Mr. Darcy Forever (35 page)

Mia looked at him and wondered how he seemed to know her so well. ‘No,’ she said. ‘It isn't the whole story.’

Shelley didn’t normally eavesdrop. Well, not very often anyway. It just wasn’t polite, was it? Of course, there’d been that time she’d eavesdropped on her parents when she’d been seven-years old. They’d been discussing Christmas presents and it had totally ruined her surprise because she'd then known she was getting the dolls’ house that she'd been begging for since the summer holidays. Perhaps that was the day she’d decided to become an actress because she’d been very good at feigning surprise when opening her present that year.

Then there’d been the time she’d eavesdropped on one of her friends at school. Well, she'd thought she was her friend until she eavesdropped on her and heard what she'd
really
thought of her.

If only she’d lived by the maxim that eavesdroppers never heard anything good about themselves. But, the problem was, Shelley was worried about Mia and thought it was time for her to come home. What on earth could she have to talk to Gabe about, anyway? Mia was
her
friend, not his.

So, she left the house by the back door and slipped through the gap in the fence and walked down Gabe’s darkened back garden, tripping over a football that he’d bought for Bingley.

Gabe usually left the back door open until late and was quite used to her popping in and out. Sure enough, she found that it was still unlocked and she sneaked into the kitchen. A faint aroma of hot chocolate lingered in the air and Shelley grimaced. Things were obviously getting cosy pretty quickly between Mia and Gabe.

It would have been plain common courtesy to shout a quick hello at this point but Shelley didn't. Instead, she hid in the shadows of the kitchen and listened in silence to the conversation that was taking place next door.

‘
You really want to hear all this?’ Mia said.

‘
I’d like to try and understand what's going on but please don't think you have to tell me. It's just that you look so sad and I know that something’s troubling you.

‘
It’s okay,’ Mia said. ‘I like talking to you. You’re like-’

‘
I know – an affable grandfather!’

‘
I wasn't going to say that,’ Mia said. ‘No, you're like a dear friend who I know won't pass judgement.’

There was a pause and then Mia began.

‘
When I got back to London after the holiday in Devon, I started feeling really unwell but I just put that down to depression and tried to carry on but it wasn't long before I realised that I was pregnant,’ she said, her eyes sparkling with tears now. She quickly blinked them away, hoping that Gabe hadn't seen them. ‘I was so shocked. It was the last thing I’d expected to happen. I'd been on the pill, you see, but I’d forgotten to take some. It was stupid but I’d been so busy that I’d simply forgotten.’

She paused, remembering the day she’d found out she was pregnant.

‘
It was a pretty dark time and I really didn’t know what to do.’

‘
Did you ring your sister?’

‘
No. How could I? She was getting married to the father of my baby!’

‘
Good point,’ Gabe said. ‘So what happened?’

‘
I got on with things. I’m quite good at that. It’s usually the only option, isn’t it?’

‘
You had the baby?’

‘
Of course! How could I not?’ Mia said, her eyes large and glittering with tears. ‘But it was the scariest time of my life.’

‘
Wasn’t there anyone to help you?’

Mia shook her head. ‘I thought I could get through it on my own. I didn't feel I had the right to burden anybody with it. It had been my own stupid fault.’

‘
What about Shelley? Why didn't you tell her?’

‘
She was leading her own life. We were speaking on the phone every now and then but I never wanted to worry her. She had her own worries. Anyway, I'd kind of been adopted by a woman in one of flats in my apartment block. She was amazing. She'd had three children of her own and they’d all grown up and left home and I think she was looking around for somebody else she could help. She was like a mother and I really couldn’t have got through it all without her.’

There was a pause.

‘
So, I’m dying to know,’ Gabe said at last. ‘What did you have - a boy or a girl?’

Mia smiled. ‘A boy. He’s two now. I can hardly believe it. He's quite the little man.’

‘
Have you got a picture of him?’

‘
Of course. I never leave home without it.’ Mia opened her little bag and took out her purse. Inside it, there was a photograph of a small boy with cherry-red cheeks and tumble of dark curls just like his mother.

‘
He’s gorgeous,’ Gabe said.

‘
Well, I might be just a little bit biased but I think he's the most wonderful little boy in the world.’

‘
I’m sure he is. What’s his name?’

‘
William,’ she said.

‘
And here was me thinking he'd be called Darcy.’

Mia laughed. ‘Well, I was tempted for a while and I even thought of Fitzwilliam but you can't burden a child like that, can you? So I named him William Fitz instead. But he's usually just called Will.’

‘
He’s wonderful,’ Gabe said, ‘and he's very lucky to have such a devoted mother.’

Mia bit her lip. ‘I wish I could spend more time with him. It breaks my hear
t but he lives with the woman I was telling you about. She takes care of him when I'm working. She works as a curtain-maker from home and I still envy her because she gets to spend all day with my little boy.’

