Mr. Darcy's Refuge (22 page)

“He is an honorable man, and too violently in love with you to think of changing his mind.”

Elizabeth sighed. “You are no doubt right, Jane. Being ill always makes me feel that everything is hopeless.”

Jane sat silently, unfolding and folding her letter. “Will you truly choose Mr. Darcy over our father?”

“I would laugh if it did not pain my throat so much. A week ago, I would likely not have done so, but now everything has changed. Our father, by trying to keep me away from Mr. Darcy, has made it impossible for me to remain at home, so Mr. Darcy, who deserves better, wins by default.”

Jane eyed her sister shrewdly. “I think it is more than winning by default. I think you care more than you wish us to believe.”

Elizabeth was in fact tolerably well acquainted with her feelings by this time. She knew how much she longed for Mr. Darcy to ride up on that huge horse of his and rescue her from her tower, wrap her in her cloak and in his arms, and ride away with her to… well, anywhere would do, as long as she was with him.

***

Within a few days, Elizabeth’s health was improved enough that her aunt suggested that she come downstairs while the maid changed the linens and aired out her room. Mr. Bennet made no comment on her presence out of her room, and, with a little encouragement from Mrs. Gardiner, Elizabeth said nothing either, but continued to spend time in the sitting room and dining with the family. It seemed that her father had fallen back into his usual lethargic lack of interest in the affairs of his daughters, but she suspected that the mere mention of Mr. Darcy would produce the return of the late tyrant. So she said nothing and did not suggest leaving the house, but her spirits chafed at her lack of knowledge about her father’s plans.

She had almost resolved that he intended for her to remain in London indefinitely when Mrs. Gardiner, apparently also growing tired of the uncertainty, raised the question directly as they sat down to dinner.

“It depends upon Jane and Lizzy,” Mr. Bennet said. “If they are prepared to undertake to stay silent on the subject Darcy or any engagement, and if Lizzy is ready to give her word that she will not contact him, then we can return to Longbourn.”

Elizabeth kept her face blank. “Am I to lie to my mother, then?”

Her father smiled broadly as if he had just won a bet. “That will not be necessary. Your mother was delighted to hear that I had changed my mind about travelling to Brighton. She and your younger sisters have already left Longbourn and will spend a month by the sea, or perhaps I should say by the militia, since that factor seems to be more important to them. Since
we
will be at Longbourn, you need not worry about telling your mother anything. By the time they return, you will already be gone on your Northern tour. After that – we shall see.”

Elizabeth’s cheeks grew hot as she tried to hold back her rage. “You censure
me
, yet you allow them to go to Brighton with the militia, when you know how improper Lydia’s and Kitty’s behavior will be. With so many soldiers to tempt them and without us to hold them back, they will be even more imprudent than they have been at home!”

Mr. Bennet shook his head soothingly. “They will be silly wherever they are, and at least this way we
shall not have to observe it.”

“We shall not, but the world will see it! Their unguarded behavior already affects our family’s respectability in the world. They will soon be the most determined flirts that ever made themselves and their family look ridiculous! And you have put them in temptation’s way when you know that my mother will do nothing to check their behavior!” She would have gone on, had not Jane’s restraining hand descended upon her arm.

Mr. Bennet raised his eyebrows. “She does nothing to check them at home, and they seem to have survived so far.”

Her fingernails bit into her palms as she clenched her hands into fists. How could he be so careless of Lydia and Kitty, yet so intolerant of her engagement? But it was not a matter of rationality, she knew, so much as an inability to admit he might have been mistaken. No matter how angry she was, she could not afford to give him reason to become more entrenched in his position, so she said nothing more. Her appetite had completely fled, though. Conscious of her aunt’s concerned gaze, she choked down a few bites to keep up appearances, but the food seemed to sit like a brick in her stomach.

After dinner, she told Jane and her aunt that she wished to be alone, which they agreed to, though not without a number of worried glances. Elizabeth took the opportunity to sit down in her room with pen and paper, and spent over an hour painstakingly drafting a letter. It took three attempts before she was satisfied. She put the letter away in a drawer without sealing it.

At breakfast the next day, she calmly but distantly told her father that she was prepared to accept his conditions. He raised his eyebrows in a teasing manner, but she made no response either in word or expression. Finally he announced that they would depart for Longbourn the following day, then finished his coffee and left the room.

***

Mr. Gardiner looked down at the scrap of paper in his hand, then up at the imposing edifice before him. Lifting his cane, he rapped on the door with it.

The door was opened by an elderly butler whose face appeared to be carved from stone. Mr. Gardiner proffered his card. “I wish to speak to Mr. Darcy.”

“One moment.” The butler creaked away, then returned a few minutes later. “Mr. Darcy is not at home.”

Mr. Gardiner had expected this. “Kindly inform Mr. Darcy that I have a letter for him from Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

“Yes, sir.”

