Music Notes (Heartbeat #3) (2 page)

Rand took my hand and then pulled me in a tight hug and said, “Madison this is great news! You are always surprising me every moment of every day with your love, but this is
huge
! I never thought I would have all this in my lifetime. My heart is aching, but the pain is so good.”

“Rand we are going to have twins, I am going to push out TWINS!”

*     *     *

I held onto her only feeling our hearts beating, and she remained silent. To have Madison awake but speechless for any length of time was something I had never seen. The last time I recalled anything like her current state of shock was when she nervously sat in the front row of my concert in Philly less than two years ago, and the only time I really remember her being this quiet was during those awful days that she was unconscious after the accident. But now here she stands without words, with her hands folded in her lap and just a shocked looking face. I stare, memorizing this moment. This is just going to be another memory I visualize in my head forever. The sun’s rays are peeking in the window and I feel the warmth on my skin. I start to hum a tune, and I sing the words quietly and slowly with the beat in my head.

My life has gone from lost to found,

I have these three loves that have turned me around.

My life has gone from lost to found.

I look over as I am still humming this music in my head and Madison is listening to the doctor. We were both stunned by the news but in a good way. I remember that sometime around the time Madison took the second hit to her head that she had gotten off schedule on her pills. The hospital performed a pregnancy test that was negative at the time, but I guess timing is everything. I hate the reason why, but I am thrilled she got sidetracked. Although she is not showing at all in her belly, probably because she has been sick and not eating, the doctor believes she is already near twelve weeks along. I am trying to hold back the smile I can feel forming. It’s impossible though, and I think my face is in danger of cracking from the force.

I glance out of the hospital window and think back to when the band started out.
Having coffee at the 2
^nd
Street Coffee Café, waiting for the guys from the band, I stared at her lovely face. I ripped the picture out of the newspaper. I actually ripped the article out of all of the papers stacked in the corner of the café by the front door. We knew there was hype and buzz about our band and the music we were cranking out, but we didn’t know how the review would be.

I turn my attention back to this room and Madison is completely unraveled from the news. She is rubbing her belly as her lips slightly part with a trembling nervous quiver. I can see that she is very pleasantly surprised, as the thought never crossed our minds that she could be pregnant and that was the reason for her sickness. I also know now that I have to take her away even sooner than I had originally planned for a real honeymoon before that belly of hers starts to bump out.

She would be too self conscious to wear a bikini when she starts showing. I send a quick text to Maxwell—not of the news yet because we haven’t digested it ourselves—but to move quickly on booking travel for us to the most spectacular resort on St. Martin. Maxwell is the go-to-guy for all travel needs as he has done so much with coordinating our shows in all the different cities. I want to spend days with my woman in a bikini, and nights without the small triangles of colored fabric in the way.

“Rand. RAND!” Madison says, almost shouting and finally has my full attention. I got a little distracted picturing her in a bikini, stripping the bikini off of her… “I’m still so shocked by our great news, what do you need, Love?” I rebounded from my lustful thoughts of my wife. I was totally off enjoying that image of her in my head.

“Rand I have to stop out at the front desk for some instructions, and then I really think I could eat something. I have to eat for three, me and our twins,” she laughed. I wasn’t sure that there was any real humor in that laugh. I reached out and took hold of her hand. I knew I could get
that
right in the husband department. Her fingers slid into mine so comfortably. I never want to let this woman go. I am on top of the world. Here I am writing and playing the best music of my life; I have a hot, sexy, adorable wife and I have twins on the way. Life is so good at this moment, so freaking good.

As we approach the front desk, Madison is listening intently to the woman behind the desk. I’m acting like I hadn’t seen the other two young nurses whisper and then start to stare at me. I would have gone over to flirt with them back in the day, but now? Hell, I am going to be a dad. It changes so much. I will give Madison all of me and not screw it up. I won’t. I don’t have to convince myself. I know I am not like my father. I will never turn my back and walk away from my children or my wife…
never
. I will never turn to another. Madison glances at me, ready to leave and again has no idea what races through my head.

I was relieved to see her finally eat a full meal after being sick so often. Our lunch passed by with barely any serious or deep conversation. It was consumed with Madison, just like any woman, talking on and on about every little detail of basic subject matter. I just let her talk and every now and again I would nod. I met her eyes several times as I was eating my sandwich and saw her delightful eyes fixed on me. Breathless. She leaves me absolutely without air. She is exceptionally beautiful and has grown to be confident, and I have learned over this year to read her eyes so well. For now I am very happy that I don’t see them display any fear. “Love, allow me,” I say as I notice some dressing from her sandwich on her lower lip. I reach out, just skimming gently across her lips. Just as my finger wipes away the drop, she runs her tongue across the spot. At the feel of her on my skin, I feel an instant throb in my jeans.

