Authors: Daire St. Denis
Jordan laughed and said, “Okay, on two conditions.”
Sass was feeling light-headed when she looked up at him. “I’m not posing nude.”
His grin was ear to ear. “I didn’t ask you to pose nude…yet.”
Sass punched him, but she smiled, too.
“Hey!”
“It’s your own fault, jackass. You should never have taught me to box because I have no problem using my new skills against you.”
…
Later, as Sass sat across from Jordan eating another dinner he’d prepared, she said, “You know, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble. They make perfectly good spaghetti sauce that comes right out of the jar.”
Jordan shook his head and grinned. “Fresh is best.”
Sass took another bite, enjoying the full flavors. “Okay, what the hell is this?”
“That’s eggplant.”
“Sounds disgusting.”
“How does it taste?”
“Good, but it looks disgusting, too. That’s two strikes against—only one for.” She chewed thoughtfully and then said, “So, you know how to box.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Cook.”
“Yep.”
Sass took in the cabin. Nothing was out of place, but the place seemed different. It smelled different too. “You clean.”
“Right.”
“And you draw?”
“You got it.”
“What did you do? Go to some finishing school for hoodlums?”
Jordan laughed and wiped his mouth with a paper towel. “No. Basically I had no choice about any of those things.”
“Care to explain?”
“The boxing part? My two older brothers started and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t make it past my tenth birthday.”
Brothers. She shoveled spaghetti into her mouth. What would that have been like? “How about the cooking and cleaning?” she asked once she swallowed.
“That was my mother’s doing. She vowed after having me—the third strapping boy—that she wasn’t going to raise a bunch of Neanderthals. If women could hold down a job
and
cook
and
clean
and
look after the family, so could men.” He shrugged and topped up her wine. “So, we all took turns in the kitchen and we all had our domestic chores.”
“What about the drawing?”
Jordan set down his fork and knife and stared off into space. “Now, that’s something I
really
have no choice over. I’ve been drawing since I was a little kid. It’s so much a part of me, a compulsion that I can’t control. Not that I want to.”
She got that. It was the same with her and cars. Unlike other young girls who tacked posters of teen idols on their walls, Sass had pinned up posters of ’66 Pontiac GTOs, of ’65 Ford Thunderbirds, and ’Vettes. Lots and lots of Corvettes. Everything from the early sixties to the eighties. Yes, she understood Jordan’s fascination with drawing. “That’s cool.”
Jordan sighed. “I wish my family thought so.”
Sass stopped eating to frown at him. “They must see how good you are.”
Jordan’s face grew somber. “No. My family thinks I’m a screwup.”
“You!” Sass laughed. “Man, if they want to meet a screwup, you should introduce them to me.”
Jordan looked at her funny and Sass realized she must have committed some dating faux pas, inviting herself to meet his family. Not that this was a date. It definitely wasn’t. “I’m just joking around.”
“I know.”
For some reason the mood turned awkward. Sass hated awkward. She took a sip of wine and said, “So, why do you care what they think.”
“I guess I want their approval. Stupid, huh?”
Sass considered his words. “No, it’s not stupid. I understand what that’s like. I basically grew up at the shop. Lots of people have ideas about where a girl should and shouldn’t hang out and an auto-body shop is not considered to be the best place for a girl.”
“What do you do about it?”
Sass shrugged and gulped some wine. “I guess I do my best to prove them wrong.” She smiled.
Jordan laughed. “No kidding.”
Sass grinned in return. “So, big-shot, why don’t you stop trying to impress people and pursue the thing you love?”
“I wish it were that easy.”
Sass speared the last of the disgusting, yet tasty, eggplant on her plate. “You know, you should just take some of your drawings in to a shop somewhere. I bet you could find a mechanic interested in building one of your cars.”
“I tried that at Carlyle’s. They didn’t bite.”
“They’re not the only shop on the block. Talk to someone else. I can talk to Buck if you like.”
He glanced away.
Dammit! She’d done it again. She was moving too fast. Not unusual while driving or during sex, but totally atypical for her when it came to any kind of relationship. “Anyway, you’re a really good artist and
I’d
totally build one of your cars.”
