Mr. Hollywood (Celebrity #1) (30 page)

“
I
still want you,
”
I muttered without
hesitation, seeking out his lips again. All sorts of feelings swirled in a mass
inside me, from excitement and lust, to longing, love, and even fear. Right now
everything seemed so uncertain and unstable, though. We needed to talk, but I
didn
’
t want to. I simply wanted to be in
his arms and forget about everything else for a while.

“
I
’
ve missed you so much,
”
he said, one of his hands sliding
lower and palming my breast.

Instantly my body reacted, my nipple straining through
the fabric. Automatically, I arched forward.
“
We
have an appointment,
”
I reminded him, trying to
keep a coherent thought while he was playing with me this way.

“
It
got postponed for an hour. Dr. Wilson needed to see another patient having
difficulties first. It sounded like an emergency.
”

“
Oh.
”
I couldn
’
t think of what else to say as his
other hand moved lower, grabbing my butt and hiking me closer against him.

Slowly, he ground his hips, along with that giant
bulge in his pants, against me.
“
And my discharge papers have been
signed already, so technically, I
’
m not a patient here.
”

“
Oh,
”
I repeated, my vocabulary gone. My
knees were trembling.

Eyes roving over me again, he gave a slight snort.
“
How would you feel about getting
out of your mom
’
s clothes for a while?
”

Giggling, I glanced down, staring at the ensemble.
“
Is it that obvious?
”

Laughing, he nodded.
“
Yes.
They
’
re hideous. Plus, you never wear
tiny floral prints like that.
”

“
Hey
now. This would be high fashion back on the farm,
”
I
said, jokingly.

The smile slid from his face and he pulled away,
moving to sit on the bed.
“
We aren
’
t on the farm anymore.
”

The humor inside me faded away, replaced with reality.
Sighing, I sank into one of the chairs at the table.
“
I know. It would be nice if we
were, though. I miss it a lot. It was so much more relaxed there.
”

“
I
agree.
”
He continued to stare at me and I
could tell he was trying to decide if he should tell me something.

“
Is
something wrong?
”

He shook his head.
“
No,
not really. There are things I want to talk to you about, but I don
’
t know if it
’
ll be better to just wait for the
session.
”

“
You
can talk to me about anything, wherever and whenever you want. You don
’
t need anyone
’
s permission.
”

“
Yeah,
I know that. I just didn
’
t want to upset you.
”

“
An
answer like that doesn
’
t upset me, but it will worry the
crap out of me for the next little while. Just tell me. I can take it.
”

He studied me for a moment before he spoke.
“
I had a big break through in a
hypnosis session.
”
Pausing, he stared at his
hands for a moment, and I waited for him to continue, not wanting to interrupt
his thought process.
“
My mom didn
’
t die in an accidental shooting.
She killed herself after she found out my dad was gay and planning on leaving
her for another man.
”

“
Oh
my gosh!
”
I gasped, my hand covering my
mouth. After a second to process the shock of his words, I moved to the bed,
sitting next to him and placing my hand on his leg. Covering my hand with his
own, he squeezed it gently.
“
Zane, I don
’
t know what to say. Are you okay? I
had no idea.
”

“
No
one did. And when Mom died, I think the secret died with her. Dad must
’
ve changed his mind about hooking
up with his love interest, or maybe the other guy backed out. I don
’
t know. I
’
ve never heard another word about
any of it my entire life.
”

“
Me,
neither. Oh, how terrible that must
’
ve been for him! No wonder he was
always so .
 
.
 
. so .
 
.
 
.
”

“
Drunk?
”
Zane supplied in a choked sounding
voice.

“
I
was going to say depressed. He seemed so down all the time, as if he didn
’
t even want to be alive. On many occasions
I even wondered if he might take his own life.
”

“
I
used to think the same. It
’
s sad really. We lived together all
those years and we barely even interacted. I
’
d
bring him the dinners your mom sent home with me and every once in a while he
’
d say thanks, or mention what a
kind woman Daphne was. The rest of our conversations boiled down to him asking
me to bring him a beer and wondering if I
’
d paid the bills for the month.
”

“
I
don
’
t know how you survived so long in
that kind of environment.
”

“
I
do,
”
he replied, staring at me with a
grateful expression.
“
I had another family who actually
cared enough to take care of me and offer support.
”

“
Your
dad cared. He stayed with you, didn
’
t he? He might not have been the
best dad, but when it came down to it, he stayed with you.
”

“
Physically.
But your family was my real family
—
and you still are as far as I
’
m concerned.
”

“
You
’
re just like him, you know? You
sweep things under the rug and ignore them instead of properly dealing with
them.
”
I hoped my words weren
’
t too harsh.

