Mortal Fear (23 page)
Authors: Greg Iles
You mean like a cult? Like the California police were assuming?
No, no. Forget that drivel you heard in New Orleans. True cult murders are almost nonexistent. Ninety-nine percent of cult homicides are committed for standard motives. For example, a cult leader will mask the elimination of a rival as a ceremonial killing. More often than not, its lawyers and the media who turn homicides into satanic murders.
Lenz touches the fax with his forefinger. No, were dealing with something altogether different here. No threat at all, you notice that? Not even any baiting. The author was simply trying to communicate his thoughts. He really believes we cannot find himor them, as the case may be.
My gut tells me the author of the note may be right.
Daniel asked whether this might be the work of a
disgruntled employee or prankster inside the Bureau, Lenz muses. I dont think theres much chance of that.
But if youve never seen a note like this, maybe the killer
didnt
write it.
Oh, he wrote it. I perceive the lack of overt threat as
more
dangerous. The work of a more confident, and thus more organized, personality. And here... I think he actually believes we might stop hunting him if we understood his work, whatever that is.
I read softly: We will sacrifice no more lives than necessary. What do you think that means?
Were dealing with some degree of megalomania here. A tremendous egoor group of egosthat believes itself a part of some grandiose or holy mission. Thats fairly common. Who knows what kind of twisted logic leads him to think that by killing he is saving the human race. Hitler thought he was sacrificing no more lives than necessary when he murdered six million Jews.
I dont know, I say, scanning the note again. The tone is eerie. Like Jonas Salk trying to explain his polio vaccine to a bunch of Stone Age bushmen. You know, Some of you may be paralyzed from this, but in the end its for the greater good.
Albert Sabin had the live vaccine, Lenz says softly. But youre right.
Dallas was his early warning system. This is his response. He invaded the FBIs computers to send it. That fact alone is his threat. Hes telling you youre not in his league, Doctor.
Hes wrong, Lenz says quietly. He waves his arm at the arrayed technology. Tonight is the
commencement de la fin
.
The what?
The beginning of the end.
I memorize the message before Lenz can set it aside.
I told Daniel Id get back to him in an hour with an analysis, he says. Were going to spend that hour on EROS. Are you ready to guide me, Cole?
Despite my fatigue and my anger at being coerced into my present position, a powerful current of excitement is
circulating through me. The man who killed Karin Wheat just issued a direct challenge, and no Southern male is very good at ignoring those. It may be juvenile and atavistic, but it definitely gets the pulse pounding. I take a huge bite of cold pizza and wash it down with Diet Coke.
Lets nail this arrogant son of a bitch.
Dr. Lenz and I have been logged onto EROS for nearly two hours. He went into Microsoft Word for five minutes to compose an analysis of the Strobekker note and fax it to Daniel Baxter at Quantico, but aside from that, weve been trolling the private chat rooms like bass fishermen on a slow morning, casting spinners under likely looking trees and piers, dragging artificial worms across dark bottoms. With Jan Krislovs conditional approval, Miles has given Lenz the ability to monitor rooms that the subscribers believe to be private. The psychiatrist seems surprised by each new encounter, whether a steamy tryst in Regency England or a postnuclear tte-a-tte in some virtual retropunk dive.
All my system queries on the Strobekker account have come back:
Subscriber not currently logged on
. The characters scrolling across my screen turned to alphabet soup long ago, and the dot-matrix printer recording them now sounds like a herd of cocaine-addicted gerbils.
Suddenly my eyes come clear and a numbing tingle heats the back of my arms. Move over! I tell Lenz, jumping up from the Toshiba.
Before he can even get out of his chair, Im clicking the Dell out of the room he was in and into the room I was monitoring.
What is it? he asks over my shoulder. Is it Strobekker?
Maybe, I reply, reclaiming my seat at the Toshiba. Just read and follow along.
Lenz takes his chair and leans forward until his nose is almost against the screen of the Dell. Levon and Sarah? Those arent his aliases.
I think Levon is him.
Why hasnt Turner called, then?
Read the screen, damn it! Read Levon.
This stuff about God?
