Mother Load (24 page)

“Oh, Anna.” His strong arms went around her shoulders, a comforting reminder that her family would be her rock if she needed them. “Is he all right?”

“He’s stable again. It’s something called respiratory distress syndrome. It’s pretty common for preterm infants, but once their lungs reach a certain threshold they’re usually out of the woods.”

“You should have called us. We could have picked up Andy, or I could have stayed over with him. It’s bad enough that you had to be out so late, but him…”

She shook her head. “No, we wanted him there. That’s his little brother fighting for his life, and we all needed to be there to support each other. Besides, Andy’s already feeling like he’s on the outside of the circle since we’re spending so much time at the hospital. And to make matters worse, now I’ve gone and hurt his feelings.”

“I don’t even know why you’re here. Take him and go on to the hospital.”

“That’s where we’re headed after work. Lily’s being discharged today. We’ll probably have to drag her out of there, especially after last night.”

“Seriously, beat it. Your dad and I can hold down the fort, and if we absolutely need you, we’ll call.”

Given the kind of day she’d had, leaving work now probably wasn’t a bad idea. First she had to make up with her son.

“I saw Andy run into the conference room.”

She could barely make out his dark figure huddled among the chairs beneath the long table. “Hey, pal. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m tired and I’m worried about Georgie, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” She pulled out a chair and crawled to sit cross-legged beside him. “Will you forgive me?”

His only reply was to sniff loudly and wipe his nose on his sleeve.

“I bet you’re tired too. Are you worried about your brother?”

He nodded. “It makes Mama sad.”

“It sure does, just like when you have asthma. We want all of our children to be healthy—you, Eleanor and Georgie.” She tugged him into her lap and kissed the back of his head. “The doctor is taking real good care of him though. When he grows bigger and stronger, he won’t be sick anymore.”

“Mama says I might not have asthma anymore when I get big. And if I get better, and then he gets better too we’ll both be big and strong.”

She loved his optimism, and decided then and there to share it, since it felt so much more uplifting than fear. “I bet you’re right. Mama comes home today, you know. She’ll be sad to leave your brother and sister at the hospital but it’ll make her happy to be with you again. I think we should take her a present. Would you like that?”

“What would we get?”

“Marco just called and said he has four new Routans. What if we went over there now and picked one out? We could drive it to the hospital and surprise Mama.”

His face lit up at the prospect of choosing another family car. “Can we get a silver one that’s black on the inside?”

“We’ll have to see what they have.” He squirmed to climb out of her lap but she held him fast. “Wait, we still have a couple of things to clear up. I think the way you’ve helped Mama and me these last few days has been very brave. I’m proud of you and I love you very much.”

“I love you too.”

“Do you forgive me for yelling at you? I’ll try not to do it again.”

He poked her shoulder emphatically as he answered, “I…forgive…you.”

“Good, I feel better now.” She truly did, lighter than she had felt in days.

Lily folded the last towel and added it to the stack on top of the dryer. The basket probably wasn’t that heavy but Anna had read her the riot act about carrying even small bits of laundry or groceries. Beth’s four-week restriction period had passed and she felt plenty strong, but that made no difference to Anna. At least her itchy stitches were gone, though the scratchy pubic hair was just as bad.

Since coming home from the hospital almost five weeks ago she and Anna had settled into a routine that maximized the time they spent with Andy while also providing lots of hands-on nurturing for Eleanor and George at the hospital. After dropping Andy at school, she would spend the entire day in the neonatal unit, usually holding Eleanor, who after a week of training had finally been persuaded to take a breast. Lily was thrilled to finally experience this maternal connection, though Eleanor seemed indifferent when it came to the choice of a breast or bottle. At least it meant Anna could help handle feedings.

Whenever Eleanor fell asleep on her chest, she would snake an arm through the hole in the side of George’s incubator, urging him to clutch her finger as she tickled his hand. He grew more responsive every day and had been off the ventilator for over a week. Sylvie said his lungs would soon be strong enough to ward off the risk of infection outside his sterile cocoon. She couldn’t wait to hold him.

