Mr. Darcy's Proposal (12 page)

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at him.

“Yes, I took that suggestion and some of your others to heart. Thank you for noticing.”

“Georgiana seemed a little uneasy when I was teasing you. Does no one else torment you the way I do?” she asked.

“That is the one fear I have in bringing the two of you together. She is very quick to learn, and I believe it will not be long until she follows your lead and begins to tease me as well.”

The rest of the way back, they talked about his plans to leave on the next day for London to obtain the special license. He expected to return in a day or two, and the wedding would be held as soon as possible after that. As it would be a small, private affair, it would not be too difficult to arrange quickly. Darcy reiterated his plan to call on the Gardiners to apprise them of Mr. Bennet’s condition and invite them to return with him for the wedding.

Darcy told her he had already obtained Bingley’s permission for them to move into Netherfield after the wedding, as Longbourn would be very crowded. It would also give them a little more privacy, as Netherfield was quite a large house, and they could have an entire wing to themselves.

Elizabeth found it nearly impossible to think about the fact that she would be married in just a few days time and would be moving out of the home she had grown up in—the only home she had ever known. It was even stranger to think of herself as ‘Mrs. Darcy’ and all that title entailed. She resolved to take things one step at a time and not to let her mind jump ahead too far.

As they drove along, Darcy continued talking about plans for after the wedding. Listening to him, Elizabeth began to grow uncomfortable. Clearly, Darcy was a man who was accustomed to making decisions for everyone around him. He had great responsibilities but also great freedom to arrange his life and the lives of those around him in any way he chose.

As he continued telling her his plans, Elizabeth became more and more uneasy. She began to wonder why he did not think to ask about her wishes. Then she remembered that when they were in Kent, Colonel Fitzwilliam had once said he was entirely at Darcy’s disposal. At the time she had replied that she wondered Darcy did not marry so as to secure a lasting convenience of that kind. How ironic! Now here she was—at his disposal—and he was arranging things as he thought they should be. As she continued to ponder the implications, she must have ceased listening to him, as she was brought back to the present when she heard him asking, “Elizabeth, are you well?”

“I am sorry. My mind was occupied with thinking about my father,” she told him unable to face telling him the truth about her concerns.

“No, I am the one who is sorry. You have much more serious matters on your mind at the moment. We can discuss our plans for after the wedding later.”

There will be the rest of my life to talk to this man, she thought. And what would they speak of over the dinner table? During the long winter evenings? She knew he loved to read, so possibly they would talk about books. As he had a more formal education, perhaps their discussions would expand her own haphazard one. Eventually she supposed they would talk about their children. After that thought, she tried to focus on the beautiful spring scenery instead of examining her future life as Mrs. Darcy.

The rest of their journey back to Longbourn passed quickly with only a few words spoken between them. Darcy did not seem to notice her unease nor mind the silence. As she thought about it, she realized that he was certainly more comfortable with silence than she. Since his return to Hertfordshire, he had talked more to her than he had in all of their previous meetings put together. Contemplating the complexity of this man, she thought of how little she knew him.

Was this how it happened to everyone? How well did people generally know each other before they married? As she considered it, she wondered how well any married couple—even those married for many years—really knew each other. Her parents certainly were not great examples of marital harmony. But of course there were exceptions such as her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. They seemed to be quite in tune with each other. Could she possibly hope that her relationship with Darcy would grow to be as harmonious as theirs? She may not have wanted this marriage, but now it was up to her to try and make the best of it. Elizabeth knew she should speak to him about taking her wishes into consideration before he made decisions that would affect her, but she was reluctant to bring it up. Perhaps there would be another opportunity later.

***

Just before Longbourn was in sight, Darcy stopped the carriage and turned to her. “I was hoping you would allow me to kiss you now,” he asked somewhat formally.

In some ways, Elizabeth was not surprised by his request. In fact, she had been expecting it. Looking into his eyes, she saw a hopefulness she could not deny and so gave permission for the kiss. Her heart was beating quickly and her hands shook a little in anticipation. Not having been kissed before by a fiancé, or any man for that matter, she was unsure what to expect.

Darcy gently lifted her chin. Then he leaned closer and briefly touched his lips to hers. Although she had nothing to compare it with, the kiss seemed very sweet indeed, and she found herself quite breathless as he pulled back. Risking a quick glance at his face, she found he was still watching her intently, his eyes dark. She blushed and looked away.

“Thank you,” he said quietly and took up the reins again. As soon as she sensed he had turned to face forward to drive the carriage, she risked another look. His face seemed relaxed and happy. Unsure if she was trying to please him, or perhaps just please herself, she placed her hand on his arm. When Darcy saw what she had done, one corner of his mouth turned up again revealing a dimple in his cheek. She spent the rest of the journey contemplating how handsome he looked when he smiled.

Thirteen

Elizabeth arose early on the day of her wedding in order to have some time with her father. She knew he would be feeling sad not to be with her for such an important event. Together they reminisced about her childhood and all the trouble she had created with her curiosity and high-spirited ways. Of all the girls, she was the one who loved to run with the boys and climb trees—things a proper young lady should never do. By contrast, Jane had always been a model of deportment and modesty just as she was now. Elizabeth took comfort that her father seemed slightly stronger today and was able to sit up long enough to take some nourishment.

“Are you certain about this wedding, Lizzy?” asked her father. “It is not too late to change your mind.”

“Papa, this is what I must do—for all of us. Mr. Darcy has been very generous in his promises. I believe he will keep his word and I must keep mine.”

