My Addiction: Second Chances Series (4 page)

I shook my head and rose out of the booth. “Uh, no, you’re not doing that. I can pay my own tab.”

She smiled. “I’m sure you can, Dr. Mills, hot shot cardio surgeon, but, to be honest, your warden will probably not let you come out with me, so this is my way of treating you to dinner.”

“Unt uh, Ana, you’re not getting off that easy. I’m not considering this a substitute for dinner, even if I let you treat me.”

She laughed. “You know for a fact your jailer will not let you out with me.”

“You got that shit right!”

I looked past her and found my brother coming up to us. The nerves that instantly overcame Ayana weren’t hard to miss, and I knew my brother caught it too. Ayana backed up from us both and tried to place a smile on her face. “Detective Mills,” she acknowledged.

My brother nodded in her direction, “Peters.”

I reached into my pocket, pulled out my wallet, and handed her one of my cards. “Give me a call and we can discuss you treating me to dinner.”

She hesitated a bit before she took my card. She looked at it and took a deep breath. Her eyes then moved from my brother to me. “Okay, I’ll give you a call. Again, dinner and drinks are on me tonight, I won’t take no for an answer.”

“You know I’m not saying no,” my brother barked and sat down.

I smiled at her. “Thanks, Ayana, and it has really been good seeing you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” she replied, then walked away.

When she got clear, I sat down. “I don’t have to tell you to stay away from her, right?” my brother warned me. “I mean, you can tell something’s not right with her.”

I shook my head and raised my hand for the cute blonde to come to the table. “Hello to you too, Lock.”

The anxiety started to take over, and I couldn’t get away from him fast enough. My breathing started to become erratic as I moved past the bar to the back. Franks tried to say something to me, but I put my hand up to stop him. I couldn’t deal with his shit right now. I needed to get myself together.

The moment I made it to the back, I slammed the door shut, threw my back against it, and took a few deep breaths. I didn’t know why I thought I could go through the rest of my life without seeing Braddock Mills. I mean, my life sucked, so I should have known it was going to happen. Don’t get me wrong; I wanted to see him. I just wanted to have my shit together first.

But, God, he looked so good. I brought my shirt up to my nose and inhaled his scent. He always smelled scrumptious to me. Even when we were in middle school, I thought he was the best-looking guy in the whole school. I didn’t care that he was tall, lanky and pale. I didn’t care if he wore glasses and had braces. I didn’t care that he used to get picked on. He was my best friend, my lifeline.

We hung out together all the time. I remember the very first time I brought him to my house. The name Brad wasn’t foreign to my mother because I talked about him a lot. When we entered the house to play video games, I introduced him as my best friend. My mom didn’t trust anyone, so, when she looked at Brad, I could tell her trigger finger was itching. But she merely looked up from the veggies she was cutting, eyed him up and down, then commented, “You’re welcome in my home, and you can have supper with us anytime you wish.”

Brad smiled humbly and said, “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

Just to tell you a little bit about my mom; she was my idol. She was no joke and no one to trifle with. She worked her butt off, sometimes working two or three jobs just to keep my brother and me away from the bad shit our old neighborhood brought. Where we lived wasn’t the greatest at the time, but it was better than where we came from.

She instilled in my brother and me to look out for each other no matter what. All you sometimes had was family, and to her sometimes that was all you needed. My mom was shorter than me, standing at 5 feet, but she had a lot of attitude. She carried her gun on her at all times, especially around our old neighborhood. She would pull it whenever she needed and, believe me, she needed it more times than not. She also had no problem using it. She had pulled the trigger to protect us from those who tried to steal her car, our TV, and any male who thought it was okay to touch her kids.

She pointed her knife at Bradley. “But if you fuck up in any way or cause harm to my daughter, I will filet your nuts and feed them to my Rottweiler.”

“Mom, we don’t have a Rottweiler.”

“Yeah, well, the neighbor down the street does, so I’m sure he would let me use him.”

To Brad’s credit, he placed his hands up, palms facing my mom and gave her his biggest smile.

“No problem, Ms. Peters. I wouldn’t dream of hurting Ayana in any way or let any harm come to her.”

I watched as my mom suppressed a smile and nodded. “You make sure you do that and you and I will be fine.”

Brad and my mom became more than fine after that day. He was invited over all the time to have dinner with us, play video games and hang out with me. My mom loved her some Brad, and she just knew that he and I would end up together.

