Mr. Darcy's Proposal (36 page)

Forty Seven

After a surprisingly pleasant evening, Elizabeth and Georgiana excused themselves while Darcy and his cousin stayed in the drawing room sipping brandy and talking well into the night. It was a time to discuss what they were reading and often to argue about the politics both of their country and their rather complicated family. Just when Darcy was beginning to relax from the potency of the brandy and the familiarity of being in his cousin’s company again, Fitzwilliam began to ask some uncomfortable questions.

“So how are you finding married life, my dear cousin?” he asked, looking at Darcy over the rim of his brandy glass.

Darcy frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It is a simple enough question, old man. I mean how are you enjoying the company of your beautiful, charming wife?”

“My wife?”

“Yes, Elizabeth, Mrs. Darcy—your wife. You do remember her—about this tall,” said Fitzwilliam holding his hand out to indicate her height, “dark hair, sparkling eyes…”

“I find your question very impertinent,” Darcy responded, wishing he could find a way to change the subject. At one time, he could easily have gone on forever about Elizabeth’s beauty and charms, but after recent events, it was not a subject he wished to discuss.

“Is there something you are not telling me, Cousin? Does Elizabeth not find Pemberley to her liking?” He tapped his finger on his cheek. “Hmm…but, of course, no one could find fault with Pemberley so what could it be?”

“I am not sure what you mean, but this is really none of your concern,” snapped Darcy. He stood up and walked to the fireplace setting his glass on the mantle so he could stir the fire.

“I seem to have stepped into some quicksand here. Come, come, tell your old confessor what is troubling you.”

Darcy turned and shot his cousin a withering glance. “Really, Richard, you go too far,” said Darcy hoping to end this line of questioning, but his cousin would not let it drop.

“I well remember how reluctant you were last spring to tell me how you felt about her, but once you opened up, I could not stop you from extolling her virtues. Surely, you are not disillusioned with marriage after so short a time.”

“No, that is not it at all.” Fitzwilliam waited, saying nothing more. “It is just I am finding women much more difficult to understand than I had imagined.” Darcy returned to his chair and sat with a sigh.

“Women—ah, that is a subject I have some experience with, but still I cannot say I am the wiser for it. I have always found them to be a great mystery—but what a delightful mystery! And one I would not mind spending more time investigating.”

“You are not thinking of marrying, are you? Have you met someone you have not told me about?” asked Darcy trying to put his cousin off the scent.

“No, I have almost given up hope of ever finding the right woman for me. She must be such a combination of beauty, charm, and capital that I fear I shall be looking for a very long time.”

“Oh, come now. There are any number of acceptable young women who would love to join your old family name to their fortunes. If you truly wanted to marry, no doubt there would be countless opportunities,” said Darcy.

“Even for a second son with no title and no fortune?” said Fitzwilliam suddenly serious.

“Your charming personality makes up for any other shortcomings you may have,” Darcy teased him back, finally feeling somewhat cheered by his cousin’s company and the change of topic.

“You flatter me too much. Since meeting your Elizabeth, the bar has been set far too high for most women to measure up. I have no hope of ever finding someone as intelligent, beautiful, and charming as your wife,” said Fitzwilliam.

“Yes, she is all that,” said Darcy. He thought about how ironic this all was. There was no way he could tell his cousin how badly things had been going. How could he say out loud the fears that plagued him? His heart ached to think that he was even farther from winning her love than he had been a few months ago.

Darcy tried to refocus on Fitzwilliam who continued to ramble on. “…so perhaps when you two are in London next year, you will make some new acquaintances, and Elizabeth will be able to introduce me to a suitable young lady. I never thought I would say this, but I fear I am finally tiring of life as a bachelor. You have inspired me, Cousin.”

“Perhaps you should inform Elizabeth you expect her to play matchmaker for you,” said Darcy. He raised an eyebrow at his cousin.

“I may just do that.”

“I suspect she will probably be very good at it. She seems to excel at almost everything she sets her mind to. I am sure you noticed the difference in Georgiana.”

“I did indeed. Sweet, shy Georgiana agreed to play for us this evening without any threats of bodily harm—a minor miracle!” said Fitzwilliam with a laugh. “She also joined in the conversation more easily. I did not have to ask nearly as many questions in order to engage her.”

“My little sister is growing into a fine young lady. The change in her is nothing short of miraculous,” Darcy added.

“So you say this is all Elizabeth’s doing?”

“Of course. You do not think I could have inspired such a marked difference in so short a time.”

“And what other miracles has your amazing wife wrought?” asked Fitzwilliam.

“All of the servants worship Elizabeth, and the tenants think she can do no wrong. I could not have asked for a more perfect Mistress for Pemberley.”

“Still, I sense there is something you are not telling me. Are you ready to confess yet or should I pour you more brandy?”

“No! I cannot afford the headache tomorrow morning,” said Darcy raising his palms in surrender.

“Then tell me all! You know you always feel better for it.” Darcy sighed again as he stared into his glass. “So I am guessing by your silence that things have not gone as you had hoped with Elizabeth. I am truly sorry. Is there anything I can do?” asked Fitzwilliam.

“Do? There is nothing anyone can do to fix the mess I have made of things,” said Darcy putting his head in his hands.

“Surely, you just need to give her more time. She has been through so much over the past few months. I believe you said she and her father were very close. She must be feeling his loss exceedingly.”

“I wish it were that simple,” said Darcy with a touch of irony in his voice.

“Love is never simple, but oh, that I could be as fortunate as you to marry for love,” said Fitzwilliam shaking his head.

