Authors: K.S. Adkins
“You stayed close to save my sorry ass while I fucked other women, wishing…”
“Please don’t say you fucked other women wishing they were me because they were
not
me. I can say this because had it been me you’d never
want
another woman,” she says with a look of pure murder on her face.
“Are you fucking anyone else I should know about?” Now I’m thinking of a faceless man between her God damn thighs and I was about to lose it. “Before you answer that, just know if you are, you aren’t. Not anymore. You, me, no more games. You’re done hiding.”
“I wasn’t hiding,” she draws out. “Actually, what I was doing was proving a point.”
“That is?” I prompt her moving closer.
“You, like all mortal men, get distracted by pussy. The thought of it, the smell of it, the taste of it, conquering it. Those women although painful to witness, only distracted you momentarily, I however, have the ability to distract you constantly. My existence is the biggest threat to your safety.”
All I heard was pussy. Sliding next to her, moving her legs over my lap I run my fingers up her legs. Her face is close to mine, the closest it’s ever been and she’s still yapping. “Damn straight you distract me and all I had to go on was your voice.” I say while watching her eyes get heavy. “I hurt you,” I tell her tucking her hair behind her ear. “And I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she says staring at my mouth.
“You need what I can give you,” I say watching her get hungry. “Come and get it, beauty.”
Despite her injury she did.
Getting dressed and forgetting this ever happened was top priority. Only Digger wasn’t going to let me go that easily. Each time we do this, he seems to think he’s one step closer to locking it down. He was an itch, a convenience and a distraction. “What’s the rush?” he asks patting the mattress.
“I have things to do,” and regrettably, he was one of them. If it didn’t take thinking of Gadget to get me off, I would admit that Digger was good looking. While not the best operator in the business, he fought dirty and had the stats to prove it. He followed the rules and took my advice, hard not to respect the guy. Sighing to myself, he still wasn’t Gadget.
“Babe,” he says reaching for me. Moving out of reach, I button my pants and let out a deep breath.
“Stop,” I warn him. “I’m not your babe. I never will be your anything.”
“Camo,” he groans. “Stop with the fucking games.”
“This is over,” I tell him grabbing my bag. “I’ll find someone else. I suggest you do the same.”
“I don't want anyone else,” he says sitting up. Now he’s pissed and determined. Good job idiot… “We’re good together.”
“You aren’t the one I want,” I remind him again.
“I will be.”
Rolling my eyes, I see myself out and knew I’d never be back. Damn you, Gadget, you ruined me…
I have no backbone.
Gah, I’m an embarrassment to women everywhere. One minute he’s talking about other women, which cuts me wide open. Then he’s apologizing which helps with the pain because I know he’s sincere. Now he’s issued a challenge to take what I want. I’ve always wanted to take what’s mine but, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.
Kissing led to orgasms. Okay, maybe not but, it led to touching and touching led to fondling which led to fucking then boom, an orgasm. He’d do that for me, the big O, I mean. But I’ve had a thing for him for a long time. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Lust was clouding my judgment. We’re essentially stuck together, and he’s got a working dick so… yeah, I’m a solid choice.
But I don’t want to be a choice, an easy pick. I want to be the one he’d pick out of a crowd. But the fact was, I was the one he’d leave behind while he used to nail the local talent to make me jealous. It worked. Look, I’m fantastic in the sack. I’ve made it a point to practice, and I’m healing up nicely, so I’ve got the stamina but, I’m nervous.
I do this; then fantasy becomes reality.
Reality usually sucks.
“You need what I can give you,” he says in a super sexy voice. “Come and get it, beauty.”
Beauty, oh my God has a women ever had a sweeter nickname? These last few days any modesty I had (which wasn’t much) was gone. The man has bathed me, bandaged me and cared for me. I’m not shy, wasn’t built to be but I was cautious.
But those big lush lips…
“One kiss,” I say leaning forward.
“You keep telling yourself that,” he says opening his lap for me.
“I can spare one,” I tell him moving in. “One is forgettable.”
Touching my lips to his wasn’t forgettable it was earth shattering. It let loose the cage of butterflies in my stomach, my hormones started howling and then he gave me tongue. I’m a sucker for tongue. Sucking it, tasting it, I fell in love with it. The heat, the texture the man it belonged to.
Carefully helping me move, I wrapped my legs around him and let myself go. “Six years,” he says into my mouth. “Waited to taste you for six God damn years.” He was talking right now? Like I don’t know how long I waited? “Wait six more to have this again.” Oh shit, he went there. He found my weakness, pillow talk.
Kissing him in earnest, he steers clear of my sore spots and goes right for the sweet spot, my face. He touches it softly like he’s memorizing it. I wanted him to. I wanted him to see me.
Outside of Bobo, he was the first who has.
Then the God damn phone rang.
Breaking the kiss was painful. Gone were the butterflies, stuffed back into their cage like they were never set free. In its place was an emptiness I didn’t much care for but was used to. Reaching blindly behind me for my phone I answered it with all the frustration I was feeling. “
What
?”
“You with that traitor, motherfucker?” he yells into the phone.
“You need a hobby, asshole,” I yell right back.
“I swear to God if you fuck him, he dies.” And I knew he was serious, and before I could threaten him, Gage had the phone.