‘
But that won't be forever, will it?’

‘
It feels like forever at the moment and I can't see a way out of it. I have to work and I’ve got this crummy job in a café that I can't seem to get out of to pay for a flat that I hate and I'm not even bothered about going for auditions anymore which was why I took on the crummy job in the first place. It was only meant to be temporary and allow me time to pursue my singing. But, now, William is the only thing that's important to me.’

‘
You’re not auditioning anymore?’

‘
I haven't done that for ages,’ Mia said. ‘And the last audition was so awful that I don't think I’ll ever bother again. I feel sad sometimes because I put so much time and energy into it all and I really thought that's all I wanted to do with my life.’

‘
But life has a way of throwing us all curve balls, doesn't it?’

‘
Yes. I'd never have predicted the position I'd be in but I wouldn't want to change it now I'm in it.’

They sat in silence for a moment.

‘
Did you ever want children?’ Mia asked at last.

Gabe nodded. ‘Andrea and I were about to start a family,’ he said.

‘
Oh,’ Mia said. ‘I’m so sorry.’

He sighed sadly. ‘We both come from big families and really wanted one of our own.’

‘
Of course,’ Mia said. ‘But there’s still time, isn’t there?’

‘
For me?’ he said.

‘
Yes. Men can have children into their eighties, can’t they? It’s not like being a woman.’

He laughed. ‘Yes but I wouldn’t want to be chasing around my kids on a Zimmer frame!’

‘
They are exhausting,’ Mia said. ‘I think it’s best to do it when you’re young.’

‘
It’s a pity you don’t live here in Bath,’ he said. ‘I could baby-sit for you.’

‘
Really? You’d do that?’

‘
I work from home a lot,’ he said. ‘And I’ve lots of experience bringing up my own brothers and sisters. I’m the eldest of five.’

‘
Goodness!’

He smiled. ‘I might look like an old grandfather-’

‘
I didn’t say that!’

‘
But I know how to handle kids.’

They smiled at one another.

‘
Have you never thought to tell Alec?’ Gabe said quietly a moment later. ‘I mean, he’s no longer with your sister, is he?’

Mia shook her head. ‘It’s the last thing I want.’

‘
Don’t you think he has a right to know he’s got a son?’

Mia blushed. ‘You think I’m wrong? You think I should tell him?’

‘
No,’ Gabe said and then he sighed. ‘I don’t know. I guess it’s up to the mother of his child.’

‘
You’re right. It is,’ she said, ‘and I’m in no mood to tell him.’ She looked at Gabe. ‘What that’s expression for?’

‘
I’m just thinking how sad it all is. How this beautiful baby boy exists and how very different it could have all been.’

‘
I often think that too,’ Mia said. ‘I really loved him and I’m sure we could’ve been great together but I guess he wasn’t my Mr Darcy after all.’

Gabe scratched his chin. ‘It seems to me that this Mr Darcy causes a lot of problems for young women.’

Mia frowned. ‘How so?’

‘
Well, he sets an impossibly high standard and real men can’t possibly be expected to live up to that.’

‘
But it’s important to have high standards,’ Mia said.

‘
Yes but you also have to be realistic about things.’

Mia sighed. ‘That’s what Sarah always says and it drives me crazy.’

‘
Brothers and sisters have that written in their job description, I’m afraid.’

‘
You really think I should tell Alec about William?’ Mia said after a moment.

‘
I don’t know. Only you can answer that but – if I had a child – I should like to know.’

Mia sat looking thoughtful and then, quite suddenly, the weight of the whole day seemed to fall upon her and her eyes began to close again.

‘
I should go,’ she said. ‘It’s late and it’s been a very long day.’

Gabe stood up and they walked to the front door together.

‘
Thanks for listening,’ she said as he opened the door for her.

‘
Thanks for talking.’

She smiled. ‘You’re a good listener.’

‘
You’re a good talker.’

Mia laughed.

‘
And if you ever need to talk again-’

‘
I know where you are,’ she finished for him.

He nodded and then leaned forward very slowly, bending down to kiss her cheek. Mia caught her breath. She hadn’t expected that but she couldn’t help thinking that it felt rather nice.

It wasn’t until she reached Shelley’s that she realised she was still wearing his cardigan.

Shelley had left as soon as she’d heard Mia get up, sneaking out of the kitchen and running the length of the back garden before squeezing back through the gap in the fence. She could hardly believe what she’d heard and her eyes smarted with tears at Mia’s revelation.

Why hadn’t Mia confided in her? Weren’t they friends? How had she managed to hide such a secret from her for all these years? And why pour it all out to Gabe whom she’d only just met? It didn’t seem fair.