Mumnesia (9 page)

Normal?!
I stare at her, confused. Hasn’t she
heard a word I’ve said?

‘But that doesn’t explain
your
weird
behaviour,’ she adds.

‘Huh?’ I blink in surprise. ‘
My
weird
behaviour?’

‘Yes! Your bimbo makeover’s one thing,
but—’

‘My
what
?’ I gasp, my whole body bristling.
‘Just because I’ve dyed my hair doesn’t make me
a
bimbo
! Is that what you meant when you called that
Madonna song “blonde”?’

‘Material Girl?’ Kimmy scoffs, dumping her
untouched drink in the sink. ‘Life’s about more than
clothes and shopping, Lucy. Or at least it should be.’

‘Kimmy, it’s just a song!’ I scowl at her.
‘It’s classic Madonna! We used to dance to
“Holiday” all the time!’

‘Yeah, goofing around, changing the words and taking the
mickey!’

I fold my arms tightly, trying to contain my anger.
‘Well, I
like
Madonna.’

She raises an eyebrow. ‘Really?’

‘Yes! Really!’ I snap. ‘
And
I LOVED
the pink limo.’

‘Wow. Maybe you should join the Megabimbos then, if
that’s what you want. I thought you were better than
that.’

‘What does that mean?’ I demand, my hands flying
to my hips.

‘Why can’t you just be yourself, Lucy?’
Kimmy says sadly.

‘I
am
being myself – I’ve only
changed my hair!’ I protest, my pulse pounding in my ears.
‘You just don’t like it because now I’m more
confident and popular and I’m finally fitting
in!’

‘Why would you
want
to fit in with
them
?’

‘The most popular girls in our year?’ I laugh.
‘Like, duh!’

‘
Like, duh!
’ she mocks, pacing back and
forth angrily. ‘You even
sound
like them! Why do you
want to be like them? They’re horrible!’

‘No, they’re not!’ I argue.
‘They’ve been lovely tonight.
You’re
the
only one being horrible, and you’re supposed to be my best
friend!’

‘And you’re supposed to be mine!’ Kimmy
rounds on me, her eyes glistening like wet pebbles. ‘But
best friends don’t break their promises!’ Her voice
cracks and she turns away from me. ‘We were going to get
our ears pierced together, remember? When we’re thirteen?
We had a deal!’

OMG, I totally forgot! Guilt prickles under my skin, but
I’m too upset to apologize. ‘Well . . . well,
I’d probably
never
have got them pierced if I waited
for you,’ I retort. ‘I never see you outside of
school! You never have time for me any more – you’re
always too busy with your stupid sports! Like tonight!’

Kimmy throws up her hands. ‘I had netball –
we’ve got a match tomorrow!’

‘Well, maybe you should go home and practise
then!’ I yell, storming out of the kitchen and slamming the
door behind me.

‘Material Girl’ is just
finishing and everyone else is giggling and laughing. Why does
Kimmy have to take everything so seriously? I was having fun
until she turned up! Then ‘Holiday’ comes on, and I
feel a pang. Usually this would start an instant goof-off contest
between us.

‘Woo-hoo! This one’s my favourite!’ Shazza
squeals. ‘Come on, girls!’ She swings her hips and
waves her arms in the air, in perfect time with Madonna on the
TV.

Freya laughs. ‘Your mum is so cool!’

She wouldn’t have said that if she’d met her two
days ago!

I smile as I fall into step with the group, and as we twirl
and kick and clap and giggle together I’ve never felt so
popular in my life. Why should I let Kimmy spoil everything?

Suddenly the doorbell rings. ‘Pizza!’ Shazza
cries, racing to the door.

Then, over the music, I hear a voice sing,
‘
Hollanda-aise!
’

I turn to see Kimmy, arms and legs whirling like a Catherine
wheel, her hair flying everywhere as she shakes her head wildly.
‘
Saliva-ate!
’

A small smile plays at my lips.

‘
What
is she doing?’ Megan pulls a face as
if she’s smelled something gross.

I know exactly what she’s doing. She’s
goofball-dancing, just like we always do.

‘Those aren’t the moves!’ Viv says with a
frown.

‘She’s so weird!’ Nicole sneers.

Kimmy pretends to cram food in her mouth as she bounces up and
down. ‘
It would ta-aste . . . it would taste SO
GOOD!
’

‘Uh, those aren’t even the lyrics, Chung.’
Megan smirks. ‘Like,
duh
!’

‘I know!’ Kimmy laughs. ‘That’s the
point, right, Luce?’

Everyone turns to stare at me and I feel my cheeks grow hot.
#Cringe! How has the best night of my life suddenly become the
most awkward? I look around for Shazza, but she’s still
outside.