Just before I lost my mom four years ago, she told me not to give up. She said Brad would eventually realize what he had in me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her how much I messed up and that Brad would never see me like that again.

I took a few deep breaths and headed for the desk and the paperwork I was working on before I discovered Franks’ blunder. I’ve tried to make this office a piece of me. I even brought in plants and pictures to hang on the wall, so it could feel more like home. But no matter what I did, the dismal, dark ambiance this room gave off won the battle. The walls were dirty and needed like five coats of paint. The floors had grime that, no matter how many times I had cleaned it, wouldn’t shine anymore.

Despite the look and feel of the office, I enjoyed what I did. Galvin ‘Ice’ McGinley, the owner of the bar, brought me on as his bookkeeper, and someone to keep bills together, but it’s more than that. He trusted me to make sure everything, book-wise, was running smoothly.

I heard the office door open, but I didn’t lift my eyes. Once the loud cologne hit me, I knew it was him instantly—Ramone Allen.

“Who was the stiff you were talking to?” he asked me.

Without looking up, I said simply, “No one.”

He grunted and sat down in a chair in front of the desk. “Yeah, you better keep it that way. Understand?”

Finally, I looked up at him. “I know what I need to do. You don’t have to remind me, nor do you have to come here all the time, Allen.” I refused to call him by his first name.

My unwanted visitor plopped his shoes on the desk causing me to lean back. “I kind of like it here though. Slumming seems to fit me. Besides, I get the opportunity to keep an eye on you.”

The look in his eyes caused me to gag… literally. I rolled my eyes and tried not to think about the huge migraine I was about to get because of this douche and his cologne. Let me point out right now that the man wasn’t attractive at all. He looked pasty, and, I swear, he looked like he smelled everywhere. That’s probably why he wore so much cologne. His brown hair was long and stringy, and he kept it slicked back. I’d been wondering for a while now what women saw in him as I’d witnessed a few practically fight to get his attention. I shivered thinking of his hands on me.

Allen laughed and brought his feet back to the floor. A look came over him as his eyes roamed over me. He leaned over the desk and licked his thin pink lips. “Sweetheart, you don’t know what you’re missing and now that I know you go for white guys, I’m definitely gonna keep that in mind.” He smiled again and stood, repositioning, I guess, the hard on he had in his pants.

Yuck.

“Make sure you keep your eyes on the prize. Understand? I don’t think I have to tell you what’s at stake,” he said, bringing me back to his eyes. I remained quiet as he continued to stare at me. A shiver raked over me as he licked his lips again before left the office.

I counted to ten, then went quickly to the office door to let some air inside the cramped space. His cologne seriously reeked of some cheap ass stuff that he bathed in before he left his hotel. I hated Ramone Allen. He was the scum of the earth, the bottom of the barrel when it came to humans. The way he looked at me makes my skin crawl, but I had no choice but to work with him. Soon, however, I wouldn’t have to, and maybe I could get my life back.

When I opened the door, Lockhart Mills, Brad’s brother, was standing in the doorway. I jumped at the sight of him, then backed slowly away.
This son of a bitch scares the shit out of me.
He always had. He also hated me back in the day, for putting his brother through some shit, and I really didn’t blame him. But as it seemed throughout the years, he hadn’t lost that hatred. I could see it in his eyes, as he looked me up and down, disdain evident on his face.

“Stay away from my brother, Peters.”

I leaned on the door to keep from passing out. He made me nervous in general, but now my nerves have escalated to extreme levels. “Why do you hate me so much, Detective?”

“You’re not to be trusted, and I know for a fact you’re into some shit.”

My brows furrowed, and I looked frantically behind him, hoping no one else was around.
How could he know
?

He nodded his head. “Yeah, trying to figure out how I know, aren’t you? Understand I will be watching you like a fucking hawk; you and that shit low life brother of yours. It always comes down to that and him. No matter what he’s into, he drags you down with him. But I refuse to let you drag my brother down with you again.”

Lock pointed his finger down into my face. “If you get my brother wrapped up into your shit, I swear to God, I’ll figure out a way to bring you and your brother down. Do you understand me? Just like you, I’ll protect my family at any costs.” With his threat sowed, he left me standing there.

I forgot all about the offensive cologne smell as I closed the office door. I did not intend to see Brad after tonight, and even though the temptation was strong, I knew it was too dangerous. Lock was right; what I was into was very dangerous, and I would never get Brad mixed up in it.

