Read Mother For His Children, A Online
Authors: Jan Drexler
Seven children? Ruthy grasped her satchel closer, her lips pressed together. Seven children would be a challenge, but she could do it. She had always enjoyed large families. She followed Sam through the kitchen door leading to the chilly passageway between the two houses. Windows on both sides made it feel large and open, but sheltered from the weather.
She followed Sam into the house, where a girl sat in a chair, a book open in her lap. She looked up with startled eyes as Sam opened the door.
He looked up at Ruthy with disgust. “Martha's always reading when she's supposed to be working.”
Ruthy smiled at Sam and glanced at Martha. “I like to read, too. It's hard to put a book down when there are chores to be done, isn't it?”
“
Ja,
for sure.” Martha's sweet smile warmed the room. “
Dat
said we should leave you be so you can settle in today.” The girl looked at Ruthy's suitcase. “Or I could help you unpack...”
“I'd love your company, but don't you think Waneta needs your help?”
Martha's face told her she had guessed right, and Sam tugged at his sister's hand. “Come on, Martha. 'Neta's going to be mad if you don't help her instead of mooning around.”
“I'll see you later, all right?” Ruthy gave Martha a smile as the girl followed Sam back into the main house.
Ruthy closed the door behind them, looking around her new home. The front sitting room was cozy, with two chairs and a small side table. It would be a comfortable place to sit in the evenings while she worked on her sewing.
At this thought Ruthy sank into the rocking chair. Sewing for seven children? And their father? First thing tomorrow she would need to start in on taking inventory and planning for their summer clothes. Although Sam's trousers seemed pretty shortâshe may need to make sure they had enough winter clothes first. Why hadn't Levi Zook told her how many children he had in his letter?
And why hadn't she followed
Mam's
advice and asked before making this trip?
She knew why. Even if he had told her the size of the job, she would have come anyway. Any excuse to get away from Lancaster County and the gossip. If she had to suffer the sight of her Elam with Laurette Mast one more time...
Ruthy bit her lip.
Ne,
not Laurette Mast. She was Laurette Nafziger nowâElam's Laurette.
Well, nothing would get done if she sat here wasting time. She went into the bedroom to put her clothes away. The bed had three quilts layered on it, with an extra one folded across the end of the bed. At least she would sleep warm.
Smoothing the quilt beneath her hand, Ruthy felt the empty silence of the little house. Her own quiet, empty house.
For sure this was the future God had waiting for her. Life as a
maidle,
forever unmarried, caring for other people's houses and families. It wouldn't be a bad life, giving herself in service to others.
Ruthy's eyes stung.
Ne,
not a bad life, but not at all what she had dreamed of during the eight years Elam had courted her. The life she had planned was at Elam's side, raising his children, building their future together. She rubbed her hands together, working some warmth into them. Her bony hands, too large for a woman. No wonder Elam had turned from her to pretty, petite Laurette.
Ruthy knew what she looked like in Elam's eyes. She was too tall, too thin, her mouth too wide. Even though she tried to shrink down when she was near him, he must have felt small next to her. No man wanted a wife who towered over him.
Ja,
a
maidle.
That's what she would always be.
And if she wasn't careful, she'd sink into that trap of self-pity she had tried to leave behind.
Workâhard workâwas what she needed, and it looked like she had found it. Well, first things first. Unpack and then out to the main house to help Waneta with the afternoon chores. There were nine mouths to feed, and that meant there was no time for lazing around, even as exhausted as she felt.
At the sound of a knock on her door, Ruthy opened it to find a little girl on the other side.
“
Hallo.
Nellie, right?”
The girl giggled. “
Ne,
I'm Nancy. Nellie is my twin sister.”
Eight children? This was really too much. Levi Zook should have told her.
Nancy's cheeks were rosy and chapped.
“Have you been outside in this cold?”
“
Ja,
I was helping Elias with the chickens, but when
Dat
and the boys came home he didn't need me anymore.”
A cold knot tightened in Ruthy's stomach.
“Nancy, who is Elias?”
“My oldest brother. He and Waneta are twins just like Nellie and I are twins.”
Ruthy gripped the door, watching the eight-year-old bounce on her toes as she spoke. She counted up in her head. Nine. Nine children. She smiled at Nancy, the innocent bearer of this shocking news.