What should I do? Should I join in with Kimmy and embarrass
myself in front of the Megababes, just after I’ve
finally
been accepted? Or – wait . . . is that what
Kimmy
wants
? My stomach hardens. Well, she can look like a
fool by herself.

‘I’ve no idea what she’s doing.
Weird!’ I shrug.

‘
Mega-
weird!’ Megan sniggers, slipping her
arm through mine. The rest of the Megababes laugh, but all I can
see is the surprise and disappointment on Kimmy’s face as
she stops dancing. Then she runs out the door.

OMG. What have I done?

‘Keep the change –
Oof!
’ Someone hurtles into my back, knocking me
straight into the delivery guy! Pizza boxes crash everywhere as
we both stumble. Then I look up and spot Kimmy racing away.
What’s going on?

I gather up the boxes, then go back into the
lounge and dish them out – but there’s no sign of
Lucy. Uh-oh.

‘Pizza!’ I cry, opening the kitchen door to find
her slumped miserably at the table.

‘I’m not hungry,’ she
mutters.

‘What
happened
?’ I hurry over,
sliding the pizza box on to the table as I sit down beside her.
‘One minute everyone’s totally psyched, dancing
around, the next Kimmy’s bowling me over as she rushes out
the door! Did you two fight?’

‘Kind of.’ She explains what
happened. ‘I wanted to go after her, but I couldn’t
leave my own party!’ Lucy sighs. ‘Why can’t we
just all be friends together?’

‘Ugh,’ I groan, opening the pizza box
and serving us each a big slice. ‘I went through, like, the
exact same thing last month. Me and my best friend Lily had a big
bust-up when this new girl, Caroline, started at our school. I
got jealous because they started going to ballet class together.
But now we’re all friends!’ I beam, taking a bite of
pizza.

‘Really?’ Lucy picks at her slice
doubtfully, making a little pile of sweetcorn on her napkin.

‘Mm-hmm.’ I swallow. ‘I was
worried Caroline was going to, like, take my place, but I was
being totally dumb. Just because you make new friends or like
different things –’ I pop a piece of Lucy’s
discarded sweetcorn in my mouth and grin –
‘doesn’t mean you can’t still be best
friends.’

Lucy smiles and passes me the rest of her
sweetcorn.

‘Just let Kimmy cool off, then talk to her
later,’ I advise. ‘Ooh – and take her some cold
pizza as a peace offering!’

‘Cold pizza?’ Lucy winces.
‘Yuck!’

‘Are you kidding? I LOVE cold
pizza!’

‘Weirdo!’ She laughs, taking a big
bite.

‘Takes one to know one!’ I wink. At
least Lucy’s smiling – and eating! – again.

Suddenly Megan rushes into the kitchen followed
by the Mega-clones. ‘Luce! Shazza! Quick!’ she cries,
her face pale. ‘
MEGA-emergency!
’

Lucy drops her pizza and jumps up.
‘What’s happened?!’

‘Like, duh! Look at me!’ Megan
gestures to her school dress, which has the tiniest bit of pizza
sauce smeared down the front. ‘Help!’

That’s
the emergency?

‘Don’t worry!’ Lucy says.
‘I’m sure it’ll come out.’

‘Can you wash it for me, please,
Shazza?’ Megan asks anxiously.

‘Um. Yeah . . . probably,’ I say with
a shrug.

‘Thank you!’ Megan beams.
‘Luce, can I borrow something to wear?’

They hurry out, leaving me staring helplessly
round the kitchen. I have no idea how to use a washing machine
– especially a futuristic one! – and where on earth
even
is
it?

‘Oh, Luce, what an adorable
room!’ Megan coos as the Megababes follow me inside.
‘Now, let’s see what we’ve got here . .
.’

She flings open my wardrobe doors and I wince. I
so
don’t have anything cool enough for Megan to wear. This is
going to be uber-embarrassing – especially if anyone spots
Zebby! I shove him under my duvet quickly, but luckily the
Megababes are too busy rifling through the hangers to notice.
#CloseShave. But as Megan tosses an array of tops, jumpers and
dresses into a mounting reject heap on my bed it’s hard to
resist the urge to crawl underneath and hide with him.

‘What’s this?’ Megan says suddenly, peering
inside a shopping bag.

I freeze as she pulls out the sparkly white dress Shazza
bought me.

‘Isn’t that the one you tried on yesterday,
Megan?’ Cara says.

‘When did you get this?’ Megan asks, her voice
sugary sweet.

‘Um . . . it’s new,’ I gulp, feeling all the
blood drain from my face.

