Moth to a Flame (19 page)

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Authors: Ashley Antoinette

BOOK: Moth to a Flame
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Morgan squinted her eyes so that she could read Raven’s lips from the side and once she understood, she nodded. She interlocked pinkies with Raven, promising that she wouldn’t tell.
Raven raced toward Ethic like her life depended on it. She could not stop her foot from becoming heavy on the gas pedal. Ethic represented familiarity for Raven. He made her feel safe, and protection was something she had not felt in such a long time. When she saw his shiny new Dodge Challenger sitting in the driveway, she let out a sigh of relief. It seemed as if she had been holding in her fear for years, but the closer she got to him, the more she felt it melt away.
“Are you okay?” Morgan signed as she looked at Raven curiously.
“I will be,” Raven responded as she pulled one of Morgan’s pigtails playfully.
“I know when you and Mizan fight. I know he hits you. I hate him when he hurts you,” Morgan signed.
The words were like a punch to the gut, because Raven had tried hard to keep Morgan from seeing too much. “I thought you liked Mizan.” Raven said, trying to lighten the mood.
“I just pretend to like him so he won’t start hurting me too,” Morgan revealed.
Raven’s chin trembled as she held on to the sob that was building in her throat. She reached over and grabbed her sister’s hand. “I would never let that happen, Stank. I’m always going to protect you,” she promised.
“But who is going to protect you?” Morgan signed.
“I don’t know Stank ... I don’t know,” she replied as she pulled into Ethic’s driveway. They got out of the car and Raven kneeled down to face her sister.
“Morgan, I am so sorry for everything I have put you through. I never want you to be with someone like Mizan, and I haven’t set a very good example for you. Don’t be like me, Morgan. You grow up to be strong and independent. Don’t fall for a hustler. This lifestyle is no good.” Morgan was too young to truly comprehend what Raven was saying but she nodded anyway. Raven gripped her chin and kissed her cheek, then stood up. She inhaled deeply as she approached the front door. She knew that she looked a mess. She had been used as a punching bag for so long that her appearance looked ragged and worn. The stress of an abusive relationship had aged her, and her once vibrant eyes were mere pools of depression.
She shuffled uneasily from Giuseppe to Giuseppe as she rang the doorbell and waited impatiently for Ethic to answer. Finally he opened the door, and Raven gasped in shock. The handsome man she had crushed on when she was a young girl no longer existed. Before her stood a gruesome sight. Ethic’s face was so badly scarred from the car fire that if she did not have his eyes etched in her memory, she may not have recognized him. While the left side of his face remained intact, the right side was damaged beyond repair. His skin tone was uneven, mixing shades of black and light where the flames had eaten through his flesh. Even his ear was burned and badly disfigured. On one side he was perfect, and on the other side he was hideous.
“Oh my God ... Ethic,” she whispered as she reached up to touch his face.
He stopped her, catching her wrists quickly, and turned his head to the side, out of her reach. “Don’t,” he said firmly. Then he stepped to the side and invited them in.
“Hey, Ethic!” Morgan greeted happily, ignoring his physical change. She rushed him and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her head in his stomach.
“What’s up, li’l bit?” he said with a half smile as he rubbed her back gently. The burnt side of his face seemed stiff and barely moved as he held out his hand for Morgan to slap him five. “Let me talk to your sister for a minute. There’s a TV in the basement. We’ll be down in a minute.”
Morgan obediently raced out of the room and an awkward tension filled the room. Ethic stared at Raven for a long time. The same way she was examining his face, he was studying hers. The dark, healing bruises that covered her neck and the black eye that Mizan had given her caused his left temple to throb in anger.
“Why didn’t you call me? When you lost control I would have come back,” Ethic said.
“You left us here, Ethic. I haven’t seen you in five years. I wasn’t just going to call you out of the blue. I thought about it so many times, but I always hoped that things would get better. He was all I had.” She stepped closer to him, closing the space between them. She reached up and touched his face as tears came to her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. He let her hands roam over his burns and inhaled deeply. “You look so different. Everything about you is ...” She was at a loss of words as she stared at his ugly face. It seemed like a sin for a man who was once so fine to now be so damaged. “All I recognize are your eyes.”
“I can say the same thing about you. You let him break you.”