“Where is your
daed
now?”
“In the buggy shed. Do you want me to get him for you?”
“
Ne, denki.
I think I'll go out and see the buggy shed myself.”
Ruthy closed the door of the
Dawdi Haus
and headed through the short breezeway to the kitchen, with Nancy following. Waneta nodded a hello to her as she peeled potatoes, the noise of the children's voices making it impossible to say anything more. As Ruthy opened the door to the back porch, she kept Nancy from coming with her.
“I want to speak to your
daed
alone.”
Nancy nodded as she closed the door, and then she twitched her winter shawl from the hook and threw it around her shoulders as she barreled out the door. Five boys were throwing snowballs at each other in the yard as she passed. Would she ever remember their names? As she reached the door of the buggy shed at the side of the barn she stopped with her hand on the latch, trembling. Five boys? Sam was inside the house. She turned to the boys in the yard again, counting. There was James, David and Jesse, the three she had met in town, and two older boys with them. One of them had to be Elias, the oldest brother, but who was the other big one?
Just then one of the boys shouted to him, “Hah, Nathan, you missed me again!”
Biting back her anger, she swung open the door of the shed and stepped in, face-to-face with Levi Zook as he rose from wiping the buggy wheels with a rag. He loomed over her in the confines of the room, suddenly dark as she shut the door on the bright midafternoon sunshine. But for all his size, his eyes were the gentlest she had ever seen, with lines that crinkled when he smiled at her.
A snowball hit the outside of the shed with a thud, bringing Ruthy back to the anger that had propelled her in here. She opened her mouth to speak, but Levi Zook only bent down to wipe the wheel hub again.
* * *
“Levi Zook, just how many children do you have?”
Levi gave the freshly greased wheel hub a final wipe with his rag before he looked into the face of the furious young woman. He knew this confrontation was comingâhe had been dreading it ever since before Christmas, when she had agreed to take the job. He should have told her, but he hadn't wanted to risk her turning down the job. If Ruth weren't here, Eliza would be sure to take the younger girls to live with her as she had insisted she'd do ever since Salome died a year ago.
“Only ten.” He stumbled over his words as her face paled and she reached out to the wall for support. “But they're
gut
children and they won't be a bother to you.”
“Only ten? You didn't think you should tell me this before I accepted your job?”
Levi rubbed his hand across his face and through his beard, sighing. “
Ja.
I should have told you.”
She stared at him, her mouth twitching. Was she going to break out into tears? He wouldn't blame her if she insisted on going back to Lancaster County, but then what would he do? Finding a wife who would take on ten children wasn't as easy as he thought it might be when he first started looking. He pushed up the front of his broad-brimmed hat and rubbed his forehead. Tension made his head ache.
All the single women he knew were either much too young or they had better offers than he could give them. Hiring a housekeeper was the only alternative he could think of to keep his family together. This situation had to work, but how could he make her stay?
Ruth covered her mouth with her hand, turning away from him. When she glanced back he could see she was laughing. Laughing at him?
“I'm sorry,” she said, her laughter bubbling up so that she could hardly breathe. “
Ach,
Levi Zook, you should see yourself. You just wiped grease all over your face.”
Levi pulled his hand away from his face. She was right. It was covered with black grease. He wiped at his face with his rag, but Ruth stopped him.
“There must be a clean cloth here somewhere,” she said between gasps. She sorted through the rags on the workbench and found a folded scrap at the bottom of the pile.
“Denki.”
Levi took the rag and wiped his nose and forehead. His beard would have to wait. What must she think of him? He must have looked like some schoolboy the way he kept spreading the grease around. He tried to wipe his hands clean and waited for her to stop laughing. Could he live with a woman who laughed at him, no matter how her eyes danced in the dim light of the shed?
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the children earlier. I meant to, but I just didn't know how to do it in a letter.”
“So you thought you'd let me figure it out as I met them.”
“For sure, I didn't plan it that way.”
She pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders. Her laughter still showed in the smile she gave him.
Levi turned the rag to find another clean spot and rubbed at his cheek. “I wouldn't blame you if you decided not to stay. I shouldn't have kept this from you.”
Glancing out the small window, she watched the boys playing in the yard. She chewed her bottom lip while he waited, and then she turned to face him. “You need me, Levi Zook, and your children need me. Waneta has been trying to run the house all on her own?”
