Mr. Darcy Forever (39 page)

Where was she? Had Shelley not been able to persuade Mia to come? Would Sarah be pacing up and down in the garden forever? She thought about ringing Shelley but she didn’t want to worry her. Shelley had sounded anxious enough when Sarah had called that morning and she really didn’t want to put any more pressure on her. This was between herself and Mia now.

Please let her come, she whispered to herself.
Please!

Then suddenly, she was there, standing in the sunlight like some kind of mirage. Sarah blinked hard, just to make sure she wasn’t imagining it. But there was her little sister. No longer wearing the pretty Regency dress of the night before, she looked surprisingly grown-up in blue jeans and a crisp white shirt. Her hair was as wild and wonderfully tumbly as Sarah remembered it but her face looked drawn, and her eyes had lost some of their youthful sparkle.

‘
I wasn’t sure if you’d come,’ Sarah said at last as they walked forward to meet each other.

‘
Neither was I,’ Mia said.

‘
I’m so glad you did. Shall we sit down?’

Mia nodded and they walked over to the big white bench.

‘
Remember when we were here last time?’ Sarah said.

‘
Yes, I do.’

‘
I was thinking about it before,’ Sarah said. ‘How romantic we both were then.’

‘
That was a long time ago,’ Mia said.

Sarah bit her lip, feeling chided. ‘I know.’

A few moments’ silence passed between them before Sarah dared to speak again. ‘It’s all over between me and Alec,’ she said. ‘It was all over before it really began. I tried to let you know but you were pretty hard to contact. Did you move?’

‘
Yes.’

‘
I thought you must have done. Well, I hope you’ve got a nicer flat these days.’

‘
Not really.’

‘
Oh.’

There was another awkward silence.

‘
Mia,’ Sarah began again, ‘I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you. I still can't believe I let a man come between us.’ She twisted her hands together in her lap, willing herself not to burst into tears. She wanted to be in control of things. ‘I’ve never regretted anything more in my life,’ she continued. ‘I can’t really explain what happened in Devon. It was like some awful kind of madness. But I tried so hard to control it. I thought I could forget about Alec and I really did try but I just couldn’t.’

An elderly couple entered the garden and stopped by an information board next to them. It was like one of those annoying moments when a waiter interrupts a conversation to ask if you’re ready to order. The sisters waited for the couple to move on before Sarah continued.

‘
I feel so ashamed of myself when I think about what I did to you. I know how you felt about Alec and –’

‘
It doesn’t matter,’ Mia said.

‘
What?’

‘
I said it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t want to keep thinking about the past, Mia said. ‘I’ve agonised over it enough and I think it’s time to move on now.’

‘
But I need to apologise to you,’ Sarah said. ‘We can’t ignore what happened.’

‘
I know,’ Mia said. ‘That’s why I came here today. But there’s another reason too.’

‘
What is it?’ Sarah asked gently, observing her sister closely. She was avoiding eye-contact with her and that pained her. She looked as if she was being interrogated by an enemy rather than talking to her sister and Sarah was desperate to reach out and hold her hands in her own.

Mia swallowed hard. ‘I didn’t know how to tell you,’ she said. ‘I still don’t so I’ll show you instead.’ She reached into her handbag and brought out a photo of a young boy and handed it to her sister.

Sarah looked at it for a moment without speaking. The resemblance was startling from the mass of dark curls to the beautiful bright eyes and rosy cheeks. ‘You’ve had a baby?’

Mia nodded.

‘
Oh, my goodness!’ Sarah said, realisation dawning on her. ‘I’m an auntie?’

‘
Yes,’ Mia said. ‘You’ve been an auntie for two years.’

Sarah gasped and a hand flew dramatically to her mouth in the sort of gesture that was far more common to Mia. ‘I can’t believe it.’

‘
It’s true,’ Mia said. ‘Look. I’ve got another photo of him somewhere when he was a baby. You’ll love it.’ She delved into her handbag and brought out a little notebook with a silhouette of Jane Austen on the cover. Opening it up, she took out a tiny photograph of a baby boy.

‘
This was taken just after he was born.’

‘
Oh!’ Sarah said, seeming to have lost the power of speech.

‘
And this one was taken a few days ago,’ Mia said, handing her a third photo. This one was of him on a swing in the park. He was wearing a scarlet hat and his cheeks matched perfectly.

‘
What’s his name?’

‘
William,’ Mia said. ‘William Fitz Castle.’

Sarah nodded and smiled. ‘A lovely variation of Fitzwilliam,’ she said.

‘
I couldn’t burden him with Darcy’s real name.