“This Digger?” Then I had no choice but to sit there and listen to one side of a chat about me. “You the same Digger that shot my woman? Thought so.” His woman? This was news. I liked this news. “Let me be clear, you come for her, I kill you. You come at me; I kill you. Not just you, boy, every motherfucker you care for.” Then there was a pause and during that pause Gage zoned in on me. “Looking at her right now, snug in my lap. If she wanted to be in your lap she wouldn’t be in mine now would she?” And yep, he just lowered the gauntlet. “I trust my point was made.” Then he hands me back my phone.
“Uh huh,” I say absently.
“You choose him, Camo?” he asks.
“I do,” I answer truthfully.
“Knowing he has a price on his head that you’ll die saving him, he’s still your choice?”
“He is.”
“Picked a side then?”
“It’s the same side I’ve always had,” I say firmly. “You know that.”
“I’ll keep my ear to the ground,” he says softly. “I knew it would never be me. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t hoping you’d change your mind. Shoulda never been him either.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Fucking Gadget,” he says as he disconnects.
Lowering the phone I couldn’t raise my eyes to meet his. Not because I was sad or hurting over Digger, just that I had drawn my line in the sand. I chose a side. Yes, it was the right one but that didn’t mean it was easy. Now I had to make it official, and when I did, the game would move much faster.
I was ruthless when it came to the game.
But in all other things, I was ruled by feeling.
Now Gage knew my weakness too.
Him.
I couldn’t sleep so I did something I never did, I called her.
I liked that she called me first, it gave me a small amount of control. But tonight it was shot. I had doubts about my partner, shit wasn’t adding up and she hadn’t been around either. I missed the sound of her voice…
“Are you okay?” she rushes out.
“Can’t sleep.” Letting out a deep sigh, I hear a hitch in her voice. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she says sadly.
“Talk to me,” I urge her.
“It’s nothing,” she sniffles. “I was just watching a movie.”
“It made you cry?”
“It always makes me cry.”
“Then why do you watch it?”
“Because I like to cry?”
“Camo…”
“Ugh fine,” she groans. “It’s just when Geena Davis botches the play to give her sister the spotlight, I don’t know, it just gets me. She sacrificed for her, and it makes me weepy.”
Summoning my best Tom Hanks, I clear my throat and yell into the phone, “Are you crying! There’s no crying in baseball!” And when Camo giggles, I smile. When she erupts into pure laughter, I realized I’ve never heard her laugh like this. I also realized when it came to sacrificing no one held a candle to her.
Slowly standing up, she makes her way over to my laptop and sits down at the kitchen table. She didn’t speak, didn’t even give a fuck I was essentially in the same room. This Digger bullshit was done; now she was going to pout? I heard the conversation, she fucking claimed my ass. She doesn’t get to back down now. Slamming the top down, she moves her hands away and grunts, “Hey!”
“You want that guy?” I ask her, crowding her.
“Does my answer matter?”
“Yeah,” I say staring her down. “Because any answer other than no is a fucking lie.”
Taking a deep breath, she stands slowly crowding me right back. “We agree that we want each other?”
“We do.”
“Good,” she says sitting back down. “I’m not upset about Digger; he was casual, convenient. He knew not to expect anything more from me than what he got.”
“Then why are you pouting?”
“I do not pout,” she says pursing her lips. “I need to hit the wire and pick your side. I wasn’t ready yet because the second I do---”
“Shit gets real,” I finish for her.
“Realer,” she says shrugging. “Give me a few, it won’t take me long.”
Pulling up a chair next to her, I did something I’ve never done before. After she went on the wire and chose me, I started asking questions. Not about work but about her, the woman. When her face softened, I knew I chose right. This other shit can wait. Six God damn years I’ve wanted her, talked to her every single day yet I didn’t know everything about her. I needed to fix that.
“Favorite movie?”
“Pulp Fiction,” she says quickly. “You?”
“Bangkok Dangerous,” I reply.
“Ah, that was a good one. A deaf hitter,
classic
.”
“Coffee is your favorite drink,” I say as she sips. “You wear your hair up, tits smashed down and makeup to hide that beautiful face. You’re the best in the business clearly. What am I missing?”
“I love classical music. I can’t watch commercials about dogs, my favorite season is Fall. I like everything about me, I have four rifles, eleven pistols and know three forms of martial arts. I rarely take days off, I’m a closet Swifter, my favorite position is reverse cowgirl, I love tacos, and my absolute favorite pastime is keeping you safe. Your turn.”
“Two rifles, eight pistols and street fighting. Music is music but, I’ll take R & B if it’s available. My favorite season is any season that’s not winter. My favorite color is hazel like your eyes; your voice is my world, spicy Thai food, Sunday football and what the fuck is reverse cowgirl?”
Laughing she stands up, turns, sits on my lap and bounces. “It’s like this but with your dick out,” she says on a giggle. “Well actually it’s a lot more than this, I just can’t bend over yet.”
Running my hands up her back, across her shoulders and gently down her arms I whisper into her ear. “This is going to happen.”
Turning to look at me over her shoulder she gives me a coy smile that I loved. “And it’s going to be good.” Then she leans back, and I use my hands on the good side of her stomach, up and over her tits, and finally her neck. Tilting it to the side she moans, and I inhale.
“I’m going to take care of you,” I promise her.
Reaching her hands up to cover mine we both look at our skin blending. “You have been,” she says securing them behind my head.
“I mean forever, Camo.”
Did I just say that out loud?
Clearly it threw her too because she looked as confused as I felt. Then the doorbell rang, perfect.