Murder at Jade Cove (Cedar Bay Cozy Mystery Book 2) (21 page)

“You can be at two
places at the same time,” said the chairman, much to everyone’s astonishment.
They all looked at each other not knowing what to say.

"That's bull freaking
shit," said one man.

"Well, that's
resistance for you right there. I'm not here to change your beliefs, but
wouldn't it better if you investigated the matter further rather than
dismissing it so abruptly?" asked the chairman.

“So this is for real?”
asked another.

“Yes,” said the
chairman.

“Nice. We could all
work two jobs at once and no one would know,” said a senior gentleman.
“Woooohoooooooo,” all of them screamed out loud.

“But if that’s the
case, then why doesn’t everyone do it?” asked one guy, with a puzzled look on
his face.

“There was a man
sitting on the bank of a river who was hypnotized (plugged into the matrix) by
the upside-down reflection of a tree, shimmering in the crystal clear water. He
took it for reality. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and told him that the
tree was right behind him and upright," said the chairman. "He turned
around, saw it and then immediately turned his head back towards the
reflection, happy that everything was the same once more.”

“Always remember that
the
world is upside down
. Your external senses will mesmerize you until you
wake up. Till then one mirage after the next will be taken for reality.”

"Is sex bad?"
asked a young man.

“My grandmother used to
say - don’t talk about sex at the dinner table or you’ll get a pregnant pause,”
the chairman replied. “The world has moved on. No, sex is not bad, but
excessive sex will result in a wretched life," replied the chairman.

"Very
interesting," remarked one woman.

"Yeah, and the old
ones are as horny as the young," added a young gal, who was known for her
outspokenness, much to the embarrassment of the older folk, most of whom went
beet red.

"That's a good
topic for a Ph.D thesis," chuckled the chairman, as he deftly maneuvered
the topic in another direction. "So let's move on to the next big topic
that sucks the life out of you."

CHAPTER
6

Sin,
a Wretched Invention

“There is no such thing
as ‘sin’," said the chairman. "The whole concept of retribution and
heaven and hell is a figment of your imagination.
Sin gives birth to guilt,
and guilt kills you
. It literally snuffs the life out of your being. You do
something and someone says you have sinned and you will be punished.

“This guilt gets buried
deep within your bosom and never lets you live freely. You expect to be
punished for as long as you live because this guilty memory haunts you forever.
Any surprises as to why most humans are like dodos that became extinct because
they couldn’t fly?” exclaimed the chairman.

He waited for an
answer. The chairman possessed the limitless patience that teachers and bosses
often lack: people need plenty of time to hear a question and answer it.

“Any clue as to why
most humans are like dodos that became extinct because they couldn’t fly?” the
chairman repeated.

“Escuse me, shir,” said
a toothless old man. “What does a dodo and flying have to do with the money you
promised to talk about?”

The chairman’s poise
was momentarily ruffled by the old man’s question.

After a pause, he
reached down and withdrew a large-denomination bill from his pocket, which he
slowly folded into a paper airplane. He tossed it gently into the air, and
after a respectable flight, the green bill landed on the floor near a young
gal’s feet.

“Money can fly,” said
the chairman. “The dodo couldn’t.”

The crowd chuckled. The
toothless man cackled that his money flew, all right, into the hands of the
income tax and bill collectors.

Before all the laughter
had subsided the chairman resumed, “If you don’t start living, then you’re
headed for dododum.
In the Dodo world, one dumb Dodo told the rest that
flying was a sin, and anyone who flew would be cursed to a life of hell once
they died
.

“Well, when the hunters
came the birds were rooted to the ground, not because they couldn’t fly, but
because of the guilt that imprisoned them, because some idiot dodo proclaimed
that flying was sinful,” said the chairman.

“I’ve never heard of a
better example,” said one gal, giggling.

"Human dodos
abound, the world is full of them, and to make things worse - they love to hear
the sound of their own voice. So their mouths are open like open gutters
24/7," said the chairman.

Between giggles, a
young girl glanced at the paper airplane on the floor.

“Can you give us an
example of imaginary sin?” a young man asked earnestly, and wondered if someone
was going to pick up the money.

“If you don’t fast
during certain times of the year you are labelled a sinner," said the
chairman. "Those who 'fast' think that some foreign entity will shower
them with blessings and welcome them with open arms.

“Even though you refuse
to accept the concept of fasting and put up a brave front, internally it's
eating you up. You tell yourself you are a sinner. To hell with it you say;
you’ve committed so many sins that you might as well embrace hell with all guns
blazing. In this way you condemn yourself to a living hell right here and right
now. If you do not conform to the
dodoisms of society,
then you are
gifted with the ultimate status symbol – there walks a sinner.

"The irony of the
situation is that when you condemn someone else you are committing a sin -
which is nothing but the absence of goodness. At that moment you are spewing
venom, which you thought you were never capable of.

"There's nothing
right or wrong about fasting. If it suits your spiritual path then embrace it
by all means. But coercing, castigating or rebuking others regarding something
they cannot 'relate to' nor are 'comfortable with' causes a lot of harm to both
parties," said the chairman.

"So evil is the
absence of goodness?" asked a young woman.

"Yes, in the heat
of the moment when you lose your sanity because of a lack of awareness you
become a sinner," said the chairman.    

“Are non-vegetarians
sinners?” asked an elderly lady, with a worried look on her face.