“I thought he loved me. I trusted him,” Raven replied, her head hung low in embarrassment.
Ethic lifted her chin with one finger as his hand gently graced her face. “He used you, Raven. Mizan wanted to take your father’s place and he got to him through you. You gave him the combo to your father’s safe. He emptied it and left one brick. He was trying to set your pops up. That one brick would have been enough to send Benny away for a long time. He hit the silent alarm on the way out. Your father getting killed by the police was just icing on the cake for him. After that it was easy for him to take over. He knocked off your father’s lieutenants one by one.”
“He put the bomb underneath your limo?” Raven asked, already knowing the answer to the question.
Ethic nodded, and she doubled over, holding her stomach as guilty pains plagued her.
Raven grimaced as Ethic lay the truth out in front of her face. Inside she had known all along. She could feel Mizan using her, but the fact that he needed her for something made her feel worthy, as if she were doing what she had to do. The rules of the streets told her to hold her man down, to be the Bonnie to his Clyde, and she willingly obliged. But in the process, she had turned her back on everyone who truly cared for her. She put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes.
“Your father loved you. Why would you betray him?” Ethic asked.
“Mizan made me think I had to,” she whispered as she thought of Nikki. “Oh my God ... she was right. He was behind it all. It was him. This entire time I have been sleeping with the man who is responsible for destroying my life. How could I be so stupid?” she asked herself as her nose began to run and she sniffed loudly. Whenever she felt stressed or overwhelmed she began to get jittery. Her body began to crave cocaine. She wiped her nose as she shook her head.
“You were young, and I can forgive you for the role you played in all of this. You were dumb back then, but now it’s time for you to grow up,” Ethic said.
“I just want my life back.”
“I can give you that, but it’s something you have to choose for yourself. If you’re ready, I’ll take you away from here,” he assured her. “I can help you get on your feet. Set you and Morgan up in an apartment back in Missouri.”
“Why can’t we stay with you?”
“The lady in my life doesn’t like to share,” Ethic said with a small smile.
Raven nodded in understanding and wiped her face. She was tired of crying, tired of being weak. She wanted to start over and take care of her sister. Hatred filled her as she thought of how Mizan had deceived her. From the very beginning, he had been plotting against her.
“I just have one question. If you knew about Mizan all this time why didn’t you handle it?”
“Because you were with him and I never wanted to hurt you,” Ethic said.
Raven jumped to her feet. “But what about all the bricks he stole! What about the fire? You’re just going to let him get away with all of that?”
Ethic took her hand and led her to one of the couches. “Let me explain something to you, Raven. This isn’t a gangster movie or an episode of
The Sopranos
. I handle my beef and I don’t have a problem with gunplay, but it’s about the money first. That’s what I’m in it for, to chase a dollar. I never worked for your father.... I supplied him.”
“What?” Raven asked in disbelief. “My father was a boss ... so you trying to take credit for what he built?”
“No, I would never do that, but he built his empire off of the work I supplied him. So when your little boyfriend decided to rob your father, he robbed me, but I knew that those bricks wouldn’t last him forever. I put the word out that no one was to supply him because he owed me a debt. He went through every connect in the Midwest.”
“Mizan’s been getting money for years, Ethic. He cops his weight from some old woman. So you didn’t stop anything. He still ended up on top,” Raven said sadly. She had so many regrets that they were hard to count, but she knew one thing: all of the bad things that had occurred in her life had come from fucking with Mizan. He was a curse.
Ethic shook his head and replied, “That old woman is my Aunt Dot and she’s taxing him. Mizan is paying double for the product. Over the years he has paid me back my money and then some. The only reason he is still breathing was because of you, and now that I know how he’s been handling you, I’ma handle him.”
Raven thought of how sweet revenge would be. After all of the degradation and humiliation that Mizan had taken her through, he deserved whatever death Ethic had intended for him. She wanted him to die, but the mustard seed of love that remained in her heart for him would not allow her to let it happen.
“Please, Ethic. I don’t want you to hurt Mizan. I just want to get away from him. Karma is real and eventually he will pay for all the lives he has ruined, but I don’t want that guilt on my shoulders. If I let you kill him, I will carry that burden with me for the rest of my life. That’s giving him too much power. I just want to move on,” she pleaded.
