Mr. Darcy and the Secret of Becoming a Gentleman (13 page)

From the side of his face, she saw Darcy suppress a smile, as he replied, “No, I was simply lost in thought. I can see why it confused you, though, since I know you never contemplate an idea for longer than a minute.”

“My ideas are obviously more well formed than yours. As such, they don't require labored contemplation.”

“It shows.”

The two men then gave each other a discreet smile and turned their attention back to the altar. As Elizabeth attempted to do the same, she had to smile at their easy camaraderie. She could not help but imagine what they were like as boys, and pictured them being caught by the schoolmaster for speaking out of turn.

As the minister directed the congregation to the page for the final hymn, she noticed that it was one of her favorites. She watched as Darcy found the page and then closed his book. He apparently knew the song well. As the tenor and bass parts began the song, she had the guilty pleasure of listening to the men in front of her sing. She was surprised by the resonance and strength of Mr. Darcy's voice. As she listened, she had to admit to herself that he had many appealing attributes. She wondered, if she had not been so blinded by Mr. Wickham's lies, whether she would have found it more difficult to refuse Darcy. She laughed at herself for even considering it and tried to concentrate on the song lest she miss her part. As her own strong voice chimed in at the chorus, she saw Mr. Darcy flinch and then heard him falter as he began to turn around and then stopped himself midstream. She thought it unlikely, but she almost believed that he had recognized her voice. Unwilling to be caught watching him, she decided to leave immediately at the close of service.

As soon as the music stopped, Darcy turned around. He knew Elizabeth must have been standing behind him. Her singing voice, like everything else about her, was deeply committed to his memory, as it was a familiar part of his nightly dreams. But when he turned, there was only an empty space at the end of the aisle. As he exited the church, he could see that she was not in the courtyard, so he stationed himself at the door to watch the parishioners leave the church. As the Bennet party exited, he was surprised to see Elizabeth in line behind Jane. He knew she had not been at the front of the church during the service but could not explain her appearance there now.

Bingley was more than happy to stand at the door with Darcy, as it meant he would have another opportunity to talk to Jane. As Mrs. Bennet approached, Mr. Bingley told her how much he had enjoyed Reverend Fischer's sermon. She readily agreed that it was one of the best she had heard and began explaining the history of his service to their parish. As their other sisters began to converse with the Lucases, Darcy took the opportunity to say good morning to Jane and then Elizabeth. Darcy then looked directly at Elizabeth and asked if she had enjoyed the service.

With a slight smile upon her lips, she replied, “Yes, indeed I did, sir. I found it very enlightening.”

“I am glad to hear it.” He then impulsively added, “I did not see you come in though.”

Smiling all the more sweetly, she said, “You did not? Are you certain?”

Looking at her intently, he replied, “Yes, I am quite sure.”

“Oh, that is odd.” By way of clarification, she raised one eyebrow and finally added, “There is a side door by the front of the church.”

He continued to stare at her, hoping to gain further intelligence. She simply smiled back, unwilling to say more. They were clearly at a standstill. Neither was willing to ask what the other was trying to say or not say, and neither would look away. Despite his lack of progress at unraveling this mystery, Darcy felt it a pleasant sensation. He wondered why she would have moved if she were, in fact, sitting behind him, and wondered, all the more, why she would now be reluctant to reveal it. His pessimistic side worried that it was an attempt to avoid him at all costs, but her present playful demeanor seemed to suggest otherwise. No, this was clearly a game of sorts, and he was thrilled that she was willing to let him play.

The stalemate, however, ended too quickly as Mrs. Bennet's loud voice was heard inviting Mr. Bingley to dinner and then nervously adding, “Mr. Darcy, you are also welcome.”

Darcy slowly tore his eyes from Elizabeth. “Thank you, madam, I would be honored.”

***

As Darcy entered the library, he saw that Bingley, who was also already dressed for dinner, was deep in thought while drafting a letter. “Charles, you look busy; do not let me disturb you. Call me whenever you are ready to leave. I am at your service.”

Tearing himself from the page he had just written, Bingley replied absentmindedly, “Um, yes… Thank you.” Then looking up he said, “Actually, Darcy, perhaps I could impose upon you for some advice. I should discuss this with you in any event, as it concerns you.”

