Murder Passes the Buck (24 page)

“
Now I
’
m worried again.
”

Discouraged, I collected my toolbox from the kitchen and we trudged back to the truck.

“
I saw lights in the house,
”
Little Donny said.
“
Don
’
t tell me you two broke in.
”

“
All right, I won
’
t.
”
I hadn
’
t planned on telling him anyway.

“
You
’
re going to have to get out and push,
”
I said to him after I
’
d been rocking the truck back and forth like I
’
d watched Barney do. Every time I spun the tires, we slid sideways a foot or two. We needed to go backwards but it wasn
’
t happening.

Little Donny looked down at his fancy tassel shoes and sighed. Then he opened the door and stepped out into the snow.

He threw his weight against the truck and I revved the engine. Over and over we tried. Finally Little Donny stood up and panted,
“
Granny, are you sure you have it in reverse?
”

I looked at the gear stick.
“
Oops,
”
I said, moving it from neutral to reverse.

A few more tries and we were out.

“
Looks like a snowplow ran around their yard,
”
Cora Mae pointed out as we swung into the road.

Little Donny ran up covered with dirty snow from the knees down.

“
Next time you better wear more practical clothes,
”
I said to him. Then I remembered that Little Donny wasn
’
t exactly a willing conspirator. I dug through the glove compartment for paper napkins and helped him wipe off his shoes. Little Donny
’
s a good boy and a great grandson. I
’
d have to think of a way to make this up to him.

We arrived at the pastie dinner as the Lionesses were beginning to clear away the food. The pasties were still out so we helped ourselves. A lot of people who aren
’
t from the U.P. don
’
t know what pasties are. Little Donny
’
s city-slick father thought they were something strippers wore on their boobs. I wanted to ask him how he knew what strippers wore, but Heather was sitting right next to him at the time, and since I
’
m the last one to make trouble in a family I kept my mouth shut.

Pasties are a staple of life in the U.P., like bread or rice, and the Lionesses make the best found anywhere. A small wad of dough is rolled out like a piecrust, only smaller, then it
’
s filled with chopped carrots, potatoes, onions, ground beef, and a little salt and pepper. Fold the crust over, crimp the side closed with a fork, and bake it for an hour or so. Of course, everyone has a secret

ingredient they add to the mix to make theirs special. The Lionesses are sworn to secrecy and not one of them has spilled the beans yet. I
’
m thinking of joining just so I can find out what they do to make theirs so good.

Little Donny stacked three on his plate and sat down with a cup of coffee at an empty table. Cora Mae and I took one each and followed him over. I noticed the long metal tables were cleared of people, everyone gathered on the opposite side of the room next to a barrel of beer.

I could see Star across the room hanging on a short stocky fellow with dark wavy hair.

“
Who
’
s that with your Aunt Star?
”
I asked Little Donny.

“
Some guy she met in Rapid River.
”

No wonder I hadn
’
t seen much of her lately. Star
’
s enjoying her freedom, but it sure took awhile. I
’
m proud of her for not jumping into a steady relationship with the first guy who paid her a little attention. A lot of women would do that, but Star
’
s taking her time.
“
He looks like a young one. How old do you think he is?
”

Little Donny shrugged his shoulders. He packed the last of the pasties in his mouth, picked up his plate, and went off in the direction of the kitchen to find more.

I saw Bill Lampi standing next to Floyd, sipping a glass of beer. He wore a proud smile like Barney used to wear when one of his kids did something special, like winning a spelling bee or scoring the winning basket in a basketball game. Only Bill smiled at the crowd of guys gathered around Barb. His smile seemed to say,
“
That
’
s mine, fellas. Pretty great stuff, hunh?
”

A lot of men wouldn
’
t like their wives getting the kind of attention Barb was getting. Maybe somewhere in Bill
’
s mind he felt lucky to have her. He probably didn
’
t do too much dating when he was growing up.

I just hoped he didn
’
t have more than he could handle.

I could hear dishes clattering in the kitchen and a swelling din from the other side of the room.

“
Little Donny must be eating his way through the kitchen,
”
I said to Cora Mae when he didn
’
t return.
“
Let
’
s go mingle. And keep your ears open.
”

We left our plates at the kitchen window and joined the crowd. The first person we saw turned out to be Kitty. She wore a housedress covered with pink flowers the size of watermelons, and I caught a glimpse of her dead-white lumpy inner thighs, although I tried hard not to. She had taken

the bobby pins out of her hair, but as usual forgot to comb it out. Tight corkscrew curls bounced on her head as she leaned into a group of women ranging in size from chubby to tubby.

