Mr. Malcolm's List (18 page)

“However,
after your treatment of Selina, I began to wonder if the list
was
a good
thing, after all.
 
I hated to think a
child of mine had become so pompous and judgmental, thinking himself better
than everyone else, but when I thought on the matter further, I found I didn’t
really believe that of you, Jeremy.
 
I
think rather that your list was in the nature of a defense, a shield, if you
will.
 
So many young women had shown
themselves attracted to you because of your fortune, that you were determined
not to give your love to a woman who might in turn prove unworthy.
 
And I think that also accounted for your
vehemence toward Selina when you thought you had been tricked, after all.”

“Mother,
I know that you think I have treated Selina unfairly, and I realize she is
blameless in this latest affair, but I am still not convinced that she did not
set out to entrap me.”

“Jeremy,
I never knew you to be such a poor judge of character until now.
 
Although they do say ‘love is blind,’ I have
never heard it said it is deaf and dumb, as well,” Lady Kilbourne said, shaking
her head in disbelief.
 
“It is obvious to
the meanest intelligence that Selina does not have a deceitful bone in her
body.
 
I have never met so sincere and
honest a young lady.
 
Why, you have only
to look at her parents to realize it.
 
The entire family is so
worthy
.
 
It is becoming rather unpleasant, to tell you the truth.
 
Mr. Dalton makes me uncomfortably aware of
the frivolity of my life style, although he is much too kind to ever even hint
at such an opinion.
 
Really, if I were
not a loving mother, I would persuade you against marrying into such a family
and allow you to marry some silly, ignorant girl by whom I would not suffer in
comparison.
 
Someone like your
sister-in-law,” Lady Kilbourne said, with a wry smile.

Malcolm did
not return his mother’s smile, but stood in silence for a moment, considering
what she had said.
 
“It is obvious that
everyone else shares your opinion, but I was so worried that I was allowing her
to make a fool of me.
 
She is so
outrageously beautiful, you know.
 
I
wanted to make sure I was allowing my head to rule me, and not my—”

“I grasp
your meaning, Jeremy,” Lady Kilbourne said, with a minatory glance at her son.

“I was
going to say my heart, Mother,” Malcolm said, the first hint of a smile showing
on his face.

“Of
course you were.
 
That is what I thought
as well,” Lady Kilbourne said briskly, quickly changing the subject.
 
“I know that it is difficult to let someone
past the guard you’ve so carefully put up around you, Jeremy, but unless you
do, you’re in danger of losing Selina altogether.
 
Love cannot be planned so carefully, my
dear.
 
It is not guaranteed to fit neatly
into our lives.
 
It will stir things up a
bit.
 
That’s part of its charm.”
 
Lady Kilbourne reached up to smooth her son’s
hair off of his forehead.
 
Then she
cleared her throat before saying, “So, what do you plan to do?”

“I do not
know,” Malcolm said, looking very vulnerable all of a sudden.
 
“Do you have any suggestions?”

“I would
suggest you find Selina immediately and tell her you’ve made a mistake.”

“I do not
think she will speak to me, Mother.
 
She
was very angry.”

“Of
course she was.
 
But if you do not go to
her now I am quite sure she will find some way to leave Hadley Hall, and then
you will never get this sorted out.”

“All
right, Mother, I shall do as you say,” Malcolm said.

“Good.
 
Because I would like to see your father again
some time before Michaelmas,” Lady Kilbourne said, turning to leave the
room.
 
“I do not mind spending short
periods away from him, you know, because it is only then that he realizes how
fond he is of me, but if am gone too long, there is always the danger he’ll
forget me entirely.
 
Hello, Lord
Cassidy.
 
Please do not keep Jeremy too
long, I expect him to perform an errand for me before dinner,” Lady Kilbourne
said, as she passed Cassie on her way out of the room.

Malcolm
sat down at his desk and motioned to a chair in front of him.
 
“If this traffic in and out of my library
keeps up I will have to replace the rug,” he said.

Cassie
would not sit, but stood in front of the desk, staring determinedly down at
Malcolm.
 
“I have come to see if you
intend to do the proper thing toward Selina,” he said.

“I
believe it is her father’s place to do that,” Malcolm said.

“It is
the place of anyone concerned about her welfare, as I am.
 
Because if you do not intend to follow
through and marry Selina, I intend to,” Cassie said.

“That is
very gallant of you, Cassie, but unnecessary.
 
I fully intend to marry Selina, if I can convince her to have me.”

“I would
not blame her for refusing.
 
You have
treated her deplorably.
 
You couldn’t
have been more stupid if you had been a demon.”

“Excuse
me?” Malcolm asked, confused.
 
“I wasn’t
aware that demons had a reputation for stupidity.”

“Do not
try to change the subject.
 
You’ve been
acting like that Greek fellow you were dressed like the other night,
Ademon.
 
You know, here Selina is,
hopelessly in love with you and you’re behaving as if you’re sound asleep.”

“Ah, I
understand.
 
You’re referring to
Endymion
.”

“Whatever.
 
The point is, you have treated the girl
unconscionably, and I do not intend to stand by and see you do so any
longer.
 
We’ve always been friends
Malcolm, but I am afraid I cannot remain your friend if you continue to
mistreat Selina.”