“By all means, what can I do?”

“The invitation to the Bennets' tonight has made me realize that I will soon need to return the courtesy. Obviously, I will need someone to act as a hostess for me. I have been putting off dealing with Caroline or Louisa until I had settled matters with Miss Bennet, but I now think that was a mistake. Whenever I visit with Miss Bennet, I feel that she is on the verge of forgiving me for leaving last fall. I think she hesitates, however, because she cannot forget my sisters' objections to the match. The only way for her to overcome her reservations is for my sisters to return and show her that they will accept her into my family. I have been attempting to draft a letter to Caroline to invite her here, but I am having trouble wording it. I have tried to explain how I feel about Miss Bennet, and everything that has happened since I returned from Scarborough, but it is already four pages long, both sides, and a hopeless muddle. I think I should start over, but I simply do not know where to begin.”

“Charles, I am not sure what help I can be. They are your sisters. You should tell them how you feel and let them know what you want. If I may be frank, I think, at times, they take advantage of your good nature by tending not to accede to your wishes. It is important to maintain a cordial relationship with them, but you should also be clear about what you expect of them in regard to Miss Bennet.”

“I suppose you are right,” Bingley conceded. “I have always avoided conflict with them because it is easier to keep the peace than engage in a battle of wills. But their reception of Miss Bennet and her family is too important to leave up to chance. I think I will start the letter over and be more direct.”

“Charles, just do what you think is right. If it is only legible, it will be a vast improvement over your typical correspondence.”

“Yes, very well,” Bingley drawled. “I see that you are in a humor to make sport of me and to be of no further use, so I will drop that subject and move on to a more important one.” After a pause, he sheepishly added, “Once my sisters return, I have decided to ask Miss Bennet to marry me. I am not sure if she will agree, but I do not want to waste any more time.”

Patting Bingley on the back while warmly shaking his hand, Darcy said, “Charles, I think that is wonderful. I wish you every success.”

“Thank you, Darcy. I appreciate the encouragement. That, however, brings to mind another issue that I want to discuss with you. Earlier, you said you would make some decisions about your plans after you attended church. You certainly did enough soul searching during the service to be familiar with your own mind. Have you made a decision?”

“To be honest, no—not completely.”

“You should seriously think about staying on here. But when you decide, be aware of my invitation to Caroline. I know she sometimes makes you ill at ease. More importantly, once she is here, it is my wish to invite the Bennets on a regular basis. I worry that some of their party might also make you uncomfortable.”

“Charles, thank you for being so considerate of my feelings. I am not sure what I want to do, but I appreciate your invitation more than you know. Would you mind if I slept on the decision?”

Smiling broadly, Bingley replied, “Not at all. But I have a suspicion that you are actually looking for your answer tonight at Longbourn and that sleeping on it has nothing to do with it.”

Darcy looked away and then could not help but smile at his friend in return as he said, “It is a good thing that you are so friendly and good-natured. It fools most people into thinking that you are simpleminded. It allows you to observe the world unencumbered. Very little gets by you, though, and most people never recognize it.”

Bingley replied with a small laugh, “If that was a compliment, thank you. But, Darcy, knowing what I know, I would be a fool not to have noticed your improved disposition after church today and connected it to Miss Elizabeth. I have not seen you in such a good mood in months. Will you tell me what has happened to cause such a transformation?”

“Actually, absolutely nothing has happened. That is why I want to see how things go tonight. I suppose I am in an optimistic mood because it seemed she was not so uncomfortable in my presence this morning. In saying it out loud, I realize how pathetic that sounds, but that meager morsel has allowed me to nurture the unrealistic hope that I might be able to befriend her. If I do, perhaps in time she can forgive me.”

“Darcy, I think that is wonderful. My only desire is to see you happy. I think the advice you gave me about pursuing Miss Bennet applies equally well in your case. Let us face the evening with high hopes. I will be ready in just a few moments, and I will meet you in the foyer.”

After his friend left, Bingley scribbled the following missive without a single inkblot:

Dear Caroline,

I recently learned that Miss Bennet visited you last winter and that you returned the call without telling me of either event. I have been courting Miss Bennet since my return to Netherfield. I request that you immediately join me here so that you can host Miss Bennet and her family. We can discuss the continuation of your allowance at that time. You should bring Louisa, as I expect both of my sisters to extend every courtesy to my intended fiancée and her family.