Yes! Look how quickly his responses pop up. And not a single error. Now shut up and read!
I focus on the dialogue moving down my screen:
LEVON> If it were given to you to create God, what qualities or powers would you give him?
SARAH> What do you mean? I cant create God. God already exists.
LEVON> But if he _didnt_ exist. How would you conceive of him?
What are those marks? Lenz asks. I saw them in your printouts. Emphasis?
Yeah. Like italics.
SARAH> Well... Id make Him all-powerful, like He is.
LEVON> Is he?
SARAH> Of course.
LEVON> And what of the Devil?
SARAH> What about him?
LEVON> Doesnt Satan have any power?
SARAH> Some. The power to tempt, I guess. But God has more.
LEVON> Then why does evil flourish in the world?
SARAH> Because humans are weak. We choose evil.
LEVON> But why does God _let_ us choose it? Why have evil at all?
SARAH> Well, to test us. Because of free will.
LEVON> But if God made us, Sarah, why must he test us? If God is all-knowing, he must know ahead of time that we are fallible. So the test is meaningless, isnt it?
SARAH> Youre confusing me. Not everyone chooses evil. Some choose good.
LEVON> Of course. We all choose good _some_ of the time. But we choose evil sometimes as well. Havent you done things
you were ashamed of?
SARAH> I dont like this conversation.
LEVON> Im sorry. Im a nosey parker, arent I? What about this? If you were creating God, what would he _look_ like?
SARAH> Well... fatherly, I guess. Strong. Strong but fair. Just.
LEVON> Why not motherly? Was your mother not just, Sarah?
SARAH> Of course she was.
LEVON> But... ? She wasnt strong?
SARAH> She was strong. In her way. But
LEVON> But what?
SARAH> Not strong like a father. Not strong enough to protect me.
LEVON> Protect you from what? From your father, perhaps?
SARAH> What are you trying to do?
LEVON> I didnt mean to offend you, Sarah. But sometimes I sense things. Pain. I sense pain now. In you I sense something dark. Hurtful. No one likes to think about those spiritual cubbyholes, but we all have them. I would make God very different than you would, Sarah. I would make God a woman. A mother. A strong mother. Strong enough to make up for the weakness of fathers. Strong enough to _defy_ fathers. There are women like that in the world.
SARAH> Was your mother like that?
LEVON> No. My mother was like a silk veil in a strong wind.
It
is
him, Lenz whispers, his eyes glued to his monitor. I remember something like that from your transcripts. Jesus.
Stay cool, Doctor.
Weve got to trace him!
Baxters guys are taking care of that. Im a hell of a lot more concerned about this woman hes talking to.
Hes still got a zero error rate, Lenz says. Hes not close to her.
Youd better fucking hope not.
Quiet, Cole! Were missing it!
Suddenly a frightening thought hits me. I tap out a system search on the Toshiba and my fears are confirmed: Brahma isnt using the Strobekker account. I grab Lenzs arm. Baxters techs cant trace this connection! Its not Strobekkers account! They dont know what to look for. Call EROS right now and give them the new alias and the name of the room!
Lenz hits a speed-dial button on the nearest phone. I read as fast as I can to catch up with the text that appeared while we were talking.
LEVON> My name is not Levon, Sarah.
SARAH> I know that.
LEVON> Would you like to know my real name?
SARAH> I dont know. You frighten me a little. I like talking to you. But you see too much. Im afraid you want too much.
LEVON> Too much what?
SARAH> Honesty.
LEVON> How can one want too much honesty, Sarah?
SARAH> You know what I mean. Its not human nature. We need little white lies. To get along with each other.
LEVON> And to get along with ourselves?
SARAH> Is that so terrible?
LEVON> Doesnt God demand total honesty, Sarah?
SARAH> Thats different.
LEVON> How?
SARAH> God is God. He accepts us no matter what. He forgives us.
LEVON> I would accept you no matter what.
SARAH> Thats easy to say. But you dont know. You dont really know me.
LEVON> I dont need to. Nothing you could possibly say or do would offend me.
SARAH> Are you so sure?
LEVON> Yes.