“Yes, well, it helps when more than one of you is actually
in
love.” Darcy had a difficult time keeping the bitterness from his voice.

“I see. So that is how it is.”

“Yes, that is how it is. My efforts to win her have failed miserably. Even worse, we seem to misunderstand each other at every turn.”

“What has happened?”

“Well, first of all, I gave her a free hand with managing the house, but according to her, I have continued to interfere and have undermined her position with the servants.” Fitzwilliam kept silent, waiting for Darcy to tell the story in his own way and in his own time. “It seems I have inadvertently reversed her orders several times.”

“Surely, that is a small enough problem.”

“She was so upset with me one afternoon that she went out for a long walk and did not return for hours. As you might imagine, I was frantic. I sent out some men to look for her, and that made her even more furious with me.”

“Of course, it is only natural that you should be worried.”

“We have had poachers in the neighborhood, and I imagined the worst—that she had somehow come to harm. So just at the moment when she was already angry with me, I had to tell her that in the future she would need to have an escort when she went out walking. As you may imagine, that did not make her happy.”

“She did not understand your desire to keep her safe?” said Fitzwilliam incredulously.

“I did not tell her about the poachers as I did not want her to worry. I realize now what a mistake that was. She thinks I do not trust her.”

“And she is the kind of person who places a high value on trust,” Fitzwilliam observed.

“Yes, the highest and I have failed miserably in trying to earn it.”

“These do not seem like insurmountable problems. Surely, some time will mend these little misunderstandings. After all, you have only been married a short while,” offered his cousin.

Darcy took a large swallow of brandy and set his glass aside. He tried to smile at Fitzwilliam. “Yes, of course, you are right. I will give it a little more time. Now tell me about that new horse you just acquired,” asked Darcy attempting once again to change the subject to something a little less dangerous. Much to his relief, Fitzwilliam seemed to take the hint that the subject was closed, and he began to tell Darcy all about his latest purchase.

Forty Eight

Although Elizabeth resolved to speak with Darcy to apologize, finding him alone was proving more difficult than she had imagined. Darcy had managed to elude every attempt she made to speak with him alone. In the evenings, he read in the library or parlor with Fitzwilliam until he was ready to retire for the night, and he never went to the dining room unless he knew his cousin or sister would also be there. Elizabeth had tried every excuse she could think of—household matters, difficulties with families on the estate. There were no more invitations for morning walks or rides. Short of an ambush in the hallway, she had run out of ideas. They had both been putting on a pleasant face in front of Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam, but Elizabeth was sure that at least Fitzwilliam knew something was not right between them.

Perhaps an ambush was not such a bad idea. She would beard the lion in his own den—Darcy’s bedchamber. The element of surprise could work in her favor, and perhaps he would hear out her apology this time. Whatever happened, it would be better than the misery of the past week.

That evening after excusing herself to retire, she let Margaret help her get ready for bed and then she dismissed her for the night. She had chosen a dressing gown made of heavily embroidered silk that would cover her with some modesty. After all, her purpose was to talk with him, not to seduce him—although that thought had entered her mind. Unsure how he would react, she decided that ultimately she could not bear it if he rebuffed her.

Elizabeth had been in Darcy’s bedchamber a few times for the purpose of reviewing the condition of the draperies and furnishings to determine with Mrs. Reynolds if any changes would be needed to bring the room up to date. She could never recall being in the room alone with him in all the months she had lived at Pemberley. Furnished in dark woods and rich deep-colored fabrics, it was a large room containing his bed and a small sitting area in front of the fireplace with a little table and two upholstered chairs and a footstool. Near the bed were several small bookshelves filled to overflowing with leather bound volumes.

The drapes that covered two large windows on either side of his bed were still open, and the moon lent just enough light for her to find her way over to the sitting area near the fireplace. As she waited, she became aware of a hint of the spicy scent she had often detected when she was close to him. The first time she had noticed it was when they were dancing at Netherfield. Now she associated that scent with him and much to her surprise she found it quite comforting to be surrounded by it as she waited.

More tired than she had realized, she fell asleep after a few minutes. Sometime later she was awakened by the sound of the door opening. Elizabeth was hidden from view by the high back of the chair and when she heard Darcy come in, she was unsure how to alert him to her presence. Finally, she simply stood up and faced him.

When he saw her, all color drained from his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I have tried to speak with you alone all week, but you have made that impossible. I am sorry to invade your privacy, but you really must do me the courtesy of hearing me out.”

Suddenly, they both heard his valet moving about in the dressing room next door. At any moment, he would enter to help Darcy prepare for bed. Elizabeth walked to the door and opened it just a bit. “Mr. Darcy will not be needing you this evening, Burke. You may go.” Burke looked startled to see the mistress of the house, but in the manner of all good servants, he quickly covered his surprise and disappeared.

“You must have given Burke quite a start appearing like that. This will certainly give him something to wonder about,” Darcy told her quietly.

“Yes, we are very fortunate that he and Margaret are discreet, or else everyone would know our little secret.” She had a difficult time keeping the sarcasm out of her voice.

“I am sorry to disappoint, but I have nothing to say to you,” Darcy told her.

“You do not have to say anything. All I ask is for you to listen.” He nodded his head slightly, which she took as a sign that he was willing to hear what she had to say.

“When you asked me to marry you, I remember telling you that I could not promise my feelings would change, but you seemed willing to take the chance. Knowing you as I do now, I realize how much that must have cost you. You have been more patient with me than I deserved.”