My Blue Eyes (15 page)

     Dad rented a van so I could take practically everything I had to my name.  He knew I was going to be busy, and wanted me to have everything handy.  I would be rooming with Matt, so I didn't think he would mind if most of my things occupied the room.  
     Matt was planning on coming down two weeks before classes started.  This would put him there around the first week of August.   He said for me to break in the place before he got there.  I didn't know how much “breaking in” I would be doing.  Summer practice for incoming scholarship players was starting the day after I arrived.
     The drive down to Tuscaloosa took about fourteen hours.  We left at midnight with the anticipation of arriving at noon.  We should have made it in twelve hours, but Troy made my dad stop every hour so he could piss.  Why he talked Troy into going, I will never know.  You would think when you know you are going to be driving far away, you would avoid getting drunk the night before.  Apparently, he had a wedding reception to go to and God forbid you don’t drink at one.  It did make the drive a little more enjoyable though.

     The closer we got to Tuscaloosa, the more nervous I was.  I had never been far from home, so the anticipation of being alone was frightening.  I was hoping for some encouraging words from Dad and Troy, but they didn't provide any.  Actually, Dad said something that caught me completely off guard.
     He said, “Darrel, I don’t want you coming home for any of the holidays.  You stay put down here.”
     “Why?” I asked confusingly.
     He looked at me and pressed his lips firmly together before speaking, “I don’t want you to have any distractions.  This is your new home.  Live it up to the fullest.  You are the only one of my kids to go to college, and by God, you’re going to finish school here.”
     I shook my head, “What if I hate it?”
     “It doesn't matter Darrel,” he said.  “This is where you chose to go, so you make it work.  Hopefully, I can get some time off work to come visit you during the holidays.”
     I was feeling a little perplexed as I looked at Troy, “What the hell is this all about?”
     Troy spoke up, “Darrel, you know Dad can’t afford to fly you back, and hell, I’m not making this trip again.”
     “What if Matt’s dad comes to get him?  Can’t I come back then?” I asked with a touch of whininess in my voice.
     Dad paused for a moment, “Darrel, just do this for me please.  I know it doesn't make any sense to you right now, but it will.  Just promise me you will stay focused down here.”
     I didn't reply.  I didn't need to.  It wasn't going to matter if I said anything else.  Troy would tell me years later that Dad was worried if once I came home, I wouldn't want to go back.  He said it was because I was too much of a mama’s boy.  He was right.  If I would have come back for Thanksgiving break, I would have never returned.  I hated my first semester of college.  Everything was too big for me.  Practice was much more intense and staying focused was difficult.  Most of my professors could have cared less if I attended class.  It was hard having so much freedom.  There were parties practically every night and getting drunk on school nights were the norm.  The girls were all pretty and always willing to give you everything you needed.  I can count on one hand the amount of tests I took where I wasn't hung over.  It was crazy.  I longed for the structure of home.  Where there was always someone telling me exactly what I needed to do.  Someone who could set my shit straight whenever I started getting out of control.  I think I got drunk every night just to make the time go by quicker.  Matt loved it here.  If it wasn't for him, I am certain I would have bought a one way ticket on a Greyhound Bus back home.  He had an easier time making friends than I did.  And, eventually his friends would become my friends.  We were tight, and would remain tight through it all.
 