Ethic bit the side of his cheek in rage. He had waited a long time to deal Mizan a losing hand and now she was asking him to let bygones be. He sighed, knowing that nothing was going to stop him from settling this beef. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll let it rest.”
As Raven looked in Ethic’s eyes, she knew that he was lying.
“Ethic ... please.”
Ethic looked at the expression on her face. He could not believe she was begging for Mizan to be spared after all that he had done. It showed her level of absolution and made him look at her with a new perspective. She was much different than the seventeen-year-old princess he had met so long ago. She was now a grown woman who had been humbled by life’s hardships, and he respected her for having such a good heart. He fully understood how in the wrong hands she had been manipulated. No matter how big of a front she put on, he knew that she was tender hearted.
“Okay,” he said simply as he reached into his jacket pocket and removed three plane tickets. “We leave tonight at eight o’clock.”
“I need to go back to get some of our things,” Raven said as she stood up. Ethic grabbed her upper arm firmly.
“I can get you all new shit, Raven. Don’t go back there,” he demanded firmly.
“Some things can’t be replaced, Ethic. I have to,” she answered. “Keep Morgan with you. I’ll meet you guys at the airport.” She saw the look of doubt on his face. “I promise, Ethic. I’ll be on that flight.”
Ethic reluctantly handed her the plane ticket. “Be careful, Raven. Don’t try to take dumb shit like shoes and clothes. Get only what you must and get out of that house as fast as you can. Whether you make it or not, I’m taking your sister somewhere safe.”
She nodded, and grabbed the ticket from him.
Ethic watched her leave the house as his heart filled with anxiety. He wanted to follow her. Everything in him told him to run after her, but leaving Mizan had to be her choice. He could not force her. His gut told him that she wasn’t going to show up, and he went back into the house to get Morgan so they could head out of town. By taking Morgan with him he was saving one of Benjamin’s daughters. He felt he owed him that much. Now he hoped that Raven had enough courage to take him up on his offer and save herself.
Phase 3
 
Chapter Fourteen
 
When Raven pulled onto her street, she admired the immaculate house that sat in the cul-de-sac. She had chosen it herself, designed the interior to her liking, and customized every detail. Everything about the house appeared perfect, from the stone exterior to the manicured front lawn. It was her dream home, but if the walls could talk, they would reveal the ugly truth that dwelled inside.
She took in the opulence of it all as she exited her car and walked inside. She did not want to give it up. With every punch she had endured and every bruise she had tried to hide, she had earned this house. The materialistic side of her wanted to stay and enjoy all of her life’s amenities, but the realistic side told her that if she did not leave, Mizan would eventually kill her.
She rushed into her room and went into her jewelry box to retrieve the only picture that she had left of her parents. Because of Mizan’s sadistic nature, he had not wanted her to have anything to remind her of her father. He wanted her to worship only him, and she had obliged, putting all of her faith in him. She had depended on him to take care of her and to nurture her, but instead he had demeaned her and made her feel worthless.
I trusted him,
she thought miserably as she looked down at the photo of her parents. She covered her mouth and muffled her cry as she gripped her stomach in pain.
I helped him destroy my father ... my family. He took away every single person I loved.
She wiped her runny nose on the sleeve of her shirt and forced herself to keep moving.
None of that matters anymore. Just get out of here,
she urged herself.
She tucked the photo inside of her Birkin Hobo bag and began to leave. As much as she thought she deserved everything inside the house, she took nothing else. She did not want anything that Mizan’s dirty money had purchased. All she wanted was what she had come into the relationship with: her self-respect. As her feet graced the polished wooden floors, she felt a sense of accomplishment. She knew that once she walked out the front door she was never coming back. She laughed slightly as she thought of the new life ahead of her.
Freedom was within arm’s reach as she descended the stairs, but all of that came to a screeching halt when she heard the lock to the front door click. Mizan came walking in. She could feel the invisible chains he had on her being clamped down.
No,
she thought as her eyes widened and her pulse raced. She resembled a deer in headlights, helpless and afraid.
“Hey, w ... what are you doing back so soon?” she asked. Mizan stared up at her, instantly picking up on her nervousness. She was jumpy and her eyes darted around the room. If she could have fallen into a hole and disappeared she would have, but this was real life and there was no escaping it.