Your loving brother,

Charles

Rivals

As the gentlemen rode to Longbourn in Bingley's carriage, each contemplated the evening before him with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Darcy was buoyed by Elizabeth's reception of him after church, but he knew full well that he had misjudged her moods in the past with disastrous results. He knew that he would have to learn how to navigate social occasions if he wanted to win her regard. He was just unsure of his skill in such situations. Whatever his ability, the first step toward obtaining his goal was refraining from imagining every pitfall. He needed to try to act naturally in Elizabeth's presence, without being on guard and without giving offense. He thought it a daunting prospect and searched for a distraction. Speaking more abruptly than he wished, Darcy turned to Bingley and asked, “Did you finish your letter?”

Bingley, who was deep in thought, turned to Darcy with a vacant gaze, obviously trying to comprehend his meaning. “Oh… um, yes, I sent it off by express before we left. I asked Caroline, in a direct fashion, to come to Netherfield to receive Miss Bennet. I told her to bring the Hursts as well.”

“That seems a wise course of action.”

“Yes, but the difficulty will begin once they arrive.”

With a sympathetic smile, Darcy replied, “That may be.”

“I have been trying to decide what I should say to Miss Bennet. Tonight, if I have an opportunity to speak with her alone, I thought I would tell her about my invitation to Caroline and Louisa, and then ask her if she will agree to let them call on her. I am not sure my sisters deserve a second chance, but I think the only way for Miss Bennet to accept my regard is for her to see that my sisters will receive her with the civility she deserves.”

“I think you are right in that regard. But I would not worry. Miss Bennet has a very forgiving temperament. I think if your sisters apply themselves, she will receive them with her usual grace. How will you know, however…? How can you be sure…?”

“That my sisters will behave in her presence? I am not, but I intend to make it crystal clear to them that I expect no less.”

Smiling at his friend's sudden assertiveness, Darcy offered, “If I can be of service to you in any way, please tell me.”

“Thank you. I will keep that in mind. And what of you? What do you hope to accomplish this evening?”

“Charles, you have a plan of action to win Miss Bennet and a concrete goal that you wish to obtain. I am simply appraising the situation. I have no realistic chance of achieving what I desire. At this point, I simply hope to dine without giving offense.”

With a broad grin, Bingley replied, “Do not be so pessimistic, Darcy. With a little effort that sounds like an obtainable goal.”

Darcy simply chuckled and stared out the window as the carriage pulled up to the entrance of Longbourn.

As the gentlemen entered, Mrs. Bennet greeted them with every courtesy. Her usual brash manner, however, was somewhat in retreat. She had invited Mr. Bingley to dinner on the spur of the moment, after he had been so pleasant to her at church. She included Mr. Darcy in the invitation when she realized that neglecting him might unintentionally give offense. The fact that the gentlemen were now calling together posed a particularly complex problem for her to solve. She knew that one of them should marry Jane and that it was her job to see that it happened, but she was unsure which man she should instruct Jane to encourage. Mr. Bingley seemed both more willing and more pleasant, but his wealth was nothing in comparison to Mr. Darcy's. She suspected that Mr. Darcy's aunt had discouraged his interest in Jane more than he would admit. As such, she worried that he might never come around. If that were the case, she could not have Jane wasting her attentions on him at the risk of offending Mr. Bingley. But then again, the chance of securing Mr. Darcy, with all of his wealth, could not be ignored. It was a difficult problem indeed.

As they entered the parlor, Mr. Bingley noticed that a seat near Jane was unoccupied. Leaving Darcy to fend for himself, Bingley quickly resumed his place by Jane's side. Darcy smiled good-naturedly at his friend. He could not blame Bingley for deserting him; he would do the same if the situation were reversed. Darcy scanned the room for Elizabeth and attempted to hide his disappointment when he realized she was not present. Darcy set about paying his respects to Mr. Bennet, who received him with an air of indifference. Darcy then acknowledged Sir William, who received the compliment of his attention with far more fanfare. As Darcy moved away to stand slightly apart from Sir William and his wife, Jane called to him.