Mr. Gardiner swung his cane under his arm. Darcy House reeked of money and good breeding. He wondered if his brother-in-law had been correct in his assessment of Darcy. Lizzy was very young, after all.

Instead of the aged butler, a tall young man hurried toward him, dressed in clothes that would have been elegant if they did not look as if he had been sleeping in them.

“Mr. Darcy, I presume?” Mr. Gardiner held out his hand. “Edward Gardiner, at your service. I believe you know my niece, Elizabeth.”

Darcy looked at him searchingly, but shook his hand without hesitation. “Please come in, Mr. Gardiner. I apologize for keeping you waiting. Will you join me in the sitting room?” He seemed not to know what to do with his hands. No doubt he was accustomed to a servant showing guests in. The butler stood a good six feet behind him, looking discreetly appalled.

“Thank you.” The sitting room confirmed his expectations with expensive furnishings, but at least they were elegant, rather than simply showy.

As soon as they were both seated, Darcy said, “You have word for me from Miss Bennet?”

Mr. Gardiner wondered if Darcy was being deliberately rude or just desperately worried. “I have a letter she wrote to you, but it is not quite what you might expect.”

Darcy stiffened, suddenly looking ten years older. “I see.”

“She wrote it under unusual circumstances. Her father has forbidden her to contact you, but she knows I have some sympathy for her position. She left the letter to you on my desk, unsealed, with a note asking me to read it and determine for myself whether I thought it appropriate to send it to you. She gave as a reason that it seemed cruel to leave you in suspense as to her intentions. While I was reluctant to go against her father’s expressed wish, it seemed a reasonable point.” He removed the letter from his pocket, noting how hungrily Darcy watched his every move. “She clearly went to some effort to make her letter as innocuous as possible in order to give me no grounds to object to it, so you will find it quite stilted, not at all in Lizzy’s usual style.” He leaned forward and held out the letter.

Darcy took it, then held it in his hands for a moment as if fearing what might be inside. When he finally opened it, he scanned quickly through the brief missive. He rubbed his hand over his mouth, then rose abruptly and strode to the window where he read it again, then stood with his head bowed. After a long pause, he said, still looking away, “I must apologize for my rudeness. I had thought this might tell me of an end to my hopes.”

Mr. Gardiner blinked. “You thought she might have changed her mind?”

“I feared it.” Darcy’s voice was low.

“Because of her father’s opposition? I cannot think of anyone less likely to give way under pressure than Lizzy. Do you not know how very stubborn she can be?”

At that, Darcy looked up, the ghost of a smile crossing his face. “It has come to my attention once or twice.”

Mr. Gardiner decided to venture a test. “I don’t suppose you would care to explain to me the meaning of that little sketch at the bottom of the page. The one where she is standing by a river with a large pile of… something.”

“That?” Darcy looked down at the letter, and for a moment looked almost happy. “I think it is her way of saying she is upset about the situation. Once, when I was angered about something, she found me throwing rocks into the river.”

“And that would explain why there are enough rocks by that river to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall, I suppose.”

There it was, that hint of a smile again. “She seems to think she will require quite a few.” He returned from the window and sat down once more, looking calmer than before. “I may need a small mountain of them myself.”

“I am not surprised.”

Darcy appeared to be wrestling with something. “Elizabeth says in the letter that I can trust you implicitly, as she does.”

Mr. Gardiner raised an amused eyebrow. “I know. I did read it, after all.”

“Can you advise me as to what I should do?” The words came out in a rush. “I am not well enough acquainted with Mr. Bennet to know how best to plead my case. Should I write to him and explain myself, or try to meet with him, or should I just stay away? I do not even know what his objection to me is.” He shrugged helplessly.

“I think his objection is less to
you
than to his assumption that you must be similar in character to certain of your relatives. He has an intense dislike for Lord Matlock.”

“He is in good company in that. I would be hard put to name half a dozen people who do
not
have an intense dislike of my uncle.”

Mr. Gardiner chuckled. “I see you have no illusions about him.”

“Have you ever met my uncle, sir?”

“Yes, I have. Many years ago.”

“Then you know how hard it would be to retain any illusions about him. But what have I ever done to make Mr. Bennet think that I am anything like him? Has he so little faith in Elizabeth’s judgment?”

“I doubt it is that reasoned an opinion. But to return to your question, I do not think you would harm your case by writing to him, but I would not expect it to lead to a change of heart on his part. He seems determined to think the worst of you.”

Darcy’s lips formed a thin line. “Then I must learn to be patient. If you ever have the opportunity, please tell Elizabeth that I will find her on December 26, with a special license in my hand.”

“Well, do keep me informed of your plans. My wife and I are very fond of Lizzy, and we would be sorry to miss her wedding day.”