Sarah sat looking at the three photographs with which she’d been presented. Here was a lovely little boy – her very own nephew – and she had missed seeing him being born. She hadn’t been there when he’d learnt to crawl or taken his first steps or spoken his first words and the knowledge of that tore into her heart as keenly as a knife.

Mia seemed to realise what her sister was thinking. ‘You would have loved him as a baby. He was always laughing. I've been so lucky with him.’

‘
But how do you take care of him? What about your auditions?’

‘
They’ve had to take second place. Third place, really. I have a neighbour who takes care of William when I'm working. She adores him.’

‘
I had no idea,’ Sarah said.

‘
Of course you didn't. How could you?’

Sarah felt a strange fluttery feeling in her stomach.

‘
He’s Alec’s, isn’t he?’

There was a pause before Mia answered. ‘Yes,’ she said.

Sarah nodded. ‘Does he know about William?’

Mia shook her head. ‘I wondered if I should tell him but I didn’t feel it was right. He’s here in Bath, you know?’

‘
What?’

Mia nodded. ‘He said he wanted to see me.’

Sarah frowned. ‘What did he want to see you about?’

Mia sighed.

‘
Tell me, Mia. Now’s not the time to hide anything.’

‘
He wanted us to have another go.’

‘
What?
’

‘
I know. I couldn't believe it either.’

‘
What did he say?’

‘
I-’

‘
Tell me! I need to know.’

Mia sighed. ‘He said he'd made a mistake. He said he wanted to be with me.’

Sarah felt hot tears pricking her eyes.

‘
But I told him what I thought of him and how he obviously hadn't given things with you a proper chance.’

‘
You told him that?’

Mia nodded. ‘He hasn't been very fair on you.’

‘
How can you be so understanding after all I've done to you?’

‘
Because you're my sister,’ Mia whispered.

‘
Oh, God!’ Sarah said at last. There was a pause for a moment when they both sat looking at each other. ‘Everything’s such an awful mess, isn't it?’

‘
Yes,’ Mia said, ‘but I think we might be able to work a way through it, don't you?’

Sarah nodded and her first tears spilled down her cheeks. ‘I hope so! I really hope so.’

‘
Don’t cry! You'll make me cry too!’

‘
You should have told me, Mia!’ Sarah cried. ‘Why didn't you tell me?’

‘
I so wanted to but it just didn’t seem right.’

‘
But this would have changed everything!’

Mia sighed. ‘But I didn’t want it to. Alec chose you – not me!’

‘
But that was wrong of him! He had no right to marry me – not when-’

‘
It doesn’t matter,’ Mia interrupted. ‘Not now.’

‘
But how can you ever forgive me when I’ll never forgive myself for this?’

‘
You must try to forgive yourself, Sarah. We've got to try and put all this behind us.’

‘
But you were so mad at me last night. You didn't want to speak to me at all.’

‘
I know,’ Mia said. ‘I’m sorry. I think I was just so shocked to see you there. But I've been thinking about everything. My head hurts from thinking so much.’

‘
Mine does too!’

‘
And I just-’ she paused.

‘
What?’

‘
I just want my sister back.’

Suddenly, they were embracing and tears were flowing freely down both their faces. They didn't even notice the young family that had entered the garden nor did they see the baffled little girl pointing a stubby finger at them crying on the garden seat.

‘
I can’t believe we let somebody come between us,’ Sarah said when the tears had finally stopped. ‘I’ve missed you so much!’

‘
I’ve missed you too. I’ve felt as though I’ve only been half here.’

‘
Me too!’ Sarah said. ‘That’s
exactly
how I’ve felt.’

‘
There’s been so much I’ve wanted to share with you,’ Mia continued, ‘and I don't just mean the big things like having a baby but really silly little things too like the first time I dressed William and took him out for a walk. It felt like the biggest adventure in the world and I really wanted to share it with you.’

‘
When can I see him?’ Sarah asked.

‘
Whenever you want to.’

‘
Gosh! I want to seem right now. He's not here in Bath with you, is he?’

‘
No. He’s in London.’

‘
We have so much time to make up,’ Sarah said.

‘
I know,’ Mia said. ‘But we can start straight-away, can't we?’

Sarah nodded, her eyes full of tears once again.

‘
I’m leaving London,’ Mia said.

‘
Really?’

Mia nodded. ‘It’s time. I've been miserable there. I thought it was what I wanted but, when William came along, everything changed. I'm not the person that I used to be. I want different things now.’

‘
But where will you go?’

‘
Here.’

‘
Here? Bath?’

‘
Yes! Shelley’s said I can have her spare room. She's been looking for a tenant for ages.’

‘
And she knows about William?’