffuse the dangerous situation ... ’

‘Albert ... how do I pull my blue energy force further into my being so that it cannot be detected by mortal or immortal beings?’

‘Infine mi chiedete per la schermatura della forza di energia blu!’

‘Yes, finally I have asked you! Just tell me what to do instead of gloating my dear friend,’ I replied with a smirk on my face.

‘You must form a small circle with your lips like you are whistling, then suck in air to fill your lungs and hold that air inside of you. Your blue energy force will then be 99.9% undetectable.’

‘Grazie signore,’ I said, totally grateful for his information.

Albert nodded his head to me while I loaded my human body with the food that it needed for energy for the day.

‘Vediamo stasera!’ Albert called to me as I opened the door to leave.

‘Yes, see you tonight Albert!’ I called back before I disappeared into the outside world.

*~*~*~*~*

She stood facing the expansive glass window, looking out into the cloudless day when I stepped out of Elevator Thirteen. She didn’t see me. I took my time soaking her in to my memory while she conversed on her cell phone, tapping her right foot and holding an artist’s canvas in her left hand.

She turned and our eyes connected, honey-brown to green, before the elevator doors closed, much to my relief. I had to keep my distance from her. She had already had a taste of my addictive blue energy force. It should never have happened. I was careless.

But she was waiting for me when I returned to the ground floor, sitting on the white leather sofa seat alone. Her chin rested in her hand, propped up by her arm on her knee. A smile lit up her face when she saw me again. She stood and walked towards me, entered the elevator and stood against the side.

I glanced at her and the doors closed. ‘Miss Flynn, which floor would you like to venture to today?’ I asked in my proficient elevator voice.

She did not reply.

I narrowed my eyes at her and breathed out, wondering what game she was playing at. She leaned over and pushed every floor button on the elevator. Unexpected. Careless on my part, again.

‘You are either making a point, or you feel uncomfortable with me and may need to escape at some time. Which is it Miss Flynn?’ I asked, disappointed that she had reacted to me this way.

‘Perhaps it is both Mr. O’Connell,’ she answered, and pierced my eyes with hers.

‘You are mad at me because I have offended you in some way, yes?’ I asked and raised my eyebrows at her.

‘Quite the opposite Mr. O’Connell! I could not sleep last night. I had a buzzing sensation that felt like energy bouncing around inside of me. I also kept getting a vision in my mind every time that I closed my eyes. So I painted it for you just to get it out of my head.’ Sarah turned the canvas around that she had been holding. I tried to stop my eyes from widening in shock but failed.

Before me was an extraordinary painting. Before me, was the most fascinating captured view of something that she could never have laid her eyes upon. It was two ghostly pale hands wrapped around an illuminating azure blue ball with arcs of colour haphazardly thrown off from the centre of the energy mass. So, she had absorbed some of my blue energy last night, and this is how it affected her. It was like she could see beyond her own physical surroundings into another place in time.

Interesting to say the very least ...

‘Miss Flynn, that is impressive, almost mesmerizing if I may say. The colour palette that you used is so vivid, yet so subtle. Where have you seen this before?’ I asked to quell my curiosity of whether she had in fact seen a blue energy mass at some time. I raised my chin slightly and looked into her eyes. I watched her pupils dilate as she looked at me.

She started to shake her head, and then frowned. ‘Nowhere. I have never seen anything like this. My mind became obsessed with the image. And … and I felt that I was painting it for you ... so here it is.’ She held the canvas out to me to take from her.

‘Miss Flynn, you could sell this and get thousands of dollars for it. You have captured something powerful.’

‘No. I want you to have it. Think of it as a thank-you gift for saving me from the hands of Elliot McEwan the other night. When I look at you I see my ... hero.’

‘Ah … that would be the ‘halo effect’. It occurs when someone helps you out of a traumatic situation ... and is a perfectly normal reaction. Thank-you for the painting Sarah. Can I ask you to leave it with the information desk on the ground floor so that I can collect it when my shift finishes?’

‘Oh—yes of course,’ she answered, biting her bottom lip.

Something else was bothering her. ‘Miss Flynn, is there anything else that I can help you with?’ I inquired in the voice of Henry O’Connell.

She hesitated before she answered. ‘No. It is all good. I think I shall have to speak to Liam later. Ground floor please Mr. O’Connell,’ she requested after sounding cryptic.

‘Certainly Miss Flynn,’ I answered, overriding the other ten floors that we had not stopped at yet during our conversation. I redirected the elevator to the ground floor, where she exited with a spring in her step.

Well, that could only be good for Elevator Thirteen’s reputation...

The doors closed and I was summoned to the eighth floor. It was Mr. McEwan whom waited for Elevator Thirteen with his hands in his pockets, whistling. He stepped into my elevator and stood dead centre of the platform.

‘Good morning Mr. McEwan. Where are you headed to?’ I asked in an upbeat voice.

‘The viewing platform please, Henry.’

I smiled at him and pushed button number thirty-nine. There was a palpable silence as I stood waiting for the inevitable question coming my way.

‘Henry … is that your real name Mr. O’Connell?’

Not at home ... no ...
‘Yes, why do you ask Mr. McEwan?’

‘It is just that you are a dead ringer for someone I met a couple of nights ago.’