He nodded and rubbed at the grease still covering his hands. “
Ja,
but it's too much work for her at times.” At times? It was too much work for her all the time, even with Martha's help. She needed a woman to guide her and teach her the things Salome hadn't been able to during the years she had been ill.
Levi looked up to see Ruth regarding him with those blue eyes. She was nearly as tall as he was, and she held his gaze with a half smile. Her anger had disappeared quicker than ice melted on a summer day.
“You don't need to worry about me running away from a little work, but please tell me you aren't hiding more children in the hayloft.”
“
Ne,
no more surprises.”
“We'll start fresh then, now that I know what to expect.”
As she went back to the house, Levi watched her through the open door. Ruth Mummert was enough of a surprise all by herself.
Â
Chapter Two
“M
artha, get in here and help me this minute!”
Waneta's strident voice reached Ruthy, even in the back bedroom of the
Dawdi Haus,
and she sat up on the bed. The room was rosy and dim with the glow of the setting sun. She must have fallen asleep.
She hadn't realized how tired she'd been after the long train ride, but her short nap had been anything but restful. Even this far away from Bird-in-Hand, Elam dominated her thoughts and intruded on her sleep. She pushed him away as Waneta's voice carried through the house again.
“Martha!”
The poor girl sounded at her wits' end. Ruthy bent down to slip her feet into her shoes. Levi Zook had told her to take it easy this afternoon, but it was nearly suppertime and certainly Waneta could use some help.
Ruthy repinned her
kapp
and went into the kitchen of the main house. Chaos reigned. The two little girls chased each other around the big table with flatware in their hands, their laughter high and shrill. Sam scraped a chair across the wooden floor to a counter where a cake waited to be frosted. Waneta struggled to pull a roasting pan from the oven, her hair falling around her face and her
kapp
limp and nearly falling off.
Seizing a towel from the counter, Ruthy grabbed one end of the roaster.
“Waneta, this ham smells
wonderful-gut.
” Together, they lifted the roaster onto the counter next to the stove and Waneta closed the oven door with a bang.
“
Denki,
but you're supposed to be resting.
Dat
said you'd be tired from your long trip.”
“I've rested enough, and you look like you could use some help.”
“
Ja,
for sure I can, but you shouldn't have to help with your own welcome supper.”
“Never mind that. Just let me help.”
Waneta's brown eyes startled wide and she dashed around Ruthy. “Sam! You know better than that! Look what you've done to the cake!”
Ruthy turned to see Sam holding a chunk of unfrosted cake in his hand. Her smile froze on her face. If this was the way Levi Zook raised his children, he needed her more than he thought. It was time for her to start earning her money.
A vision of her elementary school teacher, Mrs. Studer, flashed into her mind. The
Englisch
woman had ruled a classroom full of forty-five children from first through eighth grades with a calm voice and a no-nonsense approach to rules. Ruthy had loved her. What would Mrs. Studer do with this mess if she were here?
Stepping to the table, Ruthy caught each of the eight-year-old twins by the arm as they ran past her. “What are the two of you supposed to be doing?”
Their flushed faces looked into hers, and then they both glanced at Waneta.
“We're setting the table,” one of them said, grinning at Ruthy. When Ruthy kept her face stern, the grin vanished.
“Then you should be setting the table, shouldn't you? Games like this should be saved for outdoors.”
The girl who had spoken nodded her head. Ruthy turned to her twin sister, ready to scold both of them, but the tears in the girl's eyes stopped her words. She was so much more sensitive than her sister. How different could twins be?
“You will need to help me with your names for a while. I know one of you is Nellie, right?” The silent twin nodded her head and she turned back to the more daring girl. “So you're Nancy.”
“You're right.” The girl grinned again, her blue eyes sparkling.
“Nancy, you go ahead and finish putting the flatware on the table and Nellie can get the plates.”
Nellie went to a cupboard near the sink and opened it, revealing a generous stack of white plates. Such a tender child in this boisterous family seemed out of place. Ruthy turned her attention back to Sam, who was sitting on the chair next to the decimated cake, calmly eating the piece he had stolen. Waneta glanced at Ruthy as she opened a jar of pickled beets and gave her a quick smile. At least one person approved of the way she was handling things so far.