I recognized them as Kitty
’
s card bunch. They got together every Friday night for rummy. Should be playing Old Maid, I thought. Not a one of them had ever been married except Pat, and that lasted only three weeks so it didn
’
t really count.

Kitty looked directly into my eyes. Then she bent over and said something to Betty, who had taken time out from busy-bodying at Chester
’
s door to see who else
’
s husband she could try to steal.

Betty gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, and the group all began to giggle and glance over at me.

“
Hi, Kitty.
”
I ambled over.
“
Hi, girls.
”

Kitty turned her head away.

I had managed to make Kitty mad at me and now I had to pay my dues as the central topic of gossip. Great.
“
I
’
m sorry about earlier. I don
’
t know what got into me,
”
I said, certain that a public apology would do the trick. I tacked on the clincher.
“
I
’
ll get you something to eat from the kitchen. Would you like that?
”

Kitty beaming face swung back.
“
I
’
m

okay. I
’
ll catch up with you in a few minutes.
”

I sighed.
“
No hurry. Take the night off. I don
’
t need a bodyguard in a crowd like this.
”

I nudged Cora Mae and nodded in Onni
’
s direction.
“
Look. There
’
s Onni Maki.
”

Cora Mae barely glanced at him.
“
I
’
ve changed my mind about Onni. He
’
s not what he appeared at first. Besides, he
’
s a murder suspect and a cheater. I
’
ve heard more stories about his cheating than I care to. Believe it or not, I have my principles. I
’
ve got bigger fish to fry.
”

Cora Mae was making love eyes at someone behind me. I turned to look and saw George talking to old Ed Lacken.

“
Good God, Cora Mae, not the undertaker.
”
Just the thought of Ed touching a living woman made me feel sick.

“
Of course not. I mean George. Isn
’
t he cute?
”

Well, doesn
’
t that beat all? Cora Mae is a living wonder, and I can hardly keep up with her. George better watch his goods, because once Cora Mae sets her sights, it
’
s usually too late to get away. I felt a twinge inside, not sure I liked this new development.

Cora Mae wrenched loose from my grip

and slithered over to him, finding her way through a clearing in the mass of people crowded around the beer. I joined her next to George.

Ed Lacken wore the same bow tie he wore for his funeral services and every hair on his head was slicked straight back. I wondered how he kept his head from sliding off the pillow at night. He ran his fingers around the bow tie as though it pinched his neck.

Cora Mae batted her eyelashes, laid a hand on George
’
s arm to get his attention, batted her eyes some more, and said,
“
I need some advice on repairing my fence. I
’
d appreciate it if you
’
d stop by tomorrow and take a look at it.
”

I couldn
’
t believe anyone could be so bold and obvious. Now we have to break Cora Mae
’
s fence.

“
Sure,
”
George said innocently.
“
I
’
ll look at it first thing in the morning. Then I
’
m heading to Gertie
’
s place to work on a few things.
”
He smiled at me and I felt my face heating up.

The sound of laughter caught our attention, and we all looked over at the gang gathered around Barb.

“
I think,
”
George said slowly,
“
Bill has a wild cat by the tail.
”

While we focused on the tight circle

around Barb, Onni Maki walked up and stood next to me, wearing the same green disco suit he
’
d worn to Chester
’
s funeral. He wasn
’
t standing there three seconds before I felt a hand on my rear end. I jumped and moved forward a step. The hand followed. Glancing over my shoulder, I couldn
’
t help noticing it was Onni
’
s hand. We looked at each other. He had a blank dumb expression on his face. I could feel his fingers spread out over one whole cheek.

I slowly opened my purse, passing up the stun gun with a pang of regret and wrapping my hand around the can of pepper spray. Then I sprayed it in Onni
’
s face.

It was a direct hit.

He blew back like he
’
d been hit full force by a tornado. When he hit the floor, he covered his face and started screaming. Boy,
that stuff really works.

I didn
’
t choose the stun gun because I didn
’
t want to cause a big scene, but with Onni screaming and the whole place turning and heading over, I might as well have. I eased the pepper spray back into my purse and edged away from the group forming around Onni, still on his back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Blaze rushing through the crowd, and I got myself tucked