“Where you going?” he asked as he nodded toward the car keys in her hand.
Raven thought quickly, knowing that she couldn’t slip up now. She was too close to let Mizan stand in her way.
“I ... I need to go to the salon so that I can be ready for tonight,” she replied as she descended the rest of the steps. She was so glad that she had not packed any bags, because it would have been a dead giveaway of her plans to flee.
“Where’s baby girl?” he asked.
“She’s staying the night with one of her friends from school,” she lied quickly.
“Friend from school, huh?” Mizan asked as he gave her his full attention. Raven wanted to bite her tongue off as soon as the words left her mouth. Mizan knew that she was lying. In all the years that they had been together, Raven had never let Morgan stay the night at a friend’s house.
“I’ve got to go, my appointment is in fifteen minutes,” she said as she tried to slide past him. Mizan grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly until she dropped the keys on the floor.
“I’ll drive you,” he offered calmly, but behind his cool visage was a volcano of rage, threatening to erupt at any moment.
Fuck, what am I going to do?
She checked her watch. She only had a few hours to make her flight, and with Mizan stuck to her like glue, there was no way she would be able to meet Ethic. She hesitated, stalling for time as she tried to figure out what to do.
“Don’t you have an appointment to get to?” Mizan asked suspiciously.
Raven nodded and walked out the door, praying that her stylist happened to be at the salon so that she could play off the situation without arousing skepticism in Mizan.
I have to get away from him,
she thought frantically as she got into the passenger side. Jittery butterflies filled her stomach, and she felt sick from the thought of Mizan figuring her out.
Please let this girl be working today ...
They pulled up to
Chic
hair studio and Raven hopped out of the car. Mizan was right behind her as she entered. Her eyes searched the room for her stylist, and when she finally located her, she smiled. The women approached each other and kissed each other once on each cheek. Mizan stood behind her like a hawk, carefully inspecting their interaction.
“Hey, Sasha, girl, thanks for squeezing me in on your books,” Raven said as she looked her stylist directly in the eyes and raised her brow in a pleading way.
Please,
Raven mouthed desperately.
Help me.
Sasha frowned in confusion. “You are the best. I know my appointment was last minute, but I’m going out tonight and I need my shit lay. You know I’ma tip you nice for looking out for me,” she said. Her back was to Mizan and she pleaded with Sasha with her eyes.
Sasha glanced in Mizan’s direction. She could feel that something was not right, so she played along. “Oh ... yeah ... no problem, girl. You know you’re my best client. I always have room for you in my chair,” Sasha replied.
Thank you,
Raven mouthed. Sasha winked and then pointed toward the waiting room. “You can wait for her out there. She might be awhile . . .”
“I’ll wait,” Mizan interrupted.
Sasha took Raven back to her booth, and once they were behind closed doors, Sasha began her interrogation. “What the fuck is going on?” she asked with wide eyes.
“I have to get out of here, Sasha. I need to shake him ... like yesterday,” Raven explained frantically. “I have to get away from him. I don’t have that much time.”
“Well, how the hell do you expect to do that?” Sasha asked. She poked her head out of her styling room and saw Mizan sitting with his arms crossed over his chest. “The nigga is posted like he’s your bodyguard or something.”
Raven paced back and forth as the rusty wheels in her head began to work again. It had been so long since she had thought for herself that she almost could not function.
“What do I do, Sash? Please, you have to get me out of here,” she whispered.
“Raven, why are you running from that man?” Sasha responded as she put her hand on her hip. “If you want to get up and walk out of here then just do it! He’s not your damn daddy.”
“It’s not that easy,” Raven replied.
“The only person who is making it hard is you,” Sasha answered. “Now, there is only one way in and one way out of here and that’s through the front door, because the back is blocked by that damn dumpster in the alley. So unless you plan on standing up for yourself, you might as well sit back and let me do your hair.”
Raven’s soul was weary as she closed her eyes. Sasha leaned her back in the shampoo bowl.
“I’m trapped with him,” she whispered.
“Look, Rae. I know how a nigga can get. Trust me, I’ve been where you are. The only way you are ever going to break free is if you choose to. Sneaking and running away is not going to solve your problems, because a man like Mizan ain’t gon’do nothing but drag you back. He has your head, Raven, and as long as he has that, you are never going to get rid of him.”
