Mr. CEO (13 page)

I
stride confidently down
the hall to Logan’s office, my heels clicking against the gleaming hardwood floors. I’m dressed in a white blouse and a tight black skirt that shows off my curves; I want to look good for my boss. For the past few weeks, this has become a regular thing for me, and I no longer feel anxious about meeting Logan without an appointment.

I look forward to it even though I still question our relationship. I know it’s stupid, falling for a man that doesn’t want to commit, but I can’t help myself. He makes me feel good. Valued. Even when I do get pissed off with him being evasive about us being together, he’s always able to deflect my ire with passionate kisses and a good hard fuck.

If I was smart, I’d leave him. But it’s too late. I’m addicted to him, mind, body and soul. And worst yet, I think I’m falling for him. Hard.

As I pass his receptionist’s desk, I nod at his secretary, Eleanor. She’s an old lady, probably in her mid-seventies with stark white hair that she always wears in a severe bun. She returns an imperceptible nod. She’s so used to seeing me show up unannounced that she doesn’t even bother greeting me anymore.

I’m sure she’s wondering what’s going on between me and Logan, and why I have special access to him, but most of the time, I don’t give a fuck. Logan is a man that gets what he wants, and he wants me. Still, I’m uneasy about being so bold about our relationship, even if it’s only his secretary who suspects something is going on. It’s only a matter of time before the whole building knows, and I’m not sure how they’re going to react when they find out.

When I get to the oakwood double doors of Logan’s office, I pause, my heart racing.

Why do I keep doing this? I know this isn’t going to end well. He’s all but admitted he wants to continue to take this one step at a time and won’t guarantee I won’t end up with a broken heart.

It’s a pointless question, because I can’t help myself. I
have
to see Logan. He’s become a necessity, like food or water. And there are no guarantees in life.

He’s told me not to knock, but I don’t like just busting in on him at a moment’s notice. I think a little heads-up is the polite thing to do. Taking a deep breath, I gently rap on the doors.

“Come in,” I hear Logan’s muffled command.

I open the doors and walk in, but nearly trip before I do, closing them behind me. Logan’s on the phone, but goddamn he looks sexy as fuck. My heart beats faster and I unconsciously lick my lips. He’s sitting in his tufted leather office chair, wearing a black dress shirt, his red tie loosened at the collar, his shirt open at the chest. His hair, which is usually gelled and slicked, is kind of messy, like he just woke up.

My core heats with desire at the sight of him.

He looks up at me as soon as I enter. “Hold, please” he tells whoever it is on the other end of the line. He drops the phone to the desk without waiting for a response presses the hold button.

He always makes them wait... just for me.

This is why I can’t leave him,
I tell myself.
He makes me feel more important than any man I’ve ever been with.

“Rose,” he says, standing from his desk and stalking toward me as I make my way to him. His eyes are narrowed and heated, staring at me as though I’m his prey. But I walk straight to him, and let him devour me.

He’s quick to wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me toward him and making my back arch as he kisses me with a heated passion I can’t deny.

I lose myself in his embrace as our tongues intertwine, massaging against each other with intense need. I fall back against his desk, my skirt rising up my thighs. Fuck. He can take me right here. Right fucking now.

Before I can shove his shirt off of him and reach for the buckle of his belt like I so desperately want to, Logan pulls away from me and I gasp, my chest heaving. Slightly embarrassed, I straighten up and pull my skirt back down, my thighs trembling.

“We can’t,” Logan says quietly, smoothing his slacks. I can see his large hand pressing against his dick and readjusting it, and my mouth waters at the sight. “And I think I’m going to have the worst fucking case of blue balls when the day hasn’t even started yet.”

“Sorry,” I say breathlessly, straightening my outfit.

“I’m good,” Logan says. His voice lacks his usual fervor. “I’ll make sure you make it better later.”

The way he looks at me tugs at my heartstrings, and for a moment, I want to bring up our situation again, tell him how much my feelings have grown even after several weeks. But I realize this is not the time, nor the place. It can wait till later.

“Can we do lunch?” I ask instead. I’ve been having a hell of a time being wined and dined at all the expensive restaurants on Logan’s dime. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to go through a drive-thru. “Maybe fast food for once?”

Spearing his fingers through his messy hair, Logan takes a moment in responding and I feel a twinge of concern. “I have to take a raincheck,” he says. His eyes have a worried look in them and he glances at the phone, something he never does. Usually he’ll leave them on hold so long they hang up.

“Of course,” I say, doing my best to hide my disappointment. I feel slighted, but I shouldn’t. Logan has literally made time for me at all hours of the day. I can’t expect him to keep doing this forever. It would be selfish of me.

Still, I can’t help but wonder,
Is he getting tired of me? Is this the reason why he didn’t want to commit, because he knew that this day would come?
I clear my throat and try to ignore my quickened pulse and the feeling of dread washing over me.

It makes sense. Now that Logan’s had his fill, maybe he was ready to move on. The idea frightens me more than I’d like to admit.

Logan dampens my worry with a soft kiss on the lips, but his demeanor remains solemn, almost sullen. “Thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

As excited as I was to walk into Logan’s office, I’m starting to feel tense. This muted welcome is worrying. “I’m going to hold you to that promise.”

“I have absolutely no problem with that.” He pauses and looks at me, noting my subdued mood. “You sure you're going to be alright having lunch by yourself?”

I flash a weak smile. Something is definitely off with Logan, and I don’t know what it is. “Yeah. Actually, Eva’s probably looking for company, so I’ll just hit her up.” I need to talk to Eva anyway, I’ve been putting her off since getting closer to Logan and we have a project we’re working on. I take out my phone and send her a quick text.