Malcolm
rose from the desk to clap Cassie on the shoulder.
 
“Well said, old friend.
 
I agree that I’ve behaved very badly
indeed.
 
And I intend to do something
about it this instant.”
 
Malcolm left the
room, and Cassie stood there, congratulating himself on the success of his
lecture.
 
He began to wonder if perhaps
he had a future in the House of Lords after all.
 
If he could just make heads or tails of those
Corn Laws, he was sure he could write a speech that would change the country’s
economy.
 
He envisioned himself, standing
before his peers, addressing them like that
Antony
fellow did in Shakespeare’s play.

“Friends,
Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears,” he quoted, pleased at the sound of
it.
 
Then he realized he could not say
Romans, and sat there for the next half hour trying to think of a fitting
substitute.
 
When he could not find a
word that worked as well he gave up the task, not too upset his political
career had come to nothing after all.

Malcolm,
who was unable to locate Selina anywhere else, realized that she must be in her
bedroom.
 
He knew it was not at all
appropriate for him to talk to her there, but as she was already hopelessly
compromised, he figured it no longer mattered whether or not they paid strict
attention to the proprieties.
 
So he
rapped lightly on the door to her bedroom, a little surprised when she told him
to go away even before she knew it was he.

“Selina,”
he said, “I need to speak with you.”

There was
a short pause, and then Selina said without opening the door, “I believe you’ve
said quite enough already.”

“Please,
Selina, I want to apologize,” Malcolm said.

The door
opened and Selina stood in front of him, her arms crossed in front of her.
 
She did not appear to be in a very good
mood.
 
“I am waiting,” she said.

 
“Surely you do not expect me to stand here in
the hall where anyone might happen by,” Malcolm protested, when she made no
move to let him in.

She stood
watching him a moment and then proceeded him into her chamber, leaving the door
open behind her.
 
“I hope if someone
chances upon us you will remember that I preferred you to stay in the
hall.
 
I do not want to be accused once
again of attempting to compromise you,” Selina said.

Malcolm
did not respond, his attention caught by the obvious signs that she had been
packing.
 
There were dresses piled on the
bed and an open trunk on the floor.
 
“What are you doing?” he asked her, staring around him in dismay.

“It is
called packing,” she said.

“But you
cannot leave!”

“Why ever
not?
 
You cannot pretend that you will
miss me.
 
I was sure you would be eager
to see the last of such an unsavory character as myself.”

Malcolm
winced.
 
“Selina, that is why I am
here.
 
I wanted to tell you I was very
wrong to accuse you of trickery.
 
My
mother was behind the events of this afternoon.”

Selina’s
angry expression slipped for a moment, to be replaced by one of surprise.
 
“Your mother locked us in the conservatory?”
she asked.
 
“But why?”

“She was
determined to secure you as a daughter-in-law.
 
She admires you very much.”

“Well, I
am honored that your mother likes me, but I could wish she had not demonstrated
it in so unusual a manner,” Selina said.

“She was
afraid I would make a muddle of it on my own, I suppose, which I have,” Malcolm
said.
 
“That is why I have come to beg
your forgiveness.”

“Yes, I
suppose you have.
 
Vicar’s daughters
abound in Christian forgiveness, do they not?
 
Fine, you are forgiven,” Selina said flatly.

“Why do I
get the impression you are being insincere?” Malcolm asked.

“Forgive
me for not being more effusive, but it is a little difficult to be accused of
participating in some heinous scheme to dupe someone one moment, and then not
an hour later be told that all is well because you’ve found your
mother
was behind it all.
 
Did you proceed to
wash your hands of her, as well?
 
The
Honorable Jeremy Malcolm could not bear to associate with anyone who was less
than perfect, even his own mother.”

“Selina,
you do not understand; I still want to marry you,” Malcolm said.

Selina
could not believe the gall of this man.
 
Did he honestly think she would just fall into his arms because he said
he would marry her?
 
“No, sir, you are
the one who does not understand.
 
I still
do
not
want to marry you.
 
Did you
really believe you could come here and say ‘I’m sorry’ and all the events of
the last few days would be erased?
 
I
realize you are used to getting what you want, but even you must recognize it
is not that easy.”

“But what
about your reputation?
 
It has been
irreparably besmirched.”

“Hang my
reputation!
 
I would rather be considered
a fallen woman—although that is quite an exaggeration of the facts of the
matter—than to be placed in a relationship where I am not trusted.
 
What if we were to marry and one day you
found that your slippers were missing?
 
I
would probably be hauled before a magistrate and accused of theft!”

“I can
assure you that would never happen.
 
I
realize that my behavior of the past few days has been offensive.
 
No one regrets it more than I do,” Malcolm
said, reaching for Selina’s hand.
 
She
quickly pulled away, and he realized that she was far too angry to hear his
apologies.
 
But he could not permit her
to leave Hadley Hall.
 
He had to find
some way to convince her to stay at least a few more days.

“I
understand completely why you feel you cannot accept my proposal, but please
continue to accept my hospitality.
 
Do
not feel compelled to leave.”

Selina
calmed a little at his reasonable tone.
 
“Thank you, sir, for extending the invitation, but I feel it would be
best if I left as soon as possible.”