Raven tuned Sasha out and sat silently while she was primped into perfection. Her hopes of leaving with Ethic slowly faded away.
 
 
Like a porcelain doll, Raven sat at the dinner table with Mizan and his guests as they discussed their business. Her appearance was flawless, her bruises hidden behind cosmetics, and a Band-Aid stuck on her bleeding heart. She truly did make Mizan look good, but she was tired of playing a role. She was fed up. Being his trophy was no longer enough.
She was wasting the best years of her life on Mizan. It was time for her to move on. She stood up. Mizan reached across the table to grab her wrist.
“Where you going, ma?” he asked nicely, but the menacing look he gave her told her to take a seat.
She smiled curtly as all the attention became focused on her.
“I’ll be back. I’m just going to the ladies room,” Raven responded. She hurried away from the table until she was out of sight. When she saw a pay phone posted next to the bathroom door she sighed in relief.
This is the only way,
she thought as she picked up the phone. Feeling like a traitor, she hesitantly dialed 911.
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” the operator asked.
She could see Mizan looking around the restaurant for her. She had a perfect view of him, but he could not see her. A lump formed in her throat as she opened her mouth to speak, but when she saw Mizan rise out of his chair she quickly found her voice.
“Yes, I am at the Renaissance Center in the waterfront room on the top floor. There is a drug deal going down right now at one of the tables. Please send the police right away,” Raven whispered. She hung up the phone and rounded the corner. She smiled when she saw Mizan.
“Everything a’ight?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she replied.
“Then go do your job and stop being so fucking antisocial. This is the first connect I have been able to get in touch with in over two years. I
need
to plug that in.” He put his hand on the small of her back and pushed her forward with such force that she almost broke the heel on her stiletto.
She straightened herself up and rejoined the table as her eyes watched the clock. She hoped that the operator had not pegged her as a prank caller. Her leg bounced anxiously as she waited for them to arrive.
I only have an hour to get to the airport,
she thought.
Twenty minutes passed, and she smiled when she noticed the detective walk into the crowded dining room. She stood up.
“Where you going now?” Mizan asked.
“I’m leaving you,” she stated honestly as she watched the police officers approach.
Mizan’s nostrils flared as he stood and grabbed her elbow. He was oblivious to his impending arrest, and all he could focus on was that she had chumped him in public. Such a flagrant display of disrespect made him look like he was inferior.
“Mizan, if you cannot control your woman how am I to know you can handle my product?” the connect asked, laughing.
Mizan smacked Raven across her face, causing her to turn crimson. She held her jaw as she slowly turned her head back so that she was staring him in the eyes. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear.
“You deserve everything that’s coming to you,” she said. She lifted his wallet with ease as she pulled away from him, knowing that she would need money to catch a cab back to Flint. Just as he moved to go after her, the police stepped closer to their table and drew their weapons.
“Get down on the ground right now!” the officers yelled, causing chaos to erupt throughout the crowded room. Raven slipped into the frenzied crowd as they apprehended Mizan. His eyes followed Raven out of the dining room, and when she was at the door she turned around to look at him one last time. She could see the hatred and wrath on his face. A smile graced her face, and she could not help but antagonize him more by sticking up her middle finger. For the past five years he had defeated her and terrorized her life. Finally she was winning, and she only had two words to say to him as she left. “Fuck you,” she mouthed.
She took the elevator to the bottom floor and ran to the street to flag down a cab. As she stepped into the car she pulled out a neat stack of hundred dollar bills. “This entire thing is yours if you get me to Bishop Airport as fast as you can.”
 
 
“At this time, we are calling the final boarding of Northwest flight 810 headed for Kansas City, Missouri. All passengers who have not boarded yet are asked to please board the aircraft.”
“She’s not coming, is she?” Morgan signed as she looked up at Ethic. Ethic had no answers for her. He kept hoping that Raven would miraculously appear. Even if she did not want to save herself, he knew that her little sister needed her.
“Sir, I’m sorry but you are going to have to board the plane now,” the ticket attendant said. Ethic nodded and swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat.
She is not coming. She don’t want to leave him. I gave her a way out ... she didn’t take it. Now it’s out of my hands.
He gave the woman the boarding passes and he got on the plane with Morgan.

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