‘Obvs!’ She pulls the receipt out of the bag.
‘Yesterday afternoon. Four o’clock.’

Viv gasps. ‘But that’s just after you tried it on,
Megan!’

‘OMG, were you
spying
on us, Lucy?’ Nicole
rounds on me.

‘No! I—’

‘Lucy wouldn’t do that, would you, Luce?’
Megan says lightly. ‘You wouldn’t watch me try on a
dress for the ball and then buy it yourself,
would
you
?’

‘No! I didn’t even—’

‘Because you’d know we can’t
both
wear it, right?’ Megan walks towards me, the expensive
dress dangling from her fingertips. ‘That’d be
MEGA-lame. For both of us.’ She smiles icily.

‘Right,’ I mumble, my cheeks burning.

She steps closer. ‘So . . . who gets to wear it to the
ball?’

‘You should, Megan – you saw it first!’ Cara
says.

‘And you looked so good in it, Megan!’ Viv says
quickly.

‘So much better than Lucy would,’ Nicole adds.
‘No offence.’

Yeah, right.

‘Now, girls –’ Megan smiles –
‘there’s only
one
way to decide.’ She
tosses the dress to me. ‘Put it on, Luce.’

‘What?’ I shake my head quickly.
‘No!’

‘Come on, we just want to see who wears it best –
like in the magazines!’

‘No!’ I back away from them, my legs trembling.
‘I don’t want to!’ I fall backwards on to the
bed, surrounded by all my rejected clothes.

‘But, Lucy –’ Megan tilts her head to one
side as she looks down at me – ‘how will we know who
looks best in it?’

‘You will,’ I mutter, desperate for the
humiliation to end.

‘Sorry?’ She leans closer, a hand to her ear.

‘You’ll look better in it,’ I say,
swallowing hard, desperately struggling not to cry. ‘You
look better in everything.’

Megan beams. ‘Aw, that’s so
sweet
of you,
Lucy! Isn’t it, babes?’

The Megababes smirk.

‘So you won’t mind if I borrow it, right?’
Megan plucks the dress from my hands.

I look up. ‘What?’

‘Well, you see, I was going to buy this dress too . . .
but now we’ve agreed we can’t
both
wear it to
the ball, that seems an
eensy
bit wasteful, doesn’t
it? I mean there’s no point it just sitting in your
wardrobe, right?’ Megan steps back and flicks her hair
triumphantly. ‘In fact I could take it now, while I’m
here! I do need to change out of my dirty dress, and you
did
say I could borrow your clothes . . .’

I sigh heavily, utterly beaten. ‘Fine,’ I mumble,
my eyes stinging as I glare at the floor, wishing it would just
swallow me up.

‘Great!’ Megan squeals.

‘Lucy!’ Shazza calls, poking her head round the
door. ‘Could you put some more music on in the lounge,
please? Megan, sweetie, the sooner I wash your dress, the more
likely that stain will come out.’

‘Just a minute, Shazza!’ Megan smiles.
‘I’m just gonna get changed. Lucy’s loaned me
the most beautiful dress. She’s SUCH a great
friend.’

‘Takes one to know one!’ Shazza says, winking at
me.

If only she’d been here five minutes ago.

Ugh! What a mega-mean, mega-bogus mega-jerk
Megan is! I wanted to storm in five minutes ago when I overheard
them being majorly nasty to poor Lucy, but then I had a
much
better idea . . .

I wait until Megan’s changed, then give it
ten minutes before heading into the lounge to find her flouncing
around in Lucy’s beautiful new dress, her clones cooing
around her while Luce watches miserably from the corner.

I plaster on a sickly-sweet smile. ‘OK,
everyone, the limo’s ready to take you home!’
There’s a chorus of groans, but Lucy looks relieved.
‘Thanks for coming!’ I call as the girls gather their
bags and coats. ‘Take care now.’

‘Thanks, Shazza!’ Megan cries as the
others collect their things. ‘It’s been
mega-cool!’

‘Oh, you’re welcome,’ I call
loudly. ‘And I’ll do my best to get the pizza sauce
out of your dress – and that other stain too.’ I wink
at her.

Megan frowns. ‘What other stain?’

I glance round quickly to make sure
everyone’s listening.

‘You know, where you had your little
–’ I speak in a loud stage whisper –
‘accident.’

Megan’s jaw drops as a hush falls over the
room.

‘Don’t worry, sweetie.’ I pat
her shoulder in my best motherly manner. ‘Everyone gets a
little
over-excited
at parties sometimes, and
occasionally, well, we don’t get to the toilet in time, do
we?’