Mr Toppit (35 page)

“I’m Arthur’s son,” I said again.

“Martha’s son?”

“Well, hers, too. I mean, they’re both my parents.”

“Martha. Now she was quite something,” he said.

“She’s my mother.”

“Quite something. Yes.”

That seemed to be all he was planning to say. His eyes swiveled down again, like those headlights you get on sports cars.

“I know Graham,” I said. “Your son.”

“Graham,” he said dismissively. “All those silly books.”

His eyes came up again and they seemed much clearer this time. It was as if he was seeing me properly.

“Are you the boy?” he said. “Are you Jordan?”

I didn’t know what to say. If I could have I would have turned and run, but he put out his hand and grasped my arm. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry,” and then he began to talk.

• • •

When we got home, Travis said he was going to bed. Unusually for him, he had been silent on the drive back. Merry either couldn’t come to meet us or didn’t want to. “See you in the morning, bro.” He gave me a rather sad hug and shook my hand.

Laurie was on the phone in the den when I got in. She waved at me, gesturing for me to stay.

“Some guy,” she was saying. “He’s named Paul Schiller. No, I don’t know who he is. I thought maybe he was someone from Modesto. I thought you might know him. I don’t want another thing like the last one. Okay, Rick. Thanks.”

I don’t know whether an apology had been made behind the scenes, but she and Rick seemed to be speaking. He had been over at the house a couple of times since that evening but the last family supper had been just Laurie and Erica, Travis and me.

“This guy keeps phoning,” Laurie said, when she’d hung up. “He’s called about twenty times a day for the last couple of weeks at the studio, says he knows me. He won’t leave a message. He says he’ll only talk to me. You’ve got to be careful. This town’s like Stalker Central. We had a real problem with this woman last year. She hung around here, tried to get in once. Police came, we had to have security patrols. In the end we went to court and got a restraining order. Hey, how was the movie?”

“Something really strange happened,” I said. “After the film …”

“Do you want a soda?”

“No, I’m fine. After the movie I talked to Wally Carter and …”

She was brushing cat hairs off the sofa, then got up and put a great clump in the wastepaper bin. I wanted to tell her what had happened with Wally, but I couldn’t seem to find an entry point. I could tell she had something on her mind.

“It’s been so great having you here,” she said. “I wish I could have done more stuff with you but the show just takes everything over.”

“I’ve had a really good time,” I said, which was more or less true.

“You’re going back home when? Week after next?”

“A week on Tuesday.”

“I need you to do something for me.” I waited. “You know we sent a crew over to England? To cover the filming?”

“Yes. They said, when we went to the set.”

“We’ve got some great stuff. That kid. What’s his name?”

“Toby Luttrell.”

“He’s good. Strange looking.”

“At least he’s nothing like me.”

She laughed. “You’re much better looking. We’ve cut it together. It’s really good. Great interviews. I’ve got the show set up. We could shoot it the Monday before you go. We won’t air it yet. I want to hold it until September when the ratings will be up.” She looked me up and down. “I’ll get Kevin to take you shopping, find you some nice clothes. Do you want to get your hair cut?”

“Laurie …” I said.

“I try to do a
Hayseed
show every six months or so, sometimes just a segment. Audiences love it. We’ve had some great people on. Larry Hagman, Sally Field—Robin Williams did one. He was hilarious. Did a great improv on what he thought Mr. Toppit’s voice would be like. I should show you some clips.”

I felt really awkward. “You want me to be on the show?”

She squeezed my hand. “We’ll rehearse it, go through the questions first. It’s easy.”

“I’d rather not, Laurie.”

“Look, you don’t need to be nervous. I know it seems like a big thing, with the audience and all, but I don’t do it like other people. I make it really intimate. It’ll just be like you and me talking now. That’s not difficult, is it?”

Actually it was. “I don’t want to.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You can take a VHS back to England, show everyone. National television, think of that. Martha’ll enjoy it.”

I doubted that. “I really don’t want to do it.”

Her voice became harder. “Look, I’ve got the footage we shot in England. I’ve got to build it round something.”

“Why don’t you get Robin Williams again?”

“Listen, these guys’ schedules are really complicated. You can’t just snap your fingers and get them on the show. They like to do it when they’ve got a movie to publicize at the same time.”

