Mr. Darcy's Proposal (13 page)

Mrs. Gardiner put her arm around her niece. “Oh, you poor child. No wonder you are confused.”

“I understand the physical mmm…mechanics of what will happen. As I was growing up, I was always around the farm after all, but…” Elizabeth hid her face. Mrs. Gardiner gently took her niece’s hand and held it.

“Lizzy, what happens between a man and a woman is a very natural thing. It can be wonderful if you both…how should I say it…participate? The physical joining is not the whole experience. What happens before and after is even more important.”

“Now I am truly confused.”

“Has Mr. Darcy kissed you?” Elizabeth groaned in discomfort. “I will take that as a yes. And how did it feel? Did you like it?”

“It was pleasant. He was very gentle.”

“Is that all that has happened between you?”

“Our engagement is of a very short duration! How much more
could
have happened?” Elizabeth reddened again this time from her chest up to the tips of her ears.

“I know, my dear, but surely, there is something else,” her aunt insisted.

Elizabeth sighed. “When he proposed, I started to interrupt, and he put his finger over my lips to silence me. My lips continued to tingle where he had touched me.” At this, she put her own fingers to her mouth as if reliving the experience. “And later as we were sitting together, his hand came to rest on my leg. Here,” she said, showing her aunt what she meant. “I could feel the heat of it travel all through me.” She quickly added, “He was not trying to take liberties. It was just an accident.”

“I understand. So it was pleasurable?”

“Well, yes, I guess I liked it.”

“That feeling, the heat, it is just the beginning. If he shows you his love in these ways, you will feel that only much more so. You will want to be as physically close to him as possible.”

“Oh, I see.” For the first time during their discussion, Elizabeth smiled.

“Yes, my dear, I think you do,” said Mrs. Gardiner. “Your Mr. Darcy may be quiet, but I believe there is a great depth of feeling behind his calm demeanor. What he cannot say in words, he may communicate in other ways. Just trust him and follow his lead in this. He certainly loves you. I see it when he looks at you across the room or talks about you.”

Before either could say more, they heard a knock on the door and Jane entered. “Lizzy, you must hurry if you want to have a moment with Papa. The carriage will be here soon.”

As Mrs. Gardiner embraced her niece, she whispered in Elizabeth’s ear, “I wish you every happiness, my dear. I think you may be more fortunate in this marriage than you realize right now.”

“Thank you, Aunt,” said Elizabeth and then mostly to herself she added, “I truly hope you are right.”

***

Elizabeth was with her father only a few minutes before Hill came to let her know that the carriages had arrived. Elizabeth said her farewells and promised to attend him again when they returned for the wedding breakfast.

“Be sure to bring your husband with you when you come next time. I want to congratulate him on his fine choice of a wife,” said Mr. Bennet with a twinkle in his eye.

“Of course, I will bring my…my husband,” she said finding the words awkward to say. “But you must promise you will rest until I return.”

Mr. Bennet smiled, slipped down a little in the bed and closed his eyes. After a second, he opened one eye and peeked at her slyly.

“Papa! Do not joke about this. You must rest!” she scolded him, partly teasing and partly serious in her admonition.

“Off you go, child,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I will be just fine.”

***

Reluctantly, Elizabeth left her father and descended the stairs to the front hall where Lydia and Kitty fairly bounced around the room with excitement. Elizabeth worried, not for the first time, about how her sisters might act at the wedding and the breakfast that would follow. When she asked her mother to speak to the girls about their behavior, her request fell on deaf ears.

“You are being very selfish, Lizzy. Lydia and Kitty are feeling left out and want to have some fun, too. It is only natural when everyone else is paying attention to you that they would want their share of society as well,” twittered Mrs. Bennet as she swept out the door and into the awaiting carriage.

Jane and Elizabeth exchanged a look. Once in the carriage, Jane did her best to distract Lydia and Kitty by engaging them in conversation about their new dresses. This gave Elizabeth a few moments to gather her thoughts before they arrived at the church.

Fourteen

“You look beautiful!” Jane exclaimed. The sisters had found a few moments to be alone before the service started.

Elizabeth sighed. “This is not the way I had thought my wedding would be, Jane, but I am determined to make a success of this marriage. I will do my best to be a good wife to Mr. Darcy although I hardly know what he expects.”

“He has many good qualities, Lizzy, and I am certain he will treat you well.”

“Yes, I suppose I should consider myself fortunate,” said Elizabeth looking away unable to meet her sister’s eyes directly.

“I think Mr. Darcy is the fortunate one,” said Jane with such feeling that it brought tears to both their eyes.

Just then, Mr. Gardiner came into the room and announced it was time for him to escort Elizabeth inside for the ceremony. Jane kissed her sister and left to go take her place inside. Mr. Gardiner offered his arm and guided Elizabeth into the church.

Going up the aisle, she saw the faces of her sisters, her mother, Aunt Gardiner, and the Phillips on one side of the church with Georgiana, Miss Bingley, and the Hursts on the other. When Caroline Bingley looked arrows through her, Elizabeth merely smiled back as sweetly as she could.

From the time she entered the sanctuary, Mr. Darcy watched her with such open admiration that it had made her feel uneasy. With great effort, she forced herself to smile back at the man who in just a few minutes would be her husband. Elizabeth barely heard the words at the beginning of the ceremony. Although she tried to pay attention, her mind was too consumed with thoughts of her father and all the dramatic changes in her life.

How different her life was from just a few weeks ago. When it came time to repeat the wedding vows, she tried to focus on the words as she spoke them and determined that no matter how little she had desired this marriage, she would take the promises she was making this day very seriously indeed. When Darcy put the ring on her finger, she noticed his hand shaking slightly. Without thinking, she squeezed his other hand. He answered with a look that made her heart beat faster.