“It grieves me to be such a burden to all of you. If I had been better prepared, this would not have happened,” he said regretfully. “I want you to know that I would never have given my blessing if I did not believe he is truly a good man.”

Elizabeth kissed her father’s cheek tenderly. “Please do not worry about me,” she said. “Now I must be off. It would not do for the bride to appear in her dressing gown, would it?”

“You will look beautiful no matter what you wear, my dear.”

“Just before I leave for the church, I will return so you can give your final approval.” On her way back to her room, she hoped that she had sounded confident when she told her father not to worry. Inside, she was not feeling nearly as certain about her choice.

***

The Gardiners had returned with Darcy to Longbourn for the wedding although they could not stay more than a few days. While Elizabeth did not mind having a small celebration, she was very glad for her aunt and uncle to be in attendance. Elizabeth wondered what Charlotte would think when she received the note informing her about their marriage. Of course, Charlotte had been the one who had suspected some partiality on the part of Mr. Darcy toward her although at the time, Elizabeth had not given much credit to the idea.

Darcy had written to his aunt, Lady Catherine, but waited until the day before the wedding to send it via regular post. Anticipating she would not be pleased, he did not want her to have time to send her disapprovals or worse yet, come in person to interrupt the proceedings. Elizabeth was concerned about causing a rift in his family, but Darcy seemed optimistic that given a little time his aunt would come around to accepting his decision. He assured Elizabeth that he would not tolerate any one, including Lady Catherine, treating her with any less deference than was her due as his wife.

Jane had almost finished putting up Elizabeth’s hair when Mrs. Gardiner arrived to assist. Together they carefully wove yellow satin ribbons into Elizabeth’s upswept curls. Next they helped her into her new dress. Miraculously, Mrs. Bennet had cajoled one of the local seamstresses into making a new gown for Elizabeth in only two days. It was white with tiny yellow stripes woven into the fabric. The dress also had delicate yellow flowers decorating the neckline, sleeves, and hem.

When Jane left to go help her other sisters, Mrs. Gardiner stayed. “Lizzy, why is your mother not here helping you prepare for the wedding?”

“She is busy checking last minute details for the wedding breakfast. I believe she is hoping the event will go so well that she will make a favorable impression on Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley and his family. You know how she is. Once she had helped choose the dress, she seemed to lose interest in me.”

“Your mother should think more about you and less about herself on a day such as this,” Mrs. Gardiner replied.

Elizabeth smiled and hugged her aunt. “I do not mind. I would rather have you and Jane helping me. Mama would just make me nervous with her endless talking and flitting about.” To change the topic, she asked for her aunt’s impressions of her fiancé.

“Mr. Darcy had your letter delivered to us along with a request to call the next morning. I do not think I have ever been so surprised in all my life as I was to learn you and Mr. Darcy were engaged and that the wedding would take place so soon,” said her aunt. “Everything you had told us about him before had made him sound so disagreeable, but your letter gave quite a different view.”

“Yes, I have learned more about him,” answered Elizabeth.

“We were shocked to discover that Mr. Darcy had been wronged by Mr. Wickham rather than the other way around so we were prepared to give him a chance. Then when we met the gentleman himself, we were most pleasantly surprised to find him so amiable.”

“And now after spending more time with him,” asked Elizabeth curiously, “what is your opinion?”

“I must say that your uncle and I have been most favorably impressed. Rather than being silent and taciturn, as you had described him before, he seemed quite at ease with us on the journey from London.”

“I do not understand him very well at all. He is still something of a mystery to me. Sometimes he is so silent that I cannot imagine what he is thinking.”

“Oh, Lizzy, dear,” said her aunt, “that is true even for couples who have been married a long time. Perhaps you are expecting too much. Has it occurred to you that sometimes when he is quiet, he might be thinking about you or wondering what is on your mind?”

“I had not considered that,” said Elizabeth thoughtfully. “You grew up near Pemberley. Tell me, what is it like?”

“I was born in Lambton, which is only a few miles away. Pemberley is one of the greatest estates in all of England. I think you will be surprised when you see your new home.”

“And what do people who live near Pemberley say of the Darcy family?”

“I do not know them personally, of course, but your fiancé’s father had a reputation for being a concerned and generous landlord. I have heard nothing from my friends in the area to indicate
your
Mr. Darcy is any different.”

“I hope you are right,” said Elizabeth.

“I believe you are very fortunate indeed to have won his affections,” said Mrs. Gardiner.

“I hardly know how it happened. I did not seek to impress him,” said Elizabeth. “I cannot imagine how he came to love me.”

“My dear Lizzy, it is so very easy to see how any young man would love you. You are not just beautiful, you are also intelligent, clever and level-headed,” said her aunt touching Elizabeth’s face affectionately. “I think Mr. Darcy is showing very good sense falling in love with you instead of some empty-headed young lady of the Ton who has superficial accomplishments but no substance.”

Elizabeth moved over to the window while her aunt continued to fuss over her dress.

“Lizzy, your mother may have already spoken to you about this, about the relations between a husband and wife. I know this is not an easy subject, but if you wish to talk or ask questions, I will do my best.”

Mrs. Gardiner looked calm enough, but Elizabeth was certain it must have been difficult for her aunt to bring this up. She trusted her Aunt Gardiner in a way she had never been able to trust her mother, and she did have questions.

“Well, it is just that what she said was confusing and made no sense.”

“Yes, that is what I feared. And what did she say?”

“Aunt Gardiner, this is so difficult…” Elizabeth knew she must be completely red, but took a deep breath and continued. “She said I must lie still, let him push up my nightdress, and take his pleasure, and it would be over soon.”