     We finally arrived at our destination.  I checked in and did all the necessary paperwork.  It took a couple of hours, but Dad and Troy stayed there through it all.  When it was finally time to unload the van, I started to chicken out.
     “I don’t want to go here Dad,” I said.  “Can’t I just go back home and go to the same Junior College as Mark?  I can’t stay here.  I don’t know anyone. I don’t have any friends here and you guys are too far away.”
     “Come on Darrel,” Troy said.  “Matt will be down here in less than a month.  You will make new friends.  It’s college little brother!”
     I backed away from them, “I don’t care.  I don’t need any new friends.  I have plenty of friends back home.  Maybe I will just go to school where Mary is.”
     Dad came towards me and placed a hand on both shoulders, “Darrel, listen to me.  This is where you belong.  This is where you are meant to be.  Sure, Mom never wanted you going this far, but before she passed, she was at peace with it.  You’re going to be lonely, but I can guarantee that once it is all said and done, these will be the best years of your life.”
     I shook my head, “Everything inside of me right now is telling me not to stay here.  Come on Dad, please!”
     Dad left my side and motioned for Troy to start unpacking the van.  “Darrel, you need to get your butt over here and start helping.”
     I begrudgingly headed over to the van and grabbed some things and led them to my dorm room.  By the time we were done unpacking, I had most of the room filled with my things.  They stuck around for a few more hours, and then it was time for them to leave.  It was hard for me.  I wished they would have stayed in a hotel or something, instead of driving back the same day.
     I watched them leave as I stood by the window of my tenth floor room.  They both stopped and waved as they got in the van.  Little did I know, this would be the last time I saw my Dad alive.
     He would die six months to the date of when my mom died.  I guessed he finally got what he had been asking God for all this time.  I will never forget the phone call I received from Troy when he told me.  I wasn't shocked.  None of us really were.  I would have enjoyed spending some years with my dad after I graduated.  He would never see me play for the school I would come to love.

     He made me promise not to come home until I graduated.  Unfortunately, I couldn't keep that promise.  I came back for three days to go over the same routine we had for Mom.  There were nearly as many people there for my dad as there was for my mom’s.  One person was missing though.  Mary never made an appearance.  It was probably better that way.
     Dad’s funeral wasn't nearly as depressing as Mom’s.  He looked peaceful as he lied there in his casket.  Whoever dressed him got everything right.  My dad was a really handsome man and would be dearly missed.  I think we all got a little comfort knowing Dad was where he wanted to be.  Up in heaven with Mom.  Now they both could keep a watchful eye on us all from a million miles away.
Chapter 37

     
My second semester of my freshman year went a hell of a lot better than the first.  I was still depressed about losing my parents, but I think being hundreds of miles away helped.  Matt wouldn't let me mope around all day.  If we weren't practicing or lifting weights, we were partying.  There really wasn't a lot of studying going on.  I barely passed all my classes the first semester and the second went the same way.  If it wasn't for Troy attempting to keep me focused, who knows what would have happened.  He tried to call me practically every night.  Most of the time I was gone, so he would just leave a message.  It was the same message every time.  
“Hey little brother, it’s Troy.  Just checking in on you and making sure you are keeping your shit together.  Call me when you get a chance.”  
No matter how late it was, I would call him back.  He didn't fuss about it much.  He had accepted whatever parenting roll was required of him for me.  He loved me more than brother.  It was everything I needed to stay strong.

     He made it a point to come down to visit at least once a semester.  He would bring Sharon and all his kids.  It was always nice, and reminded me of home.  Once my parents passed, the relationship with my other siblings became more and more distant.  Even for Troy.  Before Dad died, he had drafted a will.  He split all of his possessions, retirement and savings between us seven kids.  The house would become the breaking point of me and Troy’s relationship with them. 
     Since Troy was the head of the family, he wanted the house to belong to me, so I would always have a place to come home to.  My other siblings eventually agreed to it, with one stipulation.  If and when I ever moved back, I was required to take out a mortgage on the house and pay the five of them back.  Troy wanted no part of it.  The house was appraised for ninety-two thousand dollars.  Divide this between seven and I would owe each one of my siblings, besides Troy, thirteen thousand one hundred and forty-two dollars and some change.  And, if I didn't move back, the house would be sold and divided accordingly.  I’m sure my mom would have drafted a different will.  She would have known ahead of time what would cause turmoil between her children.  I’m positive she was in heaven 
“pissing vinegar,” 
as my dad would always say.  I told Troy to sell the house, but he insisted on the arrangement.  It was a shame he was the only one of my siblings who took care of the house.  There wasn't much left in the house once they got a hold of the things.  It sucked because my parents didn't raise us this way. 
     
