Motown Throwdown (11 page)

“You never wanted bad shit to happen to me, always looking out for me.”

“Yeah well, I’m trying to score points with Jesus.”

“I should have told you how I felt, Kandace.”

“You can’t change the past.”

“If I could, the night you showed up I would have danced with you, talked to you and---“

“What? Fuck and discard me like the rest?”

“No,” he whispers resting his forehead on mine. “Left with you, protected you. Made a fucking life with you.”

The sincerity and regret undid me. Right then and there I knew no matter what bullshit I’ve had was nothing compared to his. “Be my friend, Kandace,” he asks. “If that’s all you’ll give me, I’ll take it.”

“My friends don’t usually show up and finger-fuck me on a brick wall, Rome.” God, I’ll never forget that either. “I can’t be that kind of friend, I don’t want that kind of friend.”

“That wasn’t why I came---“

“No,” I counter. “I did.”

“No one has ever affected me like you do,” he says moving in closer. “You liked my hands on you, needed them on you. You want it again too, I can see it.”

“Who’s the girl then?” I ask while our eyes are locked. “The one Macy said you were trying to get?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“It’s always been you.”

“Oh,” I mumble. “Can you please explain to me what I have to do with being tased?”

“Not today,” he says taking his shirt off and oh man, right then I loved my hose, I might even have it bronzed.

“Fuck,” I moan looking at the ink that spans his huge chest and crawls up to his neck. “Be your friend, yeah okay. Is this a friends with benefits thing or---”

His laugh snapped me out of it followed by his question. “You got a dryer I could use?”

“A dryer?”

“For my clothes, doc,” he says pointing at the puddle he’s standing in.

“Yeah, I’ve got a dryer, it works and everything,” I mutter stupidly then show him indoors. In my kitchen I watched Rome undress down to his boxers and almost cried when I saw they were dry. Handing me his wet jeans and t-shirt I couldn’t help but look south to see the tent he was pitching. Figures his boxers would be dry when right then my panties were soaking wet.

I made it a habit to find her hangouts. Lucky for me they consisted of three places, the library, the Coney Island and that fucker Sydney’s apartment. Tonight I cancelled my plans with my boys to seek her out only she was in none of her usual spots. Taking a chance she might have went back to the library, I catch her friend (the one who clearly hates me) walking out.

“Where is she?” I ask her not wasting time with niceties.

“Go fuck yourself, whore.”

“Have we fucked?” I ask her. “Pretty sure if we did you’d be nicer to me.”

“Oh my god,” she groans. “I don’t know what she sees in you.”

“She say something about me?”

“Move out of the way,” she orders me.

“Here me out,” I demand in return. Just then her phone rings and when she panics I lean in to listen.

“Where are you?” she asks. “Just wait out front okay? It’s okay, Kandace, we’ll figure it out when I get there. I need the address.”

The second I heard it through her phone, I ran full tilt to my car and hauled ass to the party she was at. The party I blew off to find her. Sitting there on the porch with her head down was my dream girl alone and sad. Only this time I wasn’t the one responsible for hurting her. Picking her up from under her knees I heft up and carry her to my car.

“Not tonight, Roman, please,” she whispers. “Don’t destroy me tonight, I need a time out.”

“I’m just seeing you home,” I tell her while I buckle her in. Asking her for directions when she’s done, we’re off. Ten minutes later I’m in front of her apartment but she makes no move to get out. “He cheated on me,” she whispers.

“Who?”

“Sydney,” she says staring out of the window. “He was actually in the middle of it when I walked in. I mean, I’m easy to cheat on, I’m trusting, I don’t hover and I don’t do parties. I have ‘fuck me over’ stapled to my back.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” grabbing her hand I link our fingers and she doesn’t stop me. I was sorry it happened to her, I didn’t like seeing her defeated. But I didn’t like her with that fucker in the first place and seeing her with puffy eyes put me in a bad place. “Do you need me to come up?”

“No,” she says opening the door and the interior light showcased her tears. “I don’t know how you ended up saving me, but for what it’s worth, I’m glad it was you. Roman Peterson saves the nerd from further public humiliation; your crew will love this.” She says slamming the door. Even though she couldn’t hear me I said it anyway, “They’ll never know.” But I fucking knew and ten minutes after that, Sydney knew it, too.

Kandace still wanted me.

If the tongue fuck she gave me was anything to go by I’d say coming over was the right call. Having my hand between her legs while she rode my fingers was almost as shocking as the sounds she made when she came. Never have I heard a female come like
that
before. Honestly, I think she was as shocked as I was. After she put my clothes in her dryer and handed me a towel we sat down at her kitchen table to talk. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got here but her singing and shaking her ass were definitely bonuses. Now that the hose episode was over, things needed to be said, the air needed to be cleared and she needed to let me do it.

Doing the talking in my boxers with a stiff dick wasn’t helping but the moment I found the nerve to speak it went down some. “I came here to apologize again,” I start. “Since I’m bound to do more dumb shit, maybe I should just apologize for it in advance.”

“That isn’t why you came here. Tell me the truth.”

“I told you, I missed you.”

“Why did you miss me?”

“Fuck, I don’t know how to say this, Kandace.”

