Mr. Malcolm's List (21 page)

Standing
on the threshold of the drawing room was an elegant gray-haired gentleman.

“Lord
Kilbourne,” Lady Kilbourne said, “this is a most pleasant surprise.”

Lord
Kilbourne approached his wife and raised her hand to his lips.
 
“My dear, I had hoped it would be.”

“Did you
bring Robert and my so-charming daughter-in-law with you?” Lady Kilbourne asked
him.

“No, I
did not,” her husband said.

“You are
the most thoughtful of husbands,” Lady Kilbourne told him.

It was
obvious that Malcolm and Selina could not leave for a walk when Malcolm’s
father had just arrived, so Malcolm gritted his teeth and performed the
introductions.
 

“I am not
by nature superstitious,” Malcolm whispered to Selina once the introductions
had been made, “but I am beginning to wonder if an evil Fate is conspiring
against us.”

“I think
the problem is not those that are conspiring against us, but rather those that
are conspiring for us,” Selina whispered back, and Malcolm laughed.

Selina
was not too disappointed by the events of the afternoon. Of course she would
have preferred some privacy with Malcolm, but as Malcolm had very publicly
announced his intention of proposing to her, there was no doubt in her mind
that their false engagement had become very real.
 
And as Malcolm had also retained her hand in
a very tight grip and showed no signs of leaving her side, she was about as
content as one could be who had not yet heard a formal declaration of her
beloved’s intentions.

Eighteen

It was
not until after dinner that Selina and Malcolm managed to enjoy a little
privacy together.
 
At that time Malcolm
led Selina through the French doors that led to the terrace with nary an
objection from anyone.
 

“You will
observe that I did not suggest we take a walk to the lake, a pond, the
conservatory, or any other location where there might exist a body of water,”
Malcolm told Selina.

Selina
giggled but could manage no other response, as she was suddenly overcome with
shyness.
 
She found she could not even
meet Malcolm’s gaze, but stood silently, her head lowered, her fingers
nervously fiddling with a ribbon on her dress.

“Selina,”
Malcolm said, putting his finger under her chin and raising her head so she was
looking at him.
 
“I would like to offer
an explanation for the deplorable way I treated you when I discovered Julia’s
little plot.”
 
He laughed a little
nervously.
 
“Actually, that is not at all
what I would like to do, particularly when you are standing so close, but that
is what you deserve to hear.”

“I think
I understand, Malcolm,” Selina said, lifting her hand to touch his face.
 
“It must not be easy to trust someone when
you’ve been the victim of so much deceit for so long.”

“That is
part of the reason, but it is not really the entire reason.
 
To tell you the truth, I was relieved to find
an excuse to discredit you, as curious as that seems.
 
There is a certain feeling of…insecurity in
loving someone.
 
When I found myself
falling in love with you I was frightened.
 
I had guarded myself from that sort of vulnerability for so long, that I
was petrified to let someone become so close to me.
 
Then, when I found an excuse not to let you
in, I leapt at it.
 
It was easier for me
to think that you were like all the others than to allow you to disrupt my
life.
 
It was my mother that finally
explained to me that love
is
disruptive.”

“You make
it sound like a disorder of the bowels or a carriage accident,” Selina said.

Malcolm
shook his head.
 
“And my mother accuses
me
of being unromantic.
 
Please remember
that I did not introduce intestinal disorders into the midst of a marriage
proposal.”

“Oh,
there is no need for you to propose.
 
After hearing you introduce me for the tenth time as your intended
bride, I no longer doubted it was true.”

“So that
little strategy of mine worked, did it?”

“Little
strategy?”
 
Selina drew back from
Malcolm, her hands on her hips.
 
“I no
longer wonder you thought me capable of all kinds of treachery, when it is
obvious that you yourself apparently indulged in a number of different
schemes.
 
False betrothals, lies and
subterfuge, tricks with your handkerchief.”

“I must
admit that last one was my favorite.
 
Too
bad I don’t happen to have a wet handkerchief handy now,” Malcolm said, with a
wicked smile, before drawing her into an embrace that proved such trickery was
not really necessary.

“Selina,”
he said a few minutes later, “you are distracting me from my goal.
 
I am supposed to be proposing right now.”

“I told
you it was pointless.
 
The wedding is
already planned.
 
I may as well continue
to…distract you,” Selina suggested, drawing his head back toward hers.

Malcolm
removed her hands from around his neck, holding them firmly away from him.
 
“As tempting a suggestion as that is, I
insist on being allowed to propose.
 
I do
not want it thrown in my face every time we have an argument in the future that
you did not even receive a proper proposal.”

“My dear
Malcolm, I hope you’re not suggesting that this is a
proper
proposal,” Selina
said, having managed to free her hands and insinuate her way back into his
embrace.