“Mr. Darcy, how good it is to see you. Would you join us?”

Darcy smiled appreciatively to her. “Thank you, madam. Are you sure I am not intruding?”

Mr. Bingley responded for both of them, “Not at all, Darcy, please sit. We were just discussing Miss Bennet's tastes in literature. Like yourself, she is quite fond of poetry.”

“Are you?” Darcy exclaimed with genuine interest. “And who is your favorite poet?” While Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet spoke at length about their favorite authors and passages, Mr. Bingley remained mostly silent. His animated personality did not often lend itself to the type of quiet reflection that the study of poetry required.

Mrs. Bennet watched the exchange with some alarm. While she hoped both men found Jane attractive, there was no use in having them pursue her simultaneously. One's presence would surely impede the other from proposing, and their rivalry could drag on without a tangible result. Determining that it was time to settle the matter, she followed Darcy as he rose to get Miss Bennet a refreshment.

Darcy had offered to fetch some wine as an excuse to make his exit. While he truly appreciated both Miss Bennet and Bingley's kindness by inviting him to join them, he knew that Bingley was hoping to speak to Miss Bennet alone, and he did not wish to put his own needs before those of his friend. He also hoped his walk would afford him the opportunity once again to scan the room for signs of Elizabeth. As he began to pour some wine, Mrs. Bennet greeted him enthusiastically and exclaimed, “My dear Mr. Darcy, it is so good to see you again. I had been worried that you were not well. I was surprised when you did not call. I think Jane was also concerned.”

Darcy was amazed at Mrs. Bennet's audacity. That she would make such a pointed inquiry, with Bingley sitting beside Miss Bennet, just a few feet away, was incomprehensible. He thought that if he had one obtainable goal for the evening, it should be to put the matter of his interest in Miss Bennet to rest. “Thank you, madam, for your concern. I have been very well. I apologize for not being able to call, but I do hope that Mr. Bingley expressed my regard on his visits.”

Clearly disappointed, Mrs. Bennet replied in a perfunctory tone, “Yes, yes, he has.”

“I am glad. I knew that while I might not be able to visit as often as I would like, Mr. Bingley would surely come whenever possible.”

Unwilling to take the hint, she replied, “Yes, he has been quite attentive, but I hope you will call on your own accord soon. You should not let your business concerns keep you from your friends.”

“I am afraid, madam, that it is more than likely that they will do exactly that.”

“Mr. Darcy, I know that the responsibilities related to as large an estate as yours must be daunting, but you must make an exception in your schedule for us. I think Jane would be quite disappointed if you did not.”

Darcy replied in a tone meant to put the subject to rest, “Madam, I will try my best, but at this point, I am afraid I cannot make such a promise. But if the opportunity does arise, I will be sure to accompany Mr. Bingley on one of his visits. In the meantime, I will have to satisfy myself with news of your family through him. I hope you will forgive me, in advance, if I am unable to be as attentive as I should.” Moving his head toward Bingley and Miss Bennet, he then added, “Will you excuse me? I promised Miss Bennet that I would bring her some wine.”

For a moment, Mrs. Bennet studied Darcy's face while she attempted to comprehend his meaning. She barely knew how to react. He clearly did not intend to court Jane. She was, at least, consoled that Mr. Darcy appeared to be encouraging Mr. Bingley toward Jane in his stead. Nonetheless, she could not imagine why he did not want her for himself. What a vexatious man! If he was too timid to defy his aunt, then he would be of no use to her family. Jane had already wasted enough time on him. Her impatience with him began to take tangible form as her face began to color. If he was destined for his cousin, then there was no need for him to continue to distract Jane. At length, she finally replied in as polite a voice as she could muster, “Really, Mr. Darcy, there is no need. I can take the wine to her myself. I need to inquire of Mr. Bingley's comfort in any regard.”

Darcy stood affixed, somewhat surprised by her brusque manner, but nonetheless happy with the result. Seeing that Mrs. Bennet had thereafter left his friend and Miss Bennet to their own devices, he decided to do the same. As he took a tour of the room, he briefly attempted to converse with Mr. Bennet, curious about Elizabeth's close relationship with a man who, from the outside, seemed so disengaged from his family. He soon realized, however, that Mr. Bennet was a man of even fewer words than he was when in social situations not to his liking.