My situation wasn’t just messed up; it was pretty much fucked up, excuse the French.

The rest of the night, I stayed my butt in the office. I was afraid to run into Lock, Ramone or Brad. Once I was done with my paperwork, I climbed into my Ford Focus and made my way home. I lived in Carrollton, the northern part of Dallas, in a questionable apartment complex. The actual apartment building that I lived in was close to the entrance of the complex, which was great. I didn’t run into people I had no business being around, and I was able to escape very quickly if I needed to as well. I lived on the second floor of my building, so I also didn’t have to worry about anyone breaking into my place either, not that I had much for anyone to steal.

As I walked inside, I started peeling out of my clothes. I ran a bath and poured some lavender soap to help soothe my anxiety from earlier. I grabbed the wine from my fridge, uncorked it and took it to the head.

Today was stressful and tonight would be even worse. I needed to try to soak away the memories I had and prepare for the memories I would undoubtedly get tonight. I brought my IPOD docking station into the bathroom and played some Sade as I submerged my body into scorching hot water. As I got comfortable, my mind drifted back to my Bradley. He hated when anyone called him Bradley. He hated Braddock, which is his full name, even more. But he never complained when I did it. It was my name for him and in turn, he called me Ana, which hardly anyone else does.

Our friends and family never understood our relationship growing up. We hung out all the time when we were kids, told each other everything, but we never dated. We had gone to high school for two years together before his mom found another man to marry. Then they were off and lived in an area that screamed money. Bradley’s new step-dad used his money to win him over, and Bradley took it. When he turned sixteen, Bradley got a black Yukon truck with leather seats, fully loaded, with rims and a sound system that definitely let you know he was in the neighborhood.

Despite the move, he and I remained the best of friends, but way deep down, in the pits of my soul, I was in love with Braddock Mills.

Let me clarify here… Back then I was so head over heels in love with him that it was sickening. I would sometimes think about how it would feel to have his arm around me lovingly and not just as a friend. I wanted him to look at me the way he looked at his girlfriends. I wanted him to want me, but he never did. I think he only thought of me as just a home girl, that buddy that you could play basketball with, talk sports with and drink beer with.

I thought at one time if he saw there was more to me than that, maybe he would think of me differently. On my prom night, Brad said he wanted to see me before I left the house. I thought, finally, here was my chance to get him to see me as more than a gal pal. But when he laid his eyes on me, there was nothing in them. He took pictures with me for my mom, and when my date, my boyfriend, Donnell, came to the house, Bradley and Terrence became my big brothers. They threatened Donnell before we left, telling him to treat me with respect or they would “ice” him.

Donnell, to his credit, kept a straight face. Donnell was probably packing heat right then and there, but he never showed it. He just told them and my mom not to worry and that he would take good care of me. As we drove away, I looked back and saw Bradley just standing there watching the limo drive away with a look on his face I couldn’t quite read. The look saw on his face didn’t say “Stay with me, Ana,” so I guess it didn’t matter.

Through high school, I just admired him from afar. When he went off to UCLA, I was heartbroken. We wrote as much as we could while he was away. He barely came home, and when he did, for some reason, we would miss each other, so I lost all hope that anything would happen between us. So, I just became the best “
friend”
he could ever have. Whenever he was stressed or had a huge test, he would call me saying he just needed to hear my voice. We would talk for hours about nothing really, but it seemed to relax him, so I just went with it. I wanted to be there for him in any way that I could, so I took advantage of opportunities when I could. I didn’t think it would be this way for long. He was hot, and I was sure he had grown out of his awkwardness, so I knew it was a matter of time before he met someone and fell in love.

Medical school came around, and he decided to stay at UCLA for their medical school program. I just knew he had fallen for someone named Muffy and they already had a little dog named Princess. Therefore, I never asked him if he was seeing anyone for fear it would destroy me. Come to think of it, he never asked me either.

We remained friends though. No matter what was going on in our lives, we stayed connected with each other through emails and phone calls. Things changed for us during the summer after his second year of medical school. He and his friends were heading to Miami for a week in May, and he wanted me to come. I, of course, said no. I was working two jobs at the time, trying to get myself into college. I couldn’t afford to make the trip, but my Bradley decided he’d buy the tickets anyway so I could come. Things actually worked out, and I managed to take the days off and still keep my job.