My Desert Rose (21 page)

Now openly
sobbing, she rested her cheek against his chest and let out all of
the unshed grief, pain and hurt. Gently, he guided her to the
sofa.

"There, there,
Katarina, my daughter."

To hear him
call her name felt like the sun had burst through the clouds. "But
I thought you'd died," she choked out between sobs.

There was a raw
sadness in his voice. "There have been many times over the years
when I wished I had, but they found a pulse, took me to a safe
place and revived me. We let the world think I'd died along with
your mother, you and our unborn son."

"People thought
I'd died?" She was shocked.

"Yes, it was
the only way we could guarantee your safety. There were many
fundamental extremists who turned up that day. They pulled up in
their jeeps, raided the house, shot at anything that moved. Not one
of them could say for sure whether you were there or not."

"Is that why
you never came for me?" It was the question she'd wanted to ask
since Tariq had told her about her father. If he was still alive,
then why hadn't he come for her?

"Yes, even now
if I'm discovered I'll be a wanted man, a prize for them to show
off to the world. If they had known about you," he sucked in a deep
breath, "I just couldn't have lived with myself. The only peace
I've felt has been from knowing you were safe. Living in a small,
safe world, where you were unknown."

Everything
suddenly made sense. This sweet man, her father, had loved her
enough to give her up for her own safety. "But, where did you
go?"

There was a
smile in his voice, "I have many friends and I have moved about a
lot over the years. Much of my work for peace is undercover and
I've been very well protected."

There was
another question which she'd wondered about since finding out her
father was still alive. "Why now? Why connect with me now if
nothing much has changed?"

He patted her
hand. "That was Tariq's doing. Once he'd found your name change in
the British records, he set out to track me down. It wasn't easy
for him, as there is an impenetrable wall of influential people who
are protecting me, but he got through by saying that you were
engaged to be his wife. I allowed a meeting to be set up. Tariq
guaranteed me your safety over here in Socotra." He scoffed. "But
obviously his word was not true. You were put into terrible
danger."

"Papa, it's not
all his fault. I didn't listen to my inner hunches. I trusted Amira
and that was my downfall." Secretly, she was quite pleased about
the lengths Tariq had gone to in order to find her father, but then
she mentally kicked herself. He hadn't done it for her, he'd done
it for himself. "So, what happens now?"

A wide smile
spread across his face. "Now we make up for lost time. I am here
for three days. After that, we shall have to play it by ear. I
cannot guarantee you any safety in Turkey, nor can I travel to
England, but there are other places that we can meet, such as here
or even in Egypt."

Katie sighed.
Her joy in having her father back was immeasurable and she didn't
care as to what lengths she'd need to go to in order to see him. "I
too will be leaving in three days, to go back to England." She'd
just made an impulsive decision and it felt right. The thought of
leaving Tariq did cause a flutter to occur in her belly, but this
marriage was a sham and she wanted her life back.

Hazel eyes met
her blue ones and her father smiled knowingly at her. "If you're
sure that's what you want to do?"

"I'm sure." She
gulped. Something akin to loss once again settled itself around her
heart.

Chapter
Fifteen

It was the
evening of her last day. The last few days she and her father had
spent most of their time together walking and talking about
everything. There was an ease inside, a certain freedom that she
hadn't felt since she was young. Not wanting to forget a single
moment, she'd captured as much as she could with her camera,
including pictures of everyone else, apart from Tariq. Since her
glimpse of him in the office the other day, he'd apparently left on
business, which confirmed her feelings that she was doing the right
thing by going home.

Now she was in
a bit of a panic. Tomorrow, she was leaving. Even though Selina had
wanted to give her all the clothes and jewellery she'd acquired
since being here, she'd flatly refused and her intention was to
wear the gold maid of honour dress for the journey home. The only
thing she'd accepted was a coat and her Van pumps. The problem was
how would she get through customs without her passport? In the
limo, it had been in Tariq's breast pocket. It also made her wonder
how he'd got an unconscious, gagged and bound woman through
security? Perhaps his money and power had seen them through, but
still, he must surely have it somewhere?