‘Under pleasant circumstances I would hope Mr. McEwan, but your
body language tells me otherwise,’ I said in a non-threatening tone.

‘He left what I would call, a bitter taste in my mouth. I think I would like to meet him under different circumstances to see if he is still ... arrogant,’ Mr. McEwan added, and cleared his throat.

‘Hmmm … that sounds somewhat ominous Mr. McEwan. I am sure whatever happened will be forgiven and forgotten.’

He looked into my eyes then, and I planted the seed for his need. He would return to me today before the end of business hours; of that I was absolutely certain.

Soon after, the elevator stopped at the viewing deck. Elliot McEwan stepped out of the elevator and into the company of his cockamamie crew; there were five of them. I liked to call them the bad boys of the office. They invested their time in wild, ridiculous, pointless feats of self-indulgent self-serving gratifications, either as individuals, or as a group, often hurting innocents in the process. Then they would meet here on a regular basis and gloat about their deeds, offering each other encouragement in feats that erred on high risk.

The elevator doors closed as their peals of laughter rang out, probably at the expense of an innocent. The elevator coasted down to ground level—the epicentre of the building. It was a busy day. I scoured the ground floor noting faces of people familiar and not.

The elevator dukes passed glances of encouragement, with body language overflowing with confidence. And then my eyes landed upon a person sitting on the white sofa.

He wore a black trilby hat, and the newspaper was open and held up to conceal his face. He wore a sterling silver signet ring depicting the Adinkra symbol
Gye Nyame
on his left hand, on the fourth finger. I lowered my head, narrowed my eyes and mind-linked with him.

‘Superiore del mattino per voi Albert.’

He nodded, ever so slightly, to acknowledge my communication, and tapped his foot three times.

His presence was a bad sign. He knew something that I did not. He was my Protector. He had come to protect me from something, or someone. Adrenalin spiked in my body, awakening my mind so that it was on high alert.

The elevator doors closed at the press of the button on the thirty-ninth floor. I was returning to the viewing platform already. Mr. McEwan stepped inside and positioned himself directly in the middle of the elevator pod again, and looked to the numbers above the doors.

‘Welcome again Mr. McEwan. The eighth floor?’ I asked, and looked directly into his blood shot blue eyes. Did he drink something, or smoke something perhaps?

He blinked and nodded, emanating a low mood.

‘You do not enjoy riding in elevators do you Mr. McEwan?’ I noted.

His head turned towards me, his eyes questioning.

‘Whenever you enter my elevator car you stand directly in the centre of the floor—the safest place to be,’ I added.

He remained silent, unresponsive.

‘Where is Miss Flynn lately Mr. McEwan? I hope that she is well and has not come down with something. She was always so eager to see you, to be in your company. Her eyes would light up whenever she saw you. I am pretty sure that she was smitten with you actually.’ I smiled at him and shook my head.

Mr. McEwan ran his hand through his hair before he cupped his hands over his face. I had hit a raw nerve—planted perfectly to enter into his subconscious to bring his wrong doings to the surface.

‘Henry, I think I have done something terribly wrong. Yesterday morning, Sarah delivered a restraining order to me. But I don’t know what I have done to upset her!’ His hand shook as he handed the restraining order papers to me to look at. His face was doleful and his voice taut.

I frowned as I looked at the papers. ‘Did you go out with her the night before Mr. McEwan?’ I asked, and handed the papers back to him. I stopped the elevator car from descending to the eighth floor.

‘Yes. She was with me at a bar. I was drunk Henry, legless. I can’t remember much about the night at all. And what I do remember is sketchy to say the least, except I am sure that you were there—but your eyes were a different … colour. And, you acted differently.’

‘Mr. McEwan, you are well aware that alcohol will impede with recollection of memory, and may even change details of what you thought that you saw, your brain making up things to connect the missing pieces. Where do you think you saw me?’ I asked, curious as to how much he did remember of that night.

‘In an alleyway, threatening me,’ he responded.

‘What were you doing in an alleyway?’

‘That’s the thing. I have no idea!’ He placed his hands over his reddened face, and a quiet sob escaped from his chest. ‘I can’t remember some parts of the night. It comes up blank when I try to piece it together. I worry that I might have hurt Sarah—but I just can’t remember!’ He looked up to the ceiling of the elevator and clenched his jaw. ‘But I must have done something, for her to give me this,’ he spat, holding out the restraining order with a hand tremor. ‘And now it is on my record. I need to know what I did before I lose my mind over it. I have already started drinking more to take away the worry.’

He shoved the restraining order back into his pocket and then kicked the elevator wall, making the car wobble on its cables.

‘Mr. McEwan, I know a man who can help you with something called Recovered Memory Therapy. He is—’

‘I want to have sex with her. But I just. Can’t. Get. Her. To do it with me. I mean, I would just look at her and
really
want her ...
so badly
. Even now, just thinking about her I feel …’ He squeezed his eyes shut and lifted his face to the ceiling of the elevator, grunted, and ran his hand through his hair. ‘You feel it too when you see her Henry, don’t you? She has this thing about her that you think that being intimate with her would be like ... beyond ecstasy. Right now I want to get out of this elevator, go and track her down and pin her to the ground and fu—’ He froze, fell to his knees and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.