“Get away from me, woman,” Malcolm said, a few
kisses later.
 
“This is not at all the
behavior I would have expected from a vicar’s daughter.”
 
He staggered away from Selina, holding his
hand out when she would have come to stand next to him again.
 
“No, you must stay at least three feet
away.
 
I cannot guarantee your safety if
you come any closer.”
 

Selina stopped three feet away from him.
 
“I am listening, Malcolm.
 
I have just realized that this may be my last
opportunity to hear a marriage proposal, proper or not.”

Malcolm found that he could not bear to be that far
away and moved closer, grabbing Selina’s hand.
 
“Selina, you are everything I’ve ever looked for in a woman, everything
I could ever desire in a wife.
 
You
are the ‘chief happiness that
this world affords,’ to misquote Johnson.
 
I would be the happiest of men if you would consent to marry me.”

“Oh, Malcolm, that was beautiful.
 
I am so glad you insisted on it,” Selina
said, carrying his hand to her face.

“Selina, it isn’t over yet.
 
You have to accept.”

“Oh, forgive me.
 
Of course I will marry you.
 
It is
all I ever wanted from the time I first saw you in the library at Mrs.
Harrington’s ball.
 
I suppose I owe you
an explanation for my behavior, as well.”

“That is not necessary—” Malcolm started to
say, before Selina interrupted him, placing her hand over his mouth.

“No, I want to get this all sorted out once and for
all.
 
When I first came to town and Julia
proposed that I take part in her little scheme to humiliate you, I was not at
all fond of the idea, but I truly believed it would all come to naught anyway,
so I agreed.
 
Julia really left me no
other choice, and I was sure such a fastidious gentleman as she described would
have no interest in me anyway.
 
So I
played along, but after actually making your acquaintance, I did try to withdraw
from the game.
 
Julia was very displeased
with me, and tried to convince me that you did deserve such treatment.
 
So I tried another method:
 
I tried to fail one of the qualifications
Julia told me you had on your list.
 
I
claimed not to have any musical talent.”

“Ah.
 
So that
is why you behaved in so confusing a manner the night of the Thistlewaite’s
dinner party,” Malcolm said.

“It did not work, obviously, but you have to
believe I wanted nothing to do with Julia’s scheme.
 
When she insisted again that I take a part in
it after we came to Hadley Hall, I categorically refused.
 
Julia was quite upset by my refusal, to say
the least, and forged ahead with a plan of her own.”

“I had guessed something of the sort, Selina, and
apologize for ever distrusting you.”

Malcolm started to pull her back into his arms, and
then stopped, reaching into his jacket.
 
“Wait, I almost forgot.
 
I wanted
you to see this,” he said, pulling out a piece of paper.

“What is it?” Selina asked, looking at it.
 
“Oh no, don’t tell me this is your infamous
list.”

“No, it is not.
 
It is a new list that I composed two days ago, when I realized what I
really desired in a wife.”

Selina began to read, but was only able to see the
first three items before her eyes filled with tears.
 
She read:

1.
                                                                            
Has hair the
color of autumn leaves, and eyes like emeralds.

2.
                                                                            
Makes me
laugh.

3.
                                                                            
Forgives me for being a misguided
idiot.

They
returned to the drawing room once Selina had composed herself.
 
Malcolm cleared his throat, asked for
everyone’s attention, and announced that Selina had done him the honor of
accepting his hand in marriage.
 
There
were some murmured congratulations, and then everyone returned to their
previous occupations.

“Did
everyone hear me?” Malcolm asked, looking at Selina in some confusion.

“Yes,
dear, we know.
 
You’re engaged.
 
You told us so two days ago,” his mother
said.
 
“Now please sit down.”

“No,
we’re really engaged this time.”

“You were
really engaged two days ago, old boy, you just didn’t realize it,” Henry told
him.
 
“But I would like to take this
opportunity to let everyone know that Mrs. Thistlewaite has consented to
granting me her daughter’s hand, and we will also be getting married,” Henry
said, raising Julia’s hand to his lips.

There was
an excited babble of congratulations when Henry made his announcement, causing
Malcolm and Selina to realize that they were already considered
passé
.
 
Still, they congratulated their friends wholeheartedly, Selina hugging
Julia.

“I am so
happy for you,” she said.

“Thank
you, Selina.
 
I have been thinking that
since Henry and I will most likely be standing up at your wedding, and you and
Malcolm will be standing up for us, that we should all just be married
together.
 
What do you think?” Julia asked.

Selina
was about to reply when she saw her fiancé vigorously shaking his head from
where he stood behind Julia.
 
“I am not
sure that a double wedding would be a good idea,” Selina said.

“Oh,
Selina, do not be such a namby-pamby,” Julia told her.