The only place
left to search was his office. Knowing he wasn't around helped.
Opening the door and stepping in, she could smell his scent. It
took her breath away and made her realise just how much she'd
missed him, but she couldn't turn back now.

Opening the top
drawer of his desk, she rummaged around. It wasn't there. The next
two drawers down didn't yield any goods either. Yanking open the
bottom drawer, she stopped when she saw the cream envelope with her
name on it. Taking it out, she turned it over in her hands.
Something thick was in there. Using the letter opener on the desk,
she slit the envelope open. Inside was her passport. A surge of
relief made her belly flip over, but there was also a folded piece
of paper - a letter. Unfolding it, she began to read.

Dear
Katie.

There was a
little tug in her heart. What, no Katarina, no little moheet, just
Katie. Right there and then, she knew this was a goodbye letter,
she could feel it.

There's so
much that I want to say to you, so many words of sorry. I took
without asking. I was selfish, but I won't lie to you, I wanted
you, no, I
needed
you, just as the desert
needs the rain.

Katie drew in a
deep breath. At least he was sorry, even if it was a bit clichéd,
but no-one had ever needed her in this way before. Pulling at the
chair behind her, she sat down to read the rest.

There's a
story in my family that is passed down from father to son, to teach
him what true love is. In the middle of the Socotra desert grows a
rare rose. It is golden in colour with pink tips. It is said that
if a man's heart is true and the woman he has chosen to marry is
his other half, then he will pass the hardest trials to find the
desert rose.

First, he has
to trek across the desert in the season of the winds. Sand tornados
assail him and he risks falling into quicksand with every step he
takes. When he sleeps, deadly snakes and poisonous spiders seek him
out and during the day he is hunted by mountain cats that scavenge
for food. If he has not located the rose within three weeks, his
heart is not true and he has to return home empty-handed and the
marriage does not take place.

If he finds
the rose, then his heart is true, but if the rose dies before he
arrives home, then the woman is not his other half and the marriage
will be filled with strife. Only a golden rose in full bloom and
alive is a sign that he has taken great care of the gift bestowed
upon him and that she is his eternal desert rose. The marriage will
be filled with love and consideration for each other's needs.

My heart was
not true Katie. I was too greedy for you and I manipulated
everything. I've had to take a good hard look at myself and I
haven't liked what I've seen, but I believe there's still a small
piece of my soul intact, because I feel deeply that you are the
one. It was I who failed you. I may have found the rarest rose in
the desert, but I snapped it off by its stalk without digging to
find its root, without nurturing it and caring for it.

Katarina Turan
- a rare golden desert rose of such exquisite beauty, with an inner
love as vast as the blue ocean, my little moheet. I love you enough
to let you go. To let you take root, grow and blossom wherever the
winds of life may take you and maybe one day you'll come to me.
You'll come to me of your own free will.

Tariq

Tears streamed
down her face. Now she knew why there was a golden rose with pink
petals laid as the insignia in the marble floor of the entrance
foyer. Malik had also dedicated the desert rose to Selina. For
generations, the men of Tariq's family had been seeking their equal
in love. Nothing else would do and that's what Tariq was trying to
tell her, that he would no longer take her against her will. Over
and over, she read his words. Like her father, he'd loved her
enough to let her go. Whether he was consciously aware of it or
not, he'd just given her the greatest gift of all, her freedom.
Relief and yet deep sadness filled her being. Kidnapping her from
the wedding had been wrong. Forcing her to marry him on sentimental
grounds had been wrong. Withholding information about her father
had been wrong, but his heart was true, he just didn't know it yet.
Hadn't he risked his life to save hers? Folding the letter and
putting it back in the envelope, she decided to take it with her.
Moving to close the drawer, her eye caught another envelope with
her name on it. This one was more official looking.