“Isn’t there someone else who’s got a movie coming out?”

“Luke, I’ve lived and breathed these books for five years. You are the books. This is probably the most important show I’ve ever done. I need you to do this for me. Everyone’s already working on it, been working on it for most of the summer. Don’t you want to do it for your father? Make him proud? What would he think if you were too nervous to do it?”

It was such a ridiculous notion wondering what Arthur would have thought about me being on a television show that I couldn’t help laughing. Laurie didn’t like that. She tried to add something honeyed to her voice. “It’s a nightmare being your age. I remember. You feel so self-conscious. This could be your entrance to the adult world.”

In fact, I felt like I’d done that already with Merry. I wanted to say, as a child would, “Please don’t make me.” Instead I shook my head.

“Oh, Luke, it’ll be fine. I promise you. There’s a book my friend Marge gave me:
Making Fear Your Friend
. Isn’t that a great title?”

“I’m not frightened, Laurie. I just don’t want to do it.”

“Why not? It’s not a lot to ask.”

It’s really difficult saying no to people, and this was like a double negative because I also didn’t want to explain why I wouldn’t do it.

“Why are you turning your back on everything your father did?” she said.

You can tell when everything gets stripped from a voice: the layers that have been added, the warm colors. We were down to bare walls now. “Haven’t you had a good time here, Luke? Lots of kids would love to have a summer in LA. Swimming pool, sun, people driving you around, everyone making a fuss of you. Is that it? You want more? You have a pretty good life, Luke. I’ve worked all my life, had to. You’re going to be a wealthy young man. You’ve got to give something back. What your dad did for you is what everybody dreams of. You’ve got to pay your dues. Respect him.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I’m asking this one thing of you.”

“I can’t. I won’t. I’d rather …” I was trying to think of all the terrible things that I would rather do. Martha would have said, “I’d rather slit my throat and drink my own blood,” but I didn’t want to copy her. Instead, what slipped out was “I’d rather act in
Camelot.”
I wish I hadn’t said it, but she’d pushed me.

She was shaking with anger. I’d seen what she was like when she lost her temper. So had Marty and BJ. They jumped off the sofa and scuttled out of the room. She managed to hold it back while she pulled herself up to her feet. Her face was turning into that pumpkin again. “You couldn’t play the son of a king, Luke. You wouldn’t know how. You don’t have it in you,” she hissed, then left the room.

Maybe the summer had lasted too long. It felt like that the next morning. It felt like everything had turned sour. By the time I got up Laurie had gone. Actually, I’d made sure of that. I had waited until I heard Stan’s car pulling out of the drive taking her to the studio. If I could have, I would have flown home then. As it was I was stuck, not only in Los Angeles but in that house. Laurie lived in what were called “the flats,” the area just south of Beverly Hills before it became hills, and there was nowhere even to walk to unless you liked very long walks.

Travis seemed as gloomy as I was. I told him what had happened with Laurie and he, of course, thought it was extraordinary not to want to be on television. He put it down to English eccentricity and I didn’t bother to correct him.

“I wish she’d ask me,” he said. “I could do some of my songs. It’d be like a showcase. I might even get a record deal. You think I should ask her? I mean, now she’s got an empty space.”

I laughed. “It’s either you or that ventriloquist of Rick’s.”

“You think so?” he said earnestly.

“No, Travis, I don’t.”

“You think Merry might come over today?”

I didn’t see any reason why she would as she hadn’t been over for a week or more. “I don’t know, Travis.”

“I know she’s got some heavy shit to get through, but we could help her,” he said.

“Maybe she needs to do it on her own. I’m not sure taking all that … chakra’s helping much.”

It was never a good idea to use metaphors with Travis. “No,” he said, shaking his head, “it’s really healing. It’s like an entire healing system. I mean, for the whole body. Wade’s been great. He’s been to India and everything. He’s like a guru. You should meet him, you’d really like him.”

I’d have to take Travis’s word for that. “Let’s go out,” I said. “I’m feeling claustrophobic.”

He looked around the poolhouse. “Yeah, this is kind of a small room.”

“In general, Travis, not just here.”

“Okay, where do you want to go?”

We went to Paradise Cove. We sneaked into the store room behind the kitchen and took a six-pack of beer to keep us going, as we usually did when we went swimming. As if by an unspoken agreement we took our swimming trunks: like the best of the summer, the days of skinny-dipping had come and gone.

