Motown Throwdown (16 page)

I did have it bad but I also seemed to be the only one having the problem. Outside of Lush, I didn’t know where he lived, where he hung out or even his phone number. Even if I did, I wasn’t convinced that I would reach out to him. My ego was still pretty sore from being called a secret.

Dropping me off and giving me a bear hug, he promises to call when he gets back in town. I always missed him when he left but he we talked all the time and he made it a point to stop by often. Grabbing my mail then fishing around for my keys I was scared shitless when I hear, “Enjoy your fucking date, Doc?”

Mail forgotten, I drop my keys, bag and all its contents to the floor of the porch. “What in the hell are you doing here?” I yell at him.

“You weren’t at work,” he says crossing his massive arms over his massive chest.

“Over staffed,” I snap. “You aren’t a work either.”

“Called in, wanted to see you,” he says not bothering to help me with my mess.

“You’ve seen me, now you can go.”

“Who the fuck was he?” he says coming to stand in front of me. From down here on my knees, in the God damn dark all I could see were his combat boots.

“He was none of your fucking business,” I tell him stuffing shit absently in my bag.

“I want an answer, Doc,” he says in a menacing voice.

My purse forgotten, I push up off the porch and go toe to toe with him. “Go home, Rome.”

“Get me that answer before I track the asshole down personally.”

Ignoring him, I snag my keys and push past him to head inside. My neighbors didn’t need to hear this and I needed to flick on the light to see to get my shit off the porch anyway.

“Don’t ignore me,” he says following me in.

“I’d have to acknowledge you to ignore you,” I point out. Cutting me off, he leans down pinning me to the wall.

“You want me riled up and jealous?” he says crowding me. “This is me riled up and jealous. I thought you said you weren’t into black guys? He looked pretty dark to me. Got a taste so you want to see what it’s all about now? Is that it?”

“Get off of me,” I growl.

“I made it clear you were mine. Whatever you thought to prove by making me jealous just sealed that mother fucker’s fate.”

“You go near him,” I warn. “You attempt to lay one God damned hand on him, I will drop you where you stand, asshole.”

“So you care for that guy?”

“Damn straight I do. You don’t fuck with my family.”

Releasing me, I push away from him. Slamming the door behind me doesn’t stop him from coming right back in. “The fuck do you mean, family?”

Losing my steam, I plunk down on the couch and drop my head into my hands. “You just threatened to kill my brother, Rome. Which is funny if you knew him, so just leave before this gets any worse.”

“Shit,” he says leaning against the door. “You should have said so.”

“Maybe I like secrets too,” I counter.

“Will you let me explain that?”

“No.” I snap. Then he starts taking his shirt off which confused and delighted me.

“What are you doing!” but the anger wasn’t present because I was too busy panting.

“You only listen when I’m naked, so I’m getting naked,” he says sliding his pants down. “You should try it.”

Why I laughed I’ll never know but, I did. There were times where he was the angry ex-con trying to figure this new life out; then there were times like now, that he was that cocky college boy who stole my breath.

More and more I try to find her to spend time with her but outside of our sessions she gives me a wide berth. Not that I could blame her. I had a habit of insulting her but it was only because I didn’t know how to be nice to her. Today was our second to the last session and I didn’t want to graduate, to say goodbye knowing I’d be moving and she’d be here without me. Pulling up a chair next to her, I hand her the coffee I bought her and handed her my last quiz.

“You scored a 97?” she asks dropping her pencil. “Oh my God, Roman, you did it! A 97!”

Her pride in me was humbling. I stayed up until four am to get that 97 and it was worth the sleep deprivation. The look she was giving me now made it all good.

“I busted my ass for that grade, Teach. You proud of me?”

“You sure as hell did!” she says jumping up and out of nowhere she did the unthinkable. She fucking hugged me. Bringing my arms around to hold her closer, she clears her throat and I see her pale cheeks blush. “I’m very proud of you,” she whispers fixing her shirt. “One more test then the big exam before graduation, you’ve got this.”

Too bad for me I never made it to the final exam and I never got to see her pride for me again.

I was buckassed standing in her living room.

Her desire for me, my body was thick like a fog. Breathing it in, I dialed my own lust back to explain myself. Sitting next to her I wanted her in my lap, straddling me but that had to wait. “My grandma wants to meet you tomorrow before she heads back south, I’m going to need you there.” I tell her giving her no time to think it over. “When you tutored me I looked forward to those sessions on Tuesdays like I look forward to hearing you on Thursdays. For one hour a week I had your undivided attention. I made you laugh, I made you uncomfortable and none of my boys were trying to fuck you. You were my secret. Had my clique known about you, they would have fought over you, played you for a piece. I thought of you as mine. I didn’t talk to the guys about you but I compared every notch to you knowing they wouldn’t measure up. The night I said that shit to you… what I should have said was not one bitch in that place was on your level. Not one of them had shit on you. If I had been a bigger man, I’d have told you how I felt, showed you off and woke up in bed with you. But I wasn’t a man back then, Kandace. I was a boy and I’m sorry that I made it a point to find you when no one else was around. I didn’t do it because I was embarrassed of you or some shit, I did it because I didn’t want to share you.”

