Mr. Personality (20 page)

* * *

“So, you’re telling me Pete knew his wife was unfaithful with a lot of different guys?” Nicole asked as she viciously scrubbed a potato over the sink in Ruth’s kitchen.

She didn’t know why she’d headed here after wandering around Manhattan. She’d just needed someone to talk to…preferably someone who didn’t hate Max.

Since making her way to Ruth’s, Nicole had thought of little else besides Max’s betrayal of his brother. That and his horrible comment comparing her to his brother’s wife.

“Yes, he knew.” Ruth nodded. “At least, I think so. Cynthia thinks he knew what his wife was up to, but Pete and I have never talked about it. Pete’s not the kind of guy who talks about personal things. We’ve never even discussed the incident between Max and Alexa.”

Nicole repressed the urge to wince. Just hearing the woman’s name spoken felt like a mental poke with a sharp stick. She kept envisioning Max kissing the woman…just as he’d kissed her. The thought left her queasy.

“What kind of a woman is…Alexa?” Nicole asked after a few minutes, hating her own curiosity about the woman who’d come between Max and his brother in such an ugly way. The woman who’d tempted Max into such a horrific betrayal of his brother and himself.

“I guess she’s attractive.” Ruth paused. “She was pretty much into her appearance. You know the type. Into clothes and plastic surgery. It was kind of a life focus for her, really.”

“She didn’t work?”

“Not since Ryan was born. She did dabble in interior decorating some. I think Max even let her do up a room in his apartment. She kind of nagged and begged him into it. Said it would give her an ‘in’ with other people who would then hire her. That was before the break-up. I don’t think Max has even seen her since she and Pete divorced.”

“So it wasn’t like they really got together?” Nicole hated herself for asking. What did it matter now? The damage was done. What kind of man could be forgiven for coveting his brother’s wife to the point of nearly bedding her? Pete was right. The natural conclusion to that kiss might well have been the bedroom. And just how did anyone know that kiss was the first?

Her thoughts came screeching to a halt here. Max might be clueless about some things, but she couldn’t see him outright lying.

“Oh, no, Max and Alexa didn’t really date.” Ruth came to rinse lettuce at the sink, casting a sideways glance at Nicole. “It was just that situation, you know. That once. At least, that’s what I think. I mean, it’s not like Woody boffing Mia Farrow’s daughter. From what I can gather, Max let his guard down one time and Alexa was there ready to jump in.”

“He’s a grown up man, Ruth. She didn’t molested him or something” Nicole said shortly. “He chose to, at the very least, kiss his brother’s wife.”

All afternoon she’d wrestled with the situation and she was no nearer to peace inside herself. She cared about the man, but that wasn’t reason to excuse everything that had happened. How could Max have had such tremendously bad judgment?

“I don’t know. I guess, he did kiss her,” Ruth agreed, shaking the lettuce before moving over to shred it into a bowl. “But you have to understand Max. Most people don’t. To most people who have any contact with him, he seems more like a series of social dysfunctions, but he’s really just very…unique. Very intense. But he’s tremendously kind once you get to know him. He’s not your average guy. And I’m not talking about his writing. Max is…different. He’s never talked to me much about his family, but over the years I’ve come to realize how badly his parents hurt him. They weren’t able to nurture their children. All they cared about was Max’s superior intellect and, I think, they pretty much blew Pete off completely.”

“He did that deliberately to get them off his coattails. Everywhere they went they were ‘Maxwell Tucker’s parents.’ His father even got a job at the publishing house he was working with then. They were really cold people, but they didn’t mind using their son toward their own ends. Max didn’t trust them to keep their hands off his money and he wanted them out of his life.”

Nicole couldn’t keep from saying, “A lot of people have bad parents, Ruth.”

“I know, but Max’s brilliance combined with his parents complete lack of parenting left him…I don’t know, isolated. He’s never really known how to communicate with other people…except on paper. On paper, he’s unmatched, really.”

On paper and in bed, Nicole thought, depressed. When they were making love, he’d been so tender…so passionate. But people couldn’t live in the sack.

Never in her life had she felt so torn. They had no real future. How could a person love someone they couldn’t trust? Max’s isolation and social disconnection might have led him into a poor choice out of his loneliness, but how had his life changed since that? Wasn’t he just as lonely? How could she expect him to make better choices in the future? And was it even desirable for her to think about Max and the future in the same breath?

“I can’t really explain him,” Ruth acknowledged. “I’ve known him since he was very young. Just starting out publishing really. I’ve seen him terrorize people with his cold tongue. He can be difficult. I’m the first to acknowledge he’s not easy—not with me or with Cynthia, but with his assistants. With me, he’s great. A really good friend. He’s never egotistical like some authors. He doesn’t require me to stroke his ego and tell him how wonderful he is all the time. He doesn’t even give me crap when I take a day or two to return his phone calls. Max knows I have other clients—although none as successful and prolific as he is.”

Ruth sighed, obviously grappling with the complexity of a man she felt a clear loyalty to. She obviously cared a lot for Max.

“I’ve read every word he’s written. I know he has a heart and a soul. This man who has trouble connecting with other people…he gives very generously to charities, although I’ve only had hints of it, just snatches of things really. He never allows any of his donations to be publicized.” Ruth wiped her hands on a dish towel. “We were talking about marketing and I asked him once why he didn’t want his gifts publicly recognized. He said there wasn’t much effort in a rich man giving away money. Plus, he doesn’t really care how people see him as long as they buy his books. That’s true, you know, but not true. He’s not the kind to worry about his reputation…but he needs someone…to care for him, you know?”

“I guess,” Nicole said slowly, “I need to understand how a woman like Alexa—from your description of her—could tempt him into hurting his brother.”

Even if she didn’t want a future with the man, Nicole hated thinking of Max as a man troubled enough to screw his brother’s wife.