It was all she could do to tear herself away from the babies when school let out, but her reward was one-on-one time with Andy until Anna got home for dinner. She appreciated that his needs were different from those of Eleanor and George, and that she wasn’t confined to a small physical space or required to give him her undivided attention. He was happy with their time too, bursting with stories the minute he climbed into their new silver minivan.

Most nights after dinner she returned to the hospital for a couple of hours before coming home to fall exhausted into bed. Anna usually juggled a hospital visit during the day, along with a couple of brief evening visits with Andy during the week. It was less than ideal but it was workable, though the road time was wearing all of them out.

That would change somewhat tonight because they were going to the hospital after dinner to bring Eleanor home, five weeks to the day from when she was born.

“Mrs. Dooley let us draw pictures after music,” Andy proclaimed, unfurling his art so she could study it while she stirred his dinner on the stove. “It’s Georgie and Eleanor. See?”

Indeed she could. It wasn’t at all surprising to see what had impressed him about their differences. Both figures wore triangular diapers but one had lines leading from various points on his body to a box with buttons and dials. “This one’s Georgie, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, ’cause he has a hose in his mouth…and these wires.”

“Did you show this picture to the boys and girls in your class?”

“Just to Jeremy. He said Georgie was electric because he’s plugged in.”

“Except this one isn’t there anymore,” she said, pointing to the tube that ran to his mouth. “He can breathe all by himself now.”

“I can draw another one.”

“Maybe you’ll draw a picture of Eleanor after she comes home.” He was more interested in George, but who wouldn’t be more fascinated by an electric brother? “Are you ready for your supper? I fixed you a hot dog and some macaroni and cheese.”

“Where’s Mom?”

“She’s on her way home but she asked me to fix her a peanut butter sandwich so we can go as soon as she gets here.”

“But she’s supposed to—”

“She said she had macaroni and cheese for lunch.” Anna had become quite creative with her excuses.

When Anna arrived she insisted on eating her sandwich in the car on the way to the hospital. It was more than just her eagerness to bring Eleanor home, she said. She had left work early so they could get home before Andy’s bedtime. He was likely to be wired from the excitement and she wanted him wound down so they all could get rest tonight.

Andy led the way into the neonatal unit where Kathy greeted him exuberantly. “Andy, your sister is so excited about coming home with you. She’s been talking about you all day.”

“She has not,” he said with a grin, knowing he was being teased. “She can’t talk yet.”

“No, but she smiles whenever I say your name. Come here and see for yourself.”

She leaned over Eleanor’s bed and sang Andy’s name, prompting her eyes and mouth to open wide. “See?”

It was a relief to see Andy so delighted with his sister. Ever since they had made a concerted effort to give him special attention, he had calmed considerably and the bedwetting had stopped. Once the babies were home it would be impossible to concentrate solely on his needs, but Lily was confident they could find the right balance between having him help with his siblings and giving him his own time to play.

Kathy handed her a towel for her shoulder. “She ate a little bit about an hour ago but I bet she’s still hungry if you want to feed her while they’re visiting George.”

Anna helped Andy wash his hands so they could play with George. He had grown more alert in the last few days, gripping a finger without hesitation and even meeting their eyes when they tried to entertain him. Sylvie assured them his progress would accelerate now that he was breathing better, and he would follow his sister home within a matter of weeks.

Lily opened her shirt and lifted Eleanor from her bed. Home. The word resonated in her head as she took in the decorations of the room that had been her second home for over a month. Cards, balloons and stuffed animals lined the shelves, one of the few reminders there were other people in the world besides just the five of them and the hospital staff, practically the only people she had seen since the accident.

She held her breast until Eleanor latched on, and then settled back into the sublime sensation. Andy came close to watch and even held out his finger so Eleanor could clutch it while she ate.

A flash went off as Anna took a picture with her cell phone. “That’s too perfect not to save. I should send that out to our friends.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Just what I need, my boob on someone’s screensaver. But you know, there is someone I would like you to send it to. Karen Haney. She’d really like that.” Karen had sent pink and blue stuffed rabbits for the babies and an enormous Easter basket for Andy, saving the day, since she and Anna had totally forgotten the holiday.