He nodded, though, not seeming upset at all.
“
It
’
s
crazy, isn
’
t it? I spent my whole childhood
trying to get away from him and that depressing place, only to turn into him
once I got away. Dr. Wilson also thinks my dad
’
s
revelation to my mom may be part of the reason I reacted so violently to waking
up in bed with Andy. He thinks I tapped into something in my sub consciousness,
something that relates being gay to my mom
’
s suicide.
”

Nodding, I considered his words.
“
That makes sense to me. I can
’
t even imagine.
”

“
There
’
s more.
”

“
What?
”
Nerves shot through me.

“
Dr.
Wilson tracked Andy down and invited him to today
’
s
therapy session. Andy agreed to come. If you don
’
t
feel comfortable staying, I understand, but I
’
d
really love your support through all this, if you
’
re
willing.
”

Blindsided, I wasn
’
t
sure what to say. I
’
d never imagined this happening,
nor had I considered the possibility of being in the same room with the man he
’
d attacked. All of this was still
so new to me it was hard to process.

“
Don
’
t worry about it,
”
he added hastily.
“
I should
’
ve had Dr. Wilson call you and tell
you what was really going on.
”

“
No.
I want to be there.
”
I smiled at him, wanting to
smooth things.
“
Honestly, I do. You just caught me
off guard. I thought it was going to be just the two of us.
”

“
Initially
it was, but then it changed. I
’
m sorry, it was inconsiderate of me
to not give you proper time to prepare.
”

“
Quit
worrying about me. How do you feel about all this?
”
To hell with how this made me feel.
He was the important one, and I
’
d do whatever was needed to help
him find his peace and hold onto it, even if it made me uncomfortable.

Grinning, he slipped his arm around me.
“
I
’
m
fine, especially now that you
’
re staying. But if you want to find
a way to distract me for the next,
”
he glanced at his watch,
“
fifty minutes, I
’
d let ya. I
’
ve missed you, baby. So much.
”

Shaking my head, I laughed.
“
You
’
re
terrible, you know that? Trying to seduce me at my place of employment
—
it
’
s
disgraceful.
”

He chuckled, not sounding the least bit repentant.
“
Is it working?
”

“
No.
”
I bit my bottom lip, attempting to
hide my smile.

“
Damn.
Guess I
’
ll need to try harder.
”
Leaning in closer, his eyes
flickered between my mouth and my eyes.

I didn
’
t budge.
“
There
’
s
no way in hell I
’
d have sex with you here. Anyone
could walk in on us.
”

Grinning wider, he nudged the tip of my nose with his.
“
That
’
s
half the fun, didn
’
t you know?
”

“
Maybe
it
’
s fun for you. I
’
d spend the whole time petrified.
There
’
s no way I
’
d be able to relax. I would
constantly be glancing at the door.
”

His lips were so close they almost brushed mine as he
spoke.
“
No you wouldn
’
t. You
’
d spend the whole time screaming
your enjoyment and everyone in this place would know exactly what we
’
re doing.
”

“
Exactly.
Now you see.
”
I just wanted him to kiss me
already, but I refused to lean in the rest of the way to close the deal. If he
wanted me that badly, he was going to have to come get me.

“
Nah,
let them hear you getting your world rocked. I don
’
t mind.
”
His hand dropped lower and pinched
my butt.
“
I don
’
t
mind everyone walking around knowing that I keep you completely satisfied.
”

I laughed, breaking the mood he
’
d created, but he cracked me up.
“
Tell you what. You get us through
this session of yours in one piece and once we leave I
’
ll let you take me wherever you
want. Then you can do whatever your heart desires.
”