SARAH> But acceptance isnt the same as forgiveness. You can accept someone but still be disappointed in them. You can live with them but never forgive them.
LEVON> Not me, Sarah. Im not like that.
SARAH> How do you mean?
LEVON> In my eyes you could never do anything that required forgiveness.
SARAH> What do you mean?
LEVON> I mean whatever you could possibly think of doing, and then have will enough to carry through, that would be your nature. I would never wish you to go against your nature.
SARAH> But thats crazy. Thats like saying everything is okay. What if I were a mass murderer? Or a rapist?
LEVON> I would accept you.
SARAH> But what if I were a child molester?
LEVON> I would fold you into my arms, Sarah. Its not my duty to judge you. If that is your inclination, so be it. It is someone elses biological imperative to stop you from molesting children. That duty belongs to the parent. And if a parent were to kill you for doing that, I would accept his or her behavior as well.
SARAH> But what if _I_ was the parent? The parent _and_ the molester? That happens, you know.
LEVON> Alas, it is the rule. But then it is the imperative of the other parent to stop it.
SARAH> But what if the other parent _cant_ stop it? What if shes too weak? What if shes afraid?
LEVON> Your tears are scalding my heart. If someone is too weak, they either enlist help or they fail.
SARAH> Help? No one can HELP in situations like that! The police dont DO anything.
LEVON> Who said anything about police? One should always look first inside oneself. That is where help lies.
SARAH> But what can a woman do in that situation? A weak woman? A woman whos afraid of guns?
LEVON> Pour strong whiskey on the fathers face
and torso while he is sleeping, then set him afire with a cigarette.
SARAH> My God. Did you just think of that?
LEVON> Yes. But Im sure its been done many times. There are other ways. So much misery builds up in the world because people are afraid to act. They would rather endure. That is the nature of Homo sapiens. To endure unmitigated hell and hope that if we sit through enough of it things will change for the better. But they never do. Look at the Russian peasants. The Jews in Germany. The Armenians. One must be willing to risk everything at every moment for survival. And the more you have to lose, the more willing you must be to fight at a moments notice. If a man accosts you on the street, push him away. If he curses you, knock him down. If he is stronger than you and attacks you, shoot him.
SARAH> Are you really like that?
LEVON> I do not tolerate impudence. My father taught me that.
SARAH> Are you very rich?
LEVON> Yes.
SARAH> That explains it.
LEVON> NO! I am rich _because_ I have never taken abuse from anyone.
SARAH> I dont know.
LEVON> You think GOD takes shit from anyone, Sarah?
SARAH> Thats sacrilegious!
LEVON> Is it? Isnt that what the Old Testament is really about? Isnt that what the Book of Job says? I AM GOD AND I DONT TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY! I DONT EVEN TAKE _QUESTIONS_!
SARAH> Thats awful!
LEVON> But true, yes? God in the Bible is sort of like Don Corleone, isnt he? He makes people offers they cant refuse. And minor bosses like Pharaoh have faith in their own power, and they wake up with a horse head in their bed. Or locusts. Its all the same.
SARAH> I cant believe youre writing this. Arent you afraid?
LEVON> Of what? A lightning bolt? Now that I think of it, God isnt really like Don Corleone. Hes more like a film director. We think were his actors. We think hes in charge of us, that he has a Plan, that he wants good things for us. That he is slowly working toward some divinely inspired vision that we actors are too dim-witted to see. We think thats why we exist. But that isnt it at all, Sarah. We exist because GOD WANTS AN AUDIENCE. Whats the point of being the Alpha and the Omega, the be-all and end-all, if theres no one around to applaud? No one to cower in fear or kneel in supplication? Once in a while God shouts like Bob Barker: SARAH! COME ON DOWN! And we think we matter for a while. But God is the only actor, Sarah. That is the secret. We are the audience.
This guys scary, I say under my breath.
Shut up, Cole. This is a forensic gold mine.
Was Miles at EROS when you called?
That was him on the phone.
I feel a sudden release of tension, an inexplicable gladness that Miles cannot possibly be the man behind Levon. Already the prompt looks different to me.