Ruth looked at her, her face thoughtful. “You have to understand several things. First off, Pete’s pretty inaccessible himself. It wasn’t like he was ever there for Max. I think I told you that he always kind of resented Max’s success—“

“I understand that,” Nicole interpolated, “but his brother’s envy doesn’t give Max the right to make-out with Pete’s wife.”

“No.” Ruth pondered a moment. “As best as I can remember, the situation with Alexa happened when Max was particularly vulnerable.”

Nicole said nothing, her glance slicing to Ruth. How many of her students had ended up doing some stupid, illegal thing right when they were having trouble at home or with a girlfriend? She knew about vulnerability. It made some choices more understandable, but it didn’t automatically change the consequences.

“I know, I know,” Ruth said. “He doesn’t seem vulnerable in any way. But he’d written a particularly dark book. The kind that always leaves him needing an outlet afterwards. He was between sex partners at the time…and I think he was beginning to feel lonely for the first time in a long time. He’s always been lonely, but it was worse those few months before…the situation. Then, Alexa just kind of homed in on him. Begging him to let her redo a room in his place. She was over there all the time.”

“She must be quite a seductress to get Max to forget who she was married to.”

Ruth sighed. “It wasn’t so much a matter of forgetting as it was that…Alexa and Pete had been having trouble for quite awhile. She had her own life and he had his. At least, that’s the way it seemed the last few years they were together. And in those months before Pete found them kissing, she was at his apartment everyday. Supervising the decorating and hanging around. In fact, Max’s assistant at the time complained to me about it.”

Nicole was silent, grappling with the image of another woman in Max’s arms. Hating it and making herself face the possibility.

“He made a foolish mistake,” Ruth said, after a few minutes, “and he’s paying for it big time. But he’s not a bad guy. He…just needs…someone to help him connect to the world. Someone to entice him into…focusing some of his communication skills on the world around him.”

“And you think
I
could be that someone,” Nicole said slowly. Yes, that was what his friend meant, but what a tremendous effort it would involve. She’d have to give up the life she’d built for herself.

Was he worth it?

Ruth’s response was measured. “If you wanted to be, I think you could be very good for him.”

“You’re forgetting one thing,” Nicole said, her gut twisting in pain and confusion. “Even if I did decide I wanted to pursue…something long-term with Max, he has some say in this as well. Today he classified me along with Alexa—as big mistakes he’s made in his life.”

“I’m sure he was upset,” Ruth said, her head bent over the salad. “You know you’re nothing like her.”

“No?” Nicole murmured, trying hard to sort the situation through. “Maybe not, but I’m not sure a person just ‘gets over’ something like this. A man who has that kind of lapse in judgment…what makes it different in the future?”

Not saying anything, Ruth kept working on the meal.

Clearly, Max was nothing like he seemed at first. The ice-cold guy she’d first seen had a deep, complex, tortured personality. No wonder he was generally misunderstood and not always liked. In the hours since realizing she’d fallen in love with the bastard of the publishing world, she still couldn’t decide what her feelings meant for the future. Or even if she wanted them to have a future.

Max wasn’t a troubled teen who could be eased into talking about his problems and, from there, guided to a better kind of life.

In fact, she probably should pack her bags and go home now. Some people didn’t change, no matter how many chances they got. She’d learned that from working with teens, too.

Going home might be the best plan. She was pretty sure that Max wouldn’t follow through on suing her father. He probably never would have carried the lawsuit through to an actual courtroom. He just didn’t seem likely to spend his life—and his money—in years of legal wrangling. From a practical point of view, he’d probably have let go of the plagiarism issue way before they’d gotten to a judge. Her father would have been out thousands of dollars in legal fees up to that point, but Max would have eventually dropped the suit.

Unfortunately, believing that didn’t really clear things up. Certainly, it didn’t solve the issue of what to do with the part of her heart Max currently occupied. She cared about him, dammit and she couldn’t decide—was he worth the effort?

Since he’d walked away from her in the park, she’d thought of nothing else—even wondering if he was safely back at the apartment…and would he let her in tomorrow, if she decided to show up? If he was so upset by her finding out about his behavior with his brother’s wife, would he cut short their business involvement and find another way to finish the book?

Despite everything, to her frustration she couldn’t quite stop caring about him. Almost without realizing it, she found herself turning over ways to help him nurse his battered self to some semblance of normalcy. But she wasn’t stupid enough to think the task an easy one. How many women had come to grief trying to change a man?

Even if Max wanted to claw his way through his horrific past choices and create a new future, could he? Was he even capable of opening himself up to the world? And why would she think she could entice him into such a major change?

So far, all she’d managed to do was share two torrid sexual interchanges with him. She’d given him her body and a big chunk of her heart…did she want to go forward with this? Make a stab at making it work?

She didn’t know.

The only thing she was certain of now was that they couldn’t just pick up where they’d left off before she’d discovered the depths of his trouble.

* * *

The next morning, Max opened his apartment door for Nicole, trying to ignore the hard thumping in his chest.

“Good morning,” Nicole said, brushing past him as she had every other day since she started working for him.

Except for yesterday. Yesterday morning she’d greeted him at the door with a hot, open-mouthed kiss…and then he’d proceeded to try and ignore her erotic power till he’d finally broken down and nailed her on the landing. Or let her nail him. It had seemed pretty mutual all the way around and deeply, intensely, satisfying.

But he knew he could never go there with her again, not and maintain his sanity…certainly not if he wanted the damned book finished.

Watching her disappear into the office, he told himself to focus instead on the fact that she was there at all. He had to admit to some surprise about that. She’d been so angry and…hurt yesterday in the park, but here she was, back at work.

They were going forward, it seemed and he was relieved that, at least, the book was safe.