This is the same instant attraction—sexual attraction—I had always felt for her. My mind drifts back, remembering the first time I went to meet her. Madison Tierney, the gorgeous girl who appeared in the tiny, black and white photo on front of the city’s newspaper above her weekly column.
Feeling thrilled with her recent review of our band, I had stopped off to buy her some flowers. This was so not a thing I would do. I was not the flowery type of guy. I was in a band and had to maintain that cutting edge image. But for today, her positive words about our band made me soft in my chest, but a bit hard someplace lower. With so many types of roses to choose from I had thought it would be tough to pick, but my eyes were instantly drawn to one kind. They had dark pink edges, and actually looked different from the standard solid colors. Believe me, I had no idea what any color meant although I am sure women know. They probably memorize the meaning of every color of the rainbow. I thought these would be right for her, and I didn’t even know her. I did know red would be way over the top.

As I entered the newspaper office and it was busy as ever. I was stared at from head to toe. Standing there in my ripped jeans and tight black tee shirt, I probably looked a bit out of place for this office full of suits. Today though I was feeling pretty good, and knew it was going to be a great day.
I thought of this moment in my head for a long time.
Finally I put my charming smile on my face and asked the receptionist if Madison was available. Unfortunately, I was shot down immediately as she informed me that Madison had just left for lunch with her
HUSBAND
. I hadn’t even had that thought enter my mind. Why wouldn’t she be married though? She was beautiful, but I had thought that I could just walk into her life and be welcomed. What the Hell was I thinking? I may be a lead vocalist and have many girls screaming and following me but the one I wanted to meet doesn’t even know I exist.

I left the office building feeling so low. The wind was sucked out of me. I approached a bench across the sidewalk and stuffed the flowers, petals first, into the trash can beside me. I sat there reflective, happy for the band, but miserable with life. I would never meet her. Stuck in my head now was the fact that she was
married
. I sat there with my hands to my head. I think I actually may have shed a tear. My mom had just sent me a text that she got bad results from her doctor on one of her tests. This was strike two for the day.

I don’t know how long I sat on that bench, but it was long enough that I may have had an indent across my flesh from the wooden slats. I had no place to be, so I just sat there. Then I saw her coming, walking side by side with her husband. He was totally “business man” from his shoes to his tight, perfectly knotted blue tie lying against a yellow shirt. I couldn’t look at him anymore. It was Madison that captured my attention. The bounce in her step, her skirt that slightly lifted up in today’s breeze. I wanted to grab her hand, and pull her on to my lap on the bench hiking her skirt up. I was thinking that exact thought as they passed in front of me.

At first, my head was down but then I raised it to mentally greet her, and I caught her eyes. I did. I looked right dead on into her attractive eyes. She glanced down at first like she was shy, and then looked over to me and I saw the tiny smile start to form on her lips. She looked away a second and bit on the corner of her lip before looking yet again at me. I had to turn to see if it was, in fact, me she was smiling nervously at and not something or someone behind me. But it was me and I think I froze at that moment.

I am pulled out of my memory and there is Madison seated across from me scowling. Maybe she was talking to me while I got lost in my thoughts. “Love, I’m sorry. I checked out a moment in my head. This is crazy right? We are going to be parents of twins!” That got a soft smile out of her.

“Yes we are, it’s pretty amazing, and I couldn’t write a better story than what we have,” she said and her eyes got shiny. I didn’t have a response for her because what she just said summed it up. I was on the edge of losing my shit and crying right there in the restaurant, and well most of us men don’t show our feelings like that. She was still looking at me and started to get up from her chair, “Well, I know my belly is full now, so can we head home?” I left the money on the bill that arrived, realizing that I never even saw the waitress stop back at our table. I folded my fingers into my wife’s hand and tilted my head in her hair on her shoulder to shed to few tears that I couldn’t hold in any longer, and I let her lead the way.

As soon as we were seated to drive home, my phone rang and it was Maxwell. He knew we had finally gotten an appointment today for Madison and he had been very concerned about her. I had silenced my phone while we were in the hospital and never turned it back on until moments ago. With Maxwell live on the line I noticed all the missed messages too, probably from him. “Hey Maxwell, what’s up?” I tried to be calm even with the news of us having babies on the tip of my tongue.

“So what’s the news with Madison, is she going to be okay?” he asked.

“Well…” was all that I got out as Madison grabbed the phone. Apparently she couldn’t keep it from Maxwell. Whether it was because she couldn’t keep the news quiet or she didn’t want him worrying anymore she shouted, “
Maxwell we are going to have TWINS!
You are going to be a granddad, not an uncle. You are so much more like a father to us both. Wow, it feels so good to shout this out loud,” she continued. “It feels so real now.” I think she left Maxwell speechless, but when I got the phone back to my ear I may have heard him sniffling. What a softy.

“Anyway Maxwell, this is a shock, and well—a great one. We haven’t told anyone but you, so please keep a lid on it and we’ll tell everyone else later.” He finally replied that he was thrilled, and that he would do his best to keep it under wraps. That wasn’t the same as his word, so I’m sure the secret would be out…

Chapter Two – Today or Yesterday

Lately, I am not sure if I am coming or going—in the present or the past. I’m sitting in the barn playing with some chords, and I hear the splattering of the raindrops falling against the glass. As I look around,
The Wall
catches my eye. I see that pile of pictures that Madison is meaning to cover it with; everything from the wedding to the clippings about the buzz on my solo album. I remember this place when we first had it built. All of us in the band thought we were the coolest. Girls were all over us in here and outside too, hell anyplace we went.