SARAH> I think that kind of talk
LEVON> What? Dont be afraid to speak.
SARAH> Its what the Devil would say! To confuse me!
LEVON> You think Im Lucifer, Sarah?
SARAH> Maybe you are.
LEVON> Im flattered. Did you know that Lucifer is Latin for light-bringer? Something to think about.
SARAH> Are you trying to scare me?
LEVON> It would probably frighten you more if I told you I know your real name and address.
Hes never done that, I tell Lenz. Hes
never
told anyone that.
Shut up, Cole!
***
SARAH> This isnt right.
LEVON> Calm down, Sarah. I was only joking.
SARAH> I dont like it. Im frightened. How do I know you dont know my name?
LEVON> Everyones protected on EROS, Sarah. Thats what we pay all the money for. I just wanted you to feel my strength. To know I mean it when I say I do not take abuse from anyone. And I think you need someone like me. Someone who could take care of you. Protect you.
SARAH> You make me sound so weak.
LEVON> We all have needs, Sarah.
SARAH> What do you need?
LEVON> Love.
SARAH> What kind of love?
LEVON> Unselfish love. The love that a good mother gives her child. Could you love someone like that?
SARAH> I think I could. I have a lot of love to give.
LEVON> I sense that, Sarah.
SARAH> Im not beautiful, Levon. I want to tell you that now, because I couldnt bear to go further and have you building up all kinds of expectations I couldnt fulfill. I mean, Im not fat or anything. Im about five-seven, a hundred and twenty-five pounds.
LEVON> You dont have to tell me this, Sarah.
SARAH> I want to. I _have_ to. Im forty-six years old. My hair is brown, a little mousy maybe, but I have really good skin.
LEVON> Youre a healthy girl, arent you?
SARAH> I take care of myself, if thats what you mean. All Im trying to say is that I dont look like Cindy Crawford or anything. But Im not unattractive. I mean I get asked out at work and everything.
LEVON> Do you accept?
SARAH> Not often. Im sort of skittish about dating. I got hurt by someone a while back, and I dont think Im completely over it.
LEVON Someone at work? A superior?
SARAH> How did you know?
LEVON> A married man.
SARAH> Yes. Though it still hurts to admit it. I feel so
guilty about his wife and children. He said he loved me. But he just wanted
LEVON> To use you.
SARAH> Yes. I felt so dirty. Sometimes it seems my whole life has been like that. I try to have faith in men, but it just never works out.
LEVON> You are unstained, Sarah. You cannot be dirtied by such men.
SARAH> It makes me feel nice when you say that.
LEVON> It is but the truth.
SARAH> I dont want you to get the idea that I have something against sex or anything. I mean, from what I said about my skittishness. I mean, I feel strange writing this, but I do get stared at a lot. I mean, because of Well, men stare at my chest. Im fairly well endowed in the bosom department. Not that theyre huge or anything, but I never had kids, you know, and so theyre still, well, firm and high. Im not conceited about it. I dont even like them sometimes. Its like people dont see me because of them, you know? It alienates female friends too. But I mean, for the right man, if he liked that and all, it might be nice for both of us. Would you like that?
LEVON> The needs of the body are secondary to me, Sarah.
SARAH> Oh. You mean, like sex isnt that big a deal to you?
LEVON> On the contrary. Sex is of primary importance.
SARAH> Im not sure I understand.
LEVON> I speak of a passion you have yet to experience. Spiritual, refined, prolonged sexual union, a melding of heart and mind and flesh. A marriage of the sacred and the profane.
SARAH> Wow. That sounds, I dont know, poetical or something.
LEVON> But my time has ended for tonight, Sarah. I must go now.
SARAH> Oh. Will you be back tomorrow?
LEVON> Perhaps. I am never far away. Remember,
you are far stronger than you believe yourself to be. You need no one.
SARAH> I think I need you. I mean it. Can you tell me some more about this spiritual sex? I mean, like describe it?
LEVON> I must go now, Sarah. When you most need me, I will be there.
SARAH> Ill be waiting.
LEVON> I know you will. Good-bye.
SARAH> Bye. And thank you.