When we got back, I could hear the regular thwack of tennis balls being hit. It was like a metronome. Erica had a weird machine that automatically threw balls at her so she could practice on her own. I was surprised to see her heading towards the house. She didn’t come up often if Laurie wasn’t there.

“Ah, Luke,” she said. “I wondered when you’d be back.”

“Hi, Erica. We’ve been swimming. I’m just going to change.”

She ignored this. “You’ve upset Laurie,” she said bluntly.

She was so tall that she always hunched over a little. With her long, thin legs she reminded me of a heron.

I couldn’t think what to say, so I tried, “I’m sorry.”

“Yes,” she said, “I’m sure you are. It’s not too late to apologize.”

“Apologize for what?”

“I don’t know, Luke. You were the one who said you were sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to upset Laurie.”

Erica was taking no prisoners. “But you did. It’s done now.”

“Well, that’s what I’m sorry for.”

“You must rectify it. It’s not hard.”

“You mean go on the show?”

“It’s up to you, Luke. You got yourself into this situation and now you must get yourself out of it.”

“I didn’t get myself into this situation, Erica. I didn’t ask to go on the show.”

“What are you? Eighteen?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then, you should be more grown-up. You think being on the TV is so frightening? What? Like Red Indians, you think it will steal your soul?”

The truth is, I had been wavering. I was thinking that maybe it would be easier if I just did the show. This was all too agonizing, but Erica saying that pushed me in the opposite direction. It was so ridiculous I just wanted to laugh.

I tried to sound calm and in control. “I wish people would stop saying I’m frightened. It’s not that at all. I just don’t want to do it. Honestly, Erica, I’d feel happier talking about this with Laurie. It’s really between her and me.”

“Is that because I’m only the nurse? The staff? I know what you English are like, all upstairs-downstairs.”

This was turning into a nightmare. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m sure it would have been nice to keep it between you and Laurie but she chose to talk to me, Luke. It was her who elected to open it into a wider arena, not me.”

“I should go and change,” I said, holding out my wet towel as evidence.

She looked at it with contempt. “Is there something more Laurie could have done for you? You use this house as your own.”

“Is that wrong? Laurie invited me. She stayed with us in England.”

“I don’t suppose she was stealing things.”

“What?”

“It’s an unusual way to repay hospitality.”

“I haven’t stolen anything.” This was so outrageous that my voice squeaked.

“Consuela mentioned it. She was very embarrassed, poor thing.”

“Mentioned what?”

“Oh, Luke, people aren’t blind. Even if they’re just servants. The beer, Luke, there seems to be a shortage of beer in the store room. I know how refreshing it can be on these hot days, but to steal it?”

I stumbled through the next bit. This was awful. I knew my face had gone bright red. “I didn’t steal it.”

“Oh, I see. You asked if you could have it. Fine. Who was it you asked?”

“Laurie said I should make myself at home,” I said feebly.

“So everything is fair game, is it? Are there some books you would like to take? Some jewelry? Perhaps some hi-fi equipment?”

“It was only beer.”

“Oh, fine. And what about the tequila? Do you often drink hard liquor? How old did you say you were?”

I felt sick. “I told you.”

“Yes, you did, Luke. You know what a puritanical country this is. The legal drinking age is twenty-one in California. Did you know that?”

“Laurie offers me wine at dinner.”

“What Laurie does in her own house is up to her, Luke.” I wished she would stop using my name. “And, of course, you haven’t taken any of this alcohol outside the house, have you? In a car maybe?”

“I haven’t driven anywhere. I haven’t passed my test.”

“But your friend Travis—he’s your designated driver as they say here, isn’t he? How old is he?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Mmm?”

“Twenty.” It came out as a whisper.

“You’d expect Travis to be foolish. He’s not so bright. But you, Luke, with that expensive English education? This is a very litigious country. You and Travis on some joyride. You run over a child. You’re both underage. Oh, the lawyers would love that. They’re thirsty for blood here. Who gets sued? Not you two, no. The person who supplied you with the alcohol, the person who has done no wrong other than to invite you into her house and asked you to treat it like your own. And you’ve done that, Luke, you’ve done that with great style, if I may say so.”