“Jesus,” she whispers looking confused and devastated.

“I’m fighting a battle I can’t win,” I tell her. “I’m no good for you, right? But I want you anyway, I’m a bastard like that. I’ve got so much shit at war in my head. Freedom, starting over, my fucking past and finding you again. I have zero to offer you but I don’t care about the rest of that shit if I’ve got you.”

“I can’t fix those things for you, Rome. Adjusting will take time, ridding yourself of the anger will too.”

“Before I was locked up I was a cocky boy,” I tell her taking her hand. “I became a man in prison. I’m not that arrogant baller anymore. I had no one to look out for me, watch my back. You know what they do to rapists on the inside? I’m a product of my environment now, Kandace, except now I’m out here. In there I knew how to survive, now… I don’t have a clue, it’s day by day. When you ask me how I’m adjusting the truth is, I’m not.”

“How can I help?”

“First, I need you to understand that I protect what’s mine by blood and fist. No one touches or takes what belongs to me, especially you. I’ll never get those years back but I am trying to have a better future. I want to do everything, make up for lost time but I don’t know where to start.”

“Hold that thought, I’ve got an idea,” she says leaning forward to kiss me. Pulling her onto my lap and breathing her in I tell her, “I love your idea.” Wishing I’d told her I loved
her
instead.

Wasting no time, I stand her back up to undress her one piece at a time. When she makes a move to slide her thong off I growl, “Leave it on.” Biting her lip, she leaves it in place then straddles me again. Using my thumb like she showed me, I slide the material aside and start working her. Letting her head fall back, I nuzzle her tits before sucking on a nipple.

“Now,” she begs.

Grabbing my cock, I line it up with her and watch as she swallows me. Groaning at the pleasure, I plant my hands on her hips and let her fuck me. The feelings she brought out in me were animalistic. That primal urge was there bearing down on me. The one where I mark her, claim her and bind her to me. When her hands come to my shoulders I tell her to lock her legs up and then do something I’ve wanted to do since the first day I met her.

I wanted to own her ass.

Waking up to soaking wet sheets was my Wednesday morning ritual. After seeing him on Tuesdays I would wake up the following morning with my hands between my legs, screaming his name. Thank God I lived alone. When I dreamt the things he did to me were filthy and my height was an advantage. No guy has ever done to me in real life what he does to me in my dreams, not even close.

Picture this.

My hands linked around his neck, my legs wrapped around his waist while his cock is buried inside me. Oh this wasn’t the show stopper that happened when he leaned us forward, stood up then bent at the knees to fuck me with only his strong arms to hold me up.

I’m a big girl, I was heavy and I knew it. Clearly he didn’t notice because even if he did, he didn’t give a shit. Biting my lip sends me into a spiral of screaming his name and when we crash back down to the couch he’s there covering me with his big body.

“Was I too heavy? Did I hurt you?”

“You’re not heavy,” he says thrusting up hard. “I could fuck you like that for hours.”

“Hours?”

“Want to test me?”

“Actually, yes,” I tell him digging my nails in.

“I find your g spot yet?” he asks.

What was it with him and my g spot? “No,” I tell him gripping his ass. “It doesn’t have a sensor on it.”

“Christ,” he moans into my mouth. “Finding this thing is a two-man job.”

Wanting to laugh but needing to come I arch up and when he puts one leg over each shoulder and pounds me, it happened quickly and violently. Following my lead he pulls out and comes all over my belly in loud grunts. Falling next to me, he pulls me into a tender hug and kisses me softly.

“Rome,” I whisper.

“Yeah?”

“You do know the girls in college probably faked it, right?”

“I’m figuring that out,” he says on a sigh.

“Rome?”

“Yeah, babe,” he says sweetly.

“I won’t ever fake it.”

Minutes later we’ve both recovered enough to sit up. Watching as he lounges on my couch I feel something click into place, like it was meant to happen this way.

“Stay there,” I tell him with a smile. “I’ll be right back.” Running upstairs to change, I come back down wearing nothing but a t-shirt and a soft smile.

“You still have it,” he says not believing what he was seeing. “Or what’s left of it.”

“I’ve worn it to sleep every night since you’ve given it to me.”

“Jesus,” he says running his hand over his face. “Turn around,” Doing so, I know he sees his name and number there. “Why?” he asks tracing his last name across my shoulders.

“Because I’ve always had a thing for you, Rome.”

“I treated you like shit.”

“Not always.”

When he pulls me back into his lap, I go easily, happily. “You’ll meet my grandma tomorrow?”

“Yes, but I should probably tell you that I already know---” I try explaining but couldn’t.

“Cool,” he says cutting me off and covering me up. “I’m going to grab a drink and get your shit off the porch, you want anything?”

“No thanks, I’m good, but I need to tell you---”

He was gone for about two whole minutes before he comes back holding a letter meant for me. Scratch that, a letter he
opened
that was meant for me. This led to a whole different discussion and I never was able to finish what I needed to say.