Nineteen

Of course
Julia got her way, and the wedding was scheduled for an early autumn day some
few months later, with Mr. Dalton to preside over the ceremony.
 
Julia had at first wanted a large society
wedding in
London
,
but Henry was able to convince her otherwise, even when Selina and Malcolm
failed.

Gertie
was invited, and Selina intended to introduce her to a vulgar relation of
Malcolm’s that she had met only recently.
 
Selina was quite pleased when she found out that she was not the only
one who had embarrassing family connections, and she teased Malcolm quite
mercilessly about it, even telling him that she was unsure if the marriage
could proceed in the face of this shocking revelation.

Lady
Kilbourne was present when Selina was teasing Malcolm about his cousin, and she
added her bit as well.
 
“I do not know
why Malcolm pretended to be superior in that regard.
 
One of his uncles was sent away with a keeper
to a remote
Cornwall
property because he was always inebriated.
 
Any attempt to sober him up always failed, and when he appeared at a
dinner party having forgotten that he was—underdressed for the occasion,
if you catch my meaning, we gave up on him altogether.
 
He quite happily drank himself to death,
although Lord Kilbourne did insist that we visit him twice a year before he
died.
 
That was quite unpleasant, I can
assure you.
 
He was unused to feminine
company and was always overly affectionate in his dealings with me.
 
And he insisted on calling me Kitty, no
matter how many times I explained to him that was not my name.”

“You are
making that up,” Malcolm said to his mother.

Lady
Kilbourne looked surprised.
 
“Indeed I am
not.
 
You were three when he died, so of
course you would not remember him.
 
And
he is not the kind of relative one brags about.”
 
Lady Kilbourne turned to address Selina who
was struggling to keep from giggling.
 
“My dear, it is not too late to reconsider.
 
You have yet to meet your future
sister-in-law, you know.”

“I thank
you for your concern, ma’am, but I am not so fastidious as Malcolm.”

“And it
is a good thing, too,” Lady Kilbourne said.
 
“You might not have consented to marry him if you had been.”

Malcolm
looked at his mother reproachfully.
 
“Are
you quite finished tearing my character to shreds in front of my fiancé?
 
Or do you have any of my childish misdeeds
you’d like to bring to her attention?”

“I am
sure you have Selina telling you a thousand times a day how wonderful you
are.
 
It does you no harm to hear
otherwise,” Lady Kilbourne told her son.

“Well,
she’s only told me about nine hundred times today, so if you would give us a
little privacy I’m due to hear more,” Malcolm said to his mother, motioning her
toward the door.

Lady
Kilbourne rose from where she’d been sitting, saying if her company was so
unwelcome she would go in search of Lord Kilbourne.
 
“Because he has yet to tell me even once
today how wonderful I am,” she said, on her way out of the room.

Malcolm
barely waited for her to exit before scooping Selina into his arms and twirling
her around the room.
 
“Jeremy,” Selina
protested breathlessly.
 
“What are you
doing?”

Malcolm
did not answer her, but kissed her instead, until she was even more
breathless.
 
“My mother was right, you
know.
 
If you had any sense at all you
would realize you could do much better than me.
 
I don’t even meet the qualifications on my own list.”

“Do you
mean you have vulgar relations
and
that you have no musical talent?”
Selina asked, wide-eyed.
 
“We must call
off the wedding immediately.”

“I would
not say I have
no
musical talent,” Malcolm said.

“Well,
you may not say so, but I heard you sing at church yesterday,” Selina said.

“Wretch,”
Malcolm said, and hugged her tighter.
 
“Perhaps I should not have mentioned the list after all.”

“No, it
is good that I know what I am getting into before we are irrevocably tied.
 
I am beginning to see the value in these
lists of yours,” Selina said, drawing away from Malcolm and looking thoughtful.

“The
whole thing was a horrid idea,” Malcolm said, trying to pull Selina back into
his arms.

“But I
would really like to know what you think of the Corn Laws,” Selina said, her
expression solemn, but with laughter lurking in her eyes.
 
“I have begun to realize that you are not
serious enough, which augurs an unsteadiness of character.”

“You have
been speaking to Cassie,” Malcolm said.
 
“Has every stupid thing I’ve said or done been announced to the entire
world?”

“Perhaps
I can borrow the list Julia gave you while pretending to be me,” Selina said,
ignoring Malcolm’s remark.
 
“You would
not still happen to have a copy, would you?”

“My dear
girl,” Malcolm said, beginning to look fierce, “I am done with all lists but
one.
 
It is a list of things that need to
be done, and at the present moment there is one item that heads the list.
 
Unfortunately, it has to wait until our wedding
night.”

Selina
smiled up at Malcolm.
 
“That sounds like
your most interesting list yet.”

The
End