Anna caught her eye and pointed first to her watch then to Andy.

She gestured to Eleanor, who had stopped nursing but had dozed off still clinging to her breast.

“She could stay that way for an hour or more,” Anna urged gently.

“I know.” But Lily couldn’t bring herself to move. This moment—all five of them together in such a tranquil setting—was too precious to disrupt, and she felt her tears gathering at the realization it had to end.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to leave George. He’ll be here all by himself.”

“Sweetheart,” Anna said, kneeling beside her. “We’re not leaving him behind. We’re giving him what he needs, and we have to be strong enough to do that. If we just hold on for a little while longer, we’ll all be home.” As she spoke, she scooped Eleanor onto her shoulder and patted her back. “Go give George a little love so we can get these two tucked in. I promise I’ll be back here in the morning to sit with him, and you can come back tomorrow night as soon as I get home.”

The promise of seeing him again soon wasn’t much of a comfort, but Anna’s plea that she be strong gave her the courage to do what they had to do. As Anna got Eleanor situated in her carrier, Lily leaned over George’s bed and snaked her hand through the opening on the side. When her finger stroked his head, he opened his eyes to watch her. “Be strong, little guy. We love you, and it won’t be a real home until you get there.”

Anna sucked in a breath so she could fasten her skirt. She hadn’t worn this gray suit for several months, not since eating on the run had become the standard. Too many sandwiches and muffins. She usually wore slacks and a jacket to work, but today she had a meeting downtown for the Chamber of Commerce, one she would enjoy immensely, since it was her first since handing over the gavel of the presidency last month.

In the kitchen, Andy and Lily were finishing breakfast as Eleanor took her morning nap in her carrier, which sat on the kitchen table.

“Hurry up, pal. We’re going to be late.”

“Don’t forget to take George’s lunch,” Lily said, holding up two bottles of expressed milk. The bruises under her eyes from her broken nose had faded to almost nothing, but she still appeared tired. They all did.

“Maybe I’ll even stick around while he eats. My meeting isn’t until nine thirty, and it won’t matter if I’m a few minutes late because I’m not in charge anymore.”

“Hallelujah!” They all felt relief to be out from under the pressure of the Chamber.

Anna brushed her nose against Eleanor’s. “You’re getting to be such a big girl.”

“Four pounds, seven ounces. Can you believe it? Almost a pound more than her brother.”

“Kathy says he’ll take off too once he starts to nurse.”

“Who knows when that’ll be? I wish Sylvie would get back from vacation.”

“At least he’s out of the woods. She never would have left if she’d been worried about him.”

Anna dropped Andy at school and drove to the hospital, where she found George alert and instantly attuned to her presence through the glass top of his incubator. “Hi there, sweet boy. Did you sleep well?”

“He slept splendidly,” Sylvie declared, appearing by her side.

“Welcome back. How was your trip?”

“Je suis fatigué,” she answered with a moan before smacking her forehead. “Apologies. I visited with my family in Québec, and it takes me a day or two to shift the gears in my brain back to English.”

“Have you had a chance to see George yet? How do you think he’s doing?”

Her answer was a low chuckle, and she rubbed her hands together. “I think it’s time he told you himself.” She gestured toward the recliner where they had given Eleanor Kangaroo Care.

“You’re kidding. Are we ready?” Anna wasted no time changing into one of the hospital’s cotton tops and getting situated in the chair. Her heart raced with excitement as Sylvie drew him from his bed and placed him face down upon her chest.

He squirmed at first to find himself in such a foreign position, but when his tiny fist closed around her finger it was as if he knew he was okay.

Anna gestured toward her purse. “Quick, find my phone and take a picture.”

Sylvie took several photos, finally zooming in as George fell asleep against her bare breast.

“Now do me a favor and send that one to Lily.”

Seconds later the phone rang to Lily’s excited screams. “I can’t believe I’m missing this. I’m so jealous.”