Ruthy knelt next to the little boy.
“Are you enjoying that cake?”
Sam nodded and grinned at her. His blue eyes were full of mischief, but his sweet smile made her long to give him a hug.
She couldn't give in to that! This boy was a little thief who needed to be taught a lesson.
“It would taste better with frosting on it, wouldn't it?”
“Ja,”
Sam said between bites. “'Neta makes the best frosting.”
“It's too bad you won't get any, then.”
Sam stopped, the cake halfway to his mouth for another bite. “Why won't I get any?”
Ruthy rose and took a spoonful of frosting from the nearby bowl. “You're eating your cake now instead of after supper. So when the rest of us have our pieces with frosting, you won't be able to have any.” She started frosting the untouched layer of cake and exchanged a glance with Waneta. The girl gave her a grateful smile.
“If I give it back, will you put frosting on it?” Sam held out his remaining chunk of cake.
“Will you promise to leave desserts alone until after the meals from now on?”
Sam stared at the cake, considering. Then he nodded. “I'll try.”
“All right then.” Ruthy got a plate from the cupboard and Sam deposited his cake on it. “I'll frost this piece just for you.” Sam slid down from the chair and headed into the front room.
“Denki,”
Waneta whispered. “
Dat
always complains about pieces missing from the cakes, but I don't know how to stop him.”
“I have a brother who tried the same thing when he was Sam's age.
Mam
made him give up his desserts for a month when he didn't stop.”
Waneta giggled. “You'll have to threaten Sam with that. Nothing I say will make him behave.”
Ruthy set the broken cake layer on top of the first one and spread it with another dollop of frosting. Dessert wouldn't be pretty, but from the way Sam liked his sister's cake, she could tell it would still taste good.
“Do you always make the meals by yourself?”
Waneta drained a pot full of cooked potatoes. “Usually. Martha is supposed to help me, but she always disappears just when I need her.”
Ruthy tried to remember who Martha was, then placed her. The girl with her nose in a book in the
Dawdi Haus
earlier. Levi Zook needed more than a housekeeperâthat man needed someone to take his younger girls in hand. He had been right when he said this task was too big for Waneta.
While Waneta piled slices of ham on a platter and filled the table with green beans, carrots, bread and pickles, Ruthy mashed the potatoes. Waneta sent Nancy to the back porch to ring the dinner bell, and soon the kitchen was full of children finding their places on the long benches that sat along the sides of the big table. Levi Zook came into the kitchen last, combing his fingers through his beard. Once he took his seat at the head of the table, Ruthy took the only place left, on the end opposite Levi Zook.
Every eye at the table was focused on her and she felt her face grow hot. Had she done something wrong? Were they waiting for her to do something?
“She's sitting in
Mam's
chair,” said one of the older boys.
Ruthy started to rise. She wasn't here to take their
mam's
place.
“It's all right Nathan,” Levi said. “Ruth, that is your place at the table for now.” Levi looked at the boy who had spoken and the older brother sitting next to him. “Your
mam
is gone. We will not make her place at the table a shrine.”
Both boys lowered their eyes, their necks red.
Ach, ja,
they missed their
mam.
It would take some time for them to get used to Ruthy being here.
Levi cleared his throat. “Let's pray.”
Ruthy bowed her head and silently began reciting her mealtime prayer in her head. Before she was done she heard the distinct clink of Levi's fork against his plate. Was that his signal the prayer was over? She raised her eyes to see him staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face.
How did he feel about her sitting in his dead wife's chair? However he felt, Levi Zook needed her.
* * *
As soon as Levi had come into the kitchen for supper he could feel the change. The bustling kitchen, normally noisy and chaotic, had an undergirding of order Levi hadn't seen since before Sam was born.
And now the reason for that difference was sitting at the opposite end of the long table from him. Ruth sat at the foot of his table as if she had always done so, accepting the dishes of food passed to her and helping Sam cut the meat on his plate. She smiled at each of the children as she spoke to them, introducing herself to Nathan and Elias, who had been outside since she arrived, and asking about each of the children's favorite foods.
The sound of her voice was a balm that soothed a festering need. When Salome died a year ago, a light had gone out in his home, but now the small flame of a woman's influence was sputtering to life again.