Gingerly taking
it out, she realised that this one was not sealed. Pulling out the
contents revealed two annulment papers. One was in English and the
other in Arabic. At the bottom, Tariq had signed his consent. It
was to be annulled on the grounds of non-consummation. A tight
feeling snuck across her chest. This was what she'd wanted, so why
did it feel so wrong? The easiest thing to do would be to sign them
now and leave them on the desk for Tariq to find, but she couldn't
bring herself to do it. What she needed was some space in her own
home to come to terms with everything.

Closing the
office door behind her, she'd just about made it into the bedroom
before breaking down into huge racking sobs. When she was on that
roof with Cecil, she'd realised that she loved Tariq, but now she
was confused. Was it really love she'd felt? She didn't know, as
she'd not had enough time to explore a relationship with him
outside of the conditions he'd put upon it. Going into his dressing
room, she took out a T-shirt from his drawer and put it on. The
smell of him brought her some comfort and she lay down on top of
the covers and sobbed her heart out until she fell into a restless
sleep.

Tariq sat in
the dark and watched her sleep. Since the incident, unbeknown to
Katie, he'd come here during the early hours of the morning just to
hear her breathe. It hadn't been easy to step back and allow her to
enforce the decision not to see him. There'd been times when he
felt like bashing the door down and demanding an answer, but if
anything, these last few weeks had taught him that this was not the
way to go about doing things.

This would be
his final time of seeing her like this. When he'd arrived, he'd
caught sight of the annulment papers on the bedside table. Well, it
was done now, she'd obviously found the letter in his desk drawer
along with her passport too. Today, she was leaving. Having grown
up with everything he ever wanted at his fingertips, he'd never had
to experience what loss felt like. Yes, he'd suffered from the loss
of his ships and his men, but not this kind of excruciating pain. A
loss so deep, where you feel you're sinking into a dark pit of
nothing.

Maybe he could
have just one last touch, just one tiny stroke of her cheek before
she walked away from him. Getting up from the chair, he took off
his shoes and lay down next to her. She was facing him and he
listened to the soft falls of her breath. Every word he'd written
in that letter had come from his heart. There was nothing more
stunningly beautiful than this woman. Running his finger gently
down her cheek, she stirred in her sleep.

"Tariq," she
mumbled.

"I love you,
little moheet," he whispered.

"I love you
too," she breathed.

Hearing those
words from her lips caused his heart to miss a beat. Hope charged
through him. Did she really love him? Her eyelids fluttered and he
knew she was still asleep. Even though it was the hardest thing
he'd ever have to do, he got up off the bed.

"Come back to
me," he whispered to her at the door.

Chapter
Sixteen

It had been
three long, wet and lonely weeks. Outside, it was once again
raining. The mid-November winds were driving the droplets against
her patio windows. Sitting in her duck-egg blue snuggle chair in
the lounge of her Victorian terrace in Norwich, she watched a barge
float past on the canal through the watery glass. Even without
turning her head, she could feel the presence of the annulment
documents over on the kitchen table. They'd been sitting there
looking at her for three weeks now, almost burning a hole through
the wood. It was like having a great big elephant in the room while
pretending it really wasn't there.

Every time
she'd picked up a pen to sign them, she'd chickened out. Why? That
was the question she'd asked herself over and over. Why not just
get it over with and move on? But the thought of moving on without
Tariq depressed her.

Each day didn't
bring her healing. Time was not proving itself to be a healer. In
fact, nothing much got her roused these days. Not even the thought
of a new photographic commission for a lucrative deal got her
excited. Day after day, she just sat there and watched the rain.
The only time she went out was to pick up supplies and the
obligatory Sunday roast with her aunt and uncle. They were very
supportive, asking all the right questions, but she'd just sit
there chewing on a Yorkshire pudding, nodding in all the right
places, yet feeling nothing.