Suddenly, it was over and everyone was congratulating them. At that moment, Elizabeth was very glad they had decided to have a small wedding. It was difficult enough to maintain a happy countenance with family and close friends. With a larger circle of people, it would have been impossible.

Fifteen

The wedding breakfast at Longbourn was also a small affair. Mrs. Bennet basked in the glory of all the attention and compliments she received for her efforts at planning the meal. Elizabeth had to give her mother credit for at least attempting to display modesty and humility at all the praise she received, but it did not last very long.

All through the rest of the morning, Elizabeth smiled and talked to everyone. Looking back on that day later, she could not remember much more than the toasts to their health and happiness. Pretending to look happy proved to be very taxing. Soon her face began to hurt from the effort. Several times she caught Darcy watching her intently and she wondered what he could be thinking. Why did she find his gaze so disconcerting?

While the party continued to linger over coffee, Darcy and Elizabeth slipped away to visit Mr. Bennet. Once alone in the hallway, Darcy pulled her to him and kissed her. Once he released her, she laid her head on his chest in hopes of avoiding more kisses. She could hear his heart beating loudly. Wondering what he would want her to do next, she tentatively put her arms around him. Darcy exhaled heavily and held her even more closely, resting his cheek on top of her head. Inwardly, she was quite shocked to find herself standing there in the arms of a man she hardly knew, but she counseled herself to remain calm. This would certainly be just the first of many demands her husband would place upon her.

So far she had been successful in keeping thoughts of the wedding night from her mind, but as she stood there, she could no longer deny that she was terrified. In spite of her best efforts at bravado, she began to tremble. Darcy looked into her eyes with obvious concern.

“Are you feeling unwell?” he asked.

“I am very well, thank you. Perhaps a little tired from all of the excitement of the wedding preparations,” she replied hoping that this explanation would suffice. “I think we should go up now.”

“The last time we were on this stairway you would not let me hold your hand. Will you give it to me now?” he asked in a teasing manner, holding out his own to her.

“Of course, sir,” she said, laying her hand in his. As he looked deeply into her eyes, the stairway seemed to tilt beneath her feet, and she had to reach out to gasp the banister to steady herself. Elizabeth’s mind went blank for a moment. Finally, she recovered enough to move without stumbling, and they proceeded to her father’s room.

When they entered Mr. Bennet’s room, Darcy still had her hand in his. “You are holding my little girl’s hand, Mr. Darcy. I assume that means you two are married now,” said Mr. Bennet observing them with sharp, discerning eyes.

“You know we are, Papa,” Elizabeth responded. “You should not tease like that. Mr. Darcy is not accustomed to your little jokes.”

“Mr. Darcy, I am entrusting my precious Lizzy to you. You best take great care of her.”

Darcy took Mr. Bennet’s hand. “You may depend upon it, sir.”

Mr. Bennet continued to hold Darcy’s hand and with his other reached out for his daughter. Taking Elizabeth’s hand, he joined hers and Darcy’s together in a manner similar to what the minister had done in the church. “It is up to the two of you to care for each other now. I do not believe I will live to see my grandchildren although it is my fondest wish to hold a child of yours in my arms.”

Elizabeth began to protest but her father silenced her.

“No, you must allow me to say this, my dear. I am glad that I lived long enough to see you wed.”

“Papa, do not…” she interrupted again.

“Let me finish, Lizzy. Please, I may not have another opportunity to share what little wisdom I have gained over nearly twenty-five years of marriage.”

Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Your mother means well, and I must say that I was quite taken with her charms when we were first wed, but that is not enough to make a good marriage as you know. Ultimately, our temperaments were not well suited. Still, if I had not married Mrs. Bennet, I would not have had the pleasure of knowing you, my dear Lizzy. You have always been my greatest joy.”

“Papa, please do not tire yourself.”

Mr. Bennet held up a hand yet again to silence her. “I believe that, unlike your mother and me, you two may do very well together. Your strengths and weaknesses compliment each other.”

He turned to Darcy who seemed to be listening intently. “Thank you for indulging an old man, Mr. Darcy. I give you both my warmest blessings as you begin your life together.” With that, he leaned back farther into his pillows and closed his eyes. “Now you have quite worn me out. I think it is time for you to go and let me rest,” he said.

Elizabeth was certain he did not want them to see how emotional he had become. Tears welled up in Elizabeth’s eyes, but she managed to keep herself from breaking down. Putting her arms around her father, she whispered, “I love you, Papa, with all my heart.”

Although reluctant to leave, she kissed her father’s forehead gently and promised to return the next day to read to him. Darcy shook Mr. Bennet’s hand and then led Elizabeth out into the hall. Once the door was closed, Elizabeth shocked herself by putting her arms around him. Burying her face in his chest, she let out the tears she had been holding back all day. Darcy eased her away from the door so that Mr. Bennet would not hear. Without comment, he simply held her and let her cry. From time to time, she heard him whisper words of comfort and felt him kiss the top of her head. They stayed like that for some time until she recovered herself with a little help from another of Darcy’s handkerchiefs.

Patting her eyes, she said, “I have been wondering if you married me to ensure that all the handkerchiefs you have loaned me are returned.”

Darcy tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair back off her face. “You have found me out,” he said quietly. “I have been running short and have had no time to order more.” The corner of her mouth turned up just a tiny bit in response and he added, “Do you think anyone would notice if we disappeared instead of returning?”

Elizabeth sighed and tried to smooth some imaginary wrinkles from her gown. “I have had enough of crowds today, too, but I suppose we must go back,” she replied, trying to smile.