Levi speared a chunk of ham and swirled it in his mashed potatoes before bringing it to his mouth with a satisfied sigh. He had done a good thing when he put that notice in
The Budget,
no matter what his sister, Eliza, said. His children needed a woman's touch, that's all, and they belonged at home. Farming them out to relatives wouldn't be good for them at all.
He took another bite of ham and potatoes, and then reached for his glass of milk. Eleven pairs of eyes followed every movement, and he became aware that silence had descended on the table. He glanced at Ruth, and found her staring at him.
Levi finished chewing, and then took a swallow from his glass. His children looked expectant, except Sam, who looked down at his plate when Levi's gaze reached the far end of the table. Ruth's expression hadn't changed.
“Did you hear me, Levi Zook?”
Her hair glowed like gold in the light from the kerosene lamp above the table. Had she said something to him?
“
Ne,
Ruth, I didn't hear you.”
“I said Sam seems to be at loose ends here in the house all day. I asked when you will take him out to do barn chores with you.”
His face grew hot as Ruth kept her gaze on him. She hadn't been here more than a few hours, and already she was telling him how to raise his son?
Ja,
well, she was right, it was time for Sam to join him in the barn. It was another thing he had neglected in the last year. Shame threatened, but irritation quickly squelched it. He should have taken this action sooner, but no woman was going to dictate how he raised his children.
“Sam will join me in the barn when I'm ready for him to, and not a moment sooner.”
Ruth's face reddened as her eyes narrowed. She opened her mouth to speak, but Sam's voice piped up. “I'm ready now,
Dat.
Jesse has been helping you since he was little, and I'm almost as big as him.”
Levi glanced at Jesse. At seven years old, he still wasn't much bigger than his little brother. He hunched his shoulders around his slight frame as if he wanted to slink away from the table. He hated being the center of attention.
Jesse had been helping in the barn for a couple of years already, but he still needed a lot of help and training with his chores, which took time. With Sam there, it would take even more time away from his own work, but on the other hand, the two smaller boys could help each other.
She was right.
But he would take himself behind the woodshed for a thrashing before he gave in to this woman now. This was his family and he would have the final say in how his children were raised.
He stood up, his chair scraping against the wooden floor. “I'm going out to finish the chores.”
He grabbed his hat from the hook by the back door and stormed through the porch, snagging his coat from the wall as he went.
The meal had started out so well, before she interfered. Levi stopped beside the chicken coop, taking a deep breath of the frigid January air. Before she made a simple suggestion.
He reached into the pockets of his coat for his gloves and pulled them on, turning to face the house. Light from the kitchen windows gave a warm glow to the snow of the barnyard, pulling his gaze back to the table he had just left. He could see the shadowy forms of his children through the white curtains and their voices drifted to him in the still night. Elias's deep bass chuckle rumbled through the higher pitches of the other children's laughter.
Pride had forced him out here into the dark, but he was right, wasn't he? He was the man in this house, not some upstart woman who comes in and tries to take over.
A woman he had invited. A woman he was paying to run his house for him.
What bothered him most was that she was right. It was past time for him to bring Sam along as he worked. Next year his youngest son would start school, and he would have missed his opportunity to start him out right.
Cold forced him away from the golden glow of the kitchen window and into the cowshed. He lit the lantern and checked on Moolah, the tall, bony Holstein. She was his best milker and due to drop a calf in a few weeks. She blinked an eye at him and chewed her cud. She was nice and comfortable tonight.
Levi went through the cowshed and into the main barn. The constant rustling in the vast haymow above him was interrupted by a thump and a squeak as one of the barn cats ended a successful hunt. A moment of silence, and then the rustling started again as the mice resumed their endless quest for food. He opened the door of the workshop and hung the lantern on its hook. He had been sharpening knives before the supper bell rang, and he might as well finish the job now.
He picked up one of the kitchen knives and tested its blade with his thumb. Taking the whetstone, he started the circular motion that would bring back the fine, sharp edge. From the workbench he could see the kitchen window. Movement behind the curtains told him the girls were clearing the table. Before long the children would bring out the projects they were working on during their Christmas vacation from school. This was the time of the evening when he enjoyed sitting close by, reading
The Budget
or a farm magazine, ready to answer any questions they had.