Me: Hey chica, lunch?

I look up to talk to Logan, but he moves around to his desk and shakes his mouse to look at the computer screen. My phone pings.

Eva: Yup, where at?

Me: At the Blue Cafe on the corner.

Eva: See ya there.

I put my phone away. “I’m gonna meet her at the Blue Cafe.”

Logan relaxes. “Good. Do you want to use my limo?”

I shake my head, though I’m pleased by the offer. It’ll raise Eva’s eyebrows if I showed up in a limo to a cafe that was just two blocks from the building. She probably already knows what’s going on. I get the sense that a lot of people do. Still, Iately I’m feeling different about keeping my relationship with Logan a secret. If it weren’t for his reluctance to have a real relationship, I’d want the world to know.

But the way he’s acting now has me wondering.

“No, I’ll walk.” I step forward and give him a quick peck. “Thanks for offering though.”

“And thank you for being so understanding,” Logan says before picking up his phone and taking it off of hold. “Are you there? …Alright.” Logan gives me a distracted wave as I leave, and I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong as I walk out of his office.

Outside it feels good, a cool breeze sweeping up the street. The sky is clear, and the deep blue color would take my breath away if I wasn’t in such a sour mood.

If this is the beginning of the end, then it will be no less than I deserve. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him.

I make it halfway down the block, lost in my thoughts and hardly watching where I’m going, when I feel a prickling sensation on my neck. Someone’s watching me. I turn around, scanning behind me. There are a couple of people walking on either side of the street, entering businesses, and cars driving by, but no one stands out.

For a minute, I continue to scan, my eyes darting everywhere, but I eventually give up.

After a moment, I turn and continue on, thinking,
Relax, Charlotte. You’re just being paranoid.

* * *

“
D
id
you see what happened with that celebrity guy in the news?” Eva asks me as she takes a bite out of her blueberry bagel that’s covered with cream cheese. We’re sitting in the Blue Cafe in the corner. It’s secluded and private which is nice. It’s been awhile since I’ve eaten in a place that has a dollar menu, but I’m happy to see Eva and catch up on corporate gossip and talk about the project we’re working on together.

As usual, Eva’s dressed sharp as a tack in a red pantsuit and matching lipstick, her hair pulled back into an elegant ponytail. I need her to be my stylist.

I pause, peeling the plastic wrap from around my banana nut muffin. I’m trying to be cheerful with Eva, but I just have a bad feeling. I don’t like how distant Logan was with me in his office. “What guy?”

“It was what’s his face,” Eva snaps her fingers together multiple times trying to jog her memory, “the hot young guy that plays a president on that one show and he cheats on his wife with an intern.” She motions at me as if I’m supposed to be a psychic and give her the answer. “You know,
that
guy.”

Actually, I have no idea who
that
guy is. I’m drawing a blank. Since starting the new job, I don’t watch much TV, and the only hot guy in my life is Logan. “I don’t know who you’re talking about-”

“Jake Goldwater!” Eva yells and slaps her hand on the table. “That’s it!”

I vaguely know who she’s talking about, I think I’ve watched a few movies he’s been in. I don’t think he’s anything special. “What about him?”

“Well supposedly, in real life he also heads his own company, Goldwater Productions.” She taps a finger against her chin thoughtfully. “I think he even owns a building several blocks from here. Anyway, he got caught banging one of his secretaries... on video.”

“Damn,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I’d hate to be that girl. She’ll be humiliated for the rest of her life.”

Eva gives a short laugh. “You’d be one of the only ones. There’s probably scores of women who’d sleep with him on camera.”

“Good for them,” I mutter darkly.

Eva bringing up Jake’s scandal hits close to home. The parallels are freaky. I’m not Logan’s secretary, but I am sleeping with him. It makes me feel ashamed that I just don’t come out and tell Eva. I almost feel like a fraud.

It would be nice to have someone to confide in, someone I can tell my doubts about Logan to. Someone who can tell me that I’m insane for staying with a guy, even if he is rich, that won’t commit.

Eva peers at me with concern. “Something wrong?”

“No,” I lie. “I just feel overwhelmed with all this work.”
And worried about the direction my relationship with Logan is going.

“Aren’t we all.” Eva pauses and she looks like she’s debating on whether bringing up a topic.

“Speaking of hot bosses, there’s a rumor going around about Logan…”

“Eva,” I say, cutting her off. Here’s my chance to come clean with Eva. At this point, it'll be a relief. With all my doubts about our relationship, I don’t see a reason to hold back anymore. I just hope Eva doesn’t judge me too harshly.

She shakes her head, setting aside her bagel, her face twisting with shock. “Oh no, don’t tell me…”

“I’ve been sleeping with Logan,” I say super fast. There. I was right. I feel so much better already.

Eva’s mouth opens wide with shock. “Jesus, Charlotte, how long has this been going on?”

I tell Eva everything, about Vegas, about sleeping with Logan and then leaving him. I hold nothing back, and when I’m done, I feel even more liberated. “After Ian, it was so easy to just fall in bed with him. He was just so charming and… sexy. I couldn’t help myself. But now I’m worried that we’re…”
Finished.
I feel a lump form in my throat at the thought.

Maybe I’m just overreacting and it’s all in my head.

That’s what I want to believe, but deep down inside, I know otherwise. That Logan’s hiding something from me, I’m certain, I’ve just been doing a decent job in deluding myself that things will get better.

Eva’s shaking her head in disbelief and doesn’t seem to notice my last sentence. “No wonder he gave you the head sales position.”

“So you think that's the only reason I got the sales job?” I ask irritably. I thought Eva would be giving me relationship advice, not questioning my position in the company.