“That’s a good
question,” said one girl.

“Hmm… ok here goes,”
said the chairman.

“If there is one sin
then here it is – emitting a negative thought. It does the only thing it can -
it comes back and bites you,” said the chairman.

“Billions of
vegetarians spew billions of negative thoughts on a daily basis and a few even
harbor thoughts of killing, looting and plundering on a global scale (if their
interests are harmed),” said the chairman.

“In many cases,
vegetarians wholeheartedly endorse murderous decisions taken by those who
represent them. In this way both vegetarians and non-vegetarians kill hundreds,
maybe thousands in conflicts, skirmishes and wars that take place on a daily
basis,” said the chairman.

“So both are on the
same level, slightly above that of animals. Animals walk around naked, you have
clothes on -
internally both are looking to survive not thrive.
You
think that turning into a vegetarian makes you ‘spiritual’ automatically. How
smoothly you delude yourself!”

“Lottsa things are
beginning to take on a whole new meaning,” said one man.

“Looks like we have
much bigger issues to deal with,” said an elderly gentleman.

“Your thoughts are
diametrically opposite to ours,” opined one woman.

“Since sin doesn’t
exist, we can party a lot harder from now on,” said a young guy. Everyone
screamed: “Wooohooooooooooooooooo.”

“So what you're saying
is that we can commit a crime and get away with it?” asked an elderly
gentleman.

“Good question. Since
there’s no retribution, it’s a free ride, right?” asked one gal. 

“Well, it’s not that
simple,” said the chairman. “When you commit a crime your conscience gets
jolted. This jolt results in the formation of a negative imprint, which gets
added to your memory bank, which is already overflowing with billions of such
imprints.

“These imprints give
out a certain type of energy just like a magnet. This magnetic force attracts
you to people, places and things vibrating at the same energy level. You can
steal a piece of paper, a pen, a book or money from a bank; it’s all the same.

“So if you lie or
steal, no matter how small or how big, it gets registered, and this attracts
you to liars and thieves. They might be from the ghetto or they might be
wearing skirts and suits, but the undeniable fact is - ‘like attracts like’.

"Another way of
looking at it is - your conscience is the software and your memory is the
database. When "an act" involves an emotion then the result of that
act gets added to the database. The bigger the database the harder life gets.
In other words, keep your emotions in check and travel light. You'll go fast
and you'll go far and you'll be happy.  

“So it's back again to
the memory and its back again to the most important saying of all time – empty
yourself of your memories, for the reason your life is the same as your parents
or differs very marginally is because
the same memory patterns bring forth
the same experiences
.”

“So what you're telling
us is that there’s no entity sittin' in heaven doling out bouquets and
brickbats?” clarified an old man.

“That’s right,” said
the chairman.

“I’ve been terrorized
into submission by my folks who keep telling me that I’ll end up in hell if I
sin,” said a young gal, her cheeks pink with guilt.

“I’ve never believed in
any of this worship stuff,” said one guy. “Every time I’d ask a question they’d
frighten me by telling me that bad things happen to those who ask too many
questions.”

“So to recap, you are
bleeding precious energy because you daydream, blame, complain and criticize,
because of infatuation, because you are weighed down by useless memories,
because of sin and guilt (if not a lot then a little). Sin is a figment of your
imagination that never had anything to stand on but survived for so long
because
you energized it with fear
that sprouted from your being
,” said the
chairman.

"Women are good
when it comes to all of this. Their bullshit detector is far better than a
man's. They've always been the protector whereas man has always been the
provider. You put bullshit on a man's plate, he'll eat it and then say - Well, that
tasted kinda funny.

Everyone burst out
laughing.

"Learn from women,
you'll prosper tremendously," said the chairman

*****

Once, three beautiful
birds landed on the front lawn of a house. The lady of the house was busy with
her daily chores when she nonchalantly looked up and saw these heavenly
creatures. She went up to them and almost let out a shriek when the first bird
said: “My name is Love.”

The second bird said:
“My name is Success,” and the third bird said: “My name is Wealth.”

The lady could scarcely
believe her good fortune. She invited all of them in, but Love told her, that
she could only choose one of them.

She went running in and
called her husband. Soon, there was an animated discussion, about which bird
was to be let in. The fight was for Success and Wealth, neither wanted Love.

A little while later,
their eight year old daughter came out and saw the birds. Since her parents
were unable to come to a decision, they asked her to choose. The little girl
didn’t know what Success or Wealth meant, so she chose Love.

As soon as Love flew
into the house, Success and Wealth too flew into the house. This left the
parents perplexed. Love had conveniently forgotten to mention, that if it was
chosen, then Success and Wealth had no option but to follow it, wherever it
went.

*****

CHAPTER
7

Nothing
can Kill You!

The chairman
looked over at the paper plane made of money that still lay unclaimed on the
floor. No one had dared pick it up. Maybe they were afraid of being labelled as
greedy. Just when the chairman was going to reach down for it, the young gal
retrieved it for him. He thanked her as he pocketed the money.

“So, how many of
you are afraid of death?” asked the chairman.

All of them
raised their hands.

“Why?” asked the
chairman.

“It's game over
once we’re dead, ain’t no fun in that,” said one man.

“Here’s a
scientific fact that science does not know yet: you are immortal,
you will
never die or in other words - nothing can kill you, because
you are the
essence
,” said the chairman.