“
You’d
build one of my cars?” He chuckled wryly.
If Jordan had been any other guy, she would have cuffed him for thinking she wasn’t capable. But for some reason, Sass felt shy about what she did at the shop. “I’ve been around, I know how things work.”
“That’s what I thought, too. And then I started a fire because I thought I knew how to use a MIG welder…” His words trailed off as he suddenly focused on his food instead.
“You started a fire with a MIG?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah.”
“Is this one of the fuckups?”
“Yep.”
“Was it bad?”
“Worst one yet.”
Sass couldn’t help it, she laughed despite Jordan’s obvious discomfort.
“It’s not funny. I’m still dealing with the insurance company.”
“I’m sorry.” She tried to eat but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t keep the laughter inside. When she glanced up, Jordan was smiling too. “Is it wrong of me to be relieved that you’re not perfect?”
He wrinkled his nose. “What?”
“It’s just…” She waved her fork in his general direction. “You seem to have it all together. You’re more appealing when I know you’ve got a few faults.”
She caught sight of his dimple as he shook his head. “You definitely got the faults part right.”
Silence stretched between them but this time it felt less awkward. Sass sat there eating and thinking about what it would be like to live with a family who had certain expectations that just couldn’t be met. She supposed it would have been hard but…a sudden image of growing up with a houseful of people, brothers or sisters, and…a mother. What would that have been like? Would she be a different person?
“So, what about you?” Jordan asked, breaking into her reverie of a loud, boisterous household. “Libby mentioned something about you, that you are doing what you love.”
“Yeah.” She set her fork down at stared out the big window toward the lake. “The shop. It’s been in my family for three decades. I’ve grown up there. I love it. I’ll run it when Buck retires.”
It was weird to say it out loud. It was obvious. Inevitable. But Sass had never given voice to her desire to run Hogan’s. Now that it was out there, she felt kind of vulnerable. She glanced at Jordan to find him blinking rapidly at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.” He stood up. “Do you want more?”
“I’m good.”
She watched as Jordan filled the sink to wash. She took a sip of wine and let it trickle slowly down her throat. As much as she was trying to convince herself this wasn’t a date, Sass was pretty sure that’s exactly what it was, with all the talking and sharing of personal stuff.
It was…nice.
Raising her tumbler, she said, “This wine is pretty good, you know.” She took in her empty plate. The food was good too, and the conversation and pretty much everything else, including Jordan. So, why did she feel so unhinged and restless? Maybe she needed another go at the punching bag.
She downed another half glass of wine, pushed her plate away, and said, “Okay, Michaels, let’s get this posing thing over with.”
Jordan took her outside where the sun was just beginning to hover above the horizon. After starting a fire in the chiminea, he had her lean up against the rail of the deck while he sat on the wide ledge in order to get a three-quarter profile. The whole thing made Sass feel ridiculously exposed, even though she was completely clothed.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Just stand there.”
Sass tried but all she could think about was Jordan’s bare chest glistening with the sweat of his workout. Then she remembered the tattoo on his shoulder. The one that had made her trip down the stairs. “What’s that tattoo you have?”
“Huh?”
“The one on your shoulder. It looks like a couple of tadpoles spooning.”
With a low chuckle, Jordan said, “It’s a yin yang .”
“A what?”
“A Chinese symbol for the duality of nature.”
“Why’d you choose that?”
“I love its simplicity and the meaning behind it.”
“What’s the meaning?”
“Everything exists as a relationship of opposites. Good and evil, dark and light. It’s a reminder that things like happiness can’t exist without sadness. Joy without sorrow.”
“War and peace? Men and women?”
“Yeah. Truth and lies.”
Sass glanced at City-boy because he’d said the last thing so quietly she could hardly hear him. “How long is this going to take?”
“As long as it takes. Longer, if you keep talking.”
She turned to gaze out at the water, hoping he hurried up. More than once she fought the urge to talk in order to smooth out the silence because there was something about the sound of his pencil scratching over the paper that was making her feel like her gut was on a slow boil.