     Baseball was so intense and so much harder than I was used to.  In high school, you would be lucky if you ran into someone throwing harder than eighty miles per hour.  Every team we faced had someone throwing close to ninety.  I didn't adjust well during fall ball, so I made it a point to work on my bat speed. 
     There was this little exercise I invented when I was younger.  I think it was the reason I had plus bat speed in high school.  I would take a new tennis ball, and with a wooden bat, I would see how many times I could bounce it on the ground without messing up.  There were two things this did.  It built up the muscles in my wrist and forearms and also improved my hand and eye coordination.  Going into the spring semester, I made it a point to do this every day, for an hour at a time.  I used the heaviest bat I could find and would do it until my forearms burned and I couldn't take it anymore.
     Everyone on the team thought I was crazy.  I couldn't tell you the amount of people who said it wouldn't make a difference.  Well it did.  During our fall season I hit a whopping .220 with no home runs and several strike outs.  Too many to mention.  In the spring, I hit .372 with eight home runs and a handful of strikeouts.  I had also supplanted the senior shortstop, who unwillingly was forced to move to third.  He would still get drafted, so all ended well.  There was a lot of talk, if I improved again next year, I had a good chance to get drafted.  I had a few scouts ask me if I was drafted, would I come out after my freshman year.  I had to tell each of them no.  Sometimes, MLB teams will take a flyer on someone in the late rounds hoping they could convince them to come out.  It didn't happen with me.
     Matt became our starting second baseman midway through the year.  He didn't hit a lick, but his defense was superb.  He was voted the best defensive second baseman in the conference.  Things were looking up for him.  The whole off season, he decided to stay in Tuscaloosa with me to work on his hitting.

     My personal life outside of baseball was improving.  Towards the end of the school year, I met a girl at a frat party who shared a couple of classes with me.  I had never noticed her.  It’s amazing I hadn't.  She was a knockout.  Five foot seven, blonde hair, big tits and an ass that went on for days.  Our eyes locked in on one another from the crowded living room.  She kept staring at me and every time she caught my eye, she would smile and ever so slightly take a drink from her plastic cup.  It took me all night and a dozen beers to finally get the nerve up to talk to her.  She was way out of my league, however, we ended up waking up the next morning at her place completely naked.  It sucked not being able to remember most of what happened.  It didn't matter.  There would be plenty of times after that to remember.  The relationship was strictly physical.  Any emotion I had my freshman year was taken away by the deaths of my parents and not being with Mary.
     I thought about Mary a lot, hoping she was doing well.  She was like night and day the last time I saw her.  Whatever they were doing with her, they were doing well.  I could have sworn I had seen her at one of my games.  We played a small school in Minnesota.  I was under the impression big time division one schools didn't travel to small schools.  We played a couple of other division one schools during the trip, so I guess that is why.

     My new flame’s name was Amy Middleton, and she resided from a small town in southern Alabama called Andalusia.  It’s located a couple hours from the Gulf of Mexico.  Her family had a house on the beach she invited us down to over the summer.  Matt and I graciously accepted.
     I had never been to the ocean.  I tried to be Mr. Cool as I ran the ocean and into the waves with all my might.  I was greeted with a mouth full of salt water that made me gag.  There are certain things that happen to a person in their lifetime that makes them say 
“I will never do that again.”
  Running full speed into the ocean with my mouth open is one of those things.  To this day, I am always reminded of this by Matt.  They all got a good kick out of it.  Especially Amy’s friend Carly, whom she invited down for Matt to meet.  She thought it was so funny, she ended up pissing herself.  Thankfully, that took the attention away from me, as Amy so proudly shouted 
“Oh my God Carly you have pee running down your leg!”  
She laughed it off as she went in the ocean to clean it off.