As he began to walk about the room again, he saw Elizabeth enter with a book in her hand. His relief at seeing her was short-lived, as John Lucas immediately followed her into the room. He suspected that they had been off talking together, and his chest immediately tightened. He had vowed before he came that he would not overwhelm Elizabeth with his attentions. Instead, he would simply make himself available for conversation if she chose it. But watching her converse with Lucas was too much. His desire to go slowly was overtaken by his fear that Lucas would secure her affections before he had the opportunity to show her that he could change. His fear won out, as he purposefully walked over to them. Bowing, Darcy greeted them each in a solemn voice. “Mr. Lucas, Miss Bennet.”

Lucas was the first to speak. “Ah, Mr. Darcy, it is a pleasure to see you again. I hope you are in good health.”

Looking more at Elizabeth than Lucas, Darcy answered in a perfunctory tone, “Yes, thank you. And yourself?”

Lucas good-naturedly replied, “Quite well, thank you. I noticed you in church this morning. My mother had said that you had arrived with Mr. Bingley, but I did not realize that you planned to stay.”

Responding in a tone that implied more of a challenge than he had intended, Darcy said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do intend to stay for a while.” He then looked to Elizabeth for her reaction. She continued to stare toward a window. As an awkward pause ensued, Darcy wondered at his lack of control. Why would he declare that he would be staying, when he had not even determined if such a course of action would suit his purpose? Did he expect Elizabeth to voice her approval? Or was he trying to give Lucas a warning? Either motive seemed unlikely to impress Elizabeth. He resisted the urge to close his eyes in despair, as he realized that Elizabeth's proximity apparently divested him of all reason, and the presence of a competitor for her affections doubled his impulsive behavior. He felt he could barely trust himself to speak in such a situation. Recalling his vow to show Elizabeth his civility, he fought the desire to excuse himself. Instead, he squared his shoulders and said, “Yes, I enjoyed church service this morning a great deal. Your reverend seems an interesting man. Has he been in service here long?”

Darcy had asked the question in the hope that Elizabeth would understand his reference to their encounter at the church door. He would have been surprised to learn, however, that it was the mention of her minister that sparked her interest. Rewarding him with a smile, she replied, “Yes, Mr. Darcy, he has been with our parish for over fifteen years. I always find him an engaging speaker.”

“Yes,” interrupted Lucas, “he is a very good man, but he is constantly threatening to move to the seaside. While I would miss him, I must say that there is something to be said of change for change's sake. I sometimes think that it is hard to listen to the same passages of the Bible, given over and over again by someone who, by human nature, possesses the same perspective.”

Elizabeth eagerly interjected, “But I disagree, Mr. Lucas. The passages of the Bible are, hopefully, quite familiar to all of us. It is a minister's ability to help us to relate them to new situations that makes the sermon worthwhile. It should not matter whether the message or the messenger is familiar, as long as the underlying meaning is new.”

“I suppose,” Mr. Lucas replied, “but take today, for example. Reverend Fischer read a passage from Acts.”

“Corinthians,” corrected Darcy, as Elizabeth nodded her acknowledgment.

Lucas smiled easily at Darcy's correction and Elizabeth's assent. “Yes, I obviously misspoke. He read a passage from Corinthians that I have heard many times before, but I cannot say I felt any new insight was offered.”

To Elizabeth's surprise, it was Darcy who responded. “I think perhaps you are looking at it from the wrong perspective. It is not whether the passage was offered in a different fashion; it is whether you were willing to hear it in a manner you had never allowed before. It is only in such a state that new meaning is evident. The job of the minister is to present the chosen passages freshly, each time, in the eternal hope that they may indeed reach someone in a new way. If the minister can do that, time and time again, then the mark of his ministry is ensured.”

Caught up in his words, Elizabeth impulsively added, “Yes, that is it exactly. It is the promise of new understanding that makes the difference. It is the point of the service.” At her words, Darcy looked intently at her, hoping she understood some of his recently acquired vision. Caught off guard by his intense gaze, she smiled weakly in response.