“Then don’t say anything. How are you, Rome?” she asks quietly. “I mean are you adjusting?”

“A doctor,” I offer changing the subject. “You did it, you became a doctor. I never doubted it, I’ve always been proud of you.”

“I was proud of you, too,” she says looking me straight in the eyes. “You had the world in your hands, you didn’t deserve to have it stolen from you.”

When I stayed silent, she shifted in her seat then continued talking. One thing you get sick of is hearing about your own bullshit, but when she did it, it was in my defense and I appreciated that. “A lot of things about that night don’t add up, Rome. Have you thought about hiring an attorney?”

“Why?”

“To clear your name, file a suit against Michelle. We could fight to get your sentence over turned and maybe even get restitution from the state. I’ve seen my dads do it.”

“Drop it,” standing up to walk off my anger she watches me saying nothing. She’s still trying to help me but in this, there is no help, I just have to find a way to move on.

When her phone starts beeping, she checks it and tucks it in the pocket of her tight ass pants. “I have to go,” she says standing up looking like I kicked her puppy. “Let me check your clothes first.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have class,” she says leaving the room giving me nothing more. Coming back in with my clothes, she tells me she’s going up to change. While she does that I look around her house. It was clean, colorful and humble, just like Kandace. No medical degrees on the wall, just pictures of her family and friends. Noticing one from school, I pick it up and see her in a large group of friends laughing. She stood out, of course, and not just because she was tall, it was her smile.

“That was after one of your games actually,” she says pointing to the stadium in the background. “You threw five touchdowns; I almost lost my voice cheering for you.”

“These your friends?” I ask stupidly. Clearly they were I just assumed she didn’t have friends.

“They are, I still see the group twice a year.” When I don’t answer she shakes her head. “I wasn’t just a nerd, Rome. I had friends, good friends. They just didn’t run in your circle, is all. You know college itself isn’t real, the experience is, but the rest isn’t. I’ve never cared what people thought of me, but your opinion mattered for some reason. I really thought you were different but that it was circumstances and expectation that kept you wrapped up in the drama that surrounded you. I wish you could have seen it from outside your circle. I wish you could have seen what I---”

“Later, doc,” I snap tossing the picture on the couch and busting through the front door. In my car I glanced up and saw her watching me from the door with the saddest look on her face. She had no idea how much I wish I could have seen outside my circle. Shaking herself of the sadness she closes the door behind her and climbs into her own car. Backing out, I went left and she went right. Quickly turning around, I wanted to see where her class was, I wanted to see all things Kandace.

I never expected this.

To play it safe, I watched from the window (this time). Kandace, as it turns out was full of surprises and I still hadn’t told her what I came by to say.

Tonight, the theatre department set up a huge projector to watch Gone with the Wind on the lawn. Recognizing a few faces, I say my hellos and find a cozy spot underneath the tree to spread my blanket out. Around here Thursdays was a big bar night so there weren’t too many students, which suited me just fine. Sipping on my coffee, I was just about to lean back when I felt him slide in behind me. With his body cradling me I found myself at a loss for words. He’s never been this close to me before and the nearness thrilled me and scared me.

“What are we watching?” he asks stealing my drink.

“Gone with the Wind,” I tell him facing forward totally tense and waiting for the fall out.

“You like this shit, huh?” he asks keeping my latte.

“My parents love it and it wore off on me,” I explain. “It’s one of my favorite stories of all time.”

“Lean back,” he says pulling on my shoulders. “I got you.”

Yeah he had me alright, backed into a corner. Eventually I managed to relax when he asked me innocent questions about the plot and the characters. The problem with relaxing around him is that it was temporary and I found keeping my guard up was the safest way to go. At intermission he leaned in and whispers, “Everyone else is out tonight, why aren’t you?”

“I am out,” I say hesitantly. “Why aren’t you?”

“Change of scenery,” he says tightening his knees. “Was heading out but saw you and thought fuck it, I’d drive you nuts first.”

Turning to look up at him and maybe crack a joke the reality of the situation hit me. I was holding onto his knees while his body caged me in, protecting me. This I knew, this was the Roman I always looked for. “You aren’t driving me nuts yet,” I point out smiling. Kissing my forehead my mouth dried out when he says,

“Give it time, around you I always fuck things up eventually.”

That night he didn’t fuck anything up and my heart didn’t know what to do about it.

Roman changed the game.

For the last month, I never knew what the play was going to be. I used to be able to anticipate his moves, but no more. He was wearing me down, he was being creative and dammit he was trying. Tonight was the fourth Thursday in a row he showed up to the hospital with some sort of injury. Let’s recap: the first visit since he’d been to my house was what he believed was a ruptured spleen (it wasn’t). The second was chest pains (it was Mexican food). Last week he was screaming he had a tumor (this was questionable). For a guy who didn’t have insurance he was playing an expensive game.

Tonight though took the mother fucking cake.

Glancing at the chart, I roll my eyes and hide my smile. Okay, so this was seriously adorable but he was abusing my time and I had to put a stop to it. Throwing the curtain back I look into his beautiful calculating eyes and ask him, “You threw your dick out?” I ask trying not to laugh.