What part of her was he sketching now? Was it her spine? Because she could practically feel the lead moving up and down the length of her, like the tip of the pencil was his fingers flowing up and down, tracing, shading, caressing…
“Sass? Can you think about something else?”
“Huh? What’s wrong?”
“Your leg is bouncing up and down and it’s making your whole body vibrate. Not easy to capture on paper.” He jumped down off the ledge and repositioned her, having her rest her chin in her hand and her other arm lie flat on top of the rail. “There. Hold that.”
Sass sighed. Crap. It was hard to hold still. Sex was on her brain. Had been ever since…ever since…since when? Since City-boy came to town, that’s when. But, he was right. She had to stop thinking about sex, particularly sex with Jordan. It wasn’t healthy. Refraining from the topic was a good exercise in mind over matter. She was strong. She could control her body.
So, instead of sex, Sass thought about Jordan’s sketches. She purposefully focused on the cars, thinking about what they’d look like if someone built them, how she’d put them together. However, her uncooperative mind didn’t feel like going there. As if she sifted through the pages again, her mind flipped to another page, to the portrait of the girl Jordan claimed was her. What would it be like to be that girl?
If there was one thing Sass could see in the girl’s expression, it was that she knew what she wanted. Maybe she’d even be Jordan’s girlfriend and she would have no qualms about staying the night in Jordan’s bed. In fact, she’d probably like it. Then, one day, she might even want to do it every day and she and Jordan would move in together. After a couple of years of waking up together and eating together and going places together, they might decide to go one step further. They’d go down to the city offices and get a license, making everything legal. After that, maybe kids would factor into the picture. The girl in the drawing knew about kids. She wanted to be a mother. Jordan? Jordan would be a great father. He’d teach the kids to draw and fight and cook and imaginary Sass would show them how to fix the car and teach them to drive. They’d go on family holidays and all eat together at a big dining room table and…
“Hey, Sass? Where’d you go?”
“Huh?”
“You were off in Never-never land.”
She frowned and shook her head to clear it. “You done?”
“Yep. Want to see?”
There was a part of her that didn’t, but her curiosity got the better of her. She just wished Jordan didn’t have to stand so close to her as she inspected his work.
And then, holy crap, there she was, “imaginary Sass,” all over again. This time she was leaning against the rail just as she’d been. Jordan had captured a faraway look in her eyes and a very slight smile around her lips. She was stunning and intriguing and totally someone else. “This isn’t me,” she whispered.
Instead of responding, Jordan moved closer and caressed the nape of her neck, tugging on the loose collar of her T-shirt in order to expose her shoulder. He bent down and kissed her bare skin and Sass melted. He turned her in his arms and gently tilted her head back, his lips exploring the contours of her neck and collarbones. Gripping the flimsy material of her shirt he deftly pulled it up and over her head.
“You are so beautiful,” his words caressed her ear just before his tongue did, his hand slipping around her back, the other finding her chest. This time his fingers were gentle when he rubbed his thumb across her nipples. So gentle, it made Sass moan and Jordan’s lips were on hers in a flash, as if he wanted to swallow her cries.
Normally, a kiss like that would have had Sass stepping on the gas, accelerating so that clothes were flying, hands fumbling and private parts straining toward one another for release. But not tonight. Tonight she let him kiss her slowly, his tongue discovering her mouth like they’d just met, inquisitive and gentle. With equal curiosity, she slid her hands up under Jordan’s T-shirt and swept them across his abs and pecs. He took a step back and lifted his shirt over his head, tossing it onto a deck chair.
Ho-lee hell. The man was built like a UFC prizefighter.
Sass swallowed.
“Do you want to take this inside?”
She shook her head and stepped into his arms, pressing her bare chest against his. His hands spanned her back, holding her to him.
“God, I love your tits. Have I told you that?”
Shaking her head, Sass arched back so that he could watch her. She cupped herself, twirling her tiny nipples with her thumbs. At the sight of Jordan’s rapt gaze and slow smile, a surge of power made her bold, pinching harder for his benefit. He groaned and lifted her up onto the rail’s ledge. Her chest was at the